Chasing You
by keaRy anCe
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend can be the best or the worst thing that can happen to your love life.
1. Edges and Symmetry

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gakuen Alice.

**Chasing You**

**Chapter One**

_**Edges and Symmetry**_

* * *

><p><em>I'm wandering aimlessly within this repetition<em>

_And the answer I found is only one; that even if I'm scared, even if I'm hurt_

_I'll say "I love you" to the person I love_

_-Sen no Yoru wo Koete, Aqua Timez_

* * *

><p>"Thanks for coming for me!" the brunette beamed as she placed the last piece of book into one of the shelves of Alice Academy's gigantic library. She walked towards the counter of the library and pulled a piece of paper, also pulling her backpack towards her to get her pen. "Now, all I have to do is to sign this permit and finally this community service will end," she informed her companion and when she finished signing the paper she gave it to the librarian who didn't even look at her.<p>

She ignored the rudeness of the older lady and instead clapped her hands repeatedly but soundlessly in cheer.

The raven-haired guy beside her simply groaned. He simply followed the brunette on her way out as he readied to scold her. "This is what you get for being so nosy," he hissed. He didn't like what she had done and if only she told him about her act, he could have stopped her but she kept it a secret.

She gaped and glanced at his side. "Well, you can't blame me. I got curious and looked at Jin-jin's files but I didn't really plan on getting caught. I was so careful. I was so sure I won't be getting caught in action."

"Of course, you wouldn't." He said in mockery, his eyes rolled in sarcasm and annoyance.

The brunette pouted and said her defense. "I just don't believe that I got that low in Math. I mean, I did study hard. You even helped me and I just don't want to waste your effort and mine. Was it so bad to find out the truth?"

The boy leaned to her closer and eyed her. "Illegally? Yes."

She hit him in the shoulder and said grimly with narrowed eyes, "Oh, shut up, Mr. Legal. You wouldn't want me starting on the first time I saved your life."

He scowled at her. "Yah, saved-my-life-ass."

"Just be grateful to me," she said with superiority.

The boy walked in advance, waved at her, and said, "See yah later."

The brunette panicked and quickly stopped him. "Hey! We are going home together."

He turned around to see her just to say, "Can't. Need to buy something." He didn't mean to leave her just like that but because he really needed to buy something alone, he must. Besides, it was not like they wouldn't see each other again.

The brunette crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. She couldn't believe what she just heard. Her friend never bought something for a certain someone. Unless it was for her. "You? Buy something. I find that very impossible. You have maids for that."

"Who says it's not personal?" he retorted with a grin.

She frowned because automatically, she knew what he meant. "Oh. Then let me come with you."

"I think you better not," he suggested, trying not to sound too rude.

The girl suddenly smiled, thinking that her friend had every right to do so, "Okay. Then see you tomorrow!"

He waved at her again and mumbled to himself, "Yah, see yah."

* * *

><p>Natsume placed his bag on the free seat beside him and instantly groaned. "She's here again," he said with much annoyance.<p>

He sounded irritable and problematic. He placed a hand on his forehead and lowered his head, sighing. His newly bought backpack was the same as hers. He was enduring the displeasure and waste of time the girl had given to him for the past ten years. But he could not find the strength to shoo her away completely because after all they were…well, they had their moments. They were friends, very good friends. And he didn't even know how they became friends.

He could see her so near.

Oh, how much he hated her.

And how much he hated himself for not really hating her.

Honestly, he was just saying things.

It was almost lunch time and no student would miss this glorious break because of their growling stomachs. The cafeteria was almost crowded and free seats were being taken every second. Chatters filled the room and it was getting noisier and noisier. Some of it was about how food in the cafeteria never developed and up to now was still bad, others were talking about academics, girls talk about boys and boys talk about girls, most of them were just laughing about anything and the rest was history.

Natsume stared at the girl with unhappiness. She had been following him since morning, no, since forever. Since they met. Of all these years that he had pushed her away, he could not still get why she was not stopping yet. He told mean things to her, ignored her constantly, and refused to consider her as a friend, heck, even as a classmate but she was still there. She was unstoppable. So, he gave up on that part because, again, they had their moments.

"And in black. You two really match. Matching chains, color of shirt, and now bag? Really something." A mocking voice commented beside him. Natsume glared at him. Even if he was his boy best friend, he will show no mercy.

"Shut up, Ruka," he said in the coldest manner he can. "I don't need you to make it worse."

Ruka Nogi just laughed and resumed his eating. He enjoyed teasing his best pal to the greatest degree about Mikan Sakura because it could crack Natsume's cool image. He was the best when it comes to pissing his best pal off and anyone could count on him anytime; that was how he loved to make fun of Natsume. Ruka had the talent of getting easily into his skin and at the end of the day they were each other's best boy pal.

"Hey, I kinda admire her persistence," Koko said, staring at the girl, his hand on his chin, "At least her resolve has not been broken after all these years. Ten years? If you ask me, it is way too long. Imagine, it's a decade!"

Natsume just shook his head. "Not you too."

Koko chuckled. "Sorry."

"Natsume!" a loud screeching voice filled the room especially his ears.

The owner of the voice was a brunette girl with a charming smile. Students didn't care of her loudness because this kind of scenery was normal already. It was happening every day. The girl looked very bright and radiant. Her brunette hair reached her shoulders, her big brown eyes sparkling. Her positive mood seemed to reach outside and viral for making other students smile back at her.

"Here she comes," Ruka informed, smiling in mockery, "Welcome your girlfriend, Natsume."

Natsume massaged his forehead, indicating he was more annoyed. "Shut up," he hissed at Ruka.

"Good morning, Natsume!" she finally said as she took a seat beside Natsume. "Oh my gosh! This is not happening! Our bags are a match," she said and cheered with enthusiasm.

Natsume gave her a sarcastic smile. "Don't we always?"

She hit him playfully on the shoulder. "Oh, Natsume, don't act as if you don't like that sweet little fact," she said and pinched his cheeks hard and when her hands left his cheeks, Natsume rubbed his face and glared at her.

"If I can only express to you how much I hate it. Damn," he muttered, still rubbing his face.

Mikan glanced at the clock in the cafeteria and paid his attention again to Natsume and pinched his cheeks for the second time today which caused the male to slap her hands away lightly. "See you later, cutie." Mikan said and stood up and eventually began to run as if she was late for something.

Before he knew it, he could no longer see her in the crowd. He returned to his normal position and thought how fast things happened. She just greeted him that fast and gone. He noticed that she was busy these past few days considering the short reunions they had shared for the past week. Not that he was looking forward to it, it just that it was surprising to witness Mikan being busy and all. Mikan was barely busy for other things related to school for the reason that usually she was busy pestering Natsume.

Natsume massaged his cheeks; the heat and ache from her pinches were still present. "Damn that girl."

"No doubt. She's one heck of an admirer," Koko commented.

Natsume smirked and said, "Well if you admired her, why don't you just grab her and take her away from me?"

"Touché," Koko said, smiling and then smirking after awhile, "If I didn't know better, that sentence can indicate you consider her as yours."

Ruka leaned his arms on the table and eyed Natsume. "I don't see why you don't like her. You're childhood friends, right? You guys are each other's best friends."

"Whatever," he answered quickly. "Well, yes. Maybe."

Mikan would be angry if she heard that he just 'whatevered' their friendship when in fact they had been through a lot. Natsume scolded himself mentally and reminded himself never to do that again. In all honesty, yes, they were the best of friends. How? Because she liked him first and eventually wanted to become his best friend. It was not the usual process of getting your best mate but somehow it worked. For Natsume, she was a very important person of his life but Mikan didn't want him to see her as only that.

She wanted them to become more than friends and she was being very vocal with it. He was also very being vocal of rejecting her that it turned out to be a habit. She was confessing her feeling whenever she liked it and he would reject her.

But even after that, at the end of the day, they were still the best of friends.

The blonde-haired boy frowned, feeling a little pity on Mikan. "Come on, at least some consideration."

Natsume stood up and sling his bag on his shoulder. "I said 'maybe', didn't I?"

"Right," Ruka said in a teasing tone, "I heard you fetch her in the library."

"She had eight hours of community service as a punishment for looking up on Jinno's files," Natsume explained. "She got two choices to either clean the tables on the cafeteria or library work. She chose the second one and I just want to check her and scold her for being so nosy."

Koko nodded, his eyes were indicating that there was something about Mikan and Natsume that was not easy to see but was there all along. "In short, you are worried." Koko concluded.

"I'm allowed. We're friends." Natsume said, not denying Koko's implication.

"Best friends," Ruka corrected.

"Since pre-school," Koko added.

Natsume glared at the two and said, "Shut up."

* * *

><p>The door of the classroom opened and made a loud sound. Almost all eyes paid attention to the newcomer. They all saw brown, it was Mikan. She waved to all of her classmates; a thing she had been doing since she started schooling. She didn't attend in the morning classes because she didn't think she had the guts to face her Math teacher, Jinno, as early as today.<p>

"Hello, Hotaru!" Mikan greeted. Her energetic aura filled the room, infecting other students in the process.

Hotaru ignored Mikan. "Too nosiy," the ice queen mumbled.

Mikan walked toward Hotaru's table and sat at the chair in front of her best friend. "Don't be too cold. It's so early in the afternoon!"

"Yah, too early for your squeaking voice," she pointed out.

The brunette pouted. "My voice is so not squeaking!"

"Hello, Mikan, Hotaru!" Another voice entered the scene.

Mikan quickly looked at the figure and waved her hand. "Why hello, Anna!"

"Hello, to you three. It's really a good thing we have English together." A calmer voice greeted.

"Good afternoon, Nonoko." Mikan greeted back.

Anna and Nonoko took their seats near Mikan. These two were up for gossips at any time of the day. If you wanted to know that latest news in the campus, all you had to do was ask them. They had their reliable sources. But Anna and Nonoko had a certain story that they always follow up and that was Mikan and Natsume's story. They had always asked Mikan first thing in the morning to see some developments.

"Any progress with Natsume Hyuuga?" Anna started.

Mikan nodded and squealed. "We have matching bags."

Anna frowned, wanting juicier information. "You always do, Mikan. Remember how you always sneak to him in the morning? But that isn't the topic, when? I mean, when will Natsume Hyuuga notice you? It's been ten years since you proclaimed your crush to him. You've been pursuing him constantly since then. Tell us now, what is happening?"

"Nothing," Mikan said nonchalantly.

Nonoko raised her eyebrows and gave a furious expression. "Nothing? As in none? Zero? Nothing?"

Mikan was surprised at the reaction and got slightly nervous. "Yes, nothing."

"Mikan," Anna sighed, "Don't you find that a little _sad_?"

Mikan stayed silent. Yes, she did. Sadness almost overcame her at that moment but she could not let that happen because that will be sadder. Staying strong was one of her expertise and up to now she was standing strong despite of the negative feedbacks she had been hearing like being obsessed over Natsume Hyuuga, a martyr, a stupid girl and many more.

"Just let her. It is her choice to act like that." Hotaru interrupted. Mikan smiled at her.

Anna shrugged her shoulders and leaned on the desk. "I don't know, Hotaru. But at least Natsume Hyuuga should have like her now, right? That's how it is. It is supposed to follow the process of getting to know each other, become friends, and eventually lovers. Like in those clichéd movies we watch."

"That will come, Anna." Mikan replied with determination in her voice. "I've been working hard. I believe in the end Natsume will see all of that. In the end, he will finally come to like me that way it should be."

Anna's eyes softened at Mikan's admirable words. She wanted to support Mikan more and more each day and as a friend she will never leave her side until Natsume Hyuuga finally answers her or Mikan answers herself. "Very well then, I wish you luck, Mikan." Anna said, her voice soft mixed with sympathy and hope for her friend.

The brunette cracked a smile. "Thanks."

* * *

><p>It was five in the afternoon and students were making their way home. Mikan got her books from her locker and ran her way out. At this time, she could probably catch Natsume and her estimation was precise. Natsume was walking and almost near at the gate when she saw him. Mikan paused for a bit from running and smiled. This was her favorite part of the day because she got to be with Natsume alone.<p>

"Hey! Wait for me," she shouted, enough for him to hear her and ran to him. She didn't care if she looked like hilarious with her backpack bouncing on her back just to get close with Natsume as soon as she can.

Natsume turned and sighed. "Not again."

"Happy to see me?" Mikan teased while panting.

He poked her sweaty forehead and wiped his finger with her uniform. "In your dreams," he replied.

Mikan pouted at the cold reaction. "Can I walk you home?" she asked in a hopeful tone.

"It's a guy's responsibility to walk a girl home and not the other way around. Don't you ever stop?" His voice was irritated, like he was enduring something.

"No," Mikan replied quickly. "Come on, I'll walk you home." she said and grabbed his hand, dragging him immediately.

He ran his fingers through his hair and groaned. "I don't want to. Stay away from me." Natsume said and freed his hand from her grip. He saw Mikan frowned for a second and he was surprised on how fast she recovered and made a smile afterwards.

"Don't be like that. She won't like it." Mikan reminded. She got him.

The boy glared at her. "Don't drag her into this."

Mikan chuckled and nudged him on the side. "So serious. I'm just joking."

"Well it's not funny," he snarled.

Mikan could not help but to feel a little jealousy at how Natsume didn't want to make fun of this girl. She stared at the ground they were travelling and smiled sadly. The walk all the way their homes seemed to be longer as the silence grew and as Mikan pondered about her relationship with Natsume. The way they talked to each other could classify them as best friends but sometimes she didn't feel like that. Others didn't need to try as hard as her just to know something about Natsume but on her case, she needed to irate him first before he would blurt it.

"I don't understand you. If you really like her, why aren't you making a move yet?" she asked, her head still down. "You've been talking about her for a long time now and up to now, you still haven't asked her on a date or a little dinner? Come on, Natsume. I should be your example when it comes to these things. Be frank. Be straight."

It was funny on how Mikan was giving him advice on this kind of things when in fact she was pursuing him. Natsume wanted to laugh but this was one of those situations that were not laughable.

Natsume looked at her for a moment and paid attention again on the road. "How can I do that when everybody thinks you're with me?"

Mikan looked up, a sad smile plastered on her face. "I am, right? I'll always be with you even if you don't want me to and I will be there more when you need me. She is none of my business, you are. So I won't care about her or what you will do for her. All I care about is you. Others…they don't matter to me."

Her little speech almost made Natsume blush. Was she going to confess again?

He shrugged and patted her head lightly. "I'm not surprised you said that. But I know you're feeling uneasy because of this."

Mikan shook her head and stared at him. "When you're with her Natsume, others don't matter also."

_I'll do mine and you'll do yours._

Natsume gave her a sad expression. "Why are you being like that? I mean, don't you find that a little bit disheartening? I'm rejecting you all over again."

And just like after he rejected her, she just smiled with full sincerity. "It didn't. In fact, I'm seeing it a challenge. Can I ask a favor?" she asked.

"Sure."

Mikan grinned in an awkward manner. "Don't tell anyone."

Natsume understood what her purpose was. "Sure. I am not planning to."

She felt relived with his words. Natsume always kept his promises and so far none of it was broken and that was why Mikan entrusted Natsume most of her secrets because she knew it will not be spilled to anyone. She was the same to him. Surprisingly, they trusted each other. They brought out the best of each other.

The only problem was that they didn't see each other as the same. Mikan saw Natsume as her future while Natsume only saw Mikan as a friend.

"I like it when you are being like that," she confessed.

He glanced at her, confused with her words. "Like what?" he asked.

Mikan felt excitement when she realized Natsume was interested with their conversation. "Considerate. Kind. Adorable."

"Words not describing me," he said and shortly chuckled.

"Oh, I'm sure! I'm sure those are fitting for you." Mikan defended. "How was your life these past few days, Natsume? I didn't get to talk to you much," she asked and said quietly.

"You call this not talking too much?" he teased and Mikan just laughed. "I'm still bugged by you. No changes. Nothing that you need to know of since I am still the same."

Mikan liked that answer. "Do you think it's possible for nothing to change?" she inquired, her tone was sad.

Natsume looked at her with all seriousness and stated, "If we don't let it happen."

His words made her heart jump. She took it as an encouragement and proof that even when the time comes that he would make his choice, they will still be the best of friends. Something that Mikan didn't want to vanish.

"Yah, you are probably right," she finished silently and then broke into a smile. "See, Natsume? I still walked you home," she said and pointed at Natsume's house, her smile didn't fade.

Natsume looked around and realized that they were already standing at the front of his house; Mikan's house was just across. He smiled a little. "I hate it when you had your way."

Mikan just smiled and waved goodbye at him.

* * *

><p>"How was your day?" Yuka, Mikan's mother, asked as soon as she entered the house.<p>

Mikan who was currently putting spread on her sandwich smiled and took a bite. "Same old, same old. Nothing much happened."

"How are things going on with Natsume?" Yuka asked with a giggle. She had been a fan of her daughter's longtime chase with her best friend's son and she had been supporting Mikan all the way.

"We went home together and we have matching bags. You know, Mom, I feel closer to him as another day pass. Natsume makes me happy without even doing anything. Yeah, he is rude, arrogant, insulting, and harsh sometimes but there is no denying that he is kind in his own way," she said dreamily.

Yuka rested her hands on Mikan's shoulders and took a look on what her daughter had been making. "I know that you know what you are doing but Mikan…"

"Yeah?"

Yuka stared at her daughter with concerned eyes. "Liking someone is a wonderful feeling but it also hurts. I'm just preparing you for whatever that could happen and I am saying that you should be ready to accept Natsume's answer no matter what."

Mikan nodded, thankful for her Mom's words. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Great," Yuka cheered and took a bite on her daughter's sandwich.

Mikan saw her mother taking the stairs and took a bite on her already-bitten sandwich while mumbling, "Seriously, why does everyone thinks Natsume won't return the feelings?"

**End of Chapter**

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><p><strong>How do you like it?<strong>


	2. Closer than the Surface

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Two**

_**Closer than the Surface**_

"Good morning, Natsume!"

It was her usual cheery voice which greeted him. Honestly, Natsume was used to it and would always ignore it. Giving her attention would just boost her already inflated ego that was only present to him. He could see her expression clearly as she walked toward him, her expression was like they had not seen each other for years. Like, she missed him so much. But surprisingly, he did not find it creepy. Also, the fact he was wearing a white shirt today didn't skip him. She was wearing white, too.

It was a lazy Saturday and every weekend Mikan would always visit the Hyuuga household which was just across their house. She was visiting consistently because weekend was the only time she could talk with Natsume about personal things without worrying the eyes of the other people. She knew it was consistently bothersome to Natsume but she was not doing anything wrong so there was no reason to stop. At first, Natsume was strongly annoyed in how her persistence reached that level but she just won't stop so he let her did her way.

Natsume, who was currently drinking his coffee while reading a book, scowled. "Go away. I don't want you in my house."

But it was too late. She was already inside their yard.

She smiled widely at him and slammed her hands lightly on the table in front of Natsume. "But we're neighbors. And our families are really close so I am really welcome here," she stated and crossed her arms as she walked toward the main house.

She opened the door and let herself entered. She really was welcome in the Hyuuga household. Her mother, Yuka, was the best friend of Kaoru Hyuuga, Natsume's mother. Mikan had been visiting every week for five years now and she never got tired of it because of many reasons and one of those would be the warm welcome the rest of the Hyuugas were giving her. Mikan glanced at her back to see that Natsume instantly followed her inside, watching her as she made her way to the living room.

Her actions were natural; like she was an official resident of the household.

Natsume raised his eyebrows. "You don't plan on staying here all day again, do you?" he asked with a not so welcoming tone. It had been five years already and he was still asking this question of his. He felt dumb for a second.

"Unfortunately, I do." she answered casually and jumped on the couch. "Have you finished your reading your book?" she asked as she tried to find the remote control of the television which was usually stuck on the sides of the couch. She really knew this household so much.

Natsume placed his empty cup and his book on the table and answered Mikan with rudeness. "What's it to you?"

"I'm planning on borrowing that." It was her simple answer. The rudeness didn't affect her.

"Again?"

She had always been like that. Natsume's interests were also becoming her interests. She would always borrow things from him not just because to have a reason to see and talk to him but also to know him better, his likes and dislikes. They were growing and things on people their age were dynamic so she wanted to be updated about his life as possible. She wanted to be a big part of his life.

She looked at him and glared. "Oh don't you dare refuse because in the end you always end up letting me borrow your things."

"Then my kindness vanished now. No." It seems like his answer was final but she knew better.

Mikan removed her slippers and placed her feet on the couch. "Natsume, why are you so mean to me? You don't act like that to other people," she asked as she made herself comfortable in the couch. "Does that mean I'm special? Oh my gosh! I am, right?" she said in glee.

"The fact is, you're not," he said in a harsh tone which caught up guard Mikan, "And you will never be. No matter what you do, I just don't like you. Please do me a favor and get out."

His words stung but she chose to laugh. "Darling, I'm used with those words. They can't hurt me now."

Mikan was just saying it. Words like what just Natsume said to her facemade her wanted to jump off a bridge. It hurt her feelings like hell. She could feel the tears that were about to escape in her eyes and fortunately she found the remote she was searching earlier and avoided being caught by Natsume that she was about to cry.

Natsume shook his head slightly. "You're crazy," he said.

"Crazy for you," she retorted with humor, her eyes fixed on the television.

"Will you stop that?" Natsume's tone was annoyed.

Mikan stood up and walked to him. "I won't. I've already come this far. Why would I stop now?"

Right now, she had zero plans of stopping. She was so sure of her feelings for Natsume and never will she let go of that. She would never give up until Natsume finally notices her. After all these years, the hurtful words, the way he ignored her, the fact that Natsume had not shown any romantic action toward her, she could endure it. She would endure it all because her hope never faded.

"Such an idiot," he mumbled.

Mikan's expression changed from happy to serious. The sound coming from the television echoed in the room. She stared at him intently in the eyes and asked, "If I stop, would that make you happy?"

Now that she asked it, would he be happy? That was his ultimate wish for ten years. Maybe he will. He didn't even like Mikan the way she wanted him to like her and he could not see a future with her, so when she stops, he would be happy. His mind was shouting yes but something was off because as time went by, her irking actions became a part of his daily life. If ever he would say 'yes', that would be a definite lie. He would never be happy because stopping her would also mean breaking the foundation of their friendship. She befriended him after all because she had a crush on him.

"Definitely," he answered after a pause, the words seemed foreign to his mouth. He regretted saying it.

Mikan clenched her fist but was not visible to Natsume. "How unfortunate. I don't have the plan to."

He simply shrugged and was actually relieved that Mikan said it. "Should have known," he muttered.

"Don't you enjoy talking with me?" she asked, her voice was full of hope like all she was waiting was his sweet 'yes'. She silently prayed he would say 'yes'. "Many people are praising me because I'm fun to be with. Don't you feel the same way? Even the slightest?"

Natsume stared at her for awhile; his face did not show any happiness. "Do I look like I'm having fun?"

Mikan bit her lip and placed her hands behind her, right hand over the left. "I hope so. Because when I am talking to you and you talk back, no matter how insulting your words are, it doesn't fail to make me happy," she said with sincerity evident in her tone. "I love your voice ever since because it could manage to be the most charming voice ever behind its rough exterior. It's just that, you are so different. From the very first time we met, I know we can reach this far."

The boy didn't know what to say after her short speech. In front of him was a genuine girl who he didn't even like. He rejected her a million times but until now, she was still here. He had not thought about her feelings for all these years. Ten years and he had not asked her even once why did she like him. He stared at her and felt tremendous confusion. He faked a cough and announced, "I'll be in my room. Don't disturb me."

Natsume stood up and went for the stairs.

"Hey, Natsume!" she called out.

He stopped but didn't turn. "What?"

Mikan's seriousness was intact. "I'm serious about you."

He flinched at the words. "Whatever."

Once again, she mumbled. "I like you. I really do."

* * *

><p>"Why am I here again?" Mikan asked as she took her teaspoon to take a bite on her cake.<p>

"Because I'm curious," her company said.

Mikan placed her elbows on the table and munched the pastry. "Care to tell me, why do I care?"

The other person grinned shortly. "Coz it's about you!"

She rolled her eyes. "Koko, what are you up to?" she asked in suspicion.

Koko watched her as she ate, smiling at her every action. "Nothing. Just want to ask some questions. Come on, Mikan. Trust me on this."

"Fine," she finally answered. "But, you're not on the school paper or anything, right?"

Koko chuckled. "No. Trust me. This is just for my personal best interest."

"It better be," she warned.

They were currently on _Starbucks_. Koko phoned her the moment she stepped out of the gates of the Hyuugas. She didn't know why Koko called because to start with they were not even close but she still accepted his invitation because his words tagged Natsume's name. Mikan was allowed to go anywhere near the perimeter of their house so she went straightly to _Starbucks_.

"So, how did you and Natsume met again?" It was the first thing Koko asked. He was curious as a cat on how Mikan's mind was running that he even bothered to invite her in a coffee shop far from his house but near hers.

Mikan answered quickly. "We're neighbors. My parents are close to his. Basically, we are childhood friends."

He nodded and continued. "What is it that made you like him?"

Mikan ate the cherry of her cake before answering. "I'm the kind of girl who wants attention and I always get it…that's until I met him. He doesn't care. I found him as a challenge so I thought of plans that could make him noticed me and then I got close to him. For a child, he sure was handsome. At first, it was just a plain crush, next was attraction, then I came to like him, and now…you know." She blushed at the last two words.

Koko was satisfied with her answer. He rested his elbow on the table and placed a hand on his chin. "Are you aware that after ten years, nothing is happening yet?"

She nodded and held her drink, ready to take a sip. "Yes. Very."

Here came the personal part. Koko had no idea if this interrogation would hurt her or won't affect her but he didn't really care about that as of now because what he really cared about was that he just had to know. Ruka seemed to know a lot about Mikan and Natsume while he barely knew anything. He was Natsume's friend too and besides, he was interested on how a girl could be so open about this kind of relationship with her best friend.

"Why do you think so?" he asked, his tone hadn't changed.

She shrugged her shoulders and took a sip on her cold drink. "Easy. He doesn't like me."

Koko's smile faded. "And you're okay with that?" he asked, feeling a little astonished.

Suddenly, her eyes became tender and her facial features softened. "I'm not surrendering yet, Kokoro Yome. Someday, maybe, he will see me as a girl. He will have the same feeling as mine and finally we'll be together. I'm not losing hope. We have heard stories about waiting for so long and how everything was worth it in the end. I wanna prove myself that it's going to happen to me."

Koko was amazed with the way she answered. In school, she was so loud and with that most of what she said became nonsense but now as he was asking her questions, he realized that maybe Mikan Sakura wasn't bad at all. "What if that did not come?" he inquired again.

"I'll try my best to be happy for him," Mikan managed to say and looked far away after. "It's always the best thing to do, as the movies and dramas implied," she added.

This time, Koko developed an admiration to her honesty and determination. She was kind, no doubt about that. Mikan Sakura was not superficial. Mikan Sakura actually was an actually deep person that had a lot of stories that might inspire people. She was more than 'the girl obsessed with her own best friend' as others would say. She was the same but in a very different way. The typical type but somehow the unique one. Now that Koko was thinking deeply about it, he knew. He knew that Mikan Sakura already accepted that Natsume won't like her but she was driven by her hope.

Koko faked a cough as he felt being drowned by his thoughts and asked, "How did you know you love him already?"

Mikan shrugged. "He's everything that I could think of," she answered casually and easily.

Koko nodded, his eyes narrowed, and an awkward smile appeared on his face. "Why do you act stupid at school?" He was afraid to ask that question coz he might be wrong but then she laughed, proving his theory correct.

She smiled at the question but answered still answered it. "Because, I sense, that somehow my stupid side makes him laugh."

"All for him?" Koko wanted confirmation.

Mikan nodded and smiled. "All for him."

* * *

><p>Mikan just came from <em>Starbucks <em>and was now a few steps away from her house. She was looking down, not paying attention to the road since it rarely had cars for their community was a subdivision, and suddenly looked up when she felt she was already in their street to see if Natsume was outside again, like he did every night. He was admiring the stars, she assumed. Up to now, her assumption has not yet been proven correct or wrong.

Her prayer was answered again. There he was holding a pencil and his precious sketchbook. Mikan knew the moment he saw him that he was sketching the dark sky splashed with stars and the half moon.

She ran near the Hyuugas fences and she immediately said, "Hello, Natsume! Goodnight, Natsume!"

Natsume diverted his attention to the girl, surprised that she was still out at this time of night. He made a scowl. "It's late, little girl. Where have you been?"

She smiled when he said that. "Ooooh, is my darling worried?" she teased as she dared to took a peek on his sketch.

The boy noticed what she was doing and quickly pulled away the sketchbook out of her sight and snarled, "I'm not and don't call me darling."

Mikan sighed in defeat. "I met Koko at the café and he treated me some snack. Just that."

"Koko treated you a snack?" he asked in disbelief. "No way."

Mikan loved the reaction she got. It was like Natsume was being jealous. She tried to reach for his face but unluckily, Natsume made some few steps backward but still she said, "Do not be jealous, Darling. You're still the only one."

He grunted. "Who said I'm jealous? Go inside your house, lil' girl. Don't bother me anymore."

She nodded like a child. "Goodnight!"

Natsume just waved back shortly and turned around.

* * *

><p>Sunday came so fast that Natsume had no time to kick Mikan out of their house. It was two in the afternoon and he should have known she will barge into his bedroom, like always, and took the effort to take a bath earlier.<p>

"What the hell are you doing here?" Natsume was only clad in a towel, tied around his waist. He just came out on the bathroom when he saw Mikan on his room, no, on his bed rather, doodling in his computer. She was lying in the bed in the most comfy position; her tummy lies on the bed, feet on the air, left hand under her chin, right hand on the mouse. If he didn't know any better, he will think of her as a pervert for barging in like that.

Mikan was used with the sight of a half-naked Natsume. This wasn't the first time she saw Natsume at that state but even after so many times, she could still feel her stomach crunching and her cheeks heating. This move of hers, hanging in a boy's room, may garner negative comments from people but the Hyuugas didn't mind. They knew how much friendship there was between Mikan and Natsume and they all trust the both of them.

She stared at him shortly and pouted. "Don't act as if this is the first time. You know how much I love your room. Do you want me to tell you again?"

"Yah, as much as you love me, right? That's stupid. Go home." He ordered as he went to grab clean clothes.

"Not yet. I'm taking pictures on your laptop," she said as she made a pose and clicked the mouse.

Natsume went inside the bathroom again, not bothering to close the door, and wore his clothes. After a minute, he was already dressed.

"The hell. Get off my bed," he said in a harsh tone.

Mikan ignored her and made a pose again. "Why are you irritable? Of all people here, you know very well that I visit your room every Sunday."

"Without my permission," he added, walking towards her.

She gave him a knowing smirk. "Geez, Natsume. Stop complaining because I know in the end you'll let me do my way anyway."

He pulled a pillow and hit her in the head. "Stop saying that."

She winced a little and scratched her head. She stole the pillow and fired it back to Natsume and said, "Why would I? It's the truth."

Natsume hated the fact that she always had comebacks with every insult he throws. And the pillow hurt.

"What are you doing there?" he asked in suspicion.

"Nothing." Mikan lied.

Natsume growled and sat on the bed, leaning down toward the computer, their distance lessened. He snatched the mouse from her and started opening new windows. Mikan coukd sniff his scent due the distance and she did not miss the chance to. She inhaled his manly scent, being careful to be unnoticed. His features stumbled onto her sight and she was staring at him, checking her very own best friend again. His eyes, nose, lips, cheeks, and skin. Everything was beautiful.

His wet hair was producing droplets of water which Mikan found sexy. Her best friend was indeed a handsome lad. No wonder many girls were after him but he didn't go out with anyone of them and Mikan knew that she was not the reason. He had other reasons. Mikan could remember clearly the day when Natsume said that love was troublesome, commitments were meaningless in the end, and girls would always be there. She lectured him for saying so and after that, he hadn't said it again.

"Do you still chat with her?" she asked absentmindedly.

"Who?" he asked, still looking at the screen.

She made an awkward shrug. "You know! The Ibaragi girl."

"None of your business," he answered as he typed something on the search bar.

She frowned. "I wanna know my rivals, Natsume. If I will be really serious in courting you, I should start knowing my rivals."

"Can you hear yourself? Just now you sounded so moronic." He cannot believe she could actually say those words without feeling embarrassed. What did he do to deserve this?

"I'm serious," Mikan said firmly.

"Really?" he mocked.

She hit him in the arm. "I am! Hey, you wanna order pizza?"

He glared at her. "Shut up, bipolar."

Mikan chuckled and changed position. Now, she was completely lying on the bed, her back resting at its soft texture, her eyes rested on the beautiful ceiling. It was Natsume's idea. How the ceiling was beautifully painted. "Funny, right? Who the hell is allergic to cheese?" she teased him.

"If you have nothing good to say, go home." He said again. Even he was getting irritated with his own words.

"Any new sketches?" Mikan asked, her both legs towered over Natsume's.

"No inspiration," he replied.

"Then let me be!" she suggested, playing with his hair.

Natsume smiled with that. "Can't you say anything but promote yourself in our every conversation?" he asked, chuckling a little.

"Just kidding. It's your stuff. Do your best with it."

No matter how irritating she could be, when she talks like that, he could not help but smile. She barely talked in a serious manner, rarer in an encouraging manner. Somehow, he could think of something to draw when she was saying those magic words, 'Do your best with it.'

"How's your studies?" It was now his time to ask her.

"Wow. So sweet of you to ask, darling." Mikan said in a teasing manner again and Natsume glared at her, her smiled faded. "It's bad. I can barely understand the subject."

Natsume removed the laptop from his bed and placed it to his study table and lay beside Mikan. They always do this, every Sunday of the week. They talked about a lots of things may it be about school, family, friends, or just everyday circumstances. Little did everyone around them know how much Mikan and Natsume knew each other. They were closer than they think. Their friendship was never the superficial type.

"As expected from an idiot like you."

She waited for him to say that. "Sorry if I'm not a genius like you but at least I try my best. It just wasn't enough."

"Don't go drama on me," he teased.

She smiled and shut her eyes. "I am not."

Sometimes she wished that her normal days would be as wonderful like this. Talking to Natsume about anything made her feel closer to him than anyone else. They weren't hesitating to talk about things may it be light or personal and that's how it always roll. Mikan's thoughts travelled a little. If ever the time comes that Natsume will make a serious choice, will they do this like they always does? Will things ever be normal?

_If we chose to. _

She remembered.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>And how was this chapter? What can you say about Mikan and Natsume's relationship? <strong>

**Thank you for the feedbacks. Now, I feel like continuing this story. **


	3. She Knows

**A/N: **I remember what my professor in Research once said: Nowadays, the word crush means love.

* * *

><p><strong>Chasing You<strong>

**Chapter Three**

_**She Knows**_

Mikan was never an idiot.

Back when she was just a mere six-year old child, when she thought she could rule the world, she noticed an arrogant boy out of the blue. She also didn't know why but suddenly she began noticing this boy more and more whom when, before, she would just ignore him despite of their parents being good friends and seeing him every day when she was about to go to school. In her preparatory days, she was the class clown and everybody adored her and that was why she thought she could rule the world because everyone loved her but there was always an exception. There was this certain arrogant boy who changed that ideal she knew about herself.

She had always known Natsume Hyuuga. Their parents were friends with each other and they had been getting into each other's nerves since their first year on Earth. She had faint memories about him. At first, she didn't care about him but children would be children. The words 'rumors' and 'crushes' reached their innocent ears and were perceived by their gentle minds. They said you were a deviation from normal if you did not have someone you admire and that made Mikan nervous. She was late in hearing the rumor and every boy in her class was taken except for Natsume.

She stared at him and kicked herself mentally on why she just recognized his handsome features now. No wonder why girls went gaga over him but too scared to approach him since he was so high and mighty to look at and to be with. What Mikan did was cliché. She stood in one of their desks and said to the world, "I have a crush on Natsume Hyuuga!", though she didn't really know what the word 'crush' meant.

She just wanted to follow the trend so she did that. Many were astonished by her announcement because everyone knew that they could not get along and announcing it to the class was a humiliating thing to do. Natsume almost choked after hearing that. Cheers filled the room and Mikan, being the naïve girl she was, acknowledged their teasing as congratulation.

She turned around to saw Natsume glaring sharply at her. She swallowed, wondering what was wrong. He did not talk to her for a few weeks after that. Mikan had no answers on why Natsume got angry with her. On her opinion, the boy should be glad for having a girl that admired him. At present, Mikan knew the answer on why Natsume avoided her at all cost before.

Back then, she was not so serious. Her classmates continued teasing her about it and slowly she became curious with him. She wanted to know why he was not talking much unlike other kids and why he seemed serious all the time _aaaand_ why he seemed to hate her when everybody loved her for being such an energetic child. She thought of a way to talk to him. For the sake of curiosity, she began socializing with him. He once talked to her and every time he did, she wished he would say more. As they grew, she also grew fond of him

Years had passed and she confessed to him that she was attracted to him. They were twelve years old then. As usual, he brushed her off and told her to stop already but she did not. Natsume was kinda surprised with the word 'attracted'. That sounded so mature and he was actually surprised that she knew such word, being her idiotic and all. Six years of her irritating him, he cannot believe he survived and liked some of their moments. She had been there for him, always. Through the good times and especially in the bad times. He was _kinda _thankful.

Two years after, there was a development. She confessed again. This time, she said she liked him already. It didn't surprise him and instead he just poked her in the head. They were walking toward their own homes that afternoon when she told him to stop from walking and she said the magic words. Again, she was ignored. But why she did not stop? Because there was no confirmation from the man himself. No rejection. Surprisingly.

It's been ten years. They were both sixteen years old now and their relationship had never been the same. They grew closer and closer. His remarks to her became more hurtful. Her pursuing was reaching to a new level. Their friends were the witnessed of the progress on Mikan and Natsume's relationhip. There was no denying that these two had something special but not to the point of being romantic. The people around them were the witnesses of Mikan's love for her best friend. On how they managed to become the best of friends through all these years was still a mystery to everyone. Everyone thought Mikan was a stupid idiot for not putting an end to her misery.

But Mikan was never an idiot.

Mikan and Natsume knew each other more than anyone.

She was the first one to know that he loved to paint.

He was always the person who would comfort her first.

"When the day comes that your painting will be in an exhibit or you'll doing your own exhibit, can you please let me see it first?" Mikan asked Natsume as she continued doodling on his notebook.

"Who do you think you are?" Natsume snarled at her.

"Can I?"

"We'll see."

She made a promise to herself. She was courting Natsume for ten years now and nothing had happened yet so she concluded that he would never like her. She knew it by heart, she just chose to be blind temporarily. She promised herself that she will stop by the time Nartsume will grant her wish about the painting.

She would finally set him free on that day like what he always wanted.

But…

She would only be happy for him and not for herself. That day could be the saddest and most miserable day of her life.

* * *

><p><em><strong>2<strong>__**nd**__** year high school, Valentine's Day**_

_She was waiting for this day to come since last year. The fourteenth day of the second month of the year. She had a big preparation for this day. She bought a few number of cookbooks and watched a number of videos in the internet for her to perfect her handmade chocolate that she would give to Natsume. They said that it would be a lot more romantic and thoughtful if you would give a handmade chocolate to the boy you like. She had always given him gifts for Heart's Day but so far she had not given him chocolates but this year, she would. _

"_Okay, I'll just pack this up and… ribbon! Yes, a ribbon." _

_Mikan quickly made a move to find the ribbon she bought yesterday. The smile plastered on her face since she started baking never left her face. She was feeling excited on what would be Natsume's reaction when she would give the gift to him. She hoped he would like it and would accept it since she put on lots of hard work in perfecting the chocolate. It took her about four tries before she got the perfect taste, texture, and appearance of the sweet. _

_The box of handmade chocolates was ready. She started cleaning at the kitchen in a quick manner because it was already late and she needed a beauty sleep. She placed the box on the fridge, removed her apron, and yawned. _

"_I just hope you will accept it. Even not as your admirer but as a friend. I would be happy."_

_After that she went upstairs to take a bath and have a good sleep._

_0-0-0-0-0-0_

"_Natsume!" she called out to him. It was the end of classes for the day and she would never let Natsume go home without giving him the chocolates. _

_He turned around with a scowl on his face and said, "What do you want?"_

_Mikan smiled proudly. "Guess what I got for you?"_

_Immediately, Natsume knew what she meant. He lowered his head, his right hand on his forehead, and groaned in frustration. He was rejecting Valentine gifts since he came to school this morning and although he knew that Mikan would come up with something today, he still hopde that she would stop giving him presents. _

_He placed his hands on his pockets. "Not you, too. You know I don't accept chocolate crap or other things. I only accepted your gifts way back because you were pestering me about it."_

_Mikan's smile fell as she gripped the box that was hidden behind her. "Oh? They already gave their chocolates? But this one is different. It is handmade!"_

_He looked unimpressed. "So as theirs. Keep it, Mikan. Just eat that when you get home."_

"_But I made this for you. I put effort in making this. You could at least accept it as a friend."_

"_No," he said firmly and started walking away._

_She followed him right at the moment. "Natsume! Why don't you just accept it? Why are you being difficult?" she asked in desperation. She was tired of giving him presents, making an effort for it, and he would just reject them shamelessly. She was tired of forcing him to accept his gifts but if it takes pestering him just to accept her chocolates, then she would do so. _

_Natsume turned around and faced her. "What the hell. Why are you forcing me to accept your chocolate? Of all people, you should know that I hate sweet foods."_

"_I thought you were joking when you said that because there is no way a person could hate sweet foods," she retorted. _

_He shook his head in disbelief. "I am not having this conversation with you."_

"_Just accept it!" _

"_No."_

_Mikan bit her lip, thinking of what to say next. She was out of her composure. "Or… just eat one! Just eat one and I won't bother you with these chocolates anymore."_

_Natsume looked hesitant but tempted with her words. "Fine." _

_He opened the box and took a bite and brought back the chocolates back in the box immediately. "There. Are you happy?"_

_She stared at him for a moment before smiling. "Well, I would be happier if you will eat all of it but seeing you taking a taste of it, I think I'm satisfied. So, how was it?" she asked, hoping it was to his satisfaction. _

"_Not bad," he answered truthfully. _

"_Just say I'm good," Mikan teased. _

"_Don't cling on me."_

"_Thank you, Natsume."_

_**1**__**st**__** year high school, Last day of school**_

"_Have you ever wondered?" Mikan asked with her two hands under her chin. _

_Natsume, who was peacefully resting on the grassy field of their school, opened his eyes and asked, "About what?"_

_Mikan smiled awkwardly at herself and rested her chin on her knees. "A few years from now, we will go to college and have different paths. Do you think we could still manage to be the best of friends even when we are apart?"_

"_Then we can go to the same university."_

_She glanced at him and shrugged her shoulders. "Good suggestion but Natsume, I am not smart like you. You can go to any university that you like. I don't have that capability."_

"_Why are we talking about this?" Natsume asked, not in the mood for dramas and goodbyes. _

"_Because it's the last day of school," she answered timidly. _

_Natsume changed his position from back lying to side lying, his left hand was supporting his head. "We'll figure that one out when it comes. But for now I want to enjoy high school. "_

"_Yeah, you're right."_

_With his eyes closed, he said, "Don't stress yourself with this kind of thing. I think we can do it."_

"_Do what?" Mikan asked._

_He turned to a sitting position and looked at her. "Be the best of friends even if we are apart."_

_Mikan just smiled after that. Today was one of the best days of her life. _

* * *

><p>"What are you thinking?" she asked in a childlike manner.<p>

Mikan was inside Natsume's classroom even though they were not classmates. She loved to hang with him anytime, anywhere, anyhow. Natsume belonged to the Star Section that was why their classroom was more spacious and had more academic resources like the desktop computer at the back and book references at both sides of the room. Right now, Mikan and Natsume were the only ones in the room since it was break time and everybody was out to eat except for the two of them.

Natsume, who was currently answering his Math homework due for the next day, looked up to her and said, "None of your business. Don't bother me."

Mikan rolled her eyes and scowled at his rude answer. She knew he was busy but knowing Natsume, that answering homework was just like breathing for him. Too easy for his abilities. If he didn't want to talk, she would.

"Wanna know what I'm thinking?" she asked.

He continued answering and said, "Don't care."

Mikan gave him weird expressions until she finally gave up. No, not exactly. She had thought of something that would unquestionably get his attention and she will bet her life for it.

"Oh. Okay."

This time, Natsume looked up to her. "Weird."

"Huh?" Mikan asked innocently. "Did you say something?" she asked.

Natsume examined her face, trying to find what was wrong with her. "Nothing. It's better if you just shut up."

Mikan took a look at his assignment and was dumbstruck when she saw how fast Natsume was answering every problem like he did not need the time to think, he knew immediately what he was going to do to solve the problem, unlike her who took hours just to finish a three-item Math homework.

"I'm wondering when will be your first exhibit," she said, dreaming what will Natsume's exhibit would be like. She imagined the nonstop praises Natsume will get and how proud she will be of him.

"You sound more excited than me. What's it to you?" he asked in a bored tone.

Mikan smiled at him. It was a smile that indicates excitement and worry. "Something important. You'll like it, trust me."

"You're not even trustable."

Mikan pouted, wondering where Natsume get that kind of remark. "Why are you like that? You always say things that aren't true about me. Seriously, throw your pride away."

He set aside his book and paid his full attention to her. His crimson eyes met her amber ones and he could not calculate how drowned he was to her eyes. "Don't order me around."

"You done? How do you answer it so quickly?" she asked with shock.

Natsume simply gave a sly smirk. He liked it when he could do a thing easily while she needed to work extra hard for it. He liked it when she begged for help and promised to do anything for him in exchange for his help. He liked it that he was the one who came first in her mind whenever she needed someone.

"Math is an easy subject," he bragged.

The girl gave him a ridiculous look. "Easy for you to say. I wish I'm smart like you. Maybe if I'm smarter you'll finally like me."

Natsume's ears perked up on this and asked, "You think that's the reason why I don't like you?"

She shook her head slowly and rested her forehead on the edge of his table but immediately looked up and said, "No, Natsume. So can you please tell me what those things that you don't like about me are? I'm asking you this not because I want or will change it, I just want to know. I'm just saying my reason in case you are wondering."

"We're better as friends," he said, his face showing he was serious.

Those were one of the most hurtful words she heard from him.

"But I want more than that. You can give me a chance," she said in a hopeful way.

He sighed. "Mikan, I just don't like you that way. I've been telling you that since we were little children."

"I don't know, Natsume. Your eyes tell me the opposite."

"Do not analyze me," he said in a warning tone.

She scratched her head and smiled at him in the most beautiful way she can. "I can't help it. I like your eyes very much. Your eyelashes are long, longer than mine. I'll give anything to touch it. I've been asking myself for so long on how the heck your eyes are crimson. So rare, so beautiful."

He simply rolled her eyes. _Here she comes again_, he thought. "Ogling is rude and you call yourself a girl."

Mikan leaned closer to him and touched his face. "It's not the face, Natsume. I love you for your personality and for your own way of showing your concern. I could kiss your eyes right now but I know you'll hate me forever and I can't bear that. You're too precious. I cannot stand a day with you hating me, you know."

Their noses touched. A spark was felt by the both of them and it was magical for Mikan but certainly not for Natsume, for him it was awkward. Their eyes connected. Mikan felt so happy at that moment because it was similar to those she had seen on movies, this was the moment that the boy will grab the girl and kiss her endlessly. This was the exact same copy of it except for the fact that the boy didn't like the girl. But she wouldn't give a thought about that now because this was the first time she saw Natsume this close.

"Move away," his voice interrupted her splendid thoughts.

She didn't move. "I'm sorry. I'm just making the remaining days worth it."

"What do you mean?" Natsume asked immediately.

The bell rang and she rapidly moved away. "Bye!"

"Damn that girl."

Mikan was worrying Natsume with her words like she was going far away or saying goodbye. He failed to pay attention to his class because of constant thinking of her. There was no way Mikan would leave him alone so it was definitely not a goodbye, maybe another scheme of her.

* * *

><p>"Natsume!" a woman in her late twenties called.<p>

Natsume walked toward her, hands on pockets. "Hey. New deliveries?"

The woman finished wrapping the painting. "As you can see, yes. The last one you drew was a hot one. Everybody wants it. At this rate, we can raise millions in your exhibit."

He looked around and said, "Give me four more months to complete my collection, Misaki."

Misaki shook her head showing her disappointment. "You've asked for an extension before. What are you finishing anyway?"

Natsume simply smiled at her. "Something good and it will be the best if you will give me the extension."

The woman thought about it for a while. She was being way too kind at this boy. "Fine. I trust you."

"You should be," Natsume replied confidently.

"Four months for your extension and one month for your preparation. More or less, your exhibit will be on your birthday. Look forward to it," she informed.

He just gave her a shrug of shoulders. "You know the reason why I'm doing this and you know I am not the type who looks forward on things," he said while looking at the paintings displayed in the gallery.

Misaki followed his path and said, "I know, I know. It's for your so called friend that I don't believe because no person will do such thing just for a friend."

"She's really my friend. Believe me." Natsume insisted.

Misaki was still not convinced. "Her name's Mikan Sakura, right?"

Natsume glared at Misaki making her laugh. "You're tracing her."

The pink-haired girl woman laughed. "Of course! I am curious. I heard she is courting you. The hell with that, Natsume. What kind of boy are you, letting a girl court you? And what's worse in that? Is that she's been courting you since six! Judging with what I've gathered, this girl must be pretty slow."

The boy scowled at her. He hated it when someone was making fun of Mikan. "I wouldn't laugh if I were you. She's a great girl."

"You like her?" she asked.

He didn't answer immediately. He saw Misaki have him a knowing look so he said, "No."

Misaki refused to believe him. "Then stop saying that she's a great girl. Only boys who have interest in a certain girl say that."

He rolled his eyes. "Believe me. I don't like her that way. She's my best friend."

The girl grinned knowingly. "Don't be shy, Natsume."

He stopped walking and turned to her. "Watch it. I do not like your words."

She was surprised to see Natsume act like this. He was threatening her and too bad that she had something that will also threaten him. "I'm your financer for your first ever exhibit. Don't you forget that."

Natsume didn't look pleased or amazed. "You know how I can easily finance this event."

"Really? Then why am I here?" Misaki teased. "Wait, let me answer that. Your Dad won't give you anything."

"I'm going," he announced, pissed off.

"Natsume," she called and good thing that Natsume turned around, "Good luck. With your surprise, with Mikan, and with your family."

Natsume just waved back.

**End of Chapter**

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><p><strong>I have notice that I sound serious whenever I do my author's note. Never mind. Sorry that it took me so long to update. I think you guys know the reason and it's: school! I can barely take a day off because even in Sundays I'm too occupied with school works and I should stop this rant because I know very well that you know how hectic school can be. <strong>

**Thank you for those who reviewed for the past chapters! **

**Review guys? **


	4. Stealing Pain

**A/N: **I love the song Continued Story by Hitomi. And the characters can be OOC.

* * *

><p><strong>Chasing You<strong>

**Chapter Four**

_**Stealing Pain**_

Who was this Nobara Ibaragi?

She was the girl Natsume was courting.

Two years ago, Natsume Hyuuga almost had a girlfriend. He courted her for half a year until Mikan shooed her off. How she did it? No one knew. Much to Natsume's dismay and anger. The two did not talk for almost two weeks until Mikan apologized and reasoned out that she would not do what she did if she never saw something bad at the girl. From then on, Natsume warned her about not meddling anymore into any of his personal affairs. Mikan wanted to protest but she respected Natsume so she would at least give him that.

On the other hand, Nobara Ibaragi was a student in their school. She was in a different section but at the same level. She had a gray hair not similar to the old lads and actually it was quite fashionable, tantalizing and sleepy eyes, a sweet voice, and a very nice attitude. She might not be popular but her kindness and uniqueness was enough to capture Natsume's attention. Not really attention, at first, but the desperation to make Mikan stop. When he got to know Nobara a little more, he figured out that she might be someone he could like.

Natsume warned Nobara about Mikan beforehand and Nobara was nice about it.

Mikan never met Nobara but she had been hearing stories about her and much to her disappointment, all she heard was pure positive comments. Mikan wanted to know whatever this Nobara girl was hiding and her ulterior motive for entertaining Natsume. But it did not get Mikan to anywhere because she chose to be quiet this time because she saw how sincere Natsume was when it comes to Nobara. She was jealous to a girl she had yet to meet. After that, Mikan made a promise to herself on not to ask about Nobara anymore, she did not have any plans to meet or know her, Mikan tried not to care because she did not want to see Natsume's future standing before her.

The name Nobara Ibaragi always came up with the lists of top students in their batch together with Natsume. Not only beautiful and kind but also smart. She was hard to find, one in a million, a great girl. Natsume deserved something like that. Natsume was also a great person.

Natsume Hyuuga was courting Nobara Ibaragi for four months now.

And Mikan knew it was only a matter of time before they could be officially together.

* * *

><p>Mikan approached Natsume with a cheerful expression and said, "Four months," and raising four fingers in her right hand. She started walking together with him, as close to him as possible.<p>

He pushed her aside and asked in annoyed tone, "What are you talking about now?"

Mikan clapped her hands. "Four months to go and it's your birthday," she announced with a squeal. She almost danced out of excitement.

He didn't need her to remind him of that. He was fully aware what day his birthday was and how many days were left before this not-so-special day for him but special for Mikan. "Go away," he said coldly and in an uninterested tone which made Mikan stopped from her squealing.

The brunette stared at him, observing him, and started squealing in excitement again, ignoring his rude remark. "I'm going to prepare lots of food as always. Natsume, it's going to be a surprise." She was saying like it was still a surprise.

He smiled inwardly at her actions. As predicted, she was more excited than him, like always. He said that he was not looking forward to his own birthday and it was true but he was actually looking forward on Mikan's preparation, to the food she will make, and lastly to her gift. She knew him too well and would always know what to give to him. If it weren't for her, he must have hated his birth date now.

"Then why the hell you are telling me, dummy." He said and poked her in the forehead.

She encircled her arm into his. "I just feel like it. I know you hate surprises and remember your eight birthday celebration, you didn't almost come so I am informing you earlier so your presence will be assured."

"So annoying," he muttered.

Mikan moved away from Natsume and went in front of him, her hands on her back. "By the way, I came to seek for an advice."

"On what?" he inquired, interested.

Mikan made a cheeky smile. "I'm planning to join in the Publicity Committee."

_Koko's there_, Natsume immediately thought. "So?"

Mikan bit her lip showing her hesitation. "Do you think I can handle the work they'll give me?"

Natsume didn't like it when Mikan doubted herself when everyone knew how much potential she had. She may not be the smartest girl around but she could be as responsible as the president of a club. He knocked her forehead lightly and said, "You may be annoying but you're responsible. Just make sure it won't affect your studies, little girl. Don't come crying to me because of your low grades."

Her confidence boosted when she heard Natsume's support. "Worry not. I'm practicing time-management now."

He patted her head. "Good for you."

_He patted her head. _

"Yeah," Mikan answered, almost speechless.

Natsume walked his way first and asked, "Don't you have class?"

Mikan quickly followed him, making sure that she was not flushing red because of the head-patting that happened. "Mr. Narumi is absent again and I wouldn't mind walking you to class," she said and gripped her bag tighter, "Though I'm worried that he's been absent a lot recently."

The crimson-eyed boy ignored the last statement. "Only boys do that and I am not some weakling that needs guide just to get into a classroom," he commented but he never missed to notice on how Mikan was worried for other people. She was really that sweet.

She crossed her arms and frowned. "But I want to. Can't you just say yes without any retorts?"

"It makes me feel like a sissy."

She hit him in the head. "You're the only one thinking about that."

"_She's with him again."_

"_Can't help it. We know how monkeys love to cling."_

"_Since you said it, come on, she does look like a monkey."_

"_Oh no, I think she heard us."_

"_We're just telling the truth and she should be a grownup ape and accept it."_

The brunette shut her eyes quickly and shook her head lightly, too light that it was almost unnoticeable. "We're close to your homeroom, Natsume." She pretended that she did not hear any comment from other people, that she was alright, that it was okay. "I told you. I always had my way."

Natsume glanced at her and sighed. He turned to her finally.

"Mikan."

Mikan giggled and looked away. "You only call me by my name when you are about to ask me if I'm fine. To save your breath, I am. Those comments won't hurt me. They know nothing." Even though she was saying those things, she herself could not believe it. They were words meant to hurt a person so the effect will be that. The throbbing and stabbing pain she was feeling was something Natsume needed not to see or know.

He held her arms and shook them a little. "They're lying. You shouldn't be used to it because those are not facts, those are insults."

Mikan made an expression, mixed of pain and strength. "I don't really care about them. I know that I cling to you so much but I am no monkey, pfft. I'm just… me."

"That's right," Natsume gave her a smile.

Mikan nodded and stepped back. "Here we are. Oh, I see Ruka and Koko." She pointed at Natsume's back and made a wave.

"Don't look at them." He said it in a possessive tone.

"Why?"

"Go to your class already," he ordered.

Mikan nodded, but completely clueless. "If you say so."

"And Mikan," he called and paused.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"You're beautiful."

Mikan's cheeks puffed up when she heard that out of immeasurable happiness. Only once in a blue moon would Natsume give her compliments and a compliment as ultimate as that cost a celebration. But she would just celebrate silently. She ran toward her room with a big smile plastered to her face, squealing all the way. She opened the door and quickly went to her friends who were busy talking about their next class and what could be the reason of Mr. Narumi's absence again.

Anna and Nonoko turned their hands when they heard Mikan's squeal, they immediately wondered what kind of miracle happened to her, and suddenly they had mischievous grins plastered on their faces. Meanwhile, Hotaru glanced at Mikan through her peripheral vision. She saw how superficial her best friend could be sometimes. Mikan was only acting this way when Natsume did something special to her which meant nothing for the boy himself. Hotaru only rolled her eyes. Not that she was not happy for Mikan, she was just trying to put into her head that whatever happened was never worth a reaction like that.

"Natsume said I'm beautiful," she quickly said and squealed again, stomping her foot. She was overjoyed.

The three girls were caught in surprise. That was it. They thought it must have something to do with Natsume showing the equal affection she was showering him with. Although, being called beautiful by Natsume Hyuuga was an honor for most of the girls, as his best friend, wouldn't it be perfectly normal? But, hey, it was Mikan so her reaction would naturally be like that.

Anna laughed. "He did? Well, that's really great news. You are really stepping up, my dear friend. I wouldn't be surprised if one day you will finally get what you've always wanted."

"I agree," Nonoko added, "Natsume Hyuuga isn't the type of person who makes compliments and him calling you beautiful is such a wonder. Congratulations, Mikan!"

Mikan felt an addition to her current joy because of what her friends were saying. She almost forgot that she received negative comments before Natsume called her a beauty. Anna was right, she was stepping up and soon Natsume will recognize all her efforts. She almost forgot about the tiny little fact that Natsume was pursuing someone currently and the idea that just might have said that to ease the incoming pain for Mikan, but still, she was glad.

"Thanks! And what can you say, Hotaru?" Mikan asked excitedly.

"Why did he say it?" Hotaru inquired, not looking glad for her.

The brunette was caught a little surprised by Hotaru's question. She never made it simple for Mikan. She was making the brunette doubt herself whenever Hotaru questions her. "Some girls were gossiping about me and called me monkey so when I walked him into his classroom he said I'm beautiful before I left," Mikan said in a flat tone.

Hotaru knew it. "He probably just doesn't want you to get sad because of something so trivial."

Mikan was disappointed at her best friend's response. She crossed her arms and frowned, her eyebrows almost met. "Hotaru, don't make it sound like he did that for me not to fight back when he even told me that I should not let other people insult me."

The ice queen let go of it. She did not want to argue with Mikan on such a fine day. "Well then, maybe he did mean it. Congratulations, Mikan."

"Thanks! I can't believe my day is complete right now."

"Just… don't overanalyze things next time, okay?"

Mikan bit her lip and looked on the ground for a moment. "Okay, Hotaru."

* * *

><p>School was done and Natsume was not with Mikan today because she had cleaning duties. When Natsume was about to enter the gate, he saw his father's car and he knew already that it meant bad news. His father barely went home, maybe once a month if lucky or if unfortunate, once every three months. It was his work he was so busy of. He intended to travel places by places, country by country. But sometimes they did not believe their father's reason for not going home.<p>

Not that it was an almost broken family but Natsume's parents weren't in good terms for the past year and it was alarming. They were always fighting about not having time with each other, being only together for the sake of the children, and worst of all, affairs. If they were to make up with each other, it will only last a few weeks and then they would fight again. Their parents' relationship was not healthy anymore especially for their mother, Kaoru.

Kaoru Hyuuga was the one hurting the most for her husband's rumored infidelity. She tried asking her husband about it a million times but he would just shrug it off and in the end, becoming livid to her for asking such questions with no proof at all. Kaoru pretended to be fine when she was with him, trying to look strong in front of Aoi and Natsume because that was what a mother supposed to do but there were times when she could not hide her yelling voice to her husband, Ioran.

Natsume swiftly entered their home and saw Aoi sitting on the couch. The lights were off and the only thing illuminating the living room was the open television. He walked toward his older sister, placed his bag on the floor, and stood beside the couch but looking still at his sister. He could hear the shouting voices from upstairs and since it was becoming usual for the last twelve months, it almost sounded like a gush of wind for Natsume.

"Why are you here?" he asked, feeling agitated to see his sister so comfortable.

Aoi munched another chip and changed the channel of the television. "Hush. Mom and Dad are fighting. About another woman." She said it like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Shit," Natsume muttered and readied to run to his parents' room.

"I don't think it's a good idea to pry, Natsume."

Natsume turned around and fumed. "They'll kill each other if we don't stop them. We've had enough of this. You should know what to do by now."

Aoi stood up and approached her brother. She threw the bag of chips she was just eating on the floor with the remote. "And I chose not to interfere! Natsume, we are not really helpful at the moment. Those are our parents' quarrel. They are mature enough to handle it and to talk about it. Face it, you cannot help them. They will just ignore you."

"You don't know a thing, Aoi." He said grimly and was about to go upstairs again.

Aoi ran and stopped him by pushing him a little. "That's unfair, Natsume! I am a part of this family, too!" she yelled with so much emotion, "Just because I don't stay here most of the time doesn't make me any less of a family member. I have my rights, my place, my say."

"Then why aren't you doing anything?" Natsume retorted calmly, "You even chose to live outside this house just to avoid hearing them fight all the time. Face it, you don't want responsibilities. You are running from them!"

"Don't yell at me. I'm still your older sister!" Aoi warned. She was breathing like she was running. "I left because I want to be someone else and I can't do that if I will stay here."

"Of course you can," Natsume pointed out, he was smirking out of annoyance, "Why not? It's just your excuse."

"Whatever do you want to believe. But I'm telling you that prying won't do a thing, Natsume. They will stop eventually and sometimes you just have to wait," Aoi said with firm eyes and in a tone that showed superiority.

Natsume hated it when sometimes she could be right.

* * *

><p>Mikan left her bag on the couch. She was on Natsume's house today for a reason. Aoi greeted her in the door and hospitably welcomed her in. Mikan was surprised to see Aoi around because she knew that she was already in college and was working at the same time which made her busy. Right when she saw Aoi, she knew something was wrong because Natsume's mother would only call Aoi and asked her to be at home when something was up. Mikan asked her if Natsume was upstairs and she said yes. Mikan also asked her if Mrs. Hyuuga was fine, Aoi smiled at her and said, "You know us very well, Mikan."<p>

Mikan apologized if it looked like she was being nosy into family matters but Aoi just shrugged it off and told her that it was the right thing, something a best friend would definitely do. There were a lot of things that they could talk about but that was not the reason why Mikan visited Natsume's house right after class so Aoi told her to go to Natsume already because he really needed a friend.

She went upstairs and saw that Natsume's door was open. She let herself in and saw Natsume sitting on his bed, sketching something.

"Why are you absent today?" Mikan asked right away.

Natsume looked up to see her and only made a cold expression.

"Go away."

Mikan quickly walked toward the bed and started lecturing him about skipping classes and thinking that school was nothing important, that he might be smart but it was no reason to skip school, that he might have a problem but they could always talk about it. "You had three quizzes and a project to pass. Why the hell didn't you come to school?" she asked in a desperate manner.

"It is none of your business. Go away." He continued on sketching again.

Mikan stole the sketch pad and pencil from his hands and pushed him a little. "It is my business, Natsume. This isn't like you."

"Don't act as if you know me too well," he said emotionlessly.

She hated it when he was being too harsh or acting like an idiot. Natsume was an idiot for saying that she didn't know him too well because in real life, Mikan knew Natsume more than he knew himself. She knew his weaknesses, strengths, positive and negative attitude, favorites, likes and dislikes, dreams, capability, ability, talents, skill, everything. She was the only one he confided to.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

Natsume gritted his teeth and mumbled only because he knew he was being insensitive again. "I said go away."

"What is happening to you?" Mikan asked, gripping his hands and forcing him to turn to her.

"I said go away you annoying little brat. I don't give a shit to whatever you will say."

Natsume was losing his temper and he was aware that if he would say another rude word, he would regret it. His best friend was in front of him, asking what was wrong, hoping if they could talk about it, praying that she would somehow lighten up the pain but here he was pushing him away, taking her for granted because he knew she would be back. What if she would not? The thought scared him. The effect was like hearing thunder back when he was a little child.

"Have your parents fought?" Mikan finally asked.

"Aoi told you already, I see."

Mikan looked sympathetic and just narrowed her lips. Natsume was not very talkative when it comes to family, disregarding the fact that he was not really talkative, but it was a subject he never really brought up ever since, ever since Mikan decided to break the wall. She was a witness on how Natsume grew into a loving family that was turning slowly into a nightmare. He told him what he felt about his family several years ago and Mikan was touched by his bravery to open up to such important matter. Natsume told her that he believed someday it will be better but as the years passed, it was just getting worse resulting to Aoi's demand of independence and their father's rare visit to them.

Natsume was not really good in telling every single detail. He had still left out some parts which were very private and Mikan respected that secrecy. He said that he was telling her all of these because he knew she would understand and that he knew she would make it better because she always did that for him. Mikan advised him to appreciate his family especially his father because she knew how hard it was to live without a father figure. She even called Natsume lucky for experiencing a complete, happy family even though for a short time and some other time in the future, there was a big possibility for their family to become united and happy again.

Natsume, personally, doubted what she was saying but seeing how high her hope was and how much faith she was putting on for him and for his family, he couldn't help but believe in the same way she did. Mikan was like a communicable disease, in a good way. She could make you feel fine by showing that she was fine. Natsume's parents were near in filing divorce and he was aware on how worse it was but somehow he felt like he had no problem at all because of her.

"No, she didn't. I just know. That's the same reaction you have four years ago when they fought also."

Natsume hated the memory of four years ago. "Get lost, little girl."

Mikan regretted saying it, for making him remember. "I'll leave now, Natsume."

* * *

><p>"I thought so. You just wouldn't stop."<p>

This happened before. Three years ago, Natsume's parents quarreled about the same thing they fought over last night. It was a messy quarrel with them shouting all over, throwing things at each other, threatening each other. Natsume hated it when something like that happens to his family and could not help but feel more irritated to the world. There was never a time he didn't feel the urge to pry onto their fight and tell them to shut their mouths and file divorce if they want to but Aoi would always stop him before doing so.

Mikan was there that night and being the persistent girl she was, she barged in to his room and became insensitive, lecturing him about not doing something or about looking like he was didn't give a damn that his family was a mess. Natsume yelled at her for that and said mean things to her that made her cry but still after that, she was outside his room, laid on the floor, beside the door. He completely thought she already went home but no, she waited for him.

She waited for him just like now. Natsume lifted Mikan and carried her toward his room. He placed her on his bed and pulled the blanket around her. He could see her uncomfortable expression as he laid her on the bed. He went out from a horrible sleep and took a bath to freshen up and as he went out his room, he saw her. No one ever waited for him like that. She was always overtopping things. Sometimes, Natsume would think if he really was worth the wait.

Mikan was already awake when a couple of seconds ago before Natsume went outside his room. She blushed at the skin contact that happened when he carried her. She pretended to be sounding asleep to at least feel his touch on her skin. Even just a bit. It was a romantic thing to see and when Mikan became aware of that, she blushed even more.

"Stupid girl. It's not like I'm going anywhere."

Mikan moved a little and Natsume found it adorable.

They were teenagers now, 16-years old to be precise, and many had changed. Many things differed from before compare to now but her… she was always there for him. She didn't change.

"Sometimes I don't know how I can say it without hurting you," Natsume talked to her sleeping figure, "It will hurt you, I'm aware but knowing your personality, you will smile to me and say that you've got it all figured out."

He bowed his head and shook it. "Mikan, I'm sorry. I just don't."

After that short speech, Natsume stood up and left the room. When a click on the door was heard, Mikan opened her eyes. Sadness was evident on her brown orbs, her hands gripping the sheets hard, and she was forcing herself not to cry. It was so early in the morning and it started good but now her whole day was ruined.

_Why? Am I that hard to like?_

Tears started falling down from her eyes to her cheeks and she quickly wiped it off but more tears came. "Stupid, Natsume. Making me cry so early." She sniffed and sobbed and got up from lying down. Her tears fell even more. She was laughing at herself for feeling such way when he made it clear so many times that he could not feel anything for her except his concern for her as a friend. She could feel the pain physically and realized that whatever she will do for him, he just didn't like her.

Natsume knew nothing. He never knew she cried when he rejected her at 12, he never knew she cried when he rejected her at 14, he never knew that every time he was pushing her away her heart was tightening in pain. He never knew and will never know how much pain he caused her this morning for that rejection. He was making her stop.

"In movies, you should like me by now," she mumbled dejectedly, "But why? After all these years, you still see me as your friend whom you can tease and disregard whenever you want."

Five, six, seven, ten years and counting. She was waiting for him all this time and was willing to wait for him no matter what just to be with him. "Maybe, I should really stop and free you. Maybe there is no more hope left." She remembered he was courting somebody and that just added to the extreme pain she was going through. It was like bouncing from her heart to her brain. She sobbed again and sobbed and sobbed and cried and cried.

She removed the blanket and wiped her tears. She made sure that there was no indication that she cried before she left the room. To her surprise, Natsume was there when she was out.

Mikan made a smile though it looked faked. "Good morning. I didn't realize I fell asleep here. I was waiting for you when-"

Natsume stared at her and saw that her eyes were swollen, her cheeks were puffed, and there was a sad aura surrounding her. "Are you feeling hungry now? I made breakfast."

"No. I don't feel like eating."

"That's a surprise," Natsume teased.

Mikan just weakly nodded. "Yeah, see you later."

She walked passed him but Natsume gripped her arm and asked, "What's wrong now?"

She turned her head to the side and acted like she was confused by the question when in fact she knew what he was talking about. "Nothing. I should be asking that. How are you? Have your parents reconciled?"

Natsume released her arm from his grip and looked unsure at her. "I'm fine. I mean, I'm old enough to handle this. They went separate ways temporarily, just like before. In a week, they'll be fine. Don't change the subject, Mikan. I'm asking what is wrong with you."

"Good to hear. I'll be going now."

He was alarmed on how she was trying to change the subject. He had enough of it and walked in front of her. "Mikan, what's wrong?" he asked again. "If you won't tell me, I will not let you out of this house. Stop changing the subject and answer me straightly."

She looked up to him, her eyes were gazing at his. "It's just that… I thought this day will be the best but it turned out just another day of rejection," she almost cried when she said that. "I'll see you later, Natsume."

_She heard_, Natsume concluded quickly. He ran to reach Mikan but was too late when he saw her opening the gates of her house. Guilt struck him. What was worse is that he felt bad for saying the truth. True, he cared for her but only in a friendly manner.

"Damn. That's why I hate relationships."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Christmas vacation has finally started and I am enjoying it. BUT…! We're still loaded with school works. How amazing! <strong>

**Anyway, I love the latest GA chapter. I am now officially a Persona fan. **

**Review? Please? I'm begging. LOL. **

**And Merry Christmas everyone! **


	5. Catching Cold

**A/N: **I gained readers. Wow. Or you guys just reviewed because I begged? Well, haha, doesn't matter. Before I forget, I've been receiving reviews mentioning about the genres I put, well, yes, the center will be their friendship but I intend to put a little romance that might turn out good… or not. I just want you guys to feel the emotion and I hope I'm doing it the right way. Here's the chapter.

* * *

><p><strong>Chasing You<strong>

**Chapter Five**

_**Catching Cold**_

She ran as fast as she can to escape Natsume and his explanation which she heard a million times before because as of the moment, she did not want to hear anything that he will say. Probably he would just tell her that he was sorry and he didn't mean to hurt her in an early morning, at that moment when he thought she was asleep. It was all a blur. When she was running, the crying started again. She opened the door of their house, slammed it, and she went straightly to the couch. She grabbed a small pillow and there, she buried her head. It was always like this and truth to be told, she was sick of crying every time she got rejected.

It was a good thing that her mother won't lecture her about sleeping in another house without asking permission from her. It was really favorable that Yuka trusted Natsume when it comes to Mikan. She knew very well how good and decent their friendship was. So when Yuka noticed her daughter came in running, she had a clue on what happened. She tried to look outside through the window and saw Natsume by the gate. Yuka came out and went to talk with Natsume.

"Auntie," Natsume greeted, his voice was rough.

Yuka made a simple smile. "My daughter seems to be in a bad mood. Talking to her would be useless. Let me just clear her mind and then you go talk to her. Is that fine?"

Natsume seemed reluctant because he wanted to explain his side right now but still nodded since his Aunt Yuka had a reason. Mikan wouldn't really listen to him so a short time to clear her mind would really be helpful in his part.

"Just tell her, I'll wait."

"I will," Yuka promised.

Natsume decided to wait in their yard and Yuka went inside their home again. She sat on the free space where her daughter was lying and pulled her up gently to make her sit. She was readying herself to knock some sense out of her daughter's head, a common sense which seemed to leave her daughter's being many years ago. She hated to see her Mikan crying and she had talked to Mikan about it so many times but up to now, she was still unsuccessful in persuading her daughter to let go of Natsume. Mikan would always tell her that she was more than willing to wait for him. Yuka would rarely tease her about where she got that different kind of perseverance.

"Mom…" Mikan groaned, her hair was a mess and her face was something very funny to capture at.

Yuka acted like she was innocent. "What? I'm not going to ask anything."

"Why? Am I that obvious?" Mikan asked and when her mother nodded, she groaned again, "I don't understand. I've been waiting for so long and there are many times that I almost went out of hope but that's just. It never was completely gone. There is always this tiny hope inside me that won't falter. Despite of everything, it never fades."

"That shows how serious you are," Yuka explained and tucked Mikan's stray hair behind her ear.

Mikan tucked her legs to each other and leaned on her mother's shoulders. "Mom, what is the use of this hope if Natsume won't even acknowledge me? I'm afraid that one day, I'll open my eyes, and I wouldn't feel a thing. Because I'm scared to feel the pain, I'm scared to be hurt. I don't want to end like that."

Yuka caressed her daughter's head and said, "You have to understand him also."

Mikan sniffed and frowned. "Right. Who am I kidding? He's courting somebody."

The older Sakura placed a concerned look for her daughter. She was surprised to know that Natsume was courting somebody already. "All I can do is advice you on what I think is more right but in the end your decision will be the key. Do you want to continue this or not?" she asked, hoping her daughter would finally stop.

Mikan was silent for a moment before answering, "I don't know."

Yuka held her daughter's chin up and said, "Then think of a way to know it."

"So hard," Mikan complained, frowning.

Yuka stood up and glanced through the window again, seeing that Natsume was still waiting. This was the very reason why she was letting her daughter do what she wanted. Natsume Hyuuga may be hurting her daughter for a long time now but he never meant it, he did not want it, but he continued to be a good person for her daughter, a very helpful one if she would sum it. She was glad that these two kids found a best friend from each other. They were total opposites and yet they managed to bring out the best in each other.

Deep in her heart, Yuka liked Natsume for Mikan and the Hyuugas were also fine with it. There was a mutual understanding between two families already but they also did not want to force Natsume to Mikan and they were convinced that Mikan would not want that also. Even though they weren't talking about Natsume and Mikan's friendship a lot, it was already clear that if one day these two will be together then they will have no complaints about it.

"He's waiting outside. It'll be better if you will talk to him now," Yuka informed.

The little brunette was surprised to hear that Natsume was waiting outside. She had second thoughts of talking to him but when she saw her mother's expression telling her to go and talk to him, she nodded once and muttered, "Okay."

She stood up and walked toward the door, opening it slightly due to reluctance. This never happened before. She never showed she felt bad on his rejections before except now. It was out of the blue and she was not ready for it, that's why. Before, if ever she will cry, she would do it secretly. Mikan saw Natsume waiting at their yard and when he noticed her, he immediately walked toward her.

"Let's talk," he started.

Mikan could not look directly at him. She gripped what her hand found first and tried to take deep breaths before finally saying, "What's to talk about, Natsume? This is not new to me, to us."

"And you know that I'm not the type who will let you go just like that without having a word," Natsume immediately chirped, "Look, I care for you, okay? Mikan, you are my best friend. And if it is hard for you to accept what I just said, you should know that it's hard for me to say it also. Hurting you is always the last thing I want to do."

Mikan's mouth opened a little because of what she heard. "The last thing you want to do? Natsume, you've been hurting me for the past decade."

"Sorry for being honest then," he said in his defense.

She did not react instantly and when she did, she shook her head and smiled uncomfortably to herself. She could not tell if Natsume said that to show her that she was being unreasonable or just really apologizing. "No, don't be. It's my choice… to go on."

"I told you to stop already," Natsume said, "Because I can't think of any other way that won't hurt you."

He was right. In this kind of situation they were in to, there was no way Natsume wouldn't hurt Mikan in the process because he simply didn't like her that way so stopping would really do the trick. Natsume will be freed and Mikan also be free from the pain. But, that was not how it works for the brunette.

Placing a sad smile, Mikan said, "I think stopping would be much harder than to continue this. At least with this, I am able to tell you what I'm feeling. But if the time will come that you really need to be with Nobara, as long as we're friends, it's fine with me."

"Do you think I'll believe that? I'm not blind for your feelings."

Mikan smiled at him because he was totally missing the point.

"Being friends with you after that, with no changes at all, do you think that's a little thing? Natsume, that's big, that is everything for me because there is no assurance that we can be like this after you and Nobara will be together," she explained.

Natsume knew that. He also knew how hard it will be for them to maintain their friendship if ever he will be with Nobara. "If you strongly think that Nobara and I will be together, why do you keep on doing this?" he asked, waiting for an answer.

"Because I have this stupid hope that's telling me that someday you will love me back," Mikan said.

"You're that confident," Natsume commented.

She nodded and with a firm face she said, "Yes, I am that confident."

"Nothing will change," Natsume said and offered his hand.

Mikan accepted it and said, "Yes, nothing."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe it!" Anna exclaimed, surprising Mikan, "Winter Dance is <em>sooo<em> near."

Mikan's ears perked up when she heard a word in lined with dancing and dates. "For real? Oh my gosh! I gotta ask Natsume. _Pronto_! "

"Are you sure?" Anna asked.

Mikan looked at her friend incredulously. "Anna, what kind of question is that? We never know, he might say yes."

The pink-haired girl let out an awkward giggle. "But… what if he won't?"

Mikan frowned at her friend's words. Anna had always been supportive but surely she was acting unsupportive now. They were talking about Winter Dance and the plainest definition of it was that it's just a dance and in a dance you could ask as many as you want to sway your hips with. It was impossible for Natsume not to accept her offer.

"I'm used to it," the brunette mumbled hoping it didn't reach Anna's ears.

"No, you're not," Anna said, proving that she heard, "You're still crying whenever he brushes you off."

Mikan felt embarrassed as Anna said that and tried to think of a way to defend herself. "That doesn't stop me from believing that he'll say yes this time though. I won't stop believing in him. No matter what."

"Natsume is lucky," Ann pointed out, her voice was little.

"I'll be luckier if he will accept me," Mikan said.

Anna looked like she was about to shed tears for her friend. "Oh, Mikan."

Anna wanted to tell her that she got it all wrong. Natsume was the one who's lucky to have Mikan as his best friend. Natsume was lucky to have someone who was waiting and willing to wait for him for so long. Sometimes, Anna wanted to strangle Mikan and tell her to snap out of it. That Natsume Hyuga would never return the feelings, that Natsume would just continue to hurt her, that she was more than enough for Natsume but he was too blind to see it, and that Natsume Hyuuga was not worth it but Anna never said anything because she, too, was an eyewitness on how beautiful their friendship was. Mikan may not be telling stories about their friendship but they could see it.

"Mikan, goofy boy wants to see you." Hotaru said as she walked in the room.

"Goofy boy?" Mikan asked, clueless.

"Yome," Hotaru answered.

"Oh! Why does he want to see me? Did he tell?" Mikan asked, feeling excited.

"Something about the Publicity Committee," Hotaru replied lazily.

Mikan quickly stood up. "Oh, gotta go. See yah two later."

Anna gave Hotaru a concerned look which Hotaru knew what it meant. The Ice Queen just shook her head. It meant not to interfere anymore. Mikan chose this and because she chose this, she should live with it. Anna was distracted when Nonoko came. She was about to tell Nonoko what just happened and how worried she was for Mikan but she chose not to for the reason that it will not make any sense as of now.

Meanwhile, Mikan was travelling one of the school's hallways to find Koko. She ran past several rooms already before she saw a blonde-haired boy talking to someone. She quickly ran for him and tapped him in the shoulder which made him turned around.

"Koko! Hotaru said you've been looking for me," Mikan cheerfully greeted. "Oh, you're talking to someone."

Koko's orbs widened a little, thinking that his search was over, and smiled at her. "I was but now you're here," he turned to the person he was talking to and told him that they will just talk later and turned to Mikan again, "Judging from the smile on your face, I see you've heard about the Winter Dance."

"Yeah, what about it?" Mikan asked, acting innocent.

Koko started walking and showed Mikan a piece of paper which contained their orders from the President of their organization. "We're making posters. On those posters is the information every student must know in attending the party. We need to make a layout and pass it to our chairman for approval," he explained and waited for Mikan's reply.

Mikan snatched the paper and scanned it before giving back to Koko. "No problem. After school?" she offered.

"Cool," was all Koko said.

Mikan nodded and was satisfied at their agreement. She was about to bid goodbye to him when she remembered something. "Have you seen Natsume?" she asked, hoping Koko would know.

"Are you going to ask him?" Koko immediately asked.

Mikan let out a laugh. "I will."

Koko didn't seem to be amused and said, "Isn't that a bit weird? I mean, it should be the other way around."

Her lips twitched and her eyes narrowed. "Knowing Natsume, nah uh. He will never ask me to the Winter Dance moreover to any dance," she said, making it sound like it was a joke.

Koko's placed his forefinger under his chin. "Ahh, right. Like you told me."

Mikan tried to think if there was something he told Koko related to Winter Dance. "Yes. Like I told you," she just answered.

"What if…."

"What if what?" Mikan asked in curiosity.

Koko made a smirk. "What if some other boy took interest on you, like, wanted to pursue you? Will you give that boy a chance?"

Mikan puffed her cheeks; her lips formed a thin line, and sighed. "No can do. It's like I'm betraying Natsume."

"You're so faithful to him and you're not even together," Koko commented, grinning.

Mikan glared at him for a few seconds and went back to her former expression. "Do you think if he noticed that there's no man but him, will he finally like me?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, Mikan."

"Did I sound pathetic just now?" Mikan asked as she giggled.

"Yes," he shook his head and laughed, "Yes, you did."

The brunette let out a cheerful chuckle, happy for Koko's honesty. "You're a good friend, Koko. I'm glad I can talk to you this way even though you are a boy. Come to think of it, we aren't really close before you asked me some silly questions."

He tapped her on the shoulder. "I'm here for support. Don't you ever forget that."

"I won't."

* * *

><p>"Natsume!" the brunette called out. It didn't matter if her voice was too loud, it was important for her to talk to her best friend now.<p>

The raven-haired boy turned around and halted from walking to wait for Mikan. "What?" he asked in his usual cold voice. He was a little worried that Mikan had not recovered yet from their fight last week but she was approaching him again, meaning she was again about to start.

"I have something to ask," she said with a wide grin, "I hope I'm the first one who'll ask you about this."

He brushed a hand through his hair and asked, "What?"

Her eyebrows perked up many times and encircled her arm around Natsume's and began to stride. "You see… there is this Winter Dance that's going to happen very soon and we all know that dates are a must on AA's dances so I'm here to ask you… if you know, we can go together."

Natsume stopped from walking making her halt also. He removed her grip on his arm. "_You're _asking me?"

Mikan rolled her eyes. "Natsume, just answer."

The announcement that there would be a Winter Dance was just held this morning and in a span of five hours, it was possible that Natsume was still dateless. Mikan had her hopes up. There was a big chance that Natsume would say 'yes' to her because of many reasons and one of them was to make it up to her for rejecting her in an early Saturday morning. She already swallowed her pride and asked a boy to come with her on a school dance, surely the boy won't reject her.

"I can't. I have already a date."

"Oh," it was the only thing that escaped her mouth.

_Oh. _

Natsume saw the pain on Mikan's face again. "I'm not lying," he said in his defense.

Mikan made a few steps backward, her head was still hanging low as she said, "I know. Why would you, right?"

"And I don't want to lead you on," Natsume answered, "I don't want to get your hopes up. Again."

"Of course," Mikan agreed, trying to smile, "Can I ask another favor instead?" she asked, hoping that this time Natsume would not break her heart.

"Depends," he muttered.

"Can you at least reserve a dance for me?"

He looked at her intently but still emotionless. "I guess I'll take it."

"Thanks," she said, trying to smile.

They started walking again and there was an awkward silence engulfing them. Natsume was never the one who opens the topic just to have something to discuss about but he noticed the sudden drop on Mikan's energy. He did not know if he wanted to smack himself for hurting his best friend again or defend himself that he was just doing the right thing.

"I don't get it. Why is everyone so caught up with this lame dance?" he asked, trying to open up a topic.

Mikan was still looking down when she mumbled, "If it is lame, then why are you coming?"

"Because we have to," he reasoned out.

She looked up and noticed the distance between her and Natsume. Usually, she was abnormally close to him but this time, she was not, just in a normal distance. "You can just not go if you want to," she mumbled but enough for him to hear.

Yeah, Natsume had that choice but, "Nobara wants to go."

Mikan stopped her pace. "Oh, so if she's the one asking, you'll go, and if I am the one who'll ask you, you have second thoughts," she said, her voice was high and it was almost clear that she was disappointed and feeling a little angry.

"That's just your imagination," Natsume said and poked her in the forehead.

It seemed like Mikan went back to reality after Natsume said that. Her jealousy was overcoming her and it was definitely not good. She was starting to doubt Natsume and starting to be possessive unreasonably. She was pathetic. She was the one who told Natsume that she will not interfere with his relationship with Nobara but here she was, getting angry because her best friend was going to take the girl he was courting instead of her.

She went all the trouble of gaining her confidence and forgetting about her pride just to ask him in case next year they would not be together. Mikan tried convincing herself that it was worth the shot since Natsume agreed on reserving a dance. But, wasn't that normal? She was his best friend after all. Did she have to ask him to do a friendly thing always when it was supposed to be voluntary or natural? She was suddenly questioning herself on why was she still doing this. There was no point anymore. She was just waiting for the time she planned to free him.

Mikan smiled out of the blue, she acted like she was happy. "I'm just kidding, Natsume, my good friend. Remember when I told you that I won't interfere? It's still on."

"You know, you talk like this is nothing for you," Natsume stated his observation but deep inside, he knew it was not nothing. It was never nothing.

"I'm trying my best to be undistinguished," Mikan said proudly.

Natsume was almost fed up with Mikan's act of pretention and hiding. "Whatever."

* * *

><p>With his feet rested on the chair with only its two legs on the floor, his legs resting on air, and his back connected to the back of his chair, Koko almost fell. Ruka laughed to his heart's content. He enjoyed seeing Koko's hilarious reaction and the way his face folded when he was about to fall. Koko switched to a safer position after that and just sat like a normal person on his chair. He was looking on what Ruka was doing and when he saw it was just a boring History activity, he stopped from looking. Koko glanced at his side and saw Natsume walking with a not-so-happy Mikan and right there, he knew Mikan didn't get the answer she was hoping for.<p>

"What do you think?" Koko asked, his eyes still glued on Mikan and Natsume.

Ruka who was busy scanning his notes and did not even bother to look to Koko asked, "What do I think about what?"

"About Mikan," Koko said and watched the two figures disappear from his sight.

Ruka's tongue stuck out a little, showing his concentration. "What about her?" he asked, uninterested.

Koko's gaze went back to Ruka and shrugged his shoulders. "She's something, you know."

A smile made its way to Ruka's luscious lips as he dropped what he was doing. He was shaking his head and wiggled his forefinger, signaling Koko that he was doomed which the boy did not get. "Oh, oh. Don't tell me that you've gotten interest with Natsume's best friend and future girlfriend?" he asked in a teasing manner.

Koko was surprised on what he heard. "No, no, no, no. what I mean is, she's a different kind of persistent. If I have someone like her for a best friend, someone as sincere and patient as her, I can consider myself one of the luckiest guys on Earth. But, obviously, Natsume and I are different. Up to now, he still keeps sweet Mikan hanging."

Ruka nodded, unconvinced. "Koko, tell me something."

"What?" he asked, dazed.

Ruka completely forgot about his History activity because he also dropped his pen and the reference book he was holding earlier together with the pen. "How did you come up with what you are saying? Are you suddenly friends with Mikan Sakura?" he asked.

Koko stared at him and said an awkward and slow, "No."

"You keep talking about her, bringing up her name always," Ruka was stating his observations, "When you got the news that you are teaming up with her for the posters that will be used for the dance, you looked excited, you acted cool all of a sudden. I don't remember being friends with her and I am pretty sure that you are not her friend also but what's with the sudden change, huh, Koko?"

The boy could not find the right words to answer Ruka's question. "I don't know. I talked to her last week you know and I met a really sincere girl. She's waiting for our pal for ten years. That is not something you can hear every day, you know? Hearing her story, I just want her to be happy with Natsume."

"I may have wanted that for them too," Ruka said.

Koko looked like he just hit the jackpot. "Then let's persuade Natsume."

"Huh?"

"Let's convince him to go on a date with Mikan," Koko suggested.

Ruka gave Koko a skeptical expression implying that what he was saying was impossible but when he remembered the times that Mikan Sakura visited them every lunch, he felt the need to help the poor girl. "A date, huh. That's a great idea. Do you think he'll agree? We know how much Natsume is avoiding that kind of situation to come."

"We have a lot of cards to use to him," Koko said, his smile was evil.

Ruka had no idea what card Koko was talking about. "Like what?" he asked.

"There's many out there," Koko answered and Ruka just dropped his head on the table.

* * *

><p>Mikan saw a dirty blonde-haired boy and cheerfully, she called out his name, "Koko!"<p>

Koko, who was waiting for her outside the classroom, greeted her with a, "Hey, Mikan. You ready?"

She nodded and looked very excited. "I am. It's my very first project in a school club so I promise to do my best."

The blonde-haired boy stared at her and said casually, "Don't worry. It's just a poster."

"Yah, it's just a poster." Mikan agreed.

They entered the Publicity Committee's headquarters. It was not the first time Mikan saw the room designated for the said organization because she had been there during the orientation but it was still a breath of fresh air for her. She grew up joining only in sports-related committees, as of now she was still a member of one sport club, but she wanted to widen her circle of friends, like gain some new acquaintances and later on be good friends.

"Let's start," Koko announced and got his laptop out. "I have my computer here and the posters of the past years for guide and sample."

Mikan took the samples. "Okay. I've been thinking about to replace the usual elements of snow, mistletoe, dancing silhouettes on the poster."

"What do you suggest?"

"I want a boy and girl looking through a telescope to watch a snowy day. And the falling snow aren't snow literally, we can make them like flowers, corsages, boutonnieres, beanie, ear muffs, a sweater, ice cream, cotton candy, whatever we see most during the winter season," she said, hoping it would impress Koko.

"Then we can emphasize these things like a spy glass," he added.

"Yeah, exactly." She said, her hope glimmered because Koko agreed on her suggestion. "Then we can place all the information on the left side of the actual picture," she continued.

Koko seemed to get what she was suggesting. "Great. Then let's find some background on the internet."

He opened some sites and started surfing. There was no theme yet for the dance. The Eventologists, another organization of their school, had not given it to them yet.

"Mikan, have you gone on a date with Natsume?" he asked from nowhere.

The girl was surprised to hear the question. "Not yet. But I hope so, that one day he'll ask me."

"That came no surprise," Koko said, his eyes narrowed when he saw a perfect background for their elements.

"Why are you asking anyways?" Mikan asked.

"No concrete reason at all," Koko excused.

Mikan did not believe him. "Hmmm, concrete reason. I wonder if there is an abstract reason."

"Ha ha," he replied in sarcasm.

Mikan picked out the samples Koko showed her and looked at them. "If I said that to Natsume, he will just roll his beautiful, fiery eyes."

Koko's expression hardened and removed his hands from the computer and instead rested it on the space beside the computer. "Mikan, are you aware that Natsume has flaws?" he asked.

She stared at him, hey eyebrows almost met, her lips formed in a half-smile and half-frown, and she let some second to pass. "Koko, what do you think I am? I'm not blind and I'm not stupid. Natsume is a human so it is already given that he has flaws."

Koko looked oblivious and grinned widely, scratching his head. "But the way you describe him, talk about him. It's like he's perfect."

"It's perfectly normal. You don't go blurt about bad points of a certain person."

"Right. What am I thinking?"

"Can we stop talking about Natsume and continue with this project?"

Koko grinned again and stared at Mikan, unknown to her. "You want to stop talking about him? That's a surprise."

"Will it be surprising if one day I won't talk about him the way I do tonight?" Mikan asked, her gaze was far away. She postponed what she was doing and looked like daydreaming.

"Yes," Koko answered.

Mikan snickered. "That's funny."

"What is?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

"You're more serious than I expected," Koko said, feeling left out with her answer.

She turned her head to the side to face him. "Believe me, I'm not."

"Don't' be so sad about him," Koko advised and it was one of the most meaningful advices he had given in his whole life.

"Yeah. He will still be my best friend after."

"After what?" Koko asked, hoping this time she would give him a definite answer.

"Nothing," she said again.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for all your reviews for the last chapter. I was reading it in an early Saturday morning and I was so touched. I'm really happy that you guys like how I write even though I am not that good, I feel happy for the appreciation. Thank you, thank you, and thank you for the reviews. <strong>

**Happy New Year everyone! **

**Care to leave a 2011 review for this chapter? Hehehe. **


	6. Rummaging Papers

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Six**

_**Rummaging Papers**_

She was a breath of fresh air.

Natsume had never met someone like her before. She was too kind for her own good but had her opinions also and she vocalizes it. She might look fragile, delicate, and quiet but she was more than that and if you would really get to know her, she would surprise you because she had a rich personality. What was better is that behind that kind personality was a beautiful girl. She was a breath of fresh air not only in qualities alone but also in terms of beauty. It was not only her voice that was delicate but also her features. Definitely a head-turner. She was a beauty inside and out and the best part was she did not know it. She had always been humble and innocent but also wise. Her attributes could lead no one to question why Natsume Hyuuga had his eyes on her.

He met her last year during the Arts Festival of Alice Academy, a time wherein people with talented hands and had passion for art exposed their works. They were competitors of a certain category and their competition was tight but in the end Natsume won the title. Nobara approached him, greeting him for his win. She amazed him through her witty remarks and unique point of view. After that, they ended up being always together in club activities. Natsume was one of the most popular guys in Alice Academy because of his looks, intelligence, talent, and background but Nobara did not even acknowledge that. It was never important for her the standing of a person and she made a promise to him that she would be a good companion.

Their little rivalry in the field of art demised and lately, they'd teamed up during competitions. This was how they got to know each other better. They became good friends. Then their friendship led to another thing. It upstaged into the next level. They became comfortable with each other and every member of their club noticed it but Nobara would always say that there was nothing going on between them until Natsume decided to court her. And these all happened without Mikan's knowledge.

Natsume didn't get the chance to tell her or inform her beforehand about Nobara. When he was about to tell her, she already knew. He was worried on what might her reaction would be but she never said anything about it. She never opened that topic and Natsume waited until she would. That never came though and she just started asking about Nobara recently. Natsume wanted to ask her why even though he knew the reason, he still wanted to hear it and make himself realize that Mikan was the greatest friend in the world.

"Hey," she greeted, "What's up?" she asked and disregarded her sketchpad for a bit.

Natsume sat on the chair before her. He took a sneak peek on what she was doing and grinned boyishly at her. "Nothing. Just checking up on you," he said and grabbed the pad. He touched the paper and felt its texture. He admired her draft for a short moment until she talked.

"I don't know you have a lot of free time," Nobara commented, tucking in her hair to her back.

Natsume's grin was still intact. "Don't tease," he said, still looking on her draft.

Nobara snatched her sketchpad gently from him and disregarded it again. She let out a hearty chuckle and brushed his hair, putting her two hands under her chin after caressing his hair. "No, seriously, why are you here?" she asked again.

He shrugged his shoulders and his eyes widened a little, shaking his head in the process. "She's bugging me about the dance and it is all she talks about so I decided to take a break and went here," he said.

The girl nodded once and stared at him. Honestly, she did not like the reason on why he visited her. She was perfectly aware of Mikan's relationship with Natsume but sometimes the brunette's doings was not much to her liking. Sometimes, when she was having a casual conversation with Natsume, almost half of it was about Mikan. Nobara knew her limit and she knew that she had no right to feel jealous because Natsume and Mikan had a longer history than her history with Natsume but she could not help it sometimes. Maybe it was not pure jealousy but she did not know how to classify it. She was envious of Mikan for having such a good guy like Natsume and if she could just turn back time, she would wish that she met him earlier.

Nobara eyed him. "You know what? I'm starting to think I'm just your escape route from her."

Natsume's head were side-up and he just smiled after hearing that. "No, you're not."

"If she's pestering you too much, why don't you say it to her?" she asked.

"I did that too many times," Natsume answered.

"And it did not work," Nobara ended for him with a frown, "Then why don't you stop being friends with her for a while? A little less talking and bonding couldn't hurt," she suggested.

"What?" Natsume asked, feeling a little irritated with her idea.

"You know, even couples need space. It can also be applied to friendship," Nobara continued on explaining, "Have some time away from her. Bond with your other friends. I might sound like the bad guy here but Natsume, give yourself a break. Give yourself some freedom from her."

"That is one thing I will never do. I don't think I can do that," he answered.

Nobara shook her head. "You are wrong. Of course you can do it, you can't just live without her. You are used to her being there for you all the time. That is why the idea of you getting separated with her annoys you," she stated her observations in an unhappy tone.

"Maybe you're right," he agreed.

She had no reaction with his agreement. "I don't mean that in a romantic way though, it's more of a friendly way," she said this for the sake of confirmation that Natsume had still his eyes on her.

"Yah."

Natsume seemed a little lost after that matter. He looked at her intently with an evil grin. He was tapping his closed fist on the table for quite some time now and Nobara knew he was nervous about something. She cannot read his mind so she had no idea on what was it that's making him nervous and it was making her curious.

"What?" she couldn't help to ask.

"I was thinking," Natsume began.

"About what?" Nobara asked with a smile, she had a good feeling about this.

Natsume smiled at her once again and his mouth opened. "To introduce you to my friends," he said.

Nobara's lips instantly crept into a smile. She was surprised on what she heard and she was not expecting that Natsume would say something like that. She could feel that she was blushing and she hid it by burying her hand to her mouth. "Are you crazy? We're not even together yet."

"Yet?" Natsume teased.

"Did I say yet?" she asked, blushing and mentally kicking herself for slipping like that.

The boy nodded repeatedly with a chuckle. "Yes, yes, you did."

She hit him lightly in the head with her sketchpad and stood up. "Come on, Natsume. Don't be such a tease."

He stood up also. "Fine, fine. I know how much you don't want to talk about this."

"Just give me enough time, okay?" Nobara requested.

"I'll be waiting."

Hotaru was passing by in the hallways, searching for her club president to give her the photos during the Science Week that she had taken. It was just an envelope of developed images of the entire celebration. She was about to give the envelop when she saw Natsume on the same room as her editor, who was also their president, but the last time she knew was that Natsume was not part of this class and when she saw Nobara, Hotaru instantly felt the different kind of atmosphere of Natsume Hyuuga and she was not pleased about it.

Plus, she had to talk to Mikan, her idiot friend.

* * *

><p>Mikan was just stacking some files in their room because the teacher asked her to do so when Hotaru came barging in.<p>

"Hello, Hotaru."

Hotaru hated Mikan's expression. The brunette looked like she was not hurting and was fine. She was certain that Mikan knew and yet she still chose to be persistent. "I need you to confirm something," she said, her voice was tough and demanding.

"What? Why is your expression angry?" Mikan asked, not knowing what wrong she did to Hotaru and started questioning herself.

Frankly, Hotaru asked, "Is Hyuuga courting someone?"

"Hotaru," Mikan called out her name with a smile.

Her fist was close and she could feel her teeth gritting. "Just say yes or no," she ordered.

Mikan felt bad for not telling to her friends that Natsume was courting someone already. It seemed like it was gave Hotaru a bigger shock than she expected and she knew very well how against Hotaru was in her lifelong wish to be with her best friend. Telling the truth would do all the work while lying would just be pointless. Mikan took a deep breath and tried to be as calm as possible.

"Yes. He is courting someone."

Hotaru could have hit the board near the cabinet where Mikan was stacking files. "How long is this going?" she asked coldly.

"I don't know. Before this year's classes started," Mikan answered like it was just a normal thing.

Hotaru smirked unhappily and said, "You're an idiot."

Mikan refrained from stacking the papers and faced her friend completely. "Hotaru, what is your problem?" she asked, getting annoyed. "Why are you doing this? Why are you so caught up with this thing going around between Natsume and I?"

"My problem is you. You are so stupid. Get over him, Mikan."

"I told you, I can't."

The raven-haired girl wanted to hit the brunette in the head. She was more than ready to scold her friend. "He's done a very obvious move to make you stop and yet you're continuing it. He likes someone else. You are always crying because of him. You keep us updated with your relationship like it's getting better and better every day when the truth is it's not and now he is courting someone. Listen to me, Mikan, and listen well, stop this. In the end, you'll be the loser."

Mikan rubbed her forehead with her hand. "I am now a loser, Hotaru."

"Then why don't you let go of him?" asked Hotaru.

"I can't," Mikan simply answered.

"Do you know how unreasonable that sounded?" Hotaru asked in disbelief.

Mikan was getting irritated by the repeated questions being thrown to her. "What can I do? I love him."

Stressing the words out, Hotaru said, "But he doesn't love you. Face it."

"I know. But maybe, one day—"

Hotaru interrupted her to prove her point more. "There is no "one day" Mikan. He chose a long time ago. It's about time you respect it. Accept not even for the sake of your love or your friendship, but as a sign of respect to his decision. Give him at least that. Because if you keep on bugging him and one day he'll be fed up, he might push you away."

Fear. It was the feeling that engulfed Mikan when Hotaru said those words. It never crossed her mind that Natsume might push her away one day until now. She was terrified that what just Hotaru blurted could be possible. She could not imagine living her life without Natsume even if they would stay friends for forever. Well, she was getting her strength from him. He was the assurance to her doubts. He was real.

"He would not do that. He promised."

Hotaru sighed in defeat. She really could say no more. "This is all I can do for you. If you need some help, I'll be here."

Her tensed brown orbs calmed down and after the heated conversation, Mikan's expression finally broke into a thankful one. "Thank you, Hotaru. I appreciate it."

"Hey guys! What happened here?" Anna asked, entering the scene.

Mikan shook her head. "Hotaru just told me something. What's up?"

"We're searching for our dates for the dance," Nonoko replied.

"But we can't find anyone yet," Anna said with a frown.

"Don't lose hope," Mikan encouraged, "It's still far from now."

And the conversation was ringing in Mikan's mind like an echo and later on, it died. Her mind was a messed because the chat she had with Hotaru and the consequences she told. Suddenly, she could not focus on anything but she tried her best to hide that she was worrying about something to avoid her friends' interrogation. She looked like she was listening to Anna and Nonoko's stories but in reality, she had no idea what they were saying. She was feeling bad again and Mikan never liked it when she had to be sad about the same thing over and over again.

* * *

><p>"Are you free on Saturday?" Koko asked, interrupting Natsume in his book reading.<p>

Natsume asked, "What's up?"

"We were thinking…" Koko started with a smile.

Natsume leaned his back on his chair and gave a teasing remark. "Oh, really?"

Ruka gave a wide grin and finished for Koko, "That you should go on a date with Mikan."

Natsume's face darkened and mumbled, "You two are crazy."

Koko let out a snicker and gave Natsume a serious-smiling look. "No, we aren't. You are the one who is crazy," he said.

"Excuse me?" Natsume retorted, feeling like jabbing Koko's stomach.

The goofy boy placed a hand under his chin and made an expression similar to a hungry animal that found its prey. "Ten years, right? It's been ten years and you should at least give the girl some credit. Go on a date with her," he said calmly, "One date won't hurt. Please?" he finished pathetically.

"What the hell," Natsume commented. His face was in utter disbelief.

Ruka gave an angelic smile hoping it would crash his best pal's coldness toward the idea. "Just say yes, Natsume. For Mikan?"

For Mikan. It was unexpected that Ruka and Koko were willing to go this far just to help Mikan or to at least ease her pain a little. They were yet to know about Nobara because the only person Natsume informed it to was Mikan so that made Ruka and Koko no idea how tricky and how wrong this request was.

"Did she order you to do this stupid act?" Natsume asked in suspicion.

Ruka was about to blurt that Koko kind of forced him but the goofy boy answered immediately. "No, it's on our own," Koko said.

Natsume looked unpleased. "Since when do you care about her?" he asked.

"Since forever?" Ruka answered, "Do you know how popular your love story is in this school?"

Now that Ruka mentioned it, Natsume remembered a first-year student that approached him during the first school festival for this year and she introduced herself as an aspiring member of the school paper. She started by asking him if he was aware how popular his friendship and love story with Mikan were. It made him certain that the whole school was following their story and was always updated with every happening on their relationship. Which was absurd. Natsume looked at them as a bunch of gossiping freaks that treated them like celebrities.

He ignored the freshman and it was a relief she did not show up again after that.

Koko slammed the table and leaned over a little. "Do you know that every single person in this school that knows your story wants you and Mikan to be together?" he added.

Natsume wanted to answer but he did not want to give in to Koko's stupid antic.

Ruka rested on his seat. "Just ask her out. Even on a friendly date. It will do."

"No way," Natsume replied immediately.

"Why not?" Koko asked, his eyebrows were raised. He could not find any reason why would Natsume disagree to this.

Natsume looked away and mumbled, "It'll just get her hopes up."

Ruka and Koko glanced at each other. Their grins and hyped up energy turned into frowns and less energized aura. This was the first time they had done something like this. Begging a friend to go out with his best friend was not a usual thing to do but for the sake of Mikan, they did it. These two were convinced that Natsume had the slightest and faintest feeling of affection for Mikan. They could be right but then, they did not know everything. They did not know about Nobara.

With a hopeless look, Koko said, "Just go out as friends. Please."

Natsume shook his head. "Why are you two doing this?"

"Because we belong to those people who know your love story that want you to be together," Ruka answered.

"Just agree," Koko trailed.

Natsume did not answer right away. He knew that if he would agree, he should get ready for the consequences. But what were these consequences? There were a lot and the biggest of it was his stable friendship with her. He could just dismiss the idea as easy as a Math problem but in the back of his mind, he was thinking if one day he would regret not accepting his friends' proposition. Because one day, he might not have the chance to go out with Mikan like a normal friend.

"Fine," he grumbled.

"Yes!" the two said in unison and made a high five.

"But don't tell anyone," Natsume quickly added.

"Sure," Ruka said but Koko twitched his eyes.

Koko did not like it that Natsume wanted to keep this a secret.

* * *

><p>It was a few days ago when Ruka and Koko asked him to go on a date with his best friend. He had been thinking about it since they opened up the idea and honestly, Mikan standing in front of him was not helping. He planned to ask her this morning since it's a Saturday but before he had the courage to go in their house, she appeared in his house's front door. It was funny, really, that he needed to gather courage to ask his best friend out. He was ready for whatever consequences this date may bring and his doubts were gone already because of the realization that Mikan was not the kind of person who would let one date change what they used to be.<p>

She was looking through his things again, his old drawings, his old stuff, she was invading his privacy and he was just letting her because he had given her the right. Him looking at her was not helping either. He was supposed to ask her like every normal boy who's going to ask a girl to go out with him but this was not a normal date because everyone knows that he did not like her that way and he was only doing this to get out of his two pal's pestering. There were many things in his hands. He had a collection to finish and he was hoping he would finish the most important painting today.

He could already imagine Mikan's reaction when it comes to her senses that he was asking her out. Now that he had thought of it, the idea that maybe Mikan was waiting for this time to come a long time ago crossed his mind. He started to think how happy his best friend could be if he would do this friendly date. A date with Mikan never crossed his mind once because he knew what this will lead to when it's finished. Nobara also came to his mind. What would she say? If ever she would find out, he was definitely not going to lie. He would straightly tell her that he went out with Mikan.

"When will Tsubasa visit your home again?" Mikan's voice rang into his head.

He frowned at the question. "I don't know and don't care."

Mikan dropped the box he first got when he was a kid on the table and joined him by sitting in the bed. She had a sad look attached on her always-happy face. It had always occurred to him that Mikan had gotten close with his cousin, Tsubasa. It was two years ago when the Andous visited their home. Tsubasa's mom was his aunt. His mother and his aunt wanted to reunite and so they did.

"Come on, Natsume. You are his cousin. At least act one."

"No way," he said, irritated.

Mikan crossed her arms and pouted. "So stubborn," she commented and glanced on the shelf on the corner of the room. She stood up again and went to the shelf. One of its boxes was locked and she had always noticed it. "You always have this locked. What's in here?" she asked.

He glanced at her direction. "Something that doesn't concern you."

"So rude," Mikan commented again.

She stared t him and went silent for a while. She was afraid to ask him the questions floating on her mind right now. Natsume might think it was stupid and he might just laugh at her. Since the day Hotaru said that he might push her away, it did not leave her thoughts. Hotaru already knew that Natsume was courting somebody and she knew that Hotaru would not say such thing if she did not see anything. They were together. Always together. Mikan knew because she could always spot them. As much as it pained her heart, she could not do anything because she had no right. Even after ten years, she gained no right.

"Natsume, when can I meet Nobara?" she asked, hoping for a definite answer.

"Why are you bringing up names randomly?" he asked in annoyance.

She shrugged. "I don't know. A thought entered my mind yesterday."

Natsume smirked. "Hope it's not perverted."

"Look who's talking," Mikan fought back.

"What thought?" Natsume asked.

Mikan let out a wry laugh. Nervousness was evident in her features. She felt like choking but stopped herself from being emotional. Her actions worried Natsume. "The idea of you pushing me away," she answered finally.

Natsume looked unsurprised. "Do you think you'll let that happen?" he asked in humor.

"Maybe," Mikan choked out, "We'll never know when it will come handy."

The raven-haired boy looked serious all of a sudden. He did not like what he heard.

"What are you talking about?" he asked in a deadly manner.

"I'm scared," Mikan said.

Natsume threw the book he was just reading and stood up. "Of what? Damn it, what is with you?" he asked and stared at her hardly.

"That you will leave me," Mikan said and let out a tear.

Natsume's world had stopped. It was the craziest thing he had heard in his whole life. He had no reason to leave her. He himself might not survive without her. He wondered where she got the idea, if someone told her about it, or something happened to cause her to think about that. But he did not ask anymore because that was not the case, he must give Mikan assurance, and that what was important. Now that it had come to this, Natsume could not help but realize that Mikan was still vulnerable despite the struggles she had faced and the strength she was exposing.

"Don't be. Coz that will never happen. I will never push you away or forget you or whatever thought that entered your brain," he told her. He assured her. He said to her with full honesty.

She sniffed. "Do you promise?" she asked, teary-eyed.

"I do," Natsume said like it was the ultimate vow.

Mikan believed in him. "Okay."

Natsume hid his lips for a moment before suggesting, "Hey, do you wanna go somewhere? Just to clear your thoughts."

Mikan stopped sniffing and looked at him. "Are you asking me out?" she asked in disbelief and this question was meant to tease him.

"No," he answered. He did not know why it sounded like a lie when in fact he was fully aware that this was just a friendly hang out.

Mikan looked unconvinced. "Oh? Then what are you proposing?"

He held her hands and said, "We are going somewhere quiet so you can drop your awful thoughts."

"Sure," Mikan just said.

"Then let's go," he said and dragged her up.

She stopped from walking and asked, "As in now?"

"Let's not waste any time and it's still early."

Mikan was surprised at Natsume's actions but she had a good feeling about this. "If you say so."

The brunette was almost sure that Natsume planned this. They travelled by his car which was his mother's gift when he turned sixteen. She just noticed that Natsume was in his semi-formal attire while she looked like a girl going to a park.

"We're eating?" Mikan asked as the view of a restaurant greeted her.

"I bet you're hungry," Natsume answered.

He was still holding her hand but she let go, having second thoughts on entering the restaurant. "Yes, but this is a really nice place. I could have worn something nice too."

Natsume looked at her from head to toe. "That's not really necessary."

Mikan was still having the feeling of underdressed the moment they stepped in on the restaurant. The place was filled with young adult couples and the atmosphere was romantic. She did not want to ask but she needed, somehow. What in the world has gotten to Natsume? Was he playing a joke on her or he was actually serious?

"Under Hyuuga," he informed the waiter and quickly they led them into a table.

When he said that, Mikan was certain that Natsume planned all of this. "You made reservations? Okay, what is happening?" she asked, demanding.

He looked at her. "Just shut up."

She let that slide. "As long as it's your treat."

This was not a date, Mikan tried convincing herself. If it was, there should be flowers, chocolates, and a proper asking of permission to go out with him. They were just in a nice place having dinner. There were music and people dressed in their most beautiful clothing but these had nothing to do to the factors of date. She did not know if she should be delighted or caught up with everything. There was a part of her feeling a little disappointed because if Natsume was really sincere on asking her out, he should have told Yuka and her beforehand.

They acted normal all evening. Natsume had not been expecting the normalcy of everything. He thought it was going to be an awkward and quiet dinner but Mikan continued to be the talkative girl she was. They talked about their upcoming Movie Night, his future exhibit, the Publicity Committee, his upcoming birthday, Yuka, Kaoru, Aoi, Ioran, Alice Academy, and everything they thought of.

After their dinner, Natsume led her in a park and since it was already evening, there were barely people. He asked he to sit on the bench, with one leg dangling, the other one connected on her chest. He told her to look at the sky and encircle her arms on the leg close to her chest.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"Be still," he ordered and ignored her question.

Mikan followed what he said but still continued on asking. "Did someone ask you to do this?"

"Don't move."

She released her arms from being encircled and asked, losing patience, "Can you answer my questions please?"

Natsume equaled the emotion in her voice. "Stop moving your legs."

"Answer my questions first," she teased by wiggling her leg and he glared at her, "Okay. I'll stop."

"Do you really want to know the answer?" he asked, still focused on his pad.

Mikan hesitated but showed her persistence. "Why wouldn't I?"

Natsume looked up to her and said with his from voice, "You might not like it."

She bit her lip and smiled. "Koko forced you into this."

He stared at her before drawling out, "You knew."

"He sorta gave me a clue," Mikan replied and stared at him again. "How did he make you agree?" she asked. She was genuinely interested not because that she already knew it was impossible for Natsume to ask her out but for the fact that her best friend actually listened and agreed to somebody's request.

"They were pestering me. Him and Ruka. Since when did you have them as your followers?" he asked.

"I guess I'll have to thank them," Mikan said in sincerity.

Natsume started using his eraser and rubbed it on the pad while saying, "I was not really forced. It's kind of nice to go out with you once for a while."

"Are you done?" Mikan asked, trying to hide the fact that she was touched by what he said.

"Yes."

"Let me see it," Mikan said and quickly sat beside Natsume. "Wow. You're so good. You got my face accurately," she praised as she ran her hand on the paper.

He shook his head and pointed at something. "Not really. Look closer."

"Huh?" she asked, clueless.

"Your lips are really hard to draw," Natsume said.

"Why? Is something wrong with my lips?" she asked, trying to hide her blush and began to become conscious about her lips making her touch it.

Natsume shook his head because his reason was the total opposite of what Mikan just said out loud. "They're too perfect. Perfect smile, perfect frown, perfect grin, perfect pout."

"You're complimenting me," Mikan said with a smile, refusing to believe the nice words she heard.

He brushed her hair. "It's too perfect that I can't draw it any better."

"You're so sappy," Mikan pointed out.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"I can't wait for your exhibit," Mikan said after a second of silence.

He turned his head to her and smiled. "Well, you should. It's still far."

She crossed her legs and narrowed her eyes with a dreamy smile. "The date's on your birthday, right? Perfect. Then we can have an after-party."

"Get excited somewhere else," Natsume said.

Mikan giggled. "Can't help it."

* * *

><p>"Where have you been?" Yuka asked, ready to lecture her daughter for coming home late. "I need to talk to you." Her voice was not on its usual kind tone but the caring was still evident.<p>

"Dinner with Natsume," Mikan answered, not even noticing her mother's potential of yelling at her. She was just too happy.

Yuka seemed to calm down a bit. "He took you to dinner? What, were you on a date?" she asked, menacingly.

The brunette shrugged. "No. It's just a friendly outing."

"But I'm glad he took you out," Yuka said sincerely.

Mikan gave a humble smile. "Me too, Mom. He's really a nice friend, right?"

"Yah, he is."

Mikan was about to head upstairs when she stopped and turned once again to her mother. "Oh, what is the thing you want to talk about?" she asked.

Yuka stared at her daughter. She did not want to ruin her daughter's beautiful night. "It can wait. Just rest for now."

"Okay. Good night, Mom."

Yuka broke out a weary smile. "Good night."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Just So You Know by . LOL. I'm saying this randomly. Well, because it's mainly the inspiration for this story. Thank you for your reviews. I'm happy that somehow you could share your stories about love and life in your reviews. Another, I want to add the old clichés that I used to read every time I'm reading a GA fic three years ago. So, you can expect them but might not notice them. <strong>

**Add to that, oh God, why do I like writing a jerk Natsume so much when he is so charming, careful, and adorable in the manga? I just realized that he is engaged with Mikan technically and so that left me with what…no! I'll break their engagement. Hehehe. **

**Review if you love The Hunger Games Trilogy. :D Nah. Just do whatever you want. :) **


	7. A Period and a Question Mark

**A/N: **I always have a thing for number seven. Maybe because the grandest birthday celebration I had, so far, was my seventh birthday. It became the grandest for me because of the two big balloons I had. Memories, memories.

* * *

><p><strong>Chasing You<strong>

**Chapter Seven**

_**A Period and a Question Mark**_

_I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be__  
><em>_I can't do everything but I'd do anything for you__  
><em>_….all I can do is to be in love with you_

Mikan came down from the stairs, running, rushing, because if she would not leave the house now, she could be late. It was a nice, sunny day and the rays of the sun passed through their windows which illuminated the house. Mikan snatched a slice of bread and chewed it rapidly. She did not even bother to take a seat and just chose to stand up. She gulped as she drank her juice, watching the clock on their dining room, she looked like racing with it. Yuka walked in front of her, just in time to greet her due to her finished bread.

"Good morning, Mom."

Yuka smiled at her daughter's greeting and stated her observations. "Good morning. You look happy."

Mikan was thankful for many things today. She just had the best day yesterday and today was going to be another historic day for her. She would make the best out of it. "Why wouldn't I? Everything is just so perfect," she exclaimed, tilting her neck slightly upward and giggled after.

Yuka sat down and asked Mikan to do the same. "Mikan, dear, what will you feel if a really important person in your life who had been gone for long suddenly comes back?" Yuka asked and it was almost the same tone she used last night.

"I'd be happy?" Mikan answered without a clue and just said it for the sake of giving an answer.

Yuka took the answer as a good sign. "What do you think about meeting your father?"

Mikan's bright face became expressionless. "What? He's alive?" she asked back while getting another piece of bread, her tone was flat.

Yuka regretted saying it on an early morning. She destroyed her daughter's happy mood but she had no choice but to continue now. "He wants to see you," she informed.

Mikan wanted to laugh at her mother's words. It had always been a big joke for her. The idea of her father wanting to see her must be a big lie because he had never expressed any want or need to see his own daughter. For her father, she was an obligation, a product of 'wrong timing'. She wanted to humor her mother but basing on her look, Yuka was definitely serious. Her happy mood changed and she hated her mother's timing to inform her about this topic which was stupid for her. Yuka could be persistent about this, she predicted, but she would be firmer with her answer composed of only two letters.

"No. I don't want to see him," Mikan answered.

Yuka dropped her utensils. "Don't be too cold on him, Mikan. He's still your father."

"He may be my biological father but he is never a real father to me," Mikan spat, standing up and ready to retreat for two reasons: one, she hated the subject and second, she was going to be late.

Yuka followed her, getting agitated with her daughter's actions. "That's why he wants to see you. So he can be the father you've always wanted."

Mikan turned to her, her face was fierce. "I'm not asking for him. He can go back to wherever he came and not bother us anymore."

"Give him a chance," Yuka asked of her.

She shook her head and said, "No, Mom. Never. "

"Just talk to him."

Mikan gritted her teeth, hating her mother's pushiness about this. "No! I will never talk to the man who abandoned us and just showered our whole life with just his money. His money can go to hell! When I, we, needed him, where was he? What happened to his promises? His promise that he will always be there. That just went to ashes. What did he say for you to agree with this? Mom, you have to understand me also. I don't think I can afford to see him."

Yuka was caught off guard by her daughter's outburst. She did not know that her daughter hated her father this much. If she just saw this before, she could have done something to ease Mikan's hate. "Okay. I understand. But I'm not giving the issue up."

The brunette gave her a blank look and slung her bag on her shoulder. "Then you are just hoping for nothing, Mom."

"Don't talk to me that way," Yuka yelled as her daughter was walking out.

Mikan turned to her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for sounding so disrespectful but my day started so good and now it's ruined because of your ex-husband."

Yuka gasped for air, tears were slightly spilling from her eyes, and automatically sat down on the couch beside her. She never thought it was this broken.

* * *

><p>"You're busy?" Mikan asked, leaning down to level Natsume's head.<p>

Natsume did not even bother to turn and just answered, "Yes."

She ignored his answer which she knew was just a lie and sat beside him. She stared at him for a couple of seconds, deciding in her mind that Natsume was definitely the best person to confide about her father. He would know what to do and he was always the first person she tells her problems to.

"My father wants to see me," she said without any tone of hate or anger. Mikan knew she should be calm in dealing with her father.

Natsume finally paid attention at her. "And you don't want to see him," he already concluded.

Mikan bit her lip and her fingers were playing with each other. "Am I being selfish? I even yelled at my mother," she asked and added with a groan, "I'm despicable."

"Are you sure I'm the right person to ask?" Natsume asked because he was also having a hard time dealing with his own old man.

Mikan sighed and relaxed her back on her chair. There weren't a lot of students at the cafeteria because lunch break was just going to start an hour and a half from now so talking about this personal thing was easy. "Why do fathers are hard to deal with?" she asked, shaking her head and groaning.

"We're just unlucky."

She sat up straight and pouted her lips. "But I won't call you unlucky because, hey, at least he became a good father to you and to Aoi. He is still with you and I am sure that he is trying hard to bring back your family the way it was," she said encouragingly.

Natsume wanted to laugh at her. She hated her father so much but she came to like his whom also done nothing but bad things to them. Mikan should start seeing the goodness in her own dad and not on anyone's daddy. She just came here but Natsume already observed the different expressions she made. She frowned, pouted, looked baffle, guilty, and tactless. This was one of those times when Natsume realized the differences between them and the impossibility for them to become the best of friends but that difference made them a perfect match for each other as friends. He wanted to tell her not to go and see her dad and he knew she would follow his advice but at the same time, he wanted the best for her. As for the moment, it was best for her to see her father. She was longing for him, he knew. He knew because he experienced and experiencing the feeling.

When she came behind him, he thought she was just going to be annoying but he was completely wrong. Mikan was the type of person whom you could not tell if currently experiencing a problem or not because she could hid it perfectly with her cheerful attitude and happy smile but it turned out to be that she was just like any other person. She, too, had problems. Over the years, Natsume could already tell if his best friend was in a current crisis or not. He was bad at opening topics and asking if a person was fine because it had never been one of his best assets but he would be willing to know and would be willing to ask if it was Mikan.

"You have so much faith on my father," he commented.

She did. She wondered why she believed so much that Natsume's dad will change for the better. "He's kind to me," she reasoned out, knowing to herself that it was not the only reason. Natsume's father had always been rooting for her.

Natsume gave her a dark look. "Surprisingly."

"Hey! You're together. I knew it."

It was Koko who said it. Mikan and Natsume turned to see both Ruka and Koko making their way toward them. The brunette wanted to smack Koko's head for interrupting a conversation that would soon be a serious one. She hadn't yet asked for an advice. The two boys had their trays with them and Mikan forgot that it was lunch time and these two always had their lunches with Natsume, as cheesy as it sounded.

Mikan then said cheekily, "No need to be so hyped up, Koko. We are usually like this."

Koko gave a smile which meant that there was more. "Ahh, yes. Yes."

"What are you doing here, Mikan?" asked Ruka.

She scratched her nose and said between her teeth, "I'm here to thank you two."

"For what?" Ruka asked innocently, afraid that Mikan knew about the origin of the date.

Mikan decided to play with the two but realized she could not do it. In fact, she was sincere when she stated that she wanted to thank them. "For forcing Natsume to go out with me."

The two just let out a nervous laugh.

Mikan stood up, still disappointed at the interrupted conversation with Natsume who remained silent. "While you two are laughing, I should go." Then she was ready to go.

Koko waved at her. "See you, Mikan. Always visit every lunch break."

"Sure thing," Mikan replied.

When she was completely gone, the two concurrently leaned their arms on the table and willing for Natsume to spill everything. "So, you took her out. Well, that's fast. I'd predicted you will ask her out sometime this week," Ruka said.

Natsume could not believe how his two best pals wanted to gossip about his friendly outing with Mikan. Usually, the girls did this. "As if there would be any difference," he answered simply. There was no need to elaborate.

"Forget that. How was it?" Koko asked, dismissing the urgency of the date.

"It was normal," Natsume gave them.

Ruka was disappointed on how ugly the explanation was but this was Natsume they were talking about. What could they expect? "And that explains everything?" Ruka asked in disbelief.

"Pretty much."

"When's the next date?" Koko asked, with his excited tone again. Clearly, between Koko and Ruka, the first one was more excited about this.

Natsume felt sissy spilling this out with his pals. "There won't be."

"What?" asked Koko.

"You should know why I only did that."

Koko nodded, feeling a little protective of Mikan. "Yes, because you care for her."

Natsume was getting irritated with the interrogation. "I care for her, okay? I just don't want to make things complicated."

"Mikan won't let that happen," Ruka said.

"Look, it's not just about Mikan."

"What do you mean?" Ruka asked, slightly surprised that Natsume had other reasons. He had a theory that Natsume did not want to ruin his friendship with the brunette or he was scared to tell her that he already felt the same or it could be that Natsume was afraid that he was falling for her too and he did not plan it to happen.

"Nobara."

"Your co-artist?" Koko asked for confirmation.

Natsume felt a little awkward with the way how his two friends name the girl he liked. "She's… she's special, okay?"

Special. Ruka and Koko didn't know what the word special meant for their friend Natsume. If Mikan was not special enough, they could not imagine how far Natsume would go for this Nobara. It shocked them both that Natsume was courting someone. Courting, yeah, that was definitely the word. Natsume agreed to take Mikan to a date despite of this girl called Nobara. Suddenly, the two boys were confused. Their eyebrows met in confusion. They wanted to question Natsume why. Why was he doing this? Why was he letting Mikan believe in false hopes?

The date must really had occur only because of their persistence and not because Natsume wanted it for himself. All the romantic-sounding words he had given Mikan was just his comment as a best friend. His initial plan to dedicate to Mikan his most important piece on his upcoming exhibit was just a sign of thanks to her as a friend, for all the ten years they'd been together as the closest of friends. Natsume's effort of helping Mikan whenever, whatever, and wherever was just his normal reaction for her when she needed help. All the years they had been friends with the raven-haired guy, they could not believe that they had the wrong perception of things. They thought Natsume was just in denial but now they were sure and they were wrong.

Natsume never liked Mikan.

This made Koko want to punch himself in the face for being so pathetic. He was the culprit of the date. He insisted it because he thought it would lead Natsume and Mikan's friendship into a whole new level which meant hugs and kisses but it did not happen because, ridiculously, there was no affection from both parties in the first place, only one. He gave Mikan a false hope, no, Mikan didn't seem like she got the wrong encouragement which made Koko almost punch himself again. Mikan knew all along. About Nobara and everything.

Koko tried to find the words. "Hearing you admit that to us in the middle of lunch break makes her really special, huh."

Ruka gaped, losing trail of what was happening. "What are you saying? What about Mikan? Does she know about this Nobara?"

"She's the first one who knew," Natsume admitted.

"Shit," Ruka mumbled.

Koko looked unhappy and said, "This could be a big problem."

Natsume eyed him, suspecting something was off with his words every time Mikan was on the losing side. "Don't talk to me as if I don't know what to do."

Ruka patted him in the shoulder, munching his food. "Just don't end up choosing the wrong things, pal. Regret is a bad feeling."

"I know."

"You absolutely should," Koko said and dealt with his food.

* * *

><p>"Don't you just hate it?" asked Yura Otonashi, a girl with same hair as Nobara and was a good friend of hers. Yura just saw Mikan crossed the hallway.<p>

Nobara had no clue what her friend was saying and asked, "Hate what?"

Yura stated it in a matter-of-fact tone. "Your potential boyfriend and his best friend have matching items. Always."

"Their relationship is like that before even Natsume met me," Nobara explained, not knowing where Mikan as a topic came. She really did not want to talk about the brunette because it made her look like she was the bad guy.

Yura smirked at her. "That sucks, right? The best friend seems to be special to him."

Nobara did not know what was Yura trying to say exactly but she knew where this will lead. This time, Nobara did not want to sound like the bad guy but again could not help it. "Yes, she is. But I'm not exactly jealous. I'm the one Natsume likes. She may be the best friend but she's also the girl who can't get him." She hated saying it after because it made her looked like she was too proud of herself.

Yura didn't seem to notice the arrogance and just continued. "You may be correct but I cannot exactly believe how your boy did not come to the point of returning the feelings of his best friend. I mean, wasn't that supposed to happen in the first place?"

It made Nobara think. She should ask Natsume the reason why. Nobara was aware on how popular Natsume and Mikan were because of their one of a kind friendship that was on the verge of being romantic. She was a witness on how other students of Alice Academy were rooting for them. She didn't really care about them because she had better things to do and thought it was such a shallow thing to waste her attention for but it all changed when she met Natsume and gotten to know him deeper. No wonder Mikan liked her. But she never wondered why Natsume didn't come to like his best friend back when it was the way it's supposed to.

Before she doubted Natsume, she already answered the question. "It's simple. He does not like her. Now, let's end this talk before I say something unnecessary. "

"You know what's more interesting?" Yura had not stopped, her tone was inviting.

"What?"

Yura leaned closer and looked around. After that she whispered the words, "Didn't you notice it? Boys wouldn't, _not_ cannot, like Mikan."

"Is that even important?" Nobara asked, also in a quiet voice.

"No one takes interesting on her because they're afraid that she might become obsess to them," Yura said with a smirk on her face, returning back to her original position.

Nobara just thought about what Yura said and found it somehow true. She heard some of these comments before but never really paid attention to them. They must had had reached that conclusion of the possibility of Mikan Sakura being obsessed to a guy with how determined she was to win Natsume's heart.

"Sakura is not like that," Nobara defended.

Yura's eyebrows raised and gave a mischievous smile. "How sure are you?"

"Natsume's telling me," Noabra quickly answered.

Yura shrugged. "That's different. He's the friend."

Yura's words really made Nobara interested all of a sudden. She started formulating theories like if maybe someone will have the courage to court or take interest in Mikan, the brunette will finally love the person that loved her and to stop bothering the person that didn't want her. It could be possible because all Mikan needed was someone to divert her attention to. Though the real question was, why did no one made a move? Mikan was a beautiful, kind, and admirable girl. She was might not be the biggest catch but she was one of those catches. All these years, with a big question mark, why she was still not gaining admirers? Was it really because of what Yura said that boys were afraid because she might get obsess with them and follow them for ten years also? If that was the reason, then it was completely stupid.

Maybe not stupid. Maybe there was another valid reason. A reason why no one took an interest on Mikan.

Nobara smiled at her friend. "Look, let's stop talking about this. I'm not the type of person who judges people and as far as I know, Sakura is a nice person."

"Okay," Yura agreed, her looks was expressing she was correct.

"He's still Natsume's closest friend, you know." Nobara reminded her friend.

"And your biggest rival," Yura pointed out.

Yura must be trying to test her patience about Mikan. Her friend must be thinking that she thought Mikan as a hindrance, as a problem, and as her friend worded it out, a rival. Did she ever consider Mikan as a rival? No. Because she always thought that no matter how strong her love for Natsume was, it was just not Natsume wanted. And now, considering the thoughts she had just before, she was starting to question herself and even Natsume. Based on Natsume, the brunette was not hard to like. Could she be right? That she was just an escape route from Mikan? Why did no one take interest on her and tried their lucks?

"I repeat, he does not like her." Nobara just said, not believing her words also.

"If you say so."

More like, no one took interest on her because everybody knew she was Natsume's.

* * *

><p>Mr. Narumi stood in the platform with a bright smile, like he was having the best day of her life. His class knew why. Because their lesson for today was their teacher's favorite topic. The blonde-haired teacher wrote two words on the board which received a groan from half of the class, most especially boys, and a light squeal from the girls. Narumi scanned the class and went down from the platform and went for the aisle. English had always been the lesser stressful subject for every student because they just read stories, study grammar, talk or make a speech if needed, express themselves through the art of writing, analyze some illustrations, debate on a classic writer's idea, and many more enjoyable and knowledgeable things.<p>

It had been a natural fact that English was more likeable than Math. Some kids who did not excel in Math much or at all, excel in Literature or generally, English. But also, not all students excel in English because it also had its hard points like the confusing verbs, tongue-tying pronunciations, subterranean meaning of word and statements, and out of this world spelling of words. As Mr. Narumi travelled in the room, he stopped just beside the mot studious kid in class, Yuu Tobita.

Yuu Tobita was a smart kid and the president of the Academic Committee. He had always been preaching when it comes to learning, studying, and reading. He was in the top of his class because of his determination to be on top. He was kind and approachable, also, easy to be with. Yuu had always been humble about his status, always saying that if Natsume was not a little lazy on studying, he would completely beat him off. Yuu had always known his limits but shared the things he knows. Yuu heard Mr. Narumi talked beside him, finally. He did not know how long his teacher would keep up the over-cheerful smile on his face.

"Attraction. Love. Two different things that are mixed up by people who are confused on which is which. Confused because they are afraid of the consequences, of the predicted result. We thought we like the person because, you know, he or she is a beautiful person but in reality and deep inside, there is so much more than that. Meanwhile, love, is not a sudden feeling. It's not something that we can be sure of the first time. It takes some growing, nourishing, caring like a delicate flower. Right, Natsume?

In the end, when it came to topics like this, Narumi's favorite student to question was Natsume.

"Why are you asking me?" Natsume asked, glaring at his teacher, knowing the very reason why he was asking him this.

Narumi smiled and retorted back politely. "Have I no right?"

Natsume looked irritated and said, "I'll pass answering the stupid question."

"Can you tell if it is just plain attraction or real love?" Narumi still insisted.

Natsume stood up, his expression was not pleased. He knew that his teacher would not stop bothering him and would only ask his opinion throughout the class. In order to avoid further heated conversation, he just stood up and answered the questions he coined as stupid. "Any person can tell the difference because as you said, both are feelings. If it is something that we feel, we can eventually know what it is. Attraction starts physically. Our first impressions are always based on what we see first and in that case, the physical aspect. If frowning, maybe the person is a snob. If attractive, maybe someone you could stupidly like. It can be the start of loving someone, attraction, I mean. But also, attraction will always be a superficial feeling. While love, love is an unexplainable emotion. "

"You say, unexplainable, in what way?" Narumi was trying to extract more opinion from his favorite student when it comes to topic like this.

"Are you playing with me?" Natsume snapped.

"Just answer the question."

Natsume tried not to answer but when he saw the expectant look of his teacher and his classmates, he continued talking. "Love… is when you are willing to wait for that person no matter how long. It is when you always wait for the person every afternoon, when the school ends, to take that person home. Love is the kind of feeling that should be confessed and not stay as hidden because if you will let it be unknown, you will regret it for life. Love is when you are scared to lose that person because you already think of that person as your half. Love is when you try to console the person even if it pushes you away. Love is when your inspiration and motivation comes from that person. Like she's the only thing completing your messed-up life because she has so much faith in you."

Natsume stopped, totally aware that he was referring Mikan. He glanced at Narumi who looked very pleased with his answer and Natsume knew that Narumi was also thinking that it was Mikan he was talking about. Natsume clenched his fist, lecturing himself mentally for losing it. The words just came out from his mouth without thinking. He sat down, feeling a little weak and lame. When he noticed that the whole class was still looking at him, he glared at them and instantly they broke their gazes on him. He gritted his teeth, hating himself for perplexing things this way.

"It seems like Natsume really knows what he is saying. So there you have it class. The difference between attraction and love in the Natsume Hyuuga's opinion," Mr. Narumi teased, trying to lighten up the suddenly tensed atmosphere in the room.

The class already ended. Natsume brought up his bad and made his way to the door. "I'm glad for your participation today," he heard Narumi said.

"Whatever."

"Say hi to Mikan for me," Narumi called out.

Natsume turned to him and spat, "Why don't you do that yourself?"

The English teacher stood, ready to leave the room, too. "You are the best friend. You can do it of all people."

"Don't test my patience," the crimson-eyed guy warned.

Mr. Narumi broke into a smile and shook his head. "I'm not. I'm just in favor of Mikan. Me and Serina."

Natsume seemed to relax a bit. "No surprise. You two are just like everybody else."

Narumi brought up his shoulders and said, "Of course. She is one of my nicest students and a friend. Why would not I root for her?"

"I had enough of this. I'm leaving."

Behind Natsume, he could feel the satisfaction Mr. Narumi was feeling because he sort of confessed his feelings for his best friend today which was a little distorted and unsure because as far as he knew, he had no feelings for her. He did not want to think about it yet. He did not want to break his head for it as of now. The only thing Natsume was sure of was that Mikan is waiting for him outside with her bright smile and loud voice.

* * *

><p>Every person had a favorite place. For Mikan, it was the riverbank a few blocks from their house. She was just sitting there, knees on chest, feeling the air, watching the sky and the sunset, her bag was on her side, she could hear clearly the flow of water not far from where she was sitting, and she was thinking. She glanced at her wristwatch and she should be walking towards home by now but she just wanted to clear her mind. She was dealing on whether to meet her father or not. So far, she had received no advices. She did not want to go home without any decision. She had to come up with something now.<p>

"Figures."

Mikan glanced behind, her head followed the trail of the speaker. "You're here," she said.

Natsume sat beside her. "No one was waiting for me at the gate or shouting at my back to wait for her this afternoon," he said, his disappointment was inevitable.

"I sound annoying," Mikan commented.

Natsume smiled at her. "Indeed."

She laughed shortly and become silent again.

He stared at her and saw how gloomy she was. She must be worrying about her father all day and he did not do anything to ease her worries a little, unlike her, who would do something right away to clear his worries. "You should meet up with him," he said.

Mikan seemed lost. "What?"

"To your suitor," Natsume teased.

The brunette was surprised. "Huh?"

"Kidding. I mean your dad."

Mikan stretched her legs and stared at the river, finally noticing how clean it was. "As a good and understanding daughter, yeah, I should but thinking back how he left us, I'm starting to think if he is even worth it."

"No shit but everyone's worth it," Natsume answered.

"Even if the person has extremely done something bad to you that the person almost left you with nothing, no hope, no trust, as in absolutely nothing?" she asked.

Natsume nodded. "Yes."

"Why?" Mikan asked in disbelief.

Natsume lay on the grass. He just wanted to rest his back for a while, feeling tired for the day. He did not want to admit it loudly but he was upset not to see Mikan waiting for him. It was funny because it was the only thing he was sure of at that moment and it was not present. He answered her question by saying, "Coz he wanted to be back. To you and to your mother's life. Realization finally hits him and the good thing is that he's doing something and not let that realization be rotten. From my point of view, he deserves a chance. He's worth it, Mikan."

"Would you give your father another chance?" Mikan asked.

He tried to nod his head but found it hard since he was lying on the grass. "Why not. But so far, he's not showing any sign of change so it's better for me to hate him."

She looked at him with a sympathizing expression. "You don't mean that. You are close to him."

"I was. And let's not make this about me. It's your father we are talking about," he reminded.

Mikan lowered her head. "I'm scared to trust him but I'm more scared to face him. We are not seeing each other for almost my entire life and that sucks because I know he's just somewhere. He's not even gone, he just left us wounded. I'm scared on how I will handle him, what he will say to me, what I will say to him, what my mother will say. I don't even have any idea on what to do."

Natsume sensed the desperation in her voice. "You'll figure it out when you're there. Trust me."

"I do trust you," she said.

Natsume sat up and patted her head again. Unknown to him, she loved it when he does that. "Good," he said.

"Is it weird? That I am this close to you and we are just friends?" she asked for the purpose of humor.

He smirked at her, trying to join her in her goal. "Why? We've done this a lot of times before."

She hit him in the shoulder. "We were children and I just had a crush on you back then. I don't love you yet but now I do."

"Just… shut up."

Mikan giggled and said, "Thank you, Natsume."

"Welcome, dumb little girl."

"We should go home now," she proposed and stood up.

"Yeah, we should."

They started walking. Mikan was loud as ever, pointing at things like she had seen it for the first time. Natsume was glad that he somehow helped in making her feel better. She must be waiting for an advice all day. He was glad he found her. The English class he just had almost went out of his mind. He heard Mikan laughed and he had no idea, it was then he realized that he was not paying attention to what she was saying and just focused on what must be Mikan feeling all day.

"When can I meet Nobara?"

"Soon," he answered, back to paying attention to her.

"Are you planning to introduce her to us as the girl you like or your girlfriend?" she asked more.

"The second option is better," Natsume said with a smile. "It's weird talking to you about this."

"Are you… a couple now?" Mikan asked, slightly afraid to ask the question.

"Not yet."

"If you like her that much, I'm guessing she's a really beautiful person."

It was really strange to be talking about Nobara now because since English, he had not thought about her. Besides, whenever they talk about Nobara, they would just end up fighting. He hated quarreling with her. It was a heavy feeling, heavier than others. But if there was one person he was comfortable talking about his personal life with, it would be Mikan. That just made their relationship more complicated than ever. He never told her but he was a witness on how a love that started with really good friendship ended horribly. Maybe that was the very first reason why he did not want to return her feelings.

"You can stop asking about her, you know, if it's hurting you."

Mikan shook her head, saying that she wanted to know to be updated with his life. "I just want you to be happy. I can be happy for you."

Natsume's jaw tensed. "I don't want you to be happy for me. What I want is for you to be happy for yourself."

"Then be mine," Mikan blurted out, seriousness was intact in her face.

Natsume wanted to say something but he cannot, he would not, so he just said, "I'm not the best thing in this world, Mikan."

"You are, for me." She answered intelligently.

"You should stop seeing me as the perfect guy," he advised her.

Mikan brought up her lips, wanting to question Natsume about that. Had she really saw him as the perfect guy like what Koko said? And then she knew herself that she was not. "Of course you are not perfect. I love you for your pros and cons."

"If it's hard for you, this is hard for me too. I want this friendship more than anything else and I cannot let love destroy this," Natsume admitted.

"You are scared that out friendship might be broken so you disagree to be with me," Mikan concluded, waiting for a confirmation from Natsume.

"I like Nobara," he said though it was not the answer to her statement.

Mikan's breathing became weak for a second. "Hearing you say that so straightforwardly, it makes me want to cry."

"Get over me."

She looked up to meet his gaze. "Someday, Natsume."

"You are so persistent. But I can't be angry to you because I couldn't."

"Just promise me that even after you and Nobara got together, we will stay the same."

"Sure," he agreed quickly.

"See yah," she said.

Natsume did not even notice that they were in front of their houses. He was so caught up with the conversation. "See yah," he also said and went inside their yard.

Mikan waved at him before finally entering their house and Natsume just waved once after she got inside.

"Hey, Mom." Mikan greeted.

"Dinner's ready, Mikan." Yuka's voice was obviously troubled.

"I want to see Dad," Mikan informed at once to end the horrible feeling she and her mother must be experiencing now.

Yuka was stopped from arranging the table with Mikan's decision. "What? Really? What's with the sudden change of heart?"

"He's worth the shot," Mikan answered with a smile.

She opened her arms and Mikan ran for it. "Thank you, dear. I love you so much."

Mikan hugged her mother tighter and mumbled, "I love you too, Mom."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Love is confusing. Well, at least, according to my observation. <strong>

**I apologize for making Yura a difficult person to deal with when she is nice in reality. I just do not want to introduce characters that do not belong to the world of GA in this story and I found her suitable for the role. I have also warned you guys about the OOCs you will encounter so please bear with me. **

**Again, thank you for the reviews. I always read and rereading them. I want to answer questions but I cannot answer it through PM because most of the questions are from not-logged-in accounts. But still, thank you, for the readers that have been rooting and reviewing this story from chapter one to six. Thank you to those who just discovered this story and gave their compliments. **

**Review? **


	8. The Opposite of Happiness

**A/N: **Longest chapter I have come up.

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Eight**

_**The Opposite of Happiness **_

* * *

><p>"<em>I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert but I'm holding you close coz you are my heaven."<em>

* * *

><p>His mind was in disarray for days. Since he blurted out something that he should have not said in front of his classmates and especially in front of Narumi, he could not think clearly about what to do with Mikan and Nobara anymore. He hated being confused with matters such as girls. Girls. He had always been an eye-candy for the girls and had always been irritated by their actions toward him. They did not know a thing about him and yet they were saying that they loved him. Superficial was the word he used to describe them. They were superficial until he became best friends with Mikan. She made him realize that there was more to girls than their loud voices and fashion. Well, not all girls were loud because certainly, Nobara was not one. But that was not the point. The point was he used to detest them. He was such a kid for thinking in such way. It was a good thing that Mikan showed him and proved to him that girls were fine.<p>

Fate was ironic. Of all the girls that could have fallen hard for him, it had to be his best friend. Unknown to others, friendship was very important for him. It was something that if built with honesty and trust would lasts forever. Definitely would last longer than any romantic relationship he knew. Since he valued his friendship with Mikan so much, he made a choice. He saw how it was hard for Aoi to cope after she broke up with her longtime friend that became her boyfriend. They used to be so close, almost the best of friends. When one needed help, they were the rescue of one another. They became a couple and everyone thought that they will last forever, that they were definitely for each other. But it turned out that the fact that they knew each other too well drifted them apart. They hated each other eventually, using everything what they knew about one another to hurt each other.

He was a witness on how everything changed. How Aoi changed after that breakup. He admitted it. He was scared to lose a friend such as Mikan. He was making the right decision to continue ignoring her feelings for him. Because ex-lovers could never be friends.

Natsumewas aware that what happened to Aoi and her friend would never happen between him and Mikan but that was not the point. He was afraid that the quality of their friendship would not remain. Because of that fear, he blocked everything that could lead him to like Mikan. But so far, he didn't know if he was successful or not.

He did not know why he was thinking about this thing at this time. Jinno asked him to be in his office today with Nobara. He had an idea on what was their purpose there and why would his Math teacher would call for him. He was informed about it weeks ago and Nobara was excited about this competition although it didn't have anything to do with paintings and colors. Nobara was excited to win this competition for her college scholarship. With her two brothers on college right now, their family couldn't support the three of them thus winning this contest and getting a scholarship would really be a big help.

"Hi," Nobara greeted with a wave and a smile. "Were you waiting for long?" she asked.

"Just right," Natsume answered.

She glanced first at the door and asked, "Let's go?"

Natsume just nodded.

Jinno welcomed them with his stiff features and thick glasses. He asked them to sit on the two chairs before his table. The faculty room was not crowded as it was still the middle of the morning classes. The room was spacious, painted in glossy white, and with wide windows. It seemed relaxing and inviting. Funny. Since this was where most students got lectured of whenever they did something inappropriate or said something so offending to another individual may it be to a student or worst, on a faculty member. Alice Academy might be filled with students oozing with academic qualities but it was also it had also students who had an attitude and needed slight assistance.

Jinno was a Math teacher and Natsume would always remember him, not because he was a Math teacher but as the teacher who Mikan never had a good relationship with. Bringing back the memory, he remembered how hard Mikan studied for those exams and how much she had improved. He helped her, of course, but the effort was mostly from hers. When Mikan told him that she sneaked on Jinno's compilations of her exams and homework, he knew she would get in trouble and she did. Because of that sneaky act, she was tasked to help in the library. It was a light work, yes, but he somehow disapproved of it because Mikan had her doubts. Sadly, she never found out if she was really that low in Math or not.

The teacher coughed and adjusted his glasses. "We chose you and Nobara for the inter-school competition that will be held in Okinawa this month. You and Nobara are two best students of your batch."

Natsume's expressionless face did not change. "Why me? You should have chosen Tobita."

Jinno gave Natsume a menacing look but decided to calm himself because he should stretch his patience for students who were hard to deal with like Natsume Hyuuga. He was a tough kid, he could remember clearly. He was lazy, uninterested, and rude in his class and yet he was the best student he had in years. It had been long since Alice Academy got the first place in this annual Math Camp slash competition. For many years, they were either second or third and Jinno was not satisfied with that. He was a longtime coach and somehow, he wanted his name to be remembered in the field of this contest. This year, he was determined to win the championship. The contest needed two delegates: a girl and a boy. Natsume and Nobara were the best among his classes. He was sure that Alice Academy would triumph this year.

On the other hand, whenever he saw Natsume Hyuuga, he couldn't help but remember his best friend also. Mikan Sakura. If there was this student who had given him insurmountable number of headaches, it would be Sakura. What Jinno valued the most in his life was privacy. As a teacher, he knew how students would talk at his back or would be interested in his dull life and with that, he ached for privacy. Privacy for his private life, likes and dislikes, and especially… files. So when Mikan Sakura tried to look over his files, he made sure that she would get the right amount of punishment. Suspension should be the punishment but since it was the first time she had done something like that, the principal let it slipped for a while.

She was never a good student to begin with but that was not the real reason. It really was about privacy.

"The headmaster entrusted this Math competition to you. You should be honored." Jinno said and gave the brochures to the two.

Natsume scanned it quickly. "It says here that it's a five-day comp."

Jinno nodded, hating the tone of disinterest in Natsume. "Precisely. It's indeed a Math camp."

"We'll miss our lessons," Nobara said.

Jinno turned to her. "You'll be given notes, specials exams, if ever you will miss one of those."

Nobara placed the paper filled with details on the table before her and muttered, "Oh, good then."

"Why will it take long?" Natsume asked.

Jinno was sure now. Natsume didn't want to be in the competition. "Day one, registration, program, review. Day two would be your individual competitions. Three is semi-finals. On that day, you two would finally have the chance to help each other as it is a competition for pairs after all. The scores from the previous day would serve as a big help for the semi-finals. Day four would be the finals. Actually, we could go back on that day but the winner would have to meet up with the sponsors of the contest on the fifth day."

"What for?" Natsume snarled again.

"College recommendations, scholarship. Whatever you will need after you graduate this academy," Jinno explained.

Natsume nodded his head and looked like he just understood a thing. "What you're saying is that these five days won't be consumed if we won't get in day two."

"Correct."

"You sound like you don't want to stay there," Nobara commented, noticing also the tone of disinterest in Natsume's talking.

"Don't get me wrong."

Before anything could be spoken, Jinno cut into the conversation. "It's settled then. You two will represent Alice Academy."

After that short and concluding meeting, Natsume and Nobara continued their talk on one of the benches of the garden of the school. There was an awkward silence at first and Nobara could not find how to start with her question. She was glad that she was chosen to represent the school and she felt happier when she knew that Natsume was her partner but at the same time she felt that Natsume was not giving much importance to one of the most important competitions in her life. Nobara was sure that Natsume's aware of her need to find a college scholarship and she had no doubts on Natsume's abilities, she was just worried on his determination.

"We need to win," Nobara started.

Natsume turned his head into her direction. "I know."

Nobara bit her lip and stated with a little shyness, "You seem not interested."

"I told you to not get me wrong," he said again.

She stretched legs, with her hands resting on her lap. "We are not very rich and the scholarship would really help a lot," she reminded.

Natsume said once more, "I know."

"Really?" Nobara asked him, trying to test him.

Natsume smiled shortly at her. She must be thinking that he was not serious and she was correct but he did not want to tell her that. He was not feeling any sort of happiness or excitement about this competition because it would just be useless for him and he might be the best student when it comes to Math but it was not simply his passion. Instead of painting his most important piece for his exhibit, he would spend his time reviewing and answering Math problems. It was a complete waste of time for him. But he could not reject the offer because of Nobara. The girl wanted a sure win and he would give her that. For her future. He had no doubts when it comes to his abilities and capabilities but why was he feeling so unsure now? He was trying to convince himself but it seemed not to be working.

"We will win," he assured Nobara but not himself.

The gray-haired girl just nodded, her lips in a thin line. "I know. I trust you."

* * *

><p>Mikan was approached by an out of breath Koko who was also looking problematic at the same time. She wanted to laugh at his pitiful expression. Half of the day had passed and when she got a message from Koko, she felt it had something to do with a favor and she seemed correct basing on his look now. Again, she was feeling fine all day with the resolved issue with her Mom and more. So far, school was not getting in the way and these were the days when she was usually bored with academics. So anything that would take all her time would be acceptable now.<p>

"Can I ask a favor?" Koko started.

Mikan gave him a stern look. "What kind?"

Koko tried to catch up with his breath as he said, "President asked me make to make a calendar of the events that our school will have for the rest of the year."

"That's easy. What's the problem with that?" Mikan asked, trying to sound clueless.

Koko scratched his chin, trying to look helpless. "Well, you're right but if it weren't that Vice Pres asked me to summarize all the expenses our committee had for the past years and our future expenses for this school year. He needs it for the proposition to increase our budget."

Mikan crossed her arms together and raised an eyebrow. "Sucks to be an officer, huh? When are those due?"

Koko looked sheepishly at her and said with enough embarrassment, "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? And when did they give you these works?" Mikan asked in disbelief.

"This morning."

Mikan groaned and shook her head. "Fine. I'll help."

Koko's face immediately light up and said, "Great. You're the best, Mikan."

She just waved her hand dismissively. "No probs. I had nothing to do either."

Koko was starting to walk when he reminded her about the meeting place. "Good. We'll just meet at our office."

Mikan nodded and laughed. "Yeah, beside the Arts Committee's open area."

"See you later!"

"See you, too."

* * *

><p>Mikan was standing freely in the hallway. Everyone was inside their respective rooms except their class whose teacher was called by a sudden emergency. Well, she was outside to have some quiet environment. Her classmates were unusually noisy today and she could not review for her History quiz. She was cramming, yeah, but who cares? She could see flying wrinkled papers by the small glass window of their door. Mikan just shook her head and chuckled slightly. Since the hallway was empty, she was able to sit in her most comfortable position. After a few minutes of just sitting there, she stood up and almost yelled when a girl was already beside her. Mikan was eyeing the girl, trying to come out with the answer on why the little girl was smirking at her.<p>

She was a freshman as proven by her identification card. "Hello," she said.

Mikan smiled awkwardly and she could not believe she was getting intimidated by a freshman. "Hello? Do I know you?" she asked kindly.

The girl snorted. "Obviously not."

Mikan was surprised at her retort. She was rude, Mikan thought. Mikan did not want to meddle with this kind of situation so she chose to ignore the girl. She pretended that she was scanning her notes and memorizing what needed to be memorized when the freshman talked again.

"I'm a fan, by the way."

The brunette could not help but glance at her. "What?"

"Of your stupidity?" said the freshman and chuckled.

"Excuse me?" Mikan said, feeling insulted.

The girl laughed again and said in a very mature tone, "I can write hundreds of article from it."

No idea. Mikan had no idea on what this girl was blurting. She was a fan, could write hundreds of article about her stupidity, and she was, again, a fan. Mikan could not connect the dots and not because she was slow in comprehension but she really didn't have any idea on what the freshman was trying to say. Apart from all the confusing things she was saying, she was discourteous to her. Mikan was a junior for heaven's sake and a freshman could make her blood boil this much. Mikan was trying to convince herself that she was just a little girl and she should lengthened her patience since she was older but the girl continued on giving her a creepy look.

"You're aware that I'm older than you, right?" Mikan fought back.

The freshman nodded and stepped backward. "Yes and hey, chill. I intend no harm. As I told you, I'm a fan."

"I have no idea of what you're saying," Mikan said between her gritted teeth.

"Don't worry. You'll soon have."

Mikan looked at her, having no idea at all.

"Goodbye," the girl said and before Mikan could have lectured the girl about being disrespectful, she already walked away.

"Who's that?" Anna who was suddenly at the door asked. "It's crazy inside. They are acting like it's the first time our class got cancelled," she said.

Mikan was still looking at the direction where the girl walked on to. "Dunno," she answered.

Nonoko took a seat across their room. "She's a freshman. Why would a freshman talk to you?"

"No idea," Mikan answered.

Hotaru who was being quiet the moment they stepped out of the room talked now and said, "I know her. The school paper wants her."

The organization that was composed of the brightest students of Alice Academy was the Writer's Nook. They were only choosing the best, the talented, and the responsible. They were the student's voice, the representative of every Alice Academy student to express what they were aching to say. Of all the committees in school, the Writer's Nook had the most freedom and, not to mention, budget. Even Alice Academy itself had put their complete trust on the committee to let the students know about their defense, answers, and future plans. This organization never let false information be published. Everything they do should be perfect or near to perfection. They set the highest standards in order to be able to win in competitions involving the school paper and journalism.

Hearing something from Hotaru Imai herself that the school paper wanted to recruit the freshman who was treating Mikan like she knew the brunette her whole life was indeed a big shocker. Writer's Nook never recruited a member. They all took the exam and were tasked to write a close to perfection two feature articles and two editorials in a span of one and a half hours. After that were the Psychological Exam and Dialogue or in simpler terms, the interview. It was a meticulous process.

Anna looked surprised by the news and then it turned to a curious one while saying, "That's odd. Your club wants to recruit someone? And a first year, moreover."

Hotaru understood the confusion and explained. "She's good. I've read her feature article once. She had written it back in high school and her writing is really effective, considering her age. But the rule that one must pass four articles after taking the exam to be in the paper applies for everyone."

"I don't understand," Mikan said.

Hotaru turned to her. "She didn't want to pass an article. Saying that she is waiting to write a very important story. Until she completed it, she won't pass one."

Nodding, Nonoko said, "Well, your club has many talents. You don't exactly need her."

This time, Hotaru glanced at Nonoko and started explaining. "They are seniors, Nonoko. Soon, they will leave the academy and we have to find new writers."

"Right," Nonoko muttered.

The topic pretty much drained because they focused on scanning their History notes again except for Hotaru who seemed to be ready for the exam and just got out because she hated the noise that was echoing inside their homeroom. A few minutes had already passed when Anna close her notebook and smiled. She was looking at Mikan who was still reviewing. She just had the greatest news and she was about to tell it first thing in the morning but somehow forgotten about it.

"So, there are rumors spreading our year level," Anna started.

Mikan turned to her, assuming that Anna was talking to her. "What rumors?" she asked.

At first, Anna gave Mikan an excited expression before blurting out, "Natsume made a short speech about love."

Mikan's head glanced at the side slightly, seeing that Nonoko was also listening. "So?" she said, waiting for her friend's continuation of the story.

"It is hinted that it's about you," Anna finally said.

The girls squealed, except for Hotaru, like it was the normal reaction for a statement like that. Mikan broke out her biggest smile. It was indeed good news for her and because of that, she almost forgot about that it was just a rumor. A speech about love by Natsume Hyuuga that was hinted to be for Mikan Sakura. The brunette did not know how accurate or how true was this rumor but she didn't have the time to care about it now. Mikan was already blinded on how the rumor was sugarcoated. This was the first time Natsume talked about love and that alone could get anyone excited.

"Really? Really? What did he say?" Mikan asked excitedly.

"I don't know the exact words but his classmates might know," Anna said.

"Where did you get that piece of information?" Nonoko asked, feeling giddy with the information that had just been shared.

Anna quickly answered, "From Yuu, of course."

Nonoko got baffled for a while. "Yuu? I never thought he's the type of guy who would spread gossips."

The pink-haired girl let out a nervous laugh. "Technically, he didn't spread it. He sorted of just, asked about it."

"What do you mean, Anna?" asked Mikan.

Anna moved closer to Mikan's seat. Her gossip mode was starting again as she started telling the whole story. "We're seatmates in Math, okay? Then he said to me, "You're friends with Sakura, right? I thought Natsume doesn't like her but when he made a little speech in class, he was definitely talking about Sakura and he seemed to notice it, too." So after he said that, I asked him what the topic was and he said that Mr. Narumi asked Natsume if he knows the feeling of love," Anna explained.

Nonoko clapped her hands and said, "That's really great news, Anna. It seems like Yuu belongs to the crowd of wanted Natsume and Mikan to be together."

"Don't tell me you would believe Anna," Hotaru's voice overpowered their laughter.

Mikan was still having her greatest time of the day when Hotaru interrupted. She turned back to her with a serious face. She knew what would happen and she knew what Hotaru would say and she didn't want to hear a piece from it. Not that she was being close minded on warning and advices but she just had enough. Sadly, she could not stop Hotaru from preventing her to be hurt. Sooner or later, she would need a cushion or someone to knock her head and would say, "I told you so, stupid."

"Hotaru, why are you being mean again?" Mikan dared to ask.

The Ice Queen just gave out a smile that signifies her disbelief. "Because it's not what you think, okay?"

Mikan's face was still firm. "Why? Do you know what I'm thinking?" she asked with a challenging tone.

Hotaru stood up and with her rudest tone, she said, "Of course. You are thinking that Hyuuga must be starting to feel the same way about you, that he might have the feeling all along and he is just starting to realize them now. I'm right, am I?"

The brunette stood up also. "Nothing's bad about it," she said.

Hotaru just let out a sarcastic laugh. "Can't you see? Everything is wrong about it."

"It's wrong because I'm just giving myself false hopes?" Mikan asked, trying to rationalize the things that had happened and was happening.

"Correct."

Mikan stomped her foot once and gritted her teeth. She started making hand gestures just to prove her point more. "But I have every right, okay? What Yuu said must be true. I mean, he's not the kind of person who just makes up things. That alone can make me believe"

"That's just shallow," Hotaru commented.

"It's not, okay?" Mikan almost yelled.

The two shared a glaring challenge that lasted only a few seconds. Both parties realized that what the real shallow thing in all of these was. It was this. Mikan relaxed herself and Hotaru did the same. Seriously, they were fighting over this again and it was just pathetic. They could talk about this once and never open the subject again but it just so happened that Mikan was so in love and Hotaru was just being a friend in her own way.

"Are we seriously arguing about this?" Hotaru asked.

Mikan's expression didn't change. "It's because you don't have faith on my belief."

Hotaru rolled her eyes and said, "Because it's just a false belief. He will never like you, Mikan."

"Fine. Be that way."

"Look, I know how you much you wanted your own best friend but I'm just warning you."

Mikan's voice softened. "I had enough of it, Hotaru."

Sensing that the conversation was heating up second by second, Anna talked. "Hey, you two… there is no really need to fight about this."

Nonoko joined Anna in halting the two girl best friends from fighting. "That's right. I mean, we all have our opinions and you two are right on your own."

Mikan was the one who did the humble thing first. "Right. I'm sorry, Hotaru."

"Me too," Hotaru said.

"I'm getting fed up with us arguing over this thing again and again," Mikan stated the obvious.

"Same here."

Mikan looked at her other two friends and said, "So, next time let's just keep it quiet and low."

"Okay," Anna and Nonoko agreed.

* * *

><p>"You know the rumors?" Yura asked, her hand on her chin.<p>

Nobara who was busy at finishing the book she bought yesterday did not even look at her friend but said, "Yura, you know how I don't pay attention with rumors."

Yura smirked, knowing how much the rumors would break Nobara's peaceful day. "Well, these two would definitely interest you."

Nobara finally closed her book and paid her full attention to her friend. With an uninterested look, she said, "I'll guess. It's about Natsume and Mikan."

"You're great."

Nobara quickly reopened her book, trying not to laugh at Yura for being senseless. "I don't want to hear about it because whatever it is, definitely not true," she said.

"Your boy had gone on a date with his best friend," Yura said quickly.

Yura saw how Nobara tensed at her words. Her friend never really cared with rumors but she knew that when it comes to Natsume Hyuuga, rumor or not, she cared. Yura liked this kind of moment. The moment wherein she knew something that Nobara didn't. The rumors were true; Yura could just feel it. She was acting like a total antagonist between Nobara, Natsume, and Mikan in the past few days and she was enjoying it so she decided to continue it. Luck was on her side when she got news about a certain person. Nobara was weak when it comes to Natsume so she might as well enjoy that weakness.

"Where did you get that? Natsume would never do that."

"Someone saw them," Yura said with a sinister smile.

Nobara scoffed then. "That is definitely not true. Maybe they were just eating and someone mistook it as a date."

Yura rolled her eyes. "Yes, they were just eating. On a fancy restaurant, with a reservation."

The face of Nobara was firm and serious. "Until Natsume confirms something, I won't believe a thing."

"There' more," Yura trailed, feeling superior for telling these things.

"What? Again?"

"Do you know Wakako from Math class?" asked Yura.

Nobara tried to remember who Wakako was and when she recognized her, she nodded and said, "Yes."

Yura nodded seeing that things were getting related at each other little by little. "She has the same English class with your boy and do you know what your boy did?"

"What?" Nobara asked with full curiosity.

"He was asked about love and he answered it beautifully."

Nobara chuckled at that. "Natsume has been always a great student," she defended.

Yura simply shrugged and looked away, giving Nobara an innocent look. "When he asked about love, he was referring about his friend. "Like she's the only thing completing your messed-up life because she has so much faith in you" is the line. I think."

"He must be referring to someone else," Nobara mumbled.

"Who? You?" Yura asked with a short laugh.

Nobara slightly glared at her. "No. Maybe his mother or sister. Maybe he saw what real love is from them." She then hit her book on the table. She was irritated by Yura's tone and what was Yura trying to really say. She was making her doubt Natsume and Nobara could not believe that her friend was being successful. She could not stand to be with Yura for more than a minute now so she better go. She already stood up, getting her things.

"I'm not really sure about that but I'm sure to the proposition that you should talk to him soon," Yura said to her before she finally left.

* * *

><p>Koko and Ruka stood in front of Natsume. Their looks indicated that something bad happened. They both placed their bags on the table earning a look from Natsume. What they were about to tell could only be classified as a good or bad news by the way Natsume would accept it. Honestly, they would be delighted to hear those if it weren't they knew that their friend was courting someone now. But still, nothing changed the fact that like everybody else, they were rooting for Mikan. Seriously, their friendship was Alice Academy's biggest story. It was so popular that it became an everyday habit for everyone to see Natsume and Mikan together and how it was weird for the same demographic whenever these two best friends were not together.<p>

"Are you aware of the rumors spreading about you?" Ruka asked.

Koko nudged Ruka on the shoulder. "Wrong term, man. They aren't exactly rumors."

Natsume shook his head and rolled his eyes at the same time. "What are you two talking about?" he asked, slightly annoyed. Annoyed because whenever these two approach him, they were just bringing news about Mikan. His two friends were not like this before and their persistence was getting on his nerves already.

Koko smiled. "You're so naïve, Natsume."

"Spill it," Natsume ordered.

Ruka pursed his lips and glanced at his surroundings. "Everybody sort of knows about the date and your rumored confession."

"What? What confession?" Natsume asked agitatedly.

"English," Koko reminded.

Natsume felt his blood boil. Really, sometimes, people could be so nosy that they invade privacy. "This is stupid. Why do they care?" he spat.

"Remember the survey?" Koko asked and reminded at the same time.

Natsume's face didn't look pleased or happy. The two could easily tell that the rumor did not make him happy. The raven-haired boy looked like he wanted to punch something just to get out the anger off his system. Natsume was not the type who gets angry with little things and his patience was long. Long enough to tolerate what everyone was saying. But everything had an end and in terms of Natsume's patience, this was it. Maybe the crimson-eyed boy was tired of receiving looks from other students whenever Mikan would approach him at lunch or how would his other classmates would always ask what was his status with his best friend which was moronic.

Somehow, Natsume tried to believe that his classmates would not make a big fuss out of the speech he made since he already gave them the warning look on not to tell anything but it seemed like no one took the message by heart. He had not readied himself on what to answer on situations like this and judging by the time now, Mikan must have heard about the rumors, too. This made Natsume more irritable. He meant the speech to be a secret to Mikan but it turned out he could not really trust some people.

"I don't care about that stupid survey. Why can't you just let us live in peace?" said Natsume.

"Hey, why are you getting angry on us?" Koko asked defensively.

Natsume gritted his teeth, his jaw was already hard due to restraining himself from bursting. "Coz you started this. You proposed that stupid date."

"You call you date with your best friend stupid?" Ruka retorted, thinking that if Mikan heard that, it would break her heart to pieces.

"I specifically remembered saying to you two that no one should know about that," Natsume said.

Koko was also surprised on how Natsume called the date with Mikan stupid so he tried to shot back by saying, "We are not the one who spilled it. Someone saw you."

"Shit," Natsume muttered.

"Why are you so agitated? It's not like you cheated on someone," Koko pointed out.

Ruka was the one who nudged his shoulder this time and said, "He's worried about Nobara."

That's just it. Koko hit the table. It was still a question to him why it seemed like no one was hearing them. They were fighting but that did not really matter. He said, "Nobara? You're worried about what she will say? But you are not worried what Mikan will feel if she saw you this irritated with your date with her?"

"I wouldn't call it a date," muttered Natsume.

Koko glared at him. "It clearly was a date. That's our agreement."

"Exactly. It's just an agreement."

Koko clenched his fist. "How dare you say that."

Ruka patted his back and said to him, "Relax, Koko."

"Why do you care so much, huh?" Natsume asked. He looked like he was ready to hit Koko anytime.

Koko smiled in disbelief. "We explained that to you at the very beginning," he said.

Ruka squeezed in between and said, "Look, you two are friends and this is just a misunderstanding. Perhaps, Natsume can explain it to Nobara then we can all live in peace." He did not want for his two friends to fight over this matter when in fact it really didn't have anything to with him and Koko in the first place but they could not go back down, not when they started to care.

"You should tell her the truth," Komko advised and his expression was still the same.

"Don't tell me what to do," Natsume retorted.

Ruka chuckled to make the atmosphere lighter but the two just gave him a look which signified that his laughter did not help. "Stop this. Seriously, you two look like fighting for Mikan's affection."

After that, Ruka gave Koko a look that was trying to tell him that he should apologize. Ruka realized it, finally. They should also try considering Natsume's feelings and not resort their favors on Mikan only. After all, this was not about Mikan only. Natsume was considerate enough to even take Mikan out. Ruka convinced himself that not all a person say was something he meant. There were times that we were just saying things to prevent further complications from happening and maybe this was one of those times. This kind of relationship Natsume had with Mikan was getting more complicated each day and Ruka just had his biggest fear for these two. Something told him that they could not make it. Because once you loved a person, you could never be a friend to that person. It would always be different. Once you hurt a person, the pain might not remain forever but it would always serve as a reminder for a failed relationship.

"Sorry, Natsume."

Natsume nodded. "Yah. We should have not done that."

Koko looked up to his friend and said, "Just so you know, regret is a bad feeling."

Natsume gave Koko a stiff look before glancing at Ruka. "I've been told."

* * *

><p>"Sorry, I'm late." Koko apologized as he panted like this morning.<p>

She released her resting back from the wall and started walking. "It's fine, Koko. You're just almost an hour late," Mikan drawled out.

"You're pissed," Koko remarked.

Mikan glanced at him shortly. "I'm not."

Koko took advance steps to get in front of Mikan; an action that made her stop from striding steps. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"You didn't have to say it again," Mikan said, her expression had not changed a bit.

Koko looked down and started saying, "But I made you wait. And you're angry."

Mikan made her look up by placing her hand on his chin and pulled it upwards. This time, Mikan greeted Koko with a smile. "I'm just playing at you. Koko, cheer up."

"Really?" he asked.

She then placed her hands on her waist and turned her head to the side while saying, "Yes. Besides, waiting is nothing." Mikan even waved once her hand in midair to prove that she was just fine waiting.

Somehow, Koko interpreted that statement as something else, something more.

They reached their office in no time. The darkness almost scared Mikan but knowing that someone was there with her made her relaxed a bit. Koko switched on the lights and the neatness of their office welcomed them. They placed their things on Koko's assigned table. Mikan took a look on the outside through the glass window and she was amazed on how she could almost see the Art Committee's designated area. This floor was only occupied by all the organizations of the school. It was really great of the academy to assign a place like this for clubs and with this, everyone who was a member of a club could feel the importance of being an active student.

"How should we divide the work?" Mikan asked.

Koko got out the files from the drawer and said, "You do the calendar and I'll do the summary."

"Good."

Not because they divided their work, they wouldn't check each other's work. Koko was checking on how Mikan was doing and Mikan was double checking Koko's computation. Finishing the work had taken a long time and it was almost eight in the evening when Koko was about to finish. Of course, Mikan finished first because she got the lighter work so after she finished, she went to help Koko. It was a little irresponsible on how their President would ask someone to do something like recording and checking all the expenses of the club for the past years a day before it was needed. So Koko was really thankful that Mikan was kind enough to help him.

"Thank you, again."

Mikan smiled at Koko. "Don't mention it."

They were just rearranging the files they used when a light illuminated the hallway a little. It scared Mikan but Koko assured her that it might just be the person in-charge of patrolling the hallways at night and besides, even faculty members stayed this late. If they needed o leave the school, someone would inform them. Mikan just ignored it and asked Koko to move faster because she wanted to go home as soon as possible. Koko just laughed at her and just told her that there was nothing to be scared about because he was there. Mikan hit him in the shoulder for laughing at her and her weak point. She told him that he should walk first and then she would follow. Mikan clutched a part from Koko's uniform which just made Koko snicker more.

They were ready to go home when they saw a gray-haired girl that scared them at first but then not soon enough, Natsume entered the open area of the Art's Committee. Mikan stopped from walking and did her best to hide herself and Koko. She didn't know why she would hide especially that there was no specific reason to cover from Natsume but seeing him at the school this late only to talk to Nobara automatically made herself do the action.

"Why are we hiding?" Koko asked in a whisper and Mikan just shushed him.

"Seeing your sketch so rough, you must have had a bad day." It was Natsume's voice and the two hiding buddies hear it correctly.

"Do you even need to ask?" Nobara asked, her tone was flat.

"It's about Mikan," Natsume started and based on Nobara's decision to leave her sketchpad like that, he knew he hit the spot.

Nobara walked towards him and she did look like she was bothered all day. She had been thinking about Natsume's date with his best friend since lunch and it was making her uncomfortable. "Tell me, Natsume. Is there something that I don't know, that I should be aware of, but you're not telling me?"

"The date is true," Natsume said frankly. He did not want to say other more things and just wanted to get to the point and end this. After all, he decided.

Nobara huffed and stepped backwards. "Natsume Hyuuga. How dare you?"

"It's a request from my two friends and I figured out that I should grant Mikan's wishes some times," he said it. He said the honest thing but it still felt wrong to say. He felt like he was hurting Mikan even if she was not here. Actually, he did not say anything bad and he explained his part very well with those short words.

"It's just out of pity?" Nobara asked for confirmation.

He shook his head and took a step toward her. "No. I want to make her happy sometimes. I'm still her best friend."

Nobara looked disappointed but asked her second question anyway. "And the confession?"

Natsume's gaze, from Nobara went to focus behind her. He could not answer right away and he noticed the expectant look Nobara had. He swallowed. What the hell. Was he nervous? He wanted to asked himself. Why was he nervous, if ever? He wanted to ask second.

"It's not true," he said.

Nobara looked unimpressed. "Really? Everybody in your class was convinced you are talking about her."

"They misinterpreted. I was describing the love Mikan is expressing."

"So it's not for her?" Nobara asked, waiting for Natsume's one-word answer.

"No," Natsume said.

Nobara seemed to believe him as her expression cooled down. "You should be telling the truth," she said. Her voice had no kindness in it because her tone was demanding for guarantee and a concrete answer. She did notice how Natsume tensed at her confrontation. He was explaining his side like they were already together while she was already acting like she was already the girlfriend. She had the right, she thought. If Natsume could not be faithful now, well, how about in the future?

"I am."

"She's just your best friend?"

Natsume nodded absentmindedly and said, "Nothing more."

"Will that change?" Nobara asked. She really was demanding for answers.

He stared at her eyes and stated, "I don't think so."

Nobara gave out a sigh of relief and for the first time in the day, she smiled. As she stood before Natsume now, she began wondering if she already loved him too. She was jealous, worried, and concerned for him. As she stood before him, she could easily tell how Natsume was one of the greatest persons she had met and how amazing he was with his sly remarks and unique personality. She realized that she did not want Natsume to be somebody else's. He belonged to her and she could almost say in front of him now that she belonged to him but it still scared her. Nobara wanted to enjoy the status she and Natsume shared this moment.

"I'm sorry for doubting you," she said.

Natsume smirked at her and caressed her hair. "You're jealous. Again."

She looked helpless when she said, "I cannot help it. Yura's been feeding me ideas."

He raised an eyebrow and advised her. "Your friend? You shouldn't listen to her all the time."

"She even said that the reason why no one is taking interest on Mikan because they fear of her obsession with you that she just might do it to them," Nobara blurted out.

Natsume's hands tensed and his tone of voice became deadly. "Who said that?" he asked.

"I don't know, okay?" Nobara answered.

"They better stop saying that," he said to her making a mental note to himself to deal with those people whoever said that. It was not obsession, definitely. And if there was one thing that could make Mikan shine from the others, it would be her infinite hope. Making fun of her feelings like that and using it as a threat were unforgivable for Natsume. They had no right and would never have the right to comment on Mikan's feelings.

Nobara broke from Natsume's gaze and said bitterly, "That's exactly the reason why. You are overprotective of her."

He did not notice the hint of jealousy in her statement. "Why shouldn't I? She's my most important friend."

She looked at him again, ready to make him realize why he shouldn't be so overprotective of his best friend who happened to like him. "Well, you should not be like that. Let others like her. In that way, she'll get over you, fast."

Natsume was speechless for a moment but then he struggled to say something. "I think you're right."

"Let's go home?" Nobara offered.

Natsume nodded and just said, "We better go. I'll walk you home."

Koko saw Natsume switched off the lights. The school's street lamps located outside illuminated the hallway a little. He saw how Natsume talked to Nobara. It was his first time to see them together acting like that and he just froze because he remembered that Mikan was with him and hearing that conversation…

"Mikan?" Koko asked worriedly. When he saw her, she was already crying.

The girl who had been always wearing a smile at any time of the day was crying beside him. He was sure that Mikan cried for Natsume before but this must be the first time she cried with someone beside her. It was also his first time to see a girl crying. Crying girls was never his forte due to lack of experience. Even his own Mom was good at hiding her tears so it must be the same with Mikan but this time, she just couldn't help it, could she? He did not know what to do. He had choices of either to pat her in the shoulder or let her have her way. He had no experience and with this and how much he wished he had. Mikan continued on sobbing and he could tell that she was already crying on the start of the conversation. It must have hurt her so much to hear the indirect rejection.

Rejection. Koko wondered how many rejections Mikan had already gotten from Natsume. Was the pain unimaginable, immeasurable, stabbing, endless, or tolerable? It had been ten years and maybe half of it was like this. He hated himself at the moment for not doing anything but sit there. He remembered Mikan's every day visit during lunch and wondered if she would still do it if Natsume would have Nobara as his girlfriend? Would Mikan still give him Valentine gifts? He remembered one time when he saw Mikan talking to the teacher assigned for the lockers to place her locker beside Natsume and Koko realized how dedicated Mikan was when it comes to her best friend. He and Ruka initiated the date hoping it would settle things with Mikan and Natsume but he did that in the first place because he predicted how delighted Mikan would be when she would get the chance to have a date with the person she loved.

"I'm fine. I'm just, getting emotional, that's all."

Waiting was tiring and yet she seemed not to be tired at all, just hurt. At that moment, Koko wanted to hug her and tell her that everything was going to be alright and it will pass but he couldn't. Ten years of pain. He could not imagine if he himself could follow a girl for two years. Ten years was just too much regardless if they were still children. Right now, Koko wanted to do something.

"It's okay to cry," he said and Mikan just looked at him.

Her tears started flowing freely. "I'm too sick of crying," she said and wiped the falling tears but they would not just stop. "Too tired of hoping, of believing, of fighting," she added and closed her eyes but even if she closed her eyes, the tears were still there.

Would the tears stop from flowing? Koko asked himself. Those tears were equivalent of ten years of pain.

"Then why don't you end your own suffering?" Koko asked her.

Mikan smiled at him, wiping her tears. "Coz I'll suffer more without believing, hoping, and fighting for something? I don't know. I'm such an idiot."

"Oh, Mikan."

And after that, he let her buried her head on his chest. He prayed that somehow it would make her feel lighter and glad. Glad that someone was there to catch her for the first time.

"Are you always this hurt?" he asked and he just felt Mikan nodded. With that, he hugged her tighter.

* * *

><p>After the crying episode she had displayed last night, Mikan approached Koko and thanked him formally and also apologized to him, saying that he should not have seen that because he didn't deserve to see a breakdown like that in which she cried for an hour straight. Koko smiled humbly at her and told her that the next time she cries, she should find him and he would gladly support her. Such beautiful words, Mikan could not help but kissed his cheek out of gratitude. After that sudden and risky move, Mikan teased Koko about blushing and asked him if it was the first time he got kissed by a girl and he could not answer.<p>

So, Natsume managed to break her heart again. And again, and again, and again. This was not new to her but the feeling was always something new. The pain was fresh and alive. She could still hear the echo of Nobara and Natsume's conversation last night in her head. She sniffed. She was in her favorite place again.

"I have not seen you all day."

Mikan did not even look at him and just said with sarcasm, "Oh? You're looking for me? Do you need something?"

"What's with your tone?" Natsume asked as he sat beside her.

"Nothing," she said and distanced her seat a little from Natsume.

Natsume noticed the cold shoulder and he already got a clue. "What? I rejected you again?"

She glanced at him and incredulously asked, "What?"

"That's the same tone you always have whenever I reject you," he pointed out.

"I'm busy right now."

"With what? With staring at the river?" he asked sarcastically.

She almost stood up and said, "I have to go," when Natsume held her arm and made her sit down. She then released her arm from his grip and stood up for real.

"Mikan. What is your problem?" he asked, standing up also.

Mikan took a deep breath first before finally asking, "Why are you letting Nobara control you?"

"What are you saying?" Natsume asked. Really, he had no clue.

She faced him with an aggravated look. "I heard you last night. Accidentally. I was there. You said nothing will change and yet you two aren't even together but she's making you change your relationship with me?"

He was surprised. She was there? Mikan heard everything. Every little single thing.

"That's now what she wants," Natsume defended, not having enough time to contemplate on how on Earth Mikan was there at the night he talked to Nobara to patch things up.

"It's clearly what she wants and you are just letting her do it," she spat.

"Maybe because she has a point," Natsume retorted, equaling Mikan's annoyance.

She pushed him and stared at the river. Mikan felt weak and pathetic. She felt like she was a hopeless case to be recommended to do something as that. "I don't need someone to like me to change my feelings for you," she said and added, "This is what I feel. No one can change it. Not you, not anyone."

"She just wants to help, okay?"

Mikan was displeased. "Well, I don't need her help."

"Stop acting like that," Natsume said.

Mikan stared at her, her mouth opened but chose not to say the words. And with all the crying she had done last night, she could not believe that she had still tears now. She wiped the drops immediately and asked in a flat tone. "What will happen to us, Natsume?" she asked.

Natsume looked away, hating to see her cry. "You should open you mind to other things. Not everything is about me."

"I know that! I'm so sick and tired of people thinking like all I see about you is pure perfection. I know reality and I'm not escaping it. Fine. You don't like me. I'm persistent. I'm stupid. I'm shallow. What else? I'm scary because I might follow them for ten years also?" she burst.

"You know that's not true."

Mikan shook her head and said, "I'm starting to think that you see me as this superficial girl who knows nothing but to be madly in love to her own best friend who never liked her."

Natsume held her both arms, "You are never superficial."

The brunette gave Natsume a very affectionate look. "Stop saying such sweet words to me. That's why I never stopped."

He said nothing after that. The natural reaction would be that they should go home now but they knew that they would not sleep well if they would separate without fully resolving the problem. So, they went back to sitting there and the sun was setting.

"We argued again," Mikan started.

"Yah."

She buried her head to her knees and mumbled from that position, "I hate it when it comes to this."

"I'm sorry for everything."

She looked up to him. "I'm sorry, too."

"What will happen to us now, Mikan?" he asked. Clearly, he also had no idea when it comes to Mikan.

"Nothing will change," Mikan said for the nth time.

Natsume simply nodded. "Right."

"You know why I want nothing to change?" she asked.

"Coz it's impossible," he answered for her.

"I doubt if we can still keep talking like everything's fine between us if Nobara really becomes your girlfriend. I don't know if I can hide the pain or be genuinely happy. You'll be busy with her, you see. I don't know if you will still have time for me or will care for me like you are doing now."

"Then we won't let it."

Mikan shook her head. "College will come. It's fast approaching."

"We still have more than a year," Natsume said.

Mikan looked at him, thinking that the time they still had was not long enough. "Time won't stop. Not for you, not for me, not for anyone."

"Then we should make everyday count."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Oh guys, don't hate Natsume. His insensitiveness is essential to make this story heartbreaking. :) Do not hate Nobara also. She's still the angel we all know. So, supposed to be, I have already updated this story yesterday but due to an emergency, I had to go to the hospital and take a laboratory exam. What's my sickness? Haha, it's pretty common and I'm sure you don't mind. But, moving on, this chapter is pretty long. Freaking 22 pages in Word so I hope you enjoyed reading it. <strong>

**Review? **


	9. Cold War

**A/N: **I do not own Prove You Wrong. And a big _**thank you **_to all those who reviewed for the last chapter.

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Nine**

_**Cold War**_

* * *

><p><em>Give me your heart,<em>

_I don't want a piece or a part,_

_I want it all_

_I want you to fall_

* * *

><p>Ruka glanced at the clock and saw that it was past lunch break. After staring shortly at the entrance door of the cafeteria, he diverted his gaze to his close pal with crimson eyes. The atmosphere seemed familiar and he just knew that this happened before. Natsume had this familiar expression on his face previously and as a longtime friend, Ruka immediately noticed it. Yes, it was given that Natsume had a really cold facial expression and with that, it was hard to tell or to even notice what he was currently feeling, unlike now, you could really tell that he was bothered by something. He looked irritated and disturbed than usual. Ruka had been improving in translating his friends' facial expressions and what was really funny is that it always had something to do with Mikan. Who knew their worlds revolve around her now? They usually talked about the brunette more than anything.<p>

It was past lunch and still, Mikan had not come.

It was not only Natsume who caught Ruka's superb facial expression translation. Koko started acting awkward three days ago, too. The always-smiling boy was acting like he was guilty of something and Ruka just got interested on what that thing might be. He tried asking Koko but the boy said that he was just imagining things. Ruka refused to believe him and after that, the topic pretty much died until now. Koko knew something and Ruka could feel it in his bones. Being suspicious to his friends was something he had never done before but he was enjoying it. Ruka was enjoying being the bridge for everything when in the first place it was really Koko who had started this. So, he liked Mikan for Natsume. With his very little interaction with Mikan, he saw the sincerity. That alone made him vote for Mikan. Not that Natsume was a prized possession that could be won but sometimes, you could not help think that way.

"Is this how you always treated each other when you fight?" Ruka asked, getting tired of the silence between the three of them. Sure, boys didn't talk as much as girls but they were never the quiet ones, too. The stillness was deafening and it bothered Ruka.

Natsume did not even bother to look at him and just asked with his bored tone, "What?"

"Mikan haven't been visiting us at lunch for three days. That's 72 hours and counting if you include today, Natsume! She even ignored you when we past the hallways where they are hanging out earlier," Ruka stated his observations and based on the initial reaction Natsume gave him, he knew that Natsume noticed it, too. Koko's look of guilt did not miss Ruka's eyes and judgment either.

"Must be busy and must have not seen me," Natsume excused lamely. "Besides, this isn't the first time something like this happened," he added.

He was affected and with that and Ruka wanted to laugh but to spare himself from getting on Natsume's bad side he tried his best not to chuckle or snort. Natsume and Mikan should date already, Ruka thought. Seriously, Mikan was the only one who could give this effect to Natsume. No one had ever managed to make the Natsume Hyuuga this irritable other than his very own best of all friends, Mikan Sakura. If Ruka did not believe in Natsume's intentions, he would assume that Natsume was just dating Nobara to divert his attention from falling in love with Mikan.

Ruka smirked at his friend. "That's funny. When it comes to you, no matter how busy she is, she always comes. And she always notices you."

"A little space won't hurt," Natsume said, focusing on nothing.

"So, you did fight?" Ruka asked, quite surprised.

Natsume shrugged his shoulders. "Last time I've checked, we're fine."

Ruka frowned and said, "Apparently, you are not."

"Just shut up," Natsume growled.

Ruka rested his arms comfortable on the table and asked, "So, what's the reason of your quarrel this time?"

"We are not quarreling," Natsume said with a glare.

"Yeah, but, you had to be."

The raven-haired boy rolled his eyes, getting annoyed with Ruka's nonstop interrogation for the nth time. "It is something that doesn't concern you," he answered.

Ruka gave him an it's-your-loss look. "If you will keep saying that forever, we won't be able to help you if you need one."

"This problem doesn't require some helping. Because, honestly, we've talked about it the last time and it's just her choice to ignore me," Natsume explained and added, "I don't own her life and her life is not me. She can do whatever she wants and if she needs me, I'll be here."

Ruka didn't seem to be convinced. "Maybe she's confused right now. She's thinking about whether to stay with you or not."

Ruka got Natsume thinking on his statement. Natsume tried to find the right words to say. He knew what to say but he could hardly say it. Suddenly, he was speechless. Mikan had always stayed and they promised to be friends forever. Natsume stared at his surroundings and saw people passed and went, just like that. He promised her that he would make everyday count for their friendship. After he promised such big thing, she just ignored him. He was asking himself if there was something he didn't ask apology for that could be the reason why she was snubbing him but he couldn't remember anything. If Ruka or Koko could read his mind right now, they would be ecstatic. Because, without a doubt and with sincerity, he really missed his best friend.

"She… doesn't think about those things," Natsume said, glaring at Ruka again.

Ruka just chuckled nervously. "It's just a guess. You don't have to look at me like that."

"Stop putting ideas in my head, okay?" Natsume ordered irritably.

Natsume could live without his father. Natsume was fine without much supervision from his mother. Aoi could not really control his little brother. But Natsume's best friend was a different topic. Ruka sensed the fear and he knew Koko felt it, too, judging by the sudden look of interest in his face. Ruka couldn't really blame his friend with the amount of dependence he had on his best friend, whom he claimed he was not in love with, because Mikan was always there every time, whenever, whatever, wherever. She made him to be used to the life wherein someone would always help him, console him, be with him, cry with him, stand for him, laugh with him, and the list went on. Ruka made a serious expression because he was about to ask a question that required an honest answer.

"Can you imagine a life without her?" he asked.

Natsume looked at him and muttered, "It never crossed my mind."

"Because you know she will always be there?" Ruka asked.

Natsume smirked, shaking his head, and thinking that Ruka was definitely wrong. "No. Because a life without my annoying, little best friend would be empty."

That answer just made Ruka and Koko smiled. Although, it's friend-zoned, you could still tell how much Natsume valued Mikan. Ruka considered himself defeated. Natsume just gave his best answer and Ruka could not ask anything after that. The blonde-haired boy was severely satisfied with his best pal's answer. Ruka wondered if Natsume would describe Nobara as amazing as that. But, before Ruka could compare the pros and cons of Mikan and Nobara, his attention was caught by Koko's silent aura.

"You seem quiet, Koko. Something wrong?" Ruka asked.

Koko shook his head. "Nothing. I just… "

"Just what?" Ruka trailed.

"Nothing," Koko replied.

Ruka said in a worried tone that was purposely done to make Koko guilty the words, "Okay. If you don't want to talk about it."

Koko waved his hands in midair and defended himself. "No, it's not like that. I just don't think that it is an important topic to tell," he said.

Ruka narrowed his eyes and said, "Just like what I said, it's alright if you don't want to talk about it."

They did not need to know about what happened to Mikan the other day. Koko was aware that there was no need to tell anyone since it would not do anything and he was assured by Natsume's answer earlier. It was all he needed to know, that Natsume wanted Mikan in his life as much as Mikan did in hers. As a friend of Mikan and Natsume, he could just wish that these two's friendship would always be there, that no matter what comes in their way, they would overcome it together. Koko knew that Mikan would eventually back to being normal since for her also, a life without Natsume was definitely empty.

* * *

><p>Anna wanted to eat quietly but she couldn't help the urge to ask Mikan a few questions. To start with, Mikan was having lunch with them, for three days straight, without going to Natsume's table anymore. That had never happened since she met Mikan. Whatever happened, she always, always, visited Natsume every lunch. And seeing Mikan eating so quiet was like a new image for Anna. She could not help but to observe the brunette for days. Anna could tell that Mikan was taking her life too seriously and it was not the Mikan whom she had met back in freshmen year wherein she was very carefree and energetic. But Anna thought that the reason for the lesser energy Mikan had now was not because of Natsume alone but because the brunette was also growing up. Anna eyed Nonoko and she seemed to be having the same state of mind as her. Nonoko was also noticing Mikan's gloomy atmosphere and constant silence.<p>

"You seem to be lying low," said Nonoko.

Mikan dropped her fork and asked, "Huh?"

Anna shook her head and narrowed her eyes at the same time and said, "Three days have passed and you are still not talking to your best friend."

"We fought longer than this," Mikan stated. "I remember, one time, it lasted a week," she added.

"But you said you two already talked about it," Nonoko reminded, her voice was squeaking.

Mikan disregarded her utensils completely and lay back on the chair. She focused her eyes on the table and not on her two friends. At first, she shrugged her shoulders before saying, "Well… I just thought that I should learn on how to survive a day or a week and more without him so in the end, I won't be hurt too much. Like, it would only be normal for me to barely see him around."

That sounded so different. It was so not Mikan. Even Hotaru glanced at Mikan after saying that. The girl, whose hope never faltered, sounded conceding now. What happened, they all wanted to ask. What caused Mikan to say those words? Mikan gave them a sad smile that was telling them not to think about it because everything was in her control. Would everything change just like that? Was ten years of friendship that easy to penetrate? They wanted to find out the source of Mikan's sad smiles and lifeless attitude. As the brunette's friends, they wanted to do something.

Mikan noticed the look of concern on her friends' eyes. "Don't worry. We are still friends and will always be."

They did not know if they would be happy with that statement or not. Natsume and Mikan were friends and would always be. Ouch. That must have hurt on Mikan's part. Everything could be easier if Mikan could just forget about her love or if Natsume would just accept her feelings. Love was supposed to be a happy feeling and not the kind of feeling that would cause you to cry over that person again and again. To be loved by the person you loved. That was the only thing Mikan was wishing for her entire life. But the world was not about love and love only. There were still many things out there that could be enjoyable. Being single was not entirely boring and everyone in their table knew it. They were still in high school and ha d a lot ahead. They could experience more things in the future and they did not need to rush.

One and a half years in high school was not enough to experience every happiness and sadness but it could be memorable if they would make everyday count. It was too early to think of this.

Anna nodded and asked, "So, do you wanna go shopping?"

"For what?" Mikan asked, uninterested.

"Dress for the Winter Dance," Nonoko answered.

Mikan tried to remember what the date was as of now and asked, "Isn't it too early?"

Nonoko gaped and shook her head quickly. "No way. It's three months from now."

Mikan rolled her eyes. "Precisely."

"You don't sound excited," Anna commented, frowning. "That's odd because you were so excited about this dance weeks ago," she added.

"It's just a dance," Mikan replied.

Anna was shocked and exclaimed, "Woah! Did I hear that just right? You are actually not excited for the dance?"

Mikan's eyes widened at her friend's reaction. "Of course, I'm excited but I don't think I need to show it."

"Have you gotten a date?" asked Nonoko.

The brunette shrugged. "I don't need one." Mikan sounded so bitter at that because weeks ago, she asked Natsume to be her date in the dance and he just rejected her which she did not think much about but the pain… the pain was somehow there.

"How about you, Hotaru?" Nonoko asked again.

"I can go with Mikan," Hotaru answered.

Anna hit the table. "What? Please go out with somebody else this year, Hotaru. For a change."

"I have my own rules," replied Hotaru coldly.

"You always go with Mikan," Anna whined.

"No one said it's prohibited."

"But this is our second to the last Winter Dance!" Anna exclaimed again.

Hotaru smirked. "Perfect. Then I'll have the chance to change my partner next year."

"This is hopeless," Anna groaned.

Mikan laughed at the interaction of her friends in front of her and said, "Come on, guys. You should stop pestering Hotaru."

Hotaru glanced at her. "I can handle this just fine, Mikan."

"If you say so."

"Mikan?" Nonoko called.

Mikan's head turned quickly and asked, "Yes?"

"It's really rare to see you this lifeless," Nonoko said and continued, "What happened? You know, you can always tell us and you don't have to worry about us judging you because we have never done that. If we said something bad, well, it's mainly because we want you to realize something. I hate seeing you like that. It's not like you. Whatever it is, please tell us."

Mikan smiled thankfully at Nonoko but still, she wouldn't say a thing because there was no more to say. She already told them about what happened the other day. "Thanks for worrying Nonoko but I'll be fine," she assured.

"Okay," Nonoko said, still worried.

The brunette suddenly gave them a big grin. "Listen, to make it up to you. I'll join you guys in shopping."

Anna quickly cheered. "Yes! Thanks, Mikan."

* * *

><p>In the end, Anna and Nonoko had not found any dresses that were to their liking. They were too choosy and their tastes in clothes were too fabulous and picky. They either chose dresses that were inappropriate for the occasion or too much for the occasion. With all the walking they had done, they just ended up eating lots of foods. Mikan enjoyed spending time with her friends and she knew that Hotaru enjoyed it, too. They had fun. Spending time with your girl friends once in a while could really relieve your stress and make you forget your problems even for a little while. No one had mentioned Natsume's name which really helped Mikan to genuinely enjoy her time with her friends.<p>

They talked about everything, anything under the sun. Mikan realized how much she was missing due to spending every day, weekdays and weekends, with Natsume. Not that she was regretting it but dividing your time for everything was indeed important. Learning on how to live a day without Natsume at all had been her recent struggle. She was not an idiot to believe that nothing will change after everything. Even though she talked to Natsume about the indirect rejection, she was still thinking about it. In her head, she was summarizing the possibilities, the impossibilities, the natural occurrences, and the pain.

She was right in front of Natsume's house. She could see the lights on the Hyuuga's living room and dining room. Mikan glanced at her watch and saw that it was dinner time already. She had not talked to him for days and he seemed to be fine with it. He did not even approach her and that just added to the pain and heavy feeling. If that was how he wanted it, then let it be like that. She really had no plan on talking to him sooner. Well, this was not the first time they did not talk to each other for days but what was different about this one was that they ended up being fine last time they talked. Mikan sighed and continued walking to reach their house. There was no point in thinking about these things in front of Natsume's huge house.

"Mom?" Mikan called out.

Yuka was about to cross the living room when her daughter called. She looked pretty busy, with three plates on her hand which made Mikan think. Yuka greeted her daughter with a smile and said, "Great, you're here. You are just in time."

Mikan tried to look around to find if they have a visitor. "Why do you have three plates in your hands, Mom?" she asked as she placed her bag on the table.

"Oh, about that," Yuka yelled from the kitchen. "We have a visitor," she added.

It didn't take long for the visitor to reveal himself. Mikan was shocked to see him standing in front of him, holding a bowl of vegetable salad. She tried not to act too happy about it because it would defeat the purpose of surviving a week without Natsume. She was glued on her spot, standing awkwardly, and said, "Natsume?" The moment his name left her mouth, he started walking towards her.

Yuka appeared in front of Natsume, stole the bowl of salad, and explained. "He is not exactly a visitor because you know that he's our family. He said he feels like having dinner with us. Oh, I'll prepare the rest of the dinner. See you later, kids."

"What are you doing here?" she asked and when Natsume already smirked, she quickly added, "And don't give me a sarcastic answer."

"Jeez, what a serious person."

She crossed her arms. "I am serious, Natsume."

He rested his back on the wall, crossed his arms, too, and stared at her. "Well, you're not talking to me."

She was supposed to be happy with that statement but she instead, she questioned him. "That's it? That's your reason for going all the way here just to have dinner?"

Natsume smiled at her. "Believe me, it's not much effort." He was pertaining on his house being just across from the Sakuras.

"Answer seriously," she ordered.

His back left the wall and he started travelling around the living room, Mikan's eyes did not left his figure. He studied the paintings in the room and said, "As I have said, you're avoiding me."

"You got a problem with that?" Mikan asked, annoyed.

"It's unusual and uncomfortable," he simply replied.

"Uh-huh. In what sense?" she dared to ask.

Natsume made himself comfortable in the couch and said in his usual manner, "You know you are basically half of my life so it's really weird not talking to you for a day and especially for a week, if you happen to plan on ignoring me for a span of seven days."

She walked near to him. "You have lots of other friends, Natsume. You can always talk to them like we do," she reminded.

He simply turned his head to look at her and drawled out, "Unfortunately, they are not you."

He almost made her speechless with that statement. She gripped the hem of her top and with head lowered down, she mumbled, "Stop saying such words."

Natsume broke his gaze to her and said, "Sorry."

"I don't want to ignore or avoid you," Mikan cleared himself.

He stood up and walked near her. "Then, why do it?" he asked, his tone desperate for an answer. "We were fine and I even told you that I will make our everyday count because college is just around the corner and then the next day, you ignored me? Do you know how that make me feel? Like my promise to you was just nothing. So, why?"

"Because I have to," she replied with her voice barely audible.

"Don't give me that vague answer. What are you thinking, not talking to me for that long?" Natsume asked again, his voice was rising.

Mikan ran toward the garden, afraid that her Mom might hear them. She felt Natsume followed her and when she reached the corner, she turned to him, and said, "It's not like this is the first time. You know very well that whenever we fight, we don't talk to each other for days."

Natsume ridiculed her. "Last time I know, we are already fine."

"Yes, but, you see, I'm just practicing myself."

"Go on."

"On how to survive a week without you!" she finally answered. "And you are not making this any easier with all your impatience. Your coming here is not part of my plan. I've decided to live my life without you for at least a week, just to know how it goes. Just to see how I can do this. Just to discover if I can really survive. It's hard, okay? But I'm willing to try. Sooner or later, we can never hang out as frequent as we are doing now. I can never do the things I am freely to do because you'll have your sweet girlfriend. Again, I'm just practicing."

"I hate you doing that," he admitted.

Mikan snapped at him. "What? How can you hate it? I'm doing this for your favor. It will make you feel less guilty."

"I think the guilty feeling is nothing compare to you not talking to me," he quickly said.

She was caught off-guard with his words. Again. For the thousandth time. She hit him in the shoulder but it was so light, it barely affected him, but still she continued hitting him with her eyes looking on the grassy ground. She hated that she loved him. She hated the fact that he could make her feel this way. It was so right but then again, he didn't want to let it be. Good thing was, she was not crying. No, not until the dinner was over or not, ever. She was sure that she didn't want to stop hitting him until he stopped it by holding her hand and putting it down. She looked up to him and saw how beautiful the person standing in front of her was.

She stared at him and he stared back.

"Natsume, I'll hate you someday if you will take those words back."

"It's funny," he said, smiling.

"What?"

He let go of her hand and switched position. "You, me, hating each other."

She understood and agreed by saying, "You're right. The last thing I want to do in my life is hate you. No, I would never, ever, think like that. I would never hate you."

"Same here," he said and took a moment of silence before saying, "I'm sorry that you need to hear that."

"Let's not talk about that," Mikan requested.

"Okay."

Natsume was about to say something when a figure appeared on the benches in the garden. "Mikan, Natsume? Dinner's ready."

It was amazing on how Yuka could prepare a lot within such a short time. Ever since Mikan could remember, it was just Yuka and her who would always share this wide dining table. Sometimes, the Hyuugas would join them but during on ordinary days, it would just be the two of them. It was hard for Mikan, at first. They could be three, who shared this dining table or they could be even more, if her father only stayed. They live in such a big house and yet there were on the two of them. It was lonely most of the time but as the years passed, they learned to cope with it, especially Yuka. Mikan had a hard time coping up with the loneliness.

That was why she started visiting the Hyuugas every weekend because she couldn't stand the quietness of the house. Sometimes, Yuka was needed for their business and she needed to go out of town, Mikan would volunteer to sleep in the Hyuugas. Good thing that they were just steps away. When loneliness crept out, Mikan could not help but think that they were supposed to be a happy family. She supposed to have a father. She did not know that fathers could have the capability to leave their child as simple as that and because of that, she dreamt to have a happy family someday. Someday was still far away.

"It's so nice of you to join us tonight. It's been almost a year since you had your last meal inside this house. I could not arrange an outing with your Mom since she's busy as I am. It's really a good thing that you and Mikan attend the same school and are neighbors. It's a lot easier to communicate, isn't it?" Yuka cheerily said and asked.

"Yeah," Natsume answered.

"Did Mikan tell you about her father?" she asked.

Mikan looked up to her mother. "Mom. I think that's a pretty private matter that should not be discussed in front of food."

Yuka just smiled. "Sorry, my dear daughter. I just couldn't help think that Natsume made you decide to see your father."

"Yes but… "

"I have to thank you for that," Yuka interrupted, looking at Natsume.

Natsume nodded at the gratitude. "I just gave an advice. The decision was all up to Mikan."

"Same thing," Yuka said, giggling like a child. "I miss hanging out with your family. Why don't we plan an outing?" she asked.

Mikan pouted. "But we have an annual outing with their family, Mom."

Yuka turned to her daughter. "I know but I want this to be exclusive for them and for us. Why don't we do it two weeks from now? I'm pretty sure your Mom has already cleared her schedule by then."

Natsume remembered his schedule. "I don't think I'll be available by then. We have a Math Camp that can take a week."

"You are the representative for that?" Mikan asked in disbelief.

Yuka frowned but quickly got an idea. "Oh, that's unfortunate. Well, then we should do it after that camp to celebrate your victory."

"That's a good idea," Natsume agreed.

Mikan stared at her best friend and muttered, "Wait, you didn't tell me that."

"How can I if you're not talking to me?" Natsume retorted.

"Mikan, what is this? You are not talking to him? Are you two on a fight again?" Yuka asked immediately. Both families knew on how Natsume and Mikan worked when they fight. They quarrel like a married couple and after that, they would ignore each other for days. It was a system.

The brunette rolled her eyes. She did not want to explain anything to her mother. "We're fine now, Mom. We just had a little misunderstanding. But still… you should have found a way to tell me." She said the last statement while looking at Natsume.

He simply shrugged her shoulders. "It's just a competition. You'll know sooner or later."

"Kids, whatever talk you are engaging in, please do it after meal."

Mikan bit her lip. "Sorry, Mom."

"Sorry," Natsume said.

"Resume eating your food."

Yuka let Mikan to skip from doing the dishes tonight. Mainly, because she wanted Natsume and Mikan to talk already. Actually, as Mikan's mother, she was actually glad that Natsume visited their home. She had a chat with Natsume for a bit but too careful to ask about his current relationship with her daughter because prying in such a private matter was not motherly. She was the type who would wait for her daughter to open it up to her. Natsume actually came for to their house not to have dinner but to talk to her daughter. That was a nice strategy.

She saw her daughter sitting on the steps to get to their garden and not too long ago had Natsume joined Mikan. They actually looked good together. Yuka felt that she was, again, messing up with their private time so she left them alone.

"I'll stay there for five days if we happen to win the first round and I intend to win so we will definitely stay there for almost a week," Natsume said after he took a seat beside Mikan.

"We?" Mikan asked.

"Me, Nobara, and Jinno."

Mikan snorted. "Nobara? Wow, fate really knows how to work its magic."

"Look, we're two of the best students in Math… "

The brunette glanced at him and said, "Exactly my point."

Natsume poked her in the forehead for acting like a jealous girlfriend rather than a jealous best friend. He poked her repeatedly until she tried stopping him but she was a failure at that. "Mikan, it's nothing personal. Purely academics."

"Yah, I know that. And you should know that I'm proud of you. Jinno only chooses the best."

Natsume stopped poking her and looked at the sky. "Honestly, I rather draw than attend this camp and win this competition. If it weren't for the scholarship that Nobara wants badly, I wouldn't say yes."

"So, you're practically winning for her?" she asked.

Natsume looked at her. "We're going to win for her scholarship."

"Same thing."

He frowned at her jealousy but that didn't stop her from telling everything because it was… just… so right. "I'm also taking this opportunity to know her better. Naturally, I shouldn't be saying you this but this how we work so I'll still tell you everything."

"So much for purely academics," she complained and Natsume just chuckled. Mikan smiled absentmindedly and said, "I like that. Please tell me everything always."

"I think she likes me," Natsume said, glancing at her, waiting for her reaction.

"Oh my, are you lovesick?" she mumbled.

"That's stupid," Natsume commented, smiling.

"It's a pretty perfect term to describe what you are feeling now," Mikan said.

"Find a term that is less stupid," he joked.

Mikan pouted. "How cruel."

"Movie Night is coming," he reminded.

She looked around before ending her gaze to him. "It's next week. I'm aware. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Mikan was too busy playing with the grass on her feet until she heard Natsume mumbled, "I wouldn't miss it for the world, too."

"You guys made up already?" Yuka asked all of a sudden from behind them.

Mikan turned her back and answered, "Yeah."

Natsume stood up and said, "I probably should go, Auntie."

Yuka glanced at the clock and it was almost late. Mikan stood up, too. "Oh, right. Thank you for coming here, Natsume. I enjoyed having dinner with you. Tell your Mom that I miss her so much."

"I will. Goodnight, Auntie."

"Goodnight."

Natsume's gaze turned to Mikan. "I'll see you at school tomorrow," he said.

Mikan waved at him with a smile. "Yep, see you tomorrow."

They watched Natsume as he went inside their house. Mikan felt a pat on her head and with that, she quickly turned around to face her mother.

"Mikan, dear."

"We're fine now," she answered.

Yuka gave her daughter a very serene look. "I am very supportive to whatever you want to do and I think Natsume is more important as a friend than anything. You have a beautiful friendship."

"Ruining it is like ruining my life, right?" Mikan asked that turned out to be sarcastic.

Yuka shook her head and smiled at her daughter. "No, Mikan. Love doesn't ruin things. It actually makes up things. But if you really love him, you will also embrace the decisions he makes."

Mikan nodded sadly and said with a smile, "I think I'm getting there, Mommy."

She hugged her daughter and patted her head again. "That's good to know, dear. Now, wash yourself and go to sleep. You have school tomorrow."

Mikan smiled shyly. "Mom, I'm not twelve anymore."

"I know. But you'll forever be my baby."

The little brunette smiled wider this time. "Yeah, I know."

* * *

><p>Narumi walked in into the faculty room in such a good mood. The sky was clear and the weather was fine. He looked over the room first before entering completely just to know if someone got here before he was. He quickly saw Serina, his closest friend in the faculty members and his partner in crime when it comes to Natsume and Mikan. He saw her holding her cup of coffee and on her table were two pieces of doughnuts. Narumi suddenly remembered that he had yet to have breakfast and his stomach was growling. But he couldn't let hunger ruin his mood that easy.<p>

"Good morning, Serina."

"Hey, Narumi. You got the new memo from the principal?" Serina asked.

Narumni placed his things on his table and asked, "What memo?"

"About the educational trip of the school three weeks from now and the annual Org Ball a week from that," Serina stated.

"Oh yeah, it's this time of the year again, huh?" Narumi asked, smiling widely.

"Aren't you excited?" Serina teased, offering her piece of doughnut to Narumi before taking an actual bite.

Narumi took a seat and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just happy that the students will get to relax again even after a few days," he admitted.

"Yeah, and the Winter Dance is approaching, too. That's another big event."

He nodded. "I agree. We will be pretty busy."

Serina took a seat as Narumi opened his clear book to see what he had scheduled today.

"By the way, how was your project proposal for the repainting of the lockers?" Narumi asked.

Serina seemed to be ecstatic remembering about her project proposal. "Oh! It was approved. Just yesterday."

He smiled at his friend. "That's good news. I thought they are still questioning you with the locker ownership."

Serina laughed. "They'd be ridiculous if they do. I mean, what is wrong with letting a girl be nearer to the boy he likes? Come on, it's just a locker."

"They keep saying you have favoritism," Narumi said.

Serina looked calm and confident. "But the students don't think so because they are obviously fans of Mikan's journey of winning her best friend's heart. Isn't that one of the best love stories ever told?"

"I'm afraid they are not told yet," Narumi answered worriedly.

The female teacher simply chuckled and said, "Well, someday."

"By the way, have I told you about Natsume's little declaration of love?" he asked.

Serina smiled at what Narumi just reminded her. "You don't have to. It was going all over the school. Now, ain't that sweet? What an adorable love story."

"I couldn't agree more," Narumi said with a smile.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>I have bad updating habit. It actually took me three weeks to update this chapter. Sorry for that super delay and I don't want to explain myself furthermore because I know that you know the reason. By the way, I just want to thank <strong>_**pat**_** for mentioning Change Your Mind for your review for the last chapter. It fits the story. So, how about, you guys? Do you know a song that can represent Chasing You? Music inspires me the most when it comes to formulating a new story to write. I'll be glad to read all your suggestions. **

**What can you say about the writing? About the pacing of the story? Do I need to improve on something? What can you say about Mikan, Natsume, Ruka, Hotaru, Anna, Nonoko, and everyone else? If you like this chapter or have some thoughts about it, just type so. **


	10. Flowers From You

**A/N: **I do not own Melt My Heart to Stone.

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Ten**

_**Flowers from You**_

* * *

><p><em>I'm the only one in love<em>

* * *

><p>"Hello, daughter-in-law."<p>

The brunette was busy searching for some foods in the fridge when Kaoru Hyuuga called her. She quickly turned around and closed the fridge, unable to find something to eat. Normally, that would have been an embarrassing move to be seen by the woman of the house but since the Hyuuga residence was Mikan's second home, it was just a usual thing for her to act. She waved at Kaoru Hyuuga who was dressed in corporate attire and she could easily tell that Kaoru would be attending to some business errand again. She was followed by her son, Natsume. Mikan was glad that she could have at least had a short conversation with her precious auntie before she left.

"Hello, Auntie. It's been so long. How are you?" Mikan asked politely, giving her a kiss in the cheek.

Kaoru kissed her back in the cheek, gave her a knowing look and smiled at her. "Fine, fine. Natsume told me that Yuka has missed me and I'm planning on going there tomorrow."

Mikan gave a bright smile and said with full confidence, "She would love that."

"Great. Is today the first Friday of the month?" Kaoru asked with a wide grin.

The brunette nodded. "Yes, it's Movie Night."

The traditions surrounding Mikan and Natsume's friendship were becoming ten times better because everyone around them was involved and agreed with it. They would hang out somewhere and both families would express their gladness for it, one would eat dinner in another's house and both families would see that as a sign of unending closeness, they would watch a movie every month and both sides were ecstatic about it. But, of course, they never expressed their happiness openly in front of Mikan and Natsume because they did not want to control or pressure the two. The whole world agreed with their friendship despite on how it started and what was it going through now and without a doubt, the whole world would agree with their love story if something like that happens. Everything seemed so right when they were together. Mikan's love for Natsume was something the whole world was aware of and yet they managed to act like normal best friends. Really amazing if the people around them would be asked about it.

Kaoru glanced at her back, saw her precious son, smirked at Mikan, and said a little loudly, "I knew it. Natsume cleaned his room last night."

Mikan giggled. "Wow. Who knew, right?" she teased.

Then the two women laughed. Kaoru and Mikan always had a mother-daughter-like relationship. Maybe because Kaori and Yuka were alike in terms of caring for their child and Mikan noticed this and became comfortable with her Auntie Kaoru. The same went for Natsume who considered hi Aunt Yuka his second mother but since he was the independent type, he rarely consulted Yuka about just anything. Everything was in their favor. Everything about the Hyuugas and the Sakuras was connected. It was like they were bounded to be close with one another and share everything with each one.

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here," Natsume said from behind.

Kaoru turned around and pat him in the shoulder. "Sorry about that, dear. I apologize if I intend to forget about you whenever my future daughter-in-law comes."

She liked to joke about that sometimes because for Kaori Hyuuga, Mikan Sakura was the girl for his son. Sure, she knew that Natsume had not liked Mikan but Kaoru could not comprehend why, so instead of whining about it to his son, she just decided to help Mikan. She knew Mikan and Natsume were perfect together but her stupid son chose not to accept her Dearest Mikan's feelings. So, to let Natsume know that she supported Mikan, she would express it by teasing but not always as it could get embarrassing on Mikan's side in rare times.

Mikan raised an eyebrow at Natsume. "You heard that, Natsume? Your Mom loves me."

Natsume smirked at her. "Wow. Who knew, right?" he teased back and Mikan just glared at him.

Kaoru looked at her watch and bid the kids goodbye. "Okay, kids. You two have fun. Don't do anything except for eating and watching the movie," she reminded in her own motherly way.

Her son gave her a look and drawled out, "Mom."

Kaoru just laughed and got her things. "Okay, okay. I have a dinner meeting. See you two tomorrow." She then gave Mikan and Natsume a kiss on the cheek. The two led her at the door and waved their goodbyes.

"I love your mother," Mikan exclaimed when Kaoru was out of sight.

Natsume crossed his arms and looked at his friend. "Yeah, because she's in favor of you."

Mikan shook her head and said honestly, "Not just because of that. She can still be that cheerful even after everything."

Natsume just stared at her, thinking that what she said was correct. "Yeah, you're right."

"It would be so not cool if you are like your mother," she said, wrinkling her nose, imagining if Natsume acted that way, so sociable, so approachable.

Natsume dismissed the thought. "I can't imagine myself being like her. She's too friendly and not to mention a martyr."

"You and Aoi are so much like your father minus the negative part."

"Don't worry. I'm aware of that."

Mikan seemed surprised at what she said so she made a quick but honest recovery by saying, "But your Dad is cool, too."

"He used to be," Natsume said.

The topic seemed to be getting serious and more personal. But it was not uncomfortable for Natsume since he liked talking about his problems to Mikan. He knew that they could relate with each other since they both had problems with their own father and Natsume knew that Mikan would just understand because she was like that always. Natsume was glad to have Mikan here tonight. He was feeling heavy for the days Mikan was avoiding him but the moment they made up, he felt relief and joy although he would not admit that to her.

"What are we going to watch tonight?" he heard Mikan asked.

"Does it ever matter to you?" he asked, making her pout.

Mikan seemed to get what was Natsume trying to say. "You're right. I only care about the food."

"I had your favorites cooked," he informed and went inside the house again.

Mikan cheered. "For dinner? That's awesome."

Natsume smiled secretly at her reaction even though he already expected it. "Right after that, we'll start the marathon."

"Any movie is fine as long as it is not scary," Mikan said as he followed Natsume's trail.

He turned around to face her and with an evil smirk, he said, "Now, that you mentioned it."

Mikan panicked, regretting that she had to remind her best friend that simple fact. "No, Natsume! Don't even try."

He dismissed her panic by saying, "Yeah, yeah, as if I will listen to you."

With what he said, Mikan found a good retort. "Don't be shy. Admit it. You always listen to me."

"Says who?" he asked, frowning.

"Says the whole world," Mikan answered with a wide smile.

"Whatever," he mumbled.

They finally reached Natsume's room with Mikan stepping first inside. Indeed, Natsume cleaned his room since it looked tidier than usual. Natsume rarely let someone inside his room because he wanted to keep the privacy and with that, the maids were not allowed to enter in his room. His family and Mikan were the only ones who could enter his room. The family thing was a normal one but as for Mikan, it was one of those best friend privileges. In Natsume's big room was a small entertainment area and in there where they would hang out tonight.

Movie Night was not always in Natsume's house. The place was alternating; this month it was in Natsume's and next month was going to be in Mikan's. It could have been awkward for a boy and a girl to be alone in one room especially in their teenage years but it was all normal as long as those boy and girl were the best of friends. Although Mikan loved Natsume, she never considered Movie Night as a romantic thing because she knew better than that and she knew very well that this is one of those moments that she shared with Natsume that was strictly for their friendship only.

They sat on the carpeted floor filled with pillows and Mikan looked around, feeling excited. She felt Natsume sat beside her and she immediately asked, "Do you think ten years from now we can still do this?"

"Why not?" Natsume asked, could not come up with anything that could stop Movie Night from happening.

She faced him. "Won't we be busy by that time?" she asked.

"I'll be busy taking over our business and you'll be busy eating?" Natsume teased.

Mikan quickly defended herself. "No way! I will be working."

"Sure," Natsume continued on teasing.

"Do you want that? To manage your family's business?" asked Mikan in a serious and concerned tone.

Natsume shrugged. "I love drawing but I have to be practical. Besides, Mom had already asked me to do it."

She encircled her arm in his and leaned on his shoulder. "Unbelievably, you are such a good son."

"I'm not. I'm just doing my part. I don't want to wreck this family anymore with having conversations about my future. I'm sick with all the shouting since it is unnecessary."

Mikan looked up to him. "But still, be yourself."

He poked her in the forehead and with a smile, he said, "I will. And you, too."

She released her hold from him. "I want to take up Medicine but that sounds too ambitious," she said uncomfortably, thinking if the genius beside him was the right person to tell it but he was and always will.

Natsume shrugged his shoulders simply. "It is but so what? No one's going to stop you and no one said that wanting to take Medicine has prohibitions."

"I don't think my brain can handle that."

Natsume searched for her eyes and made her look at him. "Medicine? Do you doubt yourself?"

Mikan bit her lip and nodded sadly. "Yeah. I mean, if I can barely get high marks now, how can I even enter into a medical school? How can I even handle the pressure? The thick books? The terms? The procedures and the rationales behind it. Just by thinking of it now makes my head hurt. "

The raven-haired boy understood his best friend's worries but he would not persuade Mikan if she had not had any potential and add to that, a dream would always be a dream, no matter how or when, if you really want it, nothing should stop you. "Grades are just numbers and if you will really work hard, there is no way you cannot get what you want," he advised to her.

Mikan stared at him. "For real?" she asked in disbelief.

"It doesn't apply in everything though," he said, referring to her feelings.

"I know that," Mikan muttered softly.

"I think you'll become a great doctor," Natsume said. "You may have not noticed it but you are good at what you do. Don't let your insecurities drown you."

Mikan was touched at Natsume's support at her dream. Just like her to him, he also always believed in her. He believed at her capabilities, talents, skills, and whatever knowledge she had. Natsume was not the type to insult you to hurt your feelings and for you to realize the truth, he was insulting a person just for humor and he did not mean it in any way. Natsume was the perfect best friend for her. Mikan smiled at him thankfully, thinking all the good things they had been together and his unending support. Moments like this, the genuine support, the overflowing living proof that you were indeed lucky to have a best friend in this lifetime were the very reason why Natsume did not want to accept her love. He was protecting this beautiful friendship.

Calling her love for him selfish was true, somehow. Mikan knew it more than anyone else. She was willing to risk their friendship for her feelings. She was that selfish and yet Natsume called her selfless. As she looked at her best friend now, she knew that someone was waiting for him, someone that loved him and he loved back, and her? Sooner or later, she would be on the sidelines, she could not be able to do what she was doing for a decade. That day would come when Natsume would finally tell her to stop and she was readying big time for that day. She suddenly remembered the timeline-like trail of photos plastered on the wall of her room wherein pictures of her and Natsume since they were little children were posted. In time, she would have to removed it but she just wished that she would remove it because it was time and not because of any other reason.

Many called her lucky to be the Natsume Hyuuga's closest friend. The crimson-eyed guy would sometimes contradict this statement, saying that he was the one lucky to have her. But, if only he could look at her now, he would see how in love she was and how lucky she felt every time they were together.

She nudged him in the side and said, "Your exhibit is fast approaching. You have this Math Competition and you are determined to win. You don't study but you still get high marks. Your club acts like you are their secret weapon, always making you join contests and what is so amazing is that you always win. You are one of the sought-after guys in school even with your snobbish attitude. You are rich, smart, talented, and can do everything. Tell me, do you have some secret?"

If he had any secret, she could have known it long ago. He just smiled at her compliments and answered it, "Don't forget that my family is quite broken and I'm not exactly thrilled about the Math Camp. The exhibit is putting pressure into my life but it's fine, it's normal. Winning is not everything. Sometimes, it's just a rotten title. But doing what you really want to do give you the happiness more than winning any contest could give. The sought-after part is pretty stupid since I don't really care about that. I don't have any secret, Mikan."

"But, admit it, you are gifted."

"Maybe," he said just to annoy her.

Mikan frowned. "So, unfair."

"Live with it," Natsume said proudly.

They heard a knock all of a sudden and Mikan immediately knew what it meant. "Oh, great. Dinner is here." She made her way to the door and grabbed the trays of food from the maid who delivered it. She then excitedly placed it on the little table in front of the television. She quickly commented the moment she removed the covers, "Wow, these look delicious."

"You and your stomach," Natsume said, smiling at her hungry look.

"Stop talking there and let's eat, Natsume!" she exclaimed, taking a bite on the soft bread that was for dessert.

"Silly, little girl as always."

* * *

><p>Dinner was fabulous. Mikan was not satisfied with the quantity of food first delivered to Natsume's room so she asked for the maids to give them some more and her wish was commanded straight away. Her tireless mouth and growling stomach were all satisfied. She even ignored Natsume's rude comments at her way and amount of eating. Foods at the Hyuuga household were always delicious maybe because, they only hire people who were experienced at a certain chore like cooking. It always felt like eating in a fancy restaurant. The meat was soft, easy to slice, and savory. The vegetables were well-cooked and well-seasoned. Even the juice was fantastic especially the dessert which Mikan enjoyed the most.<p>

Natsume was satisfied watching his best friend eat in her delight. She might have forgotten about her table manners tonight but Natsume could not care less about it because as long as she was enjoying, he was feeling the same. He tried to steal some of her foods just to annoy her and he seemed to be successful in that part since she tried her best to protect the food against him. He wanted to let out a loud laugh which was so uncharacteristic f him when she did that funny pose while rice and the dish were around her mouth. He even wiped her mouth just to remove the rice spread over it and she just laughed at him. Sometimes, he was like taking care of a small kid.

Mikan could barely stand after that heavy dinner. She was rubbing her stomach, waiting for her burp. She certainly enjoyed the dinner so much and later, there were more foods to come. Oh, joy. The benefits of having a wealthy friend. Natsume was sketching her, smirking at the process maybe because her face was priceless.

"Natsume?" she asked, she could barely speak.

"Hmm?"

"Can I still come into your room? Eat with you, watch you get out from the shower, visit you every weekends and every time I want when you and Nobara become an official couple? Can I still use your computer? Would you still sketch me?" she asked in one go.

Natsume continued on drawing her in her satisfied-stomach glory. "This is the last time we are going to have this discussion," he said seriously, wanting to get rid of Mikan's repetitive doubts.

"Okay."

"Nothing will ever change," he firmly said, his eyes bored to her.

"Okay," Mikan said again.

He took her agreement a positive note and continued. "All your apprehensions clear it all out. It's not like you."

"I will."

"Come on, let's start."

The film they had watched almost ran for two hours.

The movie was not a horror or a suspense one after all. Still, Natsume teased her about being such a scared cat when it comes to being exposed for a little in the dark or being left alone in a large room. The movie was a romantic one with a sloppy ending. There was a boy and a girl who loved each other so much. It was shown in the movie how their feelings developed and how deep was their love. Everything was in place, in other words, perfect until the boy realized the bad effects of being so much in love with a person. They were becoming too possessive, too stubborn, and too jealous and with that he decided to end the relationship. He insisted that it was for the better, for the best, to find their selves again but the girl was too blinded by her love.

They went onto separate ways, lived a life without each other, and learned to survive. They met again with the boy having the same and exact feeling for the girl but unlike him, the girl finally moved on. He tried to become close to her again but sadly nothing happened. Sure, the girl moved on but that did not mean that the feelings were gone, too. She admitted to him that she was still in love with him but sadly, the right time for their love had not come yet and if they could just wait for a little longer, maybe they would find their selves at each other again. In the end, there was no conclusion.

"Now, that's stupid," Mikan paused and went on, "What are they waiting for? They are adult for heaven's sake and the right time was there, at that moment, at those seconds."

"Well, what do you want? For them to force each other to love one another just because they think time is running out?" Natsume asked warily. "They made the right decision and that movie just showed that not every ending is a happy one," he added.

"I know that but still…! Love makes up things, not break them!" she argued.

Natsume rolled his eyes. This always happened after every movie they finished, they argue. "It does not always happen. If it is real love, they will wait."

"If I am the boy, I will never let go of the girl." Mikan declared it with such passion and significance.

"What about development? Growing up would be limited if there are restrictions."

"Like what, pray tell?" she challenged him.

Natsume sighed and started explaining his side for a reason he did not know why. "The people around us, they change. They will go somewhere someday and we could not stop that. We will never grow if we are surrounded by the same group of people every day. Like the boy, do you want the girl to break up to him because of his possessiveness and change of attitude? Of course, not. He prevented it from happening, to save them all from unnecessary heartaches. Giving up something, sometimes, is the greatest kind of bravery."

The brunette was silent after that and started to get sleep so she lay on the couch with Natsume. This could have been an intimate gesture but as friends, it was normal. Her pillow was Natsume's lean shoulder. The only thing illuminating the room was the moonlight. It emphasized Natsume's neat room. She buried her head near his chest and tried to get some sleep. Mikan could not still move on from what Natsume said earlier. She could not decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing to say. She felt his hand on her hair, caressing it.

"Mikan?" she heard him called.

"Yes?" she asked lowly.

"Are you stopping?" he asked like it was a normal thing to question.

She looked up to see him. "Why? You don't want to?" she teasingly asked.

"In your dreams," he said.

"Then, why are you even asking?" Mikan spat lightly.

"Just let me know, if you will."

Mikan wanted to ask why badly but if he was going to answer just for him to be prepared then she did not need to hear it. He sounded like he was waiting for it although he never mentioned about it again until now. Maybe Natsume was getting tired with tolerating her for a decade. He might be waiting for the right time to completely disregard her feelings and have the disclosure.

"Natsume?" she called out.

"What?"

"Why can't you love me?" she asked with sadness. The truth hurt her.

"I don't want to mess up with our friendship," he simply answered.

She clenched her fist and gained her courage to ask the second question. "So, you never felt anything? Even a little?"

Natsume looked down to see her and with a cold tone, he said, "None."

"Honestly?" Mikan asked for confirmation.

He did not answer. There was no definite reply. He just said, "Let's sleep now." Mikan took the reply as an excuse or a tool to avoid the pain on whatever words he was going to say. They had an enjoyable day together in school and now in his home. Of all the Movie Nights they had, tonight was definitely one of the most personal and memorable.

"Okay," she whispered in reply and felt into a deep slumber.

* * *

><p>Natsume sensed the light that was coming to his room. He opened his eyes slightly and fluttered it just to confirm if it was really the sunlight. He was in the middle of a good sleep and much to his dismay that he woke up already. Mikan was no already beside him since he could feel it and he could see his best friend right before his face with her angelic smile and enchanting eyes. Mikan seemed to be in such a good mood and he was too lazy to ask himself why since he was still sleepy and could go on with sleeping for another day.<p>

"Good morning," Mikan greeted.

"Morning," he replied, burying the pillow in his face, turning his back.

"Hey, don't go back to sleep!" Mikan yelled at him and made his body turn.

"Leave me alone," he groggily said.

Mikan hit him in the shoulder and started shaking him while saying, "It's Saturday and I think we should go out somewhere."

He pushed her lightly and muttered, "I want to sleep."

She remained standing, hands on waist, and her expression was not very pleased. "Come on, you cannot sleep forever. We can use your car to go somewhere out of town."

"No," he quickly replied.

Mikan groaned and jumped onto Natsume's body which was covered in blankets. She made sure that he could feel her weight and hear her whining. "Natsumeeee! Come on. Won't you grant this little request of mine?" she asked, trying to sound cute.

"Just go by yourself," he said like he could not feel Mikan's weight.

Mikan was laughing and asked, "What kind of best friend would say that?"

He pulled the blanket down up to his neck, revealing his face just to talk some sense to Mikan. "A sleepy one," he answered.

She hit him repeatedly with the pillow while laughing manically. She was doing everything that could annoy Natsume and to make him go with her. The idea just hit her this early morning and since it was a free weekend, the timing was perfect. Next week, everyone would be busy. Natsume would undergo review classes with Jinno and Mikan was sure that that review would take Natsume's time.

"Hey, I just want to see something new. Won't you let me?" she asked again.

"You can see that some other day," he groaned.

She hit him again and said in her sad tone since she was near to being rejected again. "Don't be such a lazy ass. Please? For me?"

Her sweet voice made him convinced that Mikan really did want to go out today. Natsume opened his eyes completely and removed the blanket off his body. He did not say any word when he stood up and he could feel that Mikan was watching him. He looked at her and gave his answer which was, "Fine."

"Yes! Thanks. You're the best."

* * *

><p>The drive towards the Hyuugas' rest house wherein the white-sand beach was just a few steps away could take an hour and a half but since it was an early morning and the traffic was not heavy, the trip only took an hour. They just bought their foods on the convenience store they passed by. They had no extra clothes in case they think about swimming. It was all unplanned and the thing they only had was money for the gas and the food. They weren't planning to enter the house since they could just hang out in the sand or inside the car. They had no plans of staying overnight there, too. They agreed to go back when the sun sets since it was one of the reasons why Mikan wanted to go on a beach, to see the sunset.<p>

Natsume offered Mikan soda as he took a seat beside her in the sand. There weren't much people because summer was over months ago and it was still early. The rock formation was their source of shade. Everything was serene as the sound of waves and the feeling of it hugged them. The winds were strong as usual and it was the only thing they could hear when they weren't talking yet. Natsume made sure that his sketchpad was beside him. Mikan suggested that he could take this opportunity to find some things to draw and color them later on. In his recent art works, every subject of it was his best friend and people might think that something more than friendship was happening between them if they did not know better.

"It's nice to be back here," Natsume said, looking at the scenery before him.

"Yeah," Mikan muttered, her chin was resting on her flexed knees. "I'm glad you agreed on coming even though it's unplanned," she added.

"No worries," he assured.

"I suddenly remembered Ruka and Koko," Mikan said out of the blue, smiling at the memory.

"What about them?" Natsume asked, confused on where the topic Ruka and Koko came from.

Mikan shrugged and extended her knees. "They are the kind of friend that you could be thankful forever. I've become closer to them and I just don't know why."

Natsume nodded and informed her, "We always talk about you, you know."

"Really?" Mikan asked, her face was expressing skepticism.

He chuckled in his own manly way and said, "They are your avid fans, by the way."

She pouted and pushed him lightly. "Don't make it sound funny. I'm thankful to them because they support me."

"Koko started all of these. How did you become close to him?" he asked.

Mikan's lips curved up, thinking about the first time she actually had an interaction with Koko. "Well, we talked about you a lot whenever we are assigned to the club assignments together." Her answer was indefinite but somehow it gave Natsume the idea, well, since he was the one who convinced her to join the Publicity Committee.

"Club duties?" he asked, having an idea all of a sudden.

She nodded and explained. "Yes. Like the time when we made the poster for the dance and the calendar for the school's activities for the year. We usually stay late at school to finish those which seemed so responsible of me."

That was it. He knew the answer now but he needed confirmation so he asked still. "Is that why you're there that night?"

Mikan frowned at the sudden mention of that night again. "I thought we've agreed not to talk about it," she said grouchily.

"Koko was there," Natsume stated, hoping he was wrong.

She stared at his eyes for a moment until she broke the gaze and admitted it. "He was," she confirmed.

"I see. That is why he's acting weird. He knows something."

"Koko is a nice guy. You should not think like that about him."

"He's my friend and I'm not thinking badly about him," Natsume assured her.

Natsume could not help but noticed though… the fact that Koko was always there for Mikan. He could be the boy Nobara was waiting for Mikan but somehow, Natsume did not approve the idea. His friend liking his own best friend who happened to like him. That was weird. He was not saying that Koko liked Mikan because maybe it just happened that he was always there whenever Mikan needed someone to hold onto every time he rejected her but thinking about on how it affected Koko, you could easily tell that he cared and not just in a friendly way. He actually comforted Mikan. And now, the idea of Mikan liking another person seemed to be very foreign for Natsume. He knew it could be a good thing but on the back of his mind, he could not help but to feel a little jealousy.

This was what he hated the most. When he could not do what he wanted because he wanted to protect something important.

Mikan's voice was ringing into his ear and she was saying, "I'm kinda glad he was there because if it weren't for him, I would have nothing to lean to."

"You cried in his arms?" he asked and in you could tell that he was annoyed at the fact.

"If you can call it that," Mikan admitted, smiling, unaware of Natsume's unlikely reaction.

"That's awkward," he just said, trying to refrain himself from sounding like a protective boyfriend.

Mikan chuckled, still oblivious. "I know, right? That's why the next day, I apologized to him and gave my gratitude."

"In the form of what?" Natsume inquired.

"Just a kiss in the cheek," she said.

"What?" he asked in surprise, he looked irritated at what he just heard on such a nice day.

Mikan laughed at his reaction. Usually, she could easily sense if Natsume was being jealous or would sometimes tease him about being jealous when in fact, he was not, but this time, it was clear that he was being a little possessive but she could not notice it. "What? Don't look at me like that. It is purely platonic."

"You two seem closer than I think," he commented unhappily.

The brunette nodded at once and said, "Well, he's a great guy. He always listens to me and I'm cool that he is cool about it. He genuinely cares and does not take sides. He doesn't forget that you are his friend, you know. Koko is fun to be with and I like his humorous side since it makes me feel lighter, like everything is simple."

He should not be feeling this. This… jealousy thing. He was supposed to be happy for her and for his friend because they looked like getting along better and better every day. There was no reason for him to feel annoyed or irritated. Sure, she was complimenting Koko. Yeah, she saw Koko as a great guy, a genuine person. Those were true but coming from Mikan, he did not want to hear it. He made a decision a long time ago and he would stick with it but this was one of those times wherein he wanted to thrash that stupid decision out and just let himself be happy and express what he really felt. This was the bad thing of being afraid to risk your friendship for love. You had no right to just be plain happy. He did not know what was happening to him. He made sure that he would never feel this way but, damn.

To clear his mind, he reminded himself that Mikan was his best friend, Nobara was the girl he liked, and Koko was his good friend.

"It's still early. What do you want to do?" he asked.

"I can sit here all day and just talk to you," she said with her signature smile.

"I could never solve you," Natsume said with a smile. What Mikan said indeed put a smile on his face.

Her eyebrows almost met. "What?" she asked.

"If you happen to be a Math problem," Natsume said, smirking.

"Should I be happy with that statement or not?" Mikan asked, placing a frustrated expression.

He simply shrugged and answered indefinitely. "It's entirely up to you," he said.

"Explain," Mikan commanded.

"Just when I thought I know everything about you, you show this other side of you which is better."

She eyed him when he said that statement. He was saying indirectly that she was spontaneous in a good way. "I'm always me. How about you?" she asked childishly.

"I will always be me." Natsume said it like it was a promise, like a vow. He said it to assure Mikan that nothing will ever change. Why would he? He was him and no one could tell him what to do besides himself. But looking at Mikan's reaction, he could tell that she had not believed fully in him.

"So, what side of me is better this time?" she asked, somehow changing the topic.

Natsume's lips curved up and said, "You mean sides since it's many. Well, you seemed more mature, understanding, and your kindness that's always there never fades."

The art of letting go. Mikan swallowed, feeling heartbroken again, just by thinking about it. She would really need to be mature and understanding if she would let him go. The real funny thing was Natsume was never hers, but they used words like letting go as if they became a couple. It was like that since their relationship was one of a kind. She was willing to love him more than anything else, to care for him for life, to become his best friend and at the same time his most special person, she would do anything and everything for him, she could be there for him no matter what, she could be his and he could be hers, she would be everything that he needed and wanted. But she could not and she was slowly accepting that. You could not really force someone to love you back because living someone was not an obligation, it was a feeling.

"I've told you about us making the calendar for this school year, right?" she asked, smiling but her voice seemed to be struggling.

"You did," Natsume answered, turning his head to her.

Mikan smiled widely, regained her happy aura from before, and cheered. "We are going to have an Org Ball. Yes!"

"It's an annual thing," Natsume said without any hint of excitement at all. Since he joined the Arts Club, he attended the Organization Ball not because he wanted to but because they had to. Everyone who belonged to a committee should be present in that party since they would meet with the officials of Alice Academy and would recognize their works for the year. The officials would thank them for being active students and for bringing victories for the school and then the dance will commence.

"But this year, it's going to be different. I heard it's going to be like a Team Building but the main event is still the ball," Mikan explained, unlike Natsume, she was very excited. She always wondered what they do on this exclusive dance.

"So, we're going outside the school?" Natsume asked, the idea seemed to appeal to him.

"Probably."

"I just hope it's going to be fun this year."

"Another thing," Mikan chirped.

"What?"

"We're having an educational trip," she informed excitedly again.

Natsume smirked and sarcastically asked, "Are we still studying?"

"You can't blame Alice Academy," Mikan commented.

"As if I can," Natsume muttered.

"Can we be seatmates in the bus when we will have our tour?" she asked for his permission.

He chuckled at her childish question. "Sure. Seriously, you don't even need to ask me that."

"But I'm worried Nobara would take the spot already."

Natsume was caught off-guard by her reason. "She's not like that," he said.

"Sorry if I made it sound like she's taking you away from me," she mumbled, her head down.

"She's not," he assured her again.

Mikan nodded and went back to staring the scenery before her. "This is beautiful," she praised.

"Yeah. It is beautiful."

* * *

><p>"Great news!" Anna's voice echoed on Mikan's ear.<p>

"The annual Org Ball is here and we'll have a trip!" Nonoko added, turning around in glee.

Mikan found the reactions of the two girls over the top and so she just said, "Uh, yes."

Anna shook Mikan by holding her two arms. "What is amazing is that the all new Org Ball. According to the poster, it's three weeks from now and will be held on one of the Board of Trustees' resort. We'll stay there for three days and each club will get to interact with other clubs and experience what other clubs are doing."

"Sounds fun," Mikan exclaimed, trying to sound as excited as them. When she thought she was already so excited, she could not top Anna and Nonoko's enthusiasm.

"I can't wait!" Nonoko yelled.

Anna nodded at Nonoko and said, "Me too."

Hotaru was just rolling her eyes all throughout. Her friends had low standards when it comes on what makes them happy. "Don't be too excited. Your voices are annoying." Hotaru said it in her monotonous voice and this somehow made her friends calm down.

"Hey, guys."

The three girls turned around and greeted a, "Hello, Ruka."

"Seems like you saw the post," Ruka said.

Nonoko nodded and said, "We did."

"Wait, since when did you guys start talking?" asked Mikan who was surprised to see her friends talking to Ruka.

Anna patted Mikan's shoulder and gave Ruka and Nonoko a knowing look. "Oh, Mikan. We have been always talking. We are all members of the Academic Committee."

"For real?" Mikan asked in disbelief.

"Why would we ever lie to you?" Nonoko answered.

Mikan's jaw dropped. She could not remember a day when Anna and Nonoko talked to Ruka and vice versa but what was really surprising was that Hotaru did not seem to mind. "But… how did that happen?" she asked again.

"Doesn't really matter," Anna answered, smiling and added, "Listen, we have to go. Math Class will start in five minutes. Bye!"

"Bye!" Ruka waved at the two girls.

Hotaru went in front of Mikan and said to her, "I have to go, too." She did not even wait for the brunette to reply and just walked away.

"Hey, guys!" Koko greeted them with his somehow loud voice.

"Koko," greeted Mikan.

Ruka patted his pal on the shoulder and gave him a, "Hey, Koko."

Koko gave a troubled expression and started ranting at Mikan. "Natsume hit my head this morning. I just teased him about you and he dancing on the Org Ball and he went smacking me. I asked him what seems to be the problem, in any way, everything will be platonic though it's not, and he just smacked my head again harder. I demand an apology but knowing Natsume, he would never do it for a million years."

"That's ridiculous," Mikan mumbled.

Ruka gave out a chuckled and said, "That is funny."

Koko frowned at him. "No way. It hurts."

"You guys must have made up already," Ruka said, turning to Mikan.

Mikan nodded and answered, "We did."

Ruka shrugged, not surprised at all. "Figures. Usually, when he's in a bad mood, Natsume just ignores Koko."

Koko just got the idea. No wonder Natsume was back to being the sadistic boy he was, it was because he was talking again with Mikan. Well, four days of silent treatment was indeed torture. "Great! You two are talking again?"

Mikan laughed and said, "That's what I confirmed, right?"

"Cool. No wonder he has this good aura surrounding him."

The brunette rolled her eyes and acted like she was grateful about it. "And I'm the reason. Great."

Koko stared at her with seriousness on his face. "Yes. But, really, seriously, you are the reason."

Mikan snorted at playfully slapped Koko's cheeks with both hands and began shaking his head. "As much as I could be happy hearing that, I can't because he does not love me."

"Did he say that?" Koko asked, his expression was still the same.

"Say what?" Mikan asked.

"Koko," Ruka warned from behind.

"That he does not love you? Did he say those exact words?" Koko continued.

Mikan removed her hands from his face and stepped back a little. "Well, yes… no? I don't know?"

"I knew it," Koko said.

"Knew what?"

He shook his head and pushed Mikan. "Nothing. You should go to your next class."

Mikan frowned at him and said unhappily, "Fine. Be that way."

"See you around, Mikan!"

* * *

><p>The room was very conducive to learning and Nobara was enjoying every second of answering these Math problems even though it was the leading cause of headache to some students. They were requested to be discharged from the class an hour before and to stay two hours more. Three hours of review everyday was not enough especially that the competition was just a week away but Nobara and Natsume could manage. In competitions, if the preparation was not well, the outcome might not be satisfying.<p>

Jinno glanced at the wall clock behind him and coughed to get the attention of his students. "That's it for our review today. Study your lessons at home."

Natsume and Nobara stood up quietly and prepared their things.

"Goodbye then," Jinno said and went first.

"I'm impressed at your speed answering those problems," Nobara complimented as they started walking on the hallway which was still lighted up.

"They're not exactly unanswerable," Natsume answered.

"But, still… you're great. I think we might actually win this."

"We will win. No doubt."

"Thank you, Natsume."

"For what?"

Nobara smiled, thinking that her partner was not only good at drawing but in everything. "For the effort. For the time. For being determined to win this. I know you are just joining the competition for my scholarship and I could never thank you enough for that."

"You don't have to thank me."

Nobara held his hand which surprised Natsume a bit. She gave him a big smile and said, "We should eat dinner together. As in now."

Natsume thought that this was the first time he would be having dinner with Nobara and the idea appealed to him so much that he quickly agreed. It was going to be nice, he guessed. "If you insist," he said.

They just chose a fast food chain to eat their dinner. Nobara was the one who always open the topic to be discussed just like Mikan. They usually talked about drawing, painting, colors, what kind of school would they meet on the upcoming contest, and many more. Natsume considered this dinner as a step up to know Nobara deeper. He found her fun to be with, the girl with lots of stories, very practical, matured, and open-minded. Natsume could easily tell she was genuinely kind since every story of hers indirectly tell that she was a good-hearted girl.

"My dad is pretty excited for the Math Camp. More excited than me."

"He's a proud dad then," Natsume said it to tease her.

Nobara smiled proudly at him for play and said mockingly, "I know and I love him for that."

"You are such a daddy's girl."

Nobara sipped at her drink and stared at nowhere. "Well, since my Mom is the one always working, Dad took care of us. He likes drawing, too."

"You have such supportive parents," Natsume said it while trying not to be jealous. He wanted to pursue painting but he could not do it successfully if his own parents do not agree to him.

"How about yours?" Nobara asked.

He was not that comfortable telling about his parents but opening up to Nobara was not such a bad idea. "My Dad is always busy and so does my Mom. We barely see each other. My sister has her own life and rarely visits home so basically, I spend my time with Mikan."

"So, money does not really do the trick?" she asked for confirmation.

"No. Life is not about money after all."

Nobara nodded and asked, "Anything that I have to know about you?"

"What do you want to know that you already know?" he asked teasingly.

Nobara placed her two hands under her chin and began to think on the things she wanted to know about Natsume, things that only a number of people knew about him. "Any allergies?" she asked since it was the first thing that came into her mind.

"Cheese," he answered briefly, thinking that there was no need to elaborate.

She placed a playful frown and teased him by saying, "That's just sad."

"I get that a lot," Natsume answered, smiling at himself, thinking of the times Mikan teased him for his allergy.

"Good for me, I don't have any allergies." She bragged it to tease him more and it seemed effective because he frowned at her which made her chuckle. Nobara was extremely glad that she invited Natsume to have dinner and talk about anything since she always had limited time with him at school and they could not exactly go out on weekends because they were busy with their own commitments. "It's nice talking to you," she said with all sincerity. She looked at him in the eye and as if sparks flew when he was looking back.

"Do I surprise you?" Natsume asked in his handsome smirk and gorgeous voice.

Nobara rolled her eyes and retorted, "Ha. Ha."

"Nice comeback," Natsume mocked.

"I'm looking forward on winning with you," she said all of a sudden. The topic about the competition died several minutes ago so Natsume did not expect her to say that with all seriousness. She said it not because of the scholarship and the recognition she could get from winning but because she honestly wanted to win with him. Winning with Natsume might be the only thing Mikan could not take away from her; it could serve as a single memory for Natsume and for her. She wanted to impress him by using her abilities and she would do that now.

"Same here," he said it in a way that made her heart skip a beat.

On that night, she decided to never let go of him.

* * *

><p>Mikan knocked on his door three times and turned around making her back face the person who will open the door by any chance. She was holding a small paper bag and inside it was a small bookmark with a chain that was for good luck. Mikan saw it on a bookshop downtown that sells books about Math and Science only, two of her least favorite subjects. She specifically went there to find something to give to Natsume as a sign of support and now she was in front of his door, just waiting for him to open it. She barely saw him this week since he was too busy with all the reviews and preparation and add to that, Nobara was always at his side and she did not want to pry. Mikan wanted to meet Nobara formally the same time Natsume will introduce her to them.<p>

She heard the knob turned and within a second, she saw Natsume again. She missed him, really. If she could only tell him that, she would. She wanted to tell him a lot of things even though those were not really important but if that would take to talk to him longer, she would do it. After tonight, she would not be able to see him for a week and by now she was already missing him. How exaggerated of her to feel this way when Natsume was just going to some camp. She was feeling like she was never going to him again.

"Hey, Natsume." She greeted with her usual cheery voice, excitement was evident in her tone since inside, she was really feeling excited.

"What do you need?" he asked.

She frowned at his question but he quickly took the rude question back by messing with her hair; with that, Mikan continued saying what she need to voice out. "I just came here… to give you this!" she said and stretched her arms to give her gift.

Natsume tried to peek on what was inside the bag and asked, "What's this?"

"A good luck gift."

"Thanks."

She nodded and took a deep breath. "Win not because you are obliged to but because you know that winning will make you happy and will make the person that you want to be happy, happy."

"Will it make you happy if I'll win?" he asked.

Mikan rolled her eyes and hit him in the chest. "Of course! Do you even need to ask that?"

Natsume smiled at her, thinking how sweet of Mikan to do such thing. "Then, I'll win for you, too."

Mikan smiled back and said with superiority, "Don't forget to win for you, too."

"That too," he said, agreeing to her.

"Do your best, Natsume."

"No worries."

Mikan hugged him tightly, feeling the contact between them. "Good luck," she said, her voice fading and she did not know why she was getting so emotional. Maybe because she really missed Natsume and she had many things to tell him. Sometimes, when they hugged, Mikan would not want to let go anymore, afraid that when she would look at his face, it will just show another platonic smile followed with platonic words due to the platonic action that was never friend-zoned for her.

Natsume hugged her back, meaning to ask Mikan what was happening to her but as for now, he wanted to enjoy the hug. "Thanks," he mumbled.

She was the one who broke the contact. "Goodnight."

"Night."

"See you in a week," she quickly added.

"That's utterly long," he realized, frowning at the length of time they won't be seeing each other.

Mikan smirked at him and said, "Come on, you can live. Goodbye again."

She had not made even a single step when he grabbed her hand. That action made Mikan turn to him and he could already feel the tremendous feeling of longing the moment he saw her eyes. He wanted to tell her that she better focus on studying, to do some cooking to kill time, and to spend time with her other friends but all he said was, "See you, Mikan."

"I'll miss you," she said, biting her lip.

Natsume grinned at her and this time he was the one who hugged her. The very reason why she was here was just to say that she will miss him and now that she said it, he better say what was he feeling inside, too. They were never separated longer than five days in their sixteen years of existence and it was so natural for them to act this way because they were always together. Mikan was not the only one feeling frustrated about this very short separation, Natsume was feeling the same. So he hugged her tighter and when he felt her arms on her back, he just said, "You got me there. I'll miss you, too."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for the song suggestions <strong>_**jesse, Annie **_**and **_**ageha obsessed**_**.**

**I was reading a story that is really cute but I found some parts of it sad and had the urge to cry. God, I think I'm sad. Oh well, our short vacation is here and that means… you know. So, we're halfway of the story. I usually add some spice after the tenth chapter. Drama will come and so will happy moments. I have lots of things on my tiny, little notebook and I'm excited to type it down. I'm also glad that you guys enjoyed the previous chapter. I hope you had enjoyed this one, too, since I had so much fun writing it. I wish you felt the same. **


	11. Inches to Miles

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Eleven**

_**Inches to Miles**_

The Math Department was celebrating.

For the first time in five years, Alice Academy bagged the championship title again. The news was very normal for most of the students but the Math Club accepted the news otherwise. They were very happy, ecstatic, and proud of themselves and the happiest of them all would be Jinno. Finally, after years of waiting, the perfect students to represent Alice Academy had finally come and it had become an easy win for him. Jinno only gave a little effort in teaching and reviewing Natsume and Nobara. The two students needed only a few teaching, some extra facts, and a little advice. When they came into the location of the competition, Jinno still felt the nervousness and the pressure but that all vanished when Natsume and Nobara placed first and third respectively d on the individual competition. Those victories gave them an edge in the competition and because of that also different representative of various universities went to him and expressed the interest of giving Natsume and Nobara one of the reasons why many were interested in joining the Math Camp… the scholarship.

The competition was tight. On the last round, Jinno remembered it very well, when the remaining contestants needed to answer a problem solving question in ten seconds, his dynamic duo remained calm and maintained their support system. When Alice Academy would score, the other schools would do as well. No school allowed another school to take a big advantage but what Alice Academy had that other schools did not have was Natsume Hyuuga.

Natsume was calm, composed, and knew what he was going to do. He led his duo with Nobara and with that, their teamwork was spectacular to the point that they did not need to command each other who would solve this and that and they never argued throughout the quiz bee. They would help each other out, support each one, and catch one another if somebody needed help. Their relationship stood up among the contestants which was a really favorable thing for Alice Academy and especially for Jinno, who would do risk anything in order for his students to win.

Jinno would always find the two together if not studying, having fun talking, on the table in the lobby of the hotel, on the seashore, on the table of this popular diner, and everywhere. He was not really into gossips in the school but he heard that Natsume was interested in Nobara and he was fine with it since it boosted their teamwork. When the two won, he won with them.

Meanwhile, Natsume found himself very busy with the club he was not even a member of. They had been inviting him to these countless celebration which got tiring due to its tendency of repeating itself by its cyclic 'Congratulations', 'You have always been great', 'Wow', 'We knew you'd win'. He did not really care about the competition anymore since it was over, the scholarship did not mean so much for him, and the last thing he needed was to be complimented. He just needed some free time for himself but every time Nobara would ask him to go with her, he could not refuse.

The biggest thing that this competition gave him was that he got closer with Nobara. She opened up so many things to him and he just found her amazing after knowing her real story and just like that, his interest to her grew stronger. It was like they were fated to be paired up so that they could know each other more, deeper, and become comfortable with each other's presence more. He never imagined Nobara to be this talkative. They tried not to talk about painting and school since they considered the camp as a getaway. Sometimes, they forgot about reviewing and just talk.

_Nobara sighed and threw her pen and books. "Do I look weak? Pathetic?" she asked in a desperate tone. _

"_Do you really want me to answer that?" Natsume asked, quite interested. _

"_Yes! Okay, no. But most of the comments I received is about my outside appearance which looked very fragile. I like things that are less violent than sports but that doesn't mean that I hate sports and I avoid it because I'm not good at it. Come on! Tell me, am I making sense?"_

"_Is that really important for you?"_

"_I just… it's just that I have things I like. I want to do baseball, punch a tree and see if it really hurts, paint on my shirts, do some rebellious things like ditching school, failing a quiz, or even talking back to a student. I am not Miss Kind and Nice, you know. I have flaws, bad attitude, I am not perfect."_

"_No worries. We are not asking you to be perfect."_

"_I know. I know. What I don't know is how I got this mindset."_

"_You're cool."_

"_I am?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_If you say so."_

"_Don't you think so?"_

"_I wish I am someone like… someone like… like Mikan!"_

"_Hn."_

"_Based on your stories, she sounds like a lively person. The type that you can easily hang out with, talk with, she seems to be the person who always has something to say. I see her in school and she's always smiling, always there, always friendly."_

"_She's eager to meet you, you know?"_

"_Is that for real?"_

"_Yes."_

"_She's not angry at me?"_

"_No. She is not like that and she never will. That's what I like about her, she is genuine."_

"_I want to meet her soon, too."_

They had talked about their individual plans for the future, how Jinno was training them, what are the universities they might apply to, their plans on going overseas to pursue their dreams, their goals for high school, and if what will happen for the both of them after everything. Beside the part where Natsume knew Nobara more, they also met different people from different districts and schools. Students from other schools looked at them like they were some kind of prey but it came no surprise for the two since Alice Academy was indeed always on top in almost every aspect. But also, some students were kind enough and treated them as an equal contestant and not as a tight competitor. Natsume was still snobbish though even if the girls present in the camp were swooning over him but Nobara made up to Natsume's lack of social skills.

Alice Academy was indeed a popular school in where the best of the best flock and dreamt to study at. Being an Alice student alone could give an advantage in many ways like advance lessons, modern facilities which paved way to the sending and receiving of information faster and the application of skills and knowledge were far more given chance through this, and not to mention the people behind the name who were bound to live up the standards of the school.

"Hey," someone called from behind that made Natsume stop from reminiscing what happened last week.

Natsume looked behind and just as he expected, it was Mikan. "Hey," he greeted back.

"It's been a week. Don't you miss me?" Mikan teased, opening her arms to signal him that he can hug her anytime now but that was part of her teasing.

Natsume shrugged and retorted, "Won't you congratulate me first?"

Mikan giggled and went to hug her best friend. She wanted to talk to him since the morning of today came but whenever she went to approach him, someone would snatch him away and that left him to wait until afternoon just to say a few words. She originally planned to lecture him for not even calling, not even a single text, or a simple e-mail was sent to her through that seven days and it almost killed her. She just tried convincing herself by saying that he must be busy with all what was happening since he was in a competition and not in some retreat but not even a single effort for him to talk to her was done. Mikan was upset on how her best friend was in some place, enjoying himself despite of the pressure, and she was left in school, studying alone.

She expected Natsume to be at home by Saturday but Kaoru said that his stay at the camp would be lengthened a bit since the sponsors would like to talk to them and so were the universities offering the scholarship. Mikan was disappointed to not see him so she just stayed there to have some bonding time with Kaoru and Aoi, who were surprisingly present at the house that weekend. Kaoru proposed to talk about her son but Mikan asked not to since it would make her miss Natsume more in which Aoi agreed to. Mikan just laughed at herself, imagining how she could have come up with the idea of not talking to him for a week when she could barely survive for days.

"Congratulations, Natsume. You've done well." Of all the words that came into her mind for the past week, those were the only words that came out from her mouth. Natsume looked happy and proud of his victory, well, who wouldn't be?

"Not only me."

Mikan nodded, no need to explain anymore. "Yes. Give Nobara my congratulations."

"I will. I have to go now."

She was alarmed. "Why? Already?"

"Victory Party," he answered.

"Can't I join?" she asked, laughing, like she was joking but she really meant it.

He shook his head and said, "Strictly for Math Club members only and us."

Mikan understood the situation and just said, "Oh, okay."

"We'll talk some other time, Mikan."

"Okay," she said but he did not even hear it since he was already gone.

* * *

><p>The next day came and she still had not talked to Natsume. She could not help but watch at the sidelines like a good best friend would do but she hated it. They were treating the Match Competition like it was the biggest contest of the year when it was not. She was never the typical best friend type who would just support and support and support, she was more than that. She had the urge to kidnap Natsume or steal him from the crowd but that would be over the top and she could feel that Natsume was enjoying the moment. No matter how badly she wanted to talk to him all day, she simply could not take away this moment from Natsume because he was socializing with other people, finally, and his crowd was getting bigger which was good for his part since he needed to learn some social skills sooner or later even though he really didn't need it. Somehow, Mikan felt that Natsume didn't really need her this time and she could not decide if it was a bad or a good thing.<p>

"I know why you're sad," a voice said behind Mikan which startled her a bit.

Mikan turned her head just to see the same freshman who was getting in to her nerves. "It's you again," she greeted lifelessly meaning that she was not really comfortable seeing the first year student.

The girl simply ignored Mikan's bored look and sat beside her. She made sure that she looked happy enough or smiling wickedly all throughout just to make Mikan irritable. "Ever since they won the contest, they started spending time with each other more. Do you think something happened while they were away?" she asked, wanting Mikan to realize something.

Mikan just rolled her eyes. She was not normally rude but she hated it when a person annoys her so much because that person was telling the truth. "I don't know and stop talking like you are my conscience when in fact, I don't even know you." She spat it like she had a naturally snobbish attitude.

The freshman sensed that Mikan was not happy seeing her but she somehow predicted it and she knew something that would irk the brunette more so she started enumerating the good qualities of a certain girl whom she was sure the brunette knew. "Smart, talented, kind, beautiful."

"What are you talking about?" Mikan asked, confused and having no idea what the girl was talking about.

The freshman gave her a sharp look and said, "That's Nobara Ibaragi, your competitor."

"I'm not in a competition," Mikan defended quickly.

The girl did not look convinced. "You are just saying that but the truth is that you are. You love him, right?"

Mikan was surprised at her question. "Natsume?" she asked, laughing. There was no question about her love for him.

The girl then changed her seat to face Mikan. "Who else? So what if he doesn't love you now? Does that mean that he will not love you in the future? Fight for him. He is your friend, I know, that is a disadvantage but that could be an advantage also. Are you just going to stand there and let another person take away your happiness?"

The brunette was already gritting her teeth and clenching her fist when she said and asked, "I don't understand. Why are you lecturing me about this?"

"Because you need some persuasion," the freshman answered, catching her breath.

Mikan stared at her for a few seconds, tempted at the idea to fight for Natsume longer but then she realized that this was not right so she said firmly, "No, I'm letting him go."

"Do you want that?"

Mikan nodded hesitantly and said, "I made that decision long time ago."

The girl shook her head, frowning, and seemed to be disappointed at Mikan's answer. "I'll ask you again. Do you really want that?"

"It's the best for everybody so yes," Mikan answered with her voice barely audible. The moment she said that, she felt vulnerable and heroic at the same time. She was willing to give him up for other's sake.

"Mikan Sakura, I never thought you would give up just like that."

"It's not 'just like that', it has been ten years and I think that is enough."

The freshman wanted to lecture Mikan and she didn't care to the fact that she was older. "You will stop because of a girl that you are not even sure if she is the best for him or they will last for forever? What kind of thinking is that?"

"Why are you even doing this?" Mikan asked, her voice rising. "You don't have any right to tell me these things. Who are you anyway?"

The girl extended her arm and with a smiling face, she introduced herself. "I'm Sumire Shouda, first year, and a girl who seems to be more knowledgeable than you when it comes to this."

Mikan stood up. She could not take this anymore since she was being taught by a kid, a way to trample her pride, really. She did not know what to do with her decisions anymore since it looked like every person she passed by was telling her the pros and cons. Hotaru would support her decision of giving up but the rest of her friends including Natsume's friends would not support her which was really confusing on her part because she was losing the right to decide for herself and now, a freshman, out of nowhere, was telling her that she was stupid to let go of Natsume. Certainly, the last thing she needed.

"A first year lecturing a third year. Seriously, this is the last thing I need."

"Wait, where are you going?" Sumire asked in panic.

Mikan just looked at her shortly and started her pace. "Obviously, away from you."

Sumire quickly stood up, got her things, and followed Mikan. "Hey! Why? Are you afraid?"

"Afraid?" Mikan asked in disbelief and then laughed hard. "Of what?" she added.

"The truth," Sumire stated confidently.

Mikan laughed more and she was ready to mock Sumire anytime. "The truth. Wow."

"Yes! The truth."

"Fine. What is that 'truth' that you so know about?" Mikan asked, challenging the little girl to prove her answer to be worthy.

Sumire smirked, feeling confident since she was really good at this. "That you are so in love with your best friend that you don't care anymore that he's happy and you are suffering," she started and then added, "You are making yourself believe that you can let go of him so that he can finally be happy but you know inside you that you can't. You just want him to notice you, even one time, because you believe that, that one time can make him finally realize of his feelings for you. I know the truth that you are really, really sad right now because you feel out of place because the girl that your best friend likes is out there, hanging out with him like something magical happened between the two of them. You want to cry, you want to tell the whole world how much you love him and how much it pains you that he will never love you back! The truth on how much it hurts that whatever you do, you will always be the best friend! No more, no less."

Mikan was surprised at her long answer. She felt it, every emotion attached to every word she said. She felt the pain, the longing, the fear. "Are you okay?" she asked, suddenly getting worried because Sumire was shedding tears.

Sumire just sniffed and smiled like before, convincing herself that everything was still in her control and she would not let the past take over her. "I'm fine. I'm alright. Just perfect."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mikan offered.

Sumire hesitated for a moment but when she thought that no one could understand her like Mikan, she told her the reason why. "I'm in love with my best friend, too. Well, ex best friend."

Young love or whatever it was called, Mikan was not convinced. "Are you sure? But you are just a freshman." She was pertaining on how youngsters mistaken admiration for love.

"Maybe not love but sooner or later, I know it will be love. I confessed to him that I have feelings for him and just like that he blew me away. He stopped talking to me or even looking at me. It hurts, you know? It hurts that the person who promised to be with you always will just change just like that. Right now, I'm not even sure if I regret or not telling my feelings for him but every time I see you, so vocal of your feelings, it makes me want to believe that I did the right thing and the one who is wrong is my best friend. Well, ex best friend."

"We have the same story," Mikan said it sadly.

Sumire shook her head and looked at Mikan. "Except, yours is more likely to happen."

"I doubt it," Mikan argued quickly.

Sumire stared at the brunette to analyze what she just said. "Why don't you fight for it?" she asked.

Mikan just snickered. "Trust me. I've been doing that for the last decade."

"Can you even talk to him normally after you stop?"

That was the kind of question Mikan could easily answer. "I don't know what will happen but I'm not afraid that our friendship will be affected."

"Use him as your inspiration instead," Sumire suggested.

Did she do that? Mikan wanted to ask. But she chose to leave it that way simultaneously accepting the fact that a mere freshman made her realize something again. These realizations were continuously hitting her for the past few days and she knew that it meant only one thing and that was to make up her mind once and for all because if not, she would just regret it in the end.

"I will."

Sumire was satisfied at her answer. After months of being anonymous, she finally shared her story with Mikan Sakura which made her feel better but didn't change the fact that she still think that Mikan would be stupid if she would not fight for Natsume. She hated it when someone gets brokenhearted and so she said, "But I still think that you should fight for him. I mean, I'm not the only one who thinks this way. The whole school thinks so too."

Mikan wanted to disagree with her but what Sumire was saying was true so she didn't bother changing her opinion much. "It doesn't matter what everyone thinks since it won't change a thing. If it can, then Natsume's mind should have changed a long time ago. And if I will still be persistent, won't I be just another selfish girl? I don't want to hinder in my best friend's nearing happiness."

"Are you sure of that?" Sumire asked, eyeing the brunette.

"Yes."

The freshman simply shrugged and said, "Okay. If you say so."

Mikan's eyes followed Sumire's stance as she stood up and said, "It's nice talking to you, surprisingly."

"As for me, I'm not surprise at all. I knew you are fun to be with. Bye!" She gave Mikan a wave before finally taking her exit.

Minutes ago, Mikan sure she was near to hating the girl but the kid did something good, something refreshing, and something so effective since Sumire herself experienced what she was experiencing. Weird since Sumire was so young and she already experienced the pain of falling in love, as she called it, but whatever it was, may it be real love or a simple crush, it never changed the fact that in liking a person, there would always be happiness and sadness or a roller coaster ride of different emotions especially when you fell in love to that one person you were off-limits to, your best friend. It got Mikan thinking on how could the best friendship turned into something gruesome when in fact it didn't need so much effort for two people to stay friends. But, how could she conclude it like that? She never experienced it, right?

Mikan stood up, feeling a little happy despite the real situation since someone just opened up to her, and mouthed, "Bye."

She was looking forward on talking to Sumire again.

* * *

><p>"Wake up, dear."<p>

Yuka shook her daughter a little violently this time since she had been trying to wake her up for the last ten minutes. She could not believe that Mikan seemed to forget what day is today. Yuka was all set and could not help to glance at the clock occasionally due to her being time-conscious. She let out a sigh and her eyes observed the whole room and Yuka could clearly see the scrapbook-like slash timeline format Mikan creatively did on the wall. It was composed of pictures in which Mikan and Natsume shared and it started on the year they met and with that, one could easily tell how closer these two were and how much they'd grown. Yuka closed her eyes for a moment, thinking about what Mikan's father just told her on the phone last night but before she could really think about it, she heard Mikan's voice.

"Why?" Mikan asked in her sleepy state, fidgeting inside the blanket which she covered around her body just now.

Yuka removed the blanket from her daughter and brushed away the hair that was splattered all over Mikan's face. "Today is our outing with the Hyuugas. We don't want to be late for that, right?"

Mikan rolled her eyes and completely removed the blanket that was on the level of her legs. "That's today?" she asked with no amount of interest at all which surprised her mother and herself. Normally, she was excited when this event comes and could not afford to be late but now, she forgot about it.

"That's what I said." Yuka was disappointed at her daughter's lack of excitement and enthusiasm.

The younger Sakura was about to get up but before she could completely do so, she slumped her back onto the bad again and groaned, "Oh, I don't feel like coming."

Yuka glanced at the wall filled with photos before saying, "Never in my life had I imagined to hear you saying that."

"I just said it," Mikan snapped.

Yuka's eyes automatically widened as she was taken aback by what Mikan just said and how she said it. "What's the problem, Mikan?" she immediately asked, slightly worried.

Mikan was silent for a moment, thinking about her actions for the past five minutes and she thought that she was being childish about it. She forgot about the mini celebration her Aunt Kaoru planned for Natsume weeks ago and she was being honest about not wanting to go since she would just see Natsume there and she did not want to. He ignored her for the past two weeks though some would not call it ignoring as he was really busy all of a sudden but that was not Mikan's point. Her point was Natsume did not even make an effort to talk to her. She felt guilty for snapping at her mother like that and keeping the real reason on why she was angry from her but how could she be proud of the reason when it was simply minor.

"Very unimportant. I'll get up now, wash, and follow you in a bit."

Yuka simply nodded, making a mental note to talk about it later. "I'll wait for you downstairs, dear."

"Okay!" Mikan yelled from the bathroom.

Yuka hastily opened the gate and signaled Mikan to move quickly or else they would be late. She started the engine the moment she sat on the driver's seat and waited for Mikan as she was closing the gate and without any more interruptions, they drove off.

"We are going to be late," Yuka mumbled.

Mikan rolled her eyes, laughing at her Mom's disease to always worry about time. Well, it was not really a disease, she just liked to identify it that way. "Relax, Mom. It's not like we are miles away from the venue."

Yuka was still not relieved because she knew her best friend and Kaoru was not forgiving when it comes to being late. She tried to smile at what her daughter just said but it was not enough to calm her down. "Which is a very good thing because if we are… Kaoru would surely beat me up."

"Mom, don't exaggerate."

"I can't help it, dear. I am just so excited. Aren't you?" she asked, glancing at Mikan for a moment, hoping her daughter's expression would have changed now.

It was surprisingly chilly today, meaning colder than the usual, so people had to wear extra clothing to protect them from the cold temperature. Mikan looked up in the skies which were gray and blue at the same time so probably the weather would be partly cloudy. Even the weather was not agreeing in to this picnic. Mikan was irritable and she could easily tell it because she didn't want to talk to her Mom, she rather stay in bed than see Natsume, and she would be a lot happier to hang out with Koko than interact with Natsume. Her Mom just asked her if she was excited and even when she was not answering, the reply was a clear 'no'.

"Will Tsubasa be there?" Mikan asked instead. If Tsubasa would be there like every year, she could guarantee that this outing would not be so bad.

"Maybe. By the way, your Dad called."

"Oh."

"He wants to see you," Yuka informed.

"You already told me that. Did he say anything else?" Mikan asked.

Yuka's eyes were focused on the road since they were passing in a highway. There were lots of things that her ex-husband told her but she was not the one who should tell it to Mikan. "It's better if he is the one who'll talk to you," she said.

Mikan kinda guessed that her mother would not tell a soul, she always had and always will. "Sure. No problem."

"That's a relief. You are willing to cooperate."

Mikan tried to look happy but failed miserably and when she saw a sign, she just said, "Yeah. Look, we're here."

Yuka parked the car in between the vehicle of the Hyuugas and another car which seemed to belong to Tsubasa. Mikan's face brightened up as she saw a glimpse of Tsubasa's stance and with that, she quickly picked up her bag and started walking toward them while Yuka was ready to hug her longest friend anytime.

"Yuka!"

"Kaoru."

"You are almost late," Kaoru said with a pointed look.

Yuka laughed nervously, thinking that her best friend had not changed a bit ever since. "Sorry about that. It's entirely my fault."

Kaoru laughed with her, waving her hand in midair as a signal to brush the topic off, and said, "Oh. No worries, Mikan. Guess who's here."

"Who?" Mikan asked excitedly, acting like she did not know what was Kaoru talking about when in fact, she knew very well. Her close relationship with Tsubasa was not a secret from anyone so, basically, Mikan was entitled to hug Tsubasa for forever since she considered him as her older brother. Her relationship with Tsubasa was almost like what she had with Natsume except for the reasons that she did not like Tsubasa in a romantic way, she considered him as the sibling she never had, and the kind of friend that she might barely see but could still be comfortable with.

"Hey, Mikan!" the voice was coming behind her and she could not help but giggle as she turned around.

Mikan refrained herself from being so happy and was distracted by her Mom and Aunt Kaoru's movements who were going on the opposite direction. Before she could become completely distracted, she faced Tsubasa again and greeted him with less enthusiasm, trying to act all grown up and mature. "Tsubasa. Hello."

Tsubasa did not buy the act and just messed her hair in which he earned a groan. "You've grown taller, haven't you? And you gain some weight." He said the last part while pinching Mikan's cheeks.

"I can't believe you are here tom insult me!" she exclaimed.

Tsubasa just chuckled. "Believe it now. I missed you. Haven't seen you all year."

"That's because you never visited again," Mikan said, pouting.

"I'm busy and how about you? Can't you visit me?" Tsubasa playfully put the blame on her.

"I'm as busy as you are," Mikan reasoned out although she was not really that busy, well, compare to a man going in college.

Tsubasa simply smirked at her. "Bull. If I know, you are just busy spending your weekends at my cousin's room."

Mikan hit him in the head lightly and said, "You make it sound indecent."

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

The boy with the star tattoo glanced on his right where he could see the three Hyuugas and one Sakura. "I think you should talk to him now since he is in a grumpier mood than usual," he suggested and didn't need to tell names since it was already known who he was pertaining to.

Mikan looked at the same direction Tsubasa just glanced at now. This little family gathering was always held on the Hyuuga's private golf club and resort. Actually, one could have mistaken this as the normal golf club, wherein people that belonged to the higher class gather, due to its size and facilities. The Hyuugas was a large clan that if would have a reunion, could fill this large area and that was exactly the point why they had something like this. Mikan could see Kaoru and her mother having a good chat with a stick of barbecue on their hands, she also could see Aoi who seemed to be meddling herself with the two women, serving them the food, and then there was Natsume, in a corner, looking all grumpy, as Tsubasa described, and irritated.

But Mikan couldn't care less. "Nah. He can live."

"Something happened?" asked Tsubasa, astonished by Mikan's unlikely behavior.

"He was out last week since he had a competition to attend to and when he came back, we barely talked since he was so busy celebrating his victory with people he just met and to a girl he really likes." Mikan's explanation was the summary of it all but what she said was really controversial for Tsubasa.

"Girl? You are still not together?" he asked, eyeing Mikan.

"Unfortunately," she said through her teeth, sarcastically smiling.

Tsubasa rolled his eyes and opened his mouth. He could not just believe it, that this would take longer than expected. He was seriously rooting for Mikan and Natsume, even phoning Aoi just to get the latest updates but for the past months, Aoi had been busy and she couldn't really talk to Tsubasa as much as often due to their family conflicts. "He really is stupid," he said in an agitated tone.

"He's not," Mikan defended.

The boy refused to be convinced and said with so much irritation, "Whatever. I still think he is stupid. But I'm serious on what I said that you should talk to him."

"Maybe later. Look, we are being called." Mikan pointed out and not long enough, they went to join the others.

Natsume's eyes landed on Mikan and Tsubasa. Seeing them together made him growl automatically for a reason he was entitled to have to. He had known Tsubasa as the one always teasing him to Mikan, telling him that he was an idiot for not accepting Mikan, and the list went on. It was like Tsubasa was ordering him to do something that he did not want to and he hated taking orders. And, sometimes, he was jealous on how could Mikan become so comfortable with his cousin even though they were only seeing each other once a year. Natsume shook his head, thinking that feeling jealous on who Mikan interacts with was slowly becoming a routine for him.

"I'm sorry that Ioran could not join us today," Kaoru's voice filled their air.

"It's not something new," Natsume said and he meant to be rude.

"Natsume!" wailed Aoi. "Continue," she added, looking at her mother.

Kaoru blinked a few times, swallowed, and hesitated to continue but she remembered that this was not about her husband but it was about friends coming together and so she continued. "We are here to celebrate many, many things. First, for Natsume's victory in the Math Camp he joined. Second, for our families' unending friendship. Third, for Tsubasa who gave his time just to be with us. Lastly, for every good thing that we receive and the bad things that bring us the lessons in life. Let's all celebrate."

There were lots of foods, more than enough for a picnic with six to feed and Mikan enjoyed them all except for the fact that she had made several attempts to avoid Natsume's gaze. Mikan saw Tsubasa and Aoi chatting so animatedly and she bet they were talking about college. Kaoru teased her about being her daughter-in-law and all and she gave her a smile but her eyes told otherwise, Mikan was not happy about it. Mikan tried on prying into Tsubasa and Aoi's conversation but end up not getting interested in it. She just chose to sit on the corner and enjoy the wind as she ate her favorite mango cake.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Mikan was avoiding him. Natsume remembered that this was supposed to be his last celebration for a victory that didn't mean much to him but somehow looked forward on it since he expected that Mikan would definitely make this different and worth it but he was wrong. The Sakuras came almost late and he had expected that the moment Mikan stepped off the car, she would run for him but she did not do that and instead of having a happy expression, she had this bored and annoyed look. He took her for granted again. She was happy to see Aoi, his Mom, and she was too happy seeing Tsubasa. She talked to his cousin, to his cousin, and to his cousin and she never met his gaze. Tsubasa kept eyeing him like he was telling him to confront Mikan and as much as he hated Tsubasa, he was right this time.

Natsume took a few hours before finally knowing the right things to say when he apologized to Mikan and he struggled through it. His pride was holding him back but when he realized that he would never enjoy this day without his best friend, he went for it. It would be a short apology but will be very sincere. Talking to Mikan was a thousand miles better than sitting alone and watching her become uncomfortable herself. He would apologize for not spending time with her, for not contacting her during the competition, for leaving her out whenever he had something to do, for not making an effort to see her, and for the many times that he was not able to reach her. He was wrong in some things and so he would apologize for that but he would never say sorry for spending time with Nobara whom he found out to be such an amazing girl.

"I'm sorry," he said it, finally, without any hesitation and stuttering.

Mikan looked up to him with glaring eyes and stood up. She walked away because the last thing she needed was Natsume right now. She just wanted to be alone, plain and simple and, as usual, he was not making it any easier for him. "You actually know your mistake now? Wow, Natsume. Should I congratulate you?" she mocked in the greatest way she could.

Natsume grabbed her hand and gripped it tightly. "I am serious," he said to her.

She believed him but it was still not enough to forgive him that easily. "You always are and never will not."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Natsume asked, his voice raising.

"You know what it means," she replied but it really didn't answer anything.

Natsume looked down and to her again. "I should not have done that," he said as he tried his best to make eye contact and continued, "It was selfish, and rude, and I know it is not my obligation to talk to you but still, we made a deal to always communicate with each other. What I did to you was wrong…"

She didn't know why but her heart was melting with his words again, okay, she knew very well why, but is it going to be this easy always? She made sure that they were far enough from their mothers and relatives because this was their friendship moment and they really had to talk privately. "Do you regret it? No, don't answer that. I know you don't since you spent it with Nobara."

"I don't regret spending time with her," Natsume admitted, hoping Mikan would understand his reason for being not to.

"Right," Mikan snarled and walked away. "Sorry for making you feel bad. I'm being selfish again."

He followed her, not wanting her to be released from his grasp. Mikan was so good on walking away whenever they talk to mend things up and he was getting good on following her also, not that he was complaining, but he could just see how scared Mikan was to talk about things. "I actually missed you," he said it in the most honest, most sincere, and most passionate tone.

He didn't need to say that because it will never convince Mikan. Sure, she believed that he was sorry but she just could not afford to believe that he missed her because, surely, that was not what he had shown her these past two weeks. "Then why didn't you contact me?" she asked, daring him to answer in a way she would believe it.

Natsume did not wait for a second and answered, "Because I'll miss you more."

Right. As if that was true. "How is that even possible?" Mikan asked in disbelief. His reason was invalid and irrational. You were ought to contact a person because you missed that person and not the other way around. That was ridiculous, plain ridiculous.

He held both of her hands and started explaining. "Maybe hearing your voice could actually make me decide to just give up in the contest and come back here," he almost yelled at her because she was extracting too many feelings from him.

Mikan shook her head, refusing to believe his statement. "You don't mean that. I don't think you can do it anyway… I mean, you have everything that you wanted there."

They stared at each other for a while. No one dared to break the silence. Mikan looked like she wanted to say something and Natsume looked like he was waiting for her to say it already. The brunette was the one who broke the eye contact because of uneasiness but Natsume stayed gazing at her. Through the past months, their quarrel became more often and they both noticed that. They were always arguing about things and giving each other the silent treatment, well, that was more on Mikan's part since Natsume was not naturally a talker. They both knew that this was the perfect time to be honest with each other and so they would speak up…

"Hey, Mikan."

Natsume turned around, his eyes were sharp, and he was apparently in a worse mood. "We're talking. Can't you see?" he snapped at Tsubasa.

Tsubasa just smiled which annoyed his cousin even more and said, "You had your time. I'm just gonna have to steal her for a moment." He eyed Mikan and asked, "Come with me?"

"Sure," Mikan agreed quickly to escape Natsume.

She did not mean to be rude but she had to just get out of there, in Natsume's grasp, to think clearly or else her brain would explode from all the thoughts running in it. She thanked Tsubasa inwardly. He took her on a walk towards the pool designated for kids and he offered her some chips which she gladly munched. Honestly, Mikan didn't feel bad for leaving Natsume hanging up like that because they were never saying anything either and there was no more to say.

"I guess by the time I have given the two of you, you have finally made up."

Mikan looked on the water and smiled sadly. "It's not like we fought," she answered but no one would believe it since it was crystal clear that they were having a cold war again.

"Aren't you locking yourself to him too much?" he asked seriously but not in a harsh way like a caring brother.

"I'm aware of that and since I'm aware, I've been trying to let go of him… step by step. Do you think I'm doing a good job?"

He simply shrugged and answered, "I don't think I can tell that to you since we just saw each other again but do you really mean it? I love you for my cousin. Even though he hates me for whatever reason, I still want the best for him and it's you."

Mikan smiled. "Wait 'till you meet Nobara. I think Natsume is in good hands."

"No one can handle Natsume better than you," Tsubasa said it to her eyes which showed that he really meant it.

She chuckled nervously and patted his shoulders. "Thanks, Tsubasa. If only my best friend thinks the same."

He frowned at Mikan's reaction which showed that she was not being confident. She could take all of them, it was just that his cousin was an idiot, so he told Mikan, "He is. Trust me." There was an assurance, a guarantee, and he was pretty confident about what he said. He tore his gaze from the brunette to his cousin who was not on the brightest mood today. "Oh, look. He is already glaring at me. You should go to him right now because I don't want a fight at the end of the day."

"Not my problem."

"Why you…" Tsubasa hissed and smiled when he remembered something, "Before I forget, these are for you."

He was hiding it behind him the moment he snatched Mikan from Natsume and he was excited to give it to her to make her feel better even just a bit. Girls loved flowers and it didn't matter if you were giving it for them to impress or for them just to make them feel special even for a day, what mattered was you remembered them. So, basically, Tsubasa got it for Mikan to relieve her pain even for a short moment. After all, she was his little sister.

"Wow. Flowers… and they're daisies. Thank you!" she exclaimed, looking very happy and touched.

Tsubasa was glad to hear those words from her. He was thinking of sending his girlfriend one, too. "I knew it would make you happy the first time I saw it. Just so you know, I am really happy to meet you Mikan, you are the sister that I never had and I will always be here like a brother does."

"What can I say? Thank you, Tsubasa."

He patted her in the shoulder and muttered to her, "Now, go and get him. You deserve to be happy and this is the only way, Mikan. I know you and my cousin will be fine."

Mikan was confused for a moment on what he meant in that but she nodded and hugged Tsubasa. She was thankful to have him as her counselor and adviser, also, her number one supporter. Her counselor just told her to go and get him and she would. No more doubts, confusion, and questions. This was her decision now and screw all the decisions she had made in the past. She loved Natsume and she would never put down a fight without a fight. If he would accept her, then she would be the happiest girl on Earth and if he wouldn't, then she would stay as his best friend. This was what important, to express the feelings of love and not hide it.

"Mother, Auntie, can I steal Natsume for a moment?" Mikan asked, grabbing Natsume's arm and leading him onto the isolated part of the area.

"Sure. Why not?" Mikan heard her Aunt Kaoru cheered.

"Thanks!" she replied, giggling.

"I'm having a lovely conversation with your mother," Natsume stated, acting like he was annoyed.

Mikan rolled her eyes and faced him. "Oh, please. As if you enjoyed conversing with other people."

"Mikan," he called out and how cute he was when he did that was something Mikan giggled about.

"Yes?" she answered him.

"I really mean it when I said I miss you," he said and he looked vulnerable when he said it.

Mikan grabbed his hand and looked at him in the eye. "Just don't go far away from me, okay?" She was pleading but she didn't care much since she could not imagine a life without Natsume.

He held her hand tighter and made a promise to her. "I'm always here."

"You don't seem to be," she commented.

Showing her emotions openly had become her habit for the past months. Before, she would smile at anything even though she was already facing a serious problem, she would still smile, but now she would not do that anymore. If she was feeling sad, then she'll cry. If she's angry, she will shout. If she was happy then she will laugh. There was no point in her emotions since the people around knew her too much.

Natsume frowned at her statement and argued with her. "What? I said I'm sorry already and you are still angry."

Mikan ignored the magnitude of the sentence. "You know me. Since when did I become angry at you?"

He just stared at her and grabbed her hand. "Come on," he said.

"Wait, I just wanted to talk to you for a moment and now you are taking me somewhere else. What are we going to do? They're gonna search for us."

"Let them."

Mikan did not agree with him so she made an effort to stop Natsume from dragging her. He glared which scared her a little but she made it gone by giving him smile and saying, "But I'll miss the food. I want the barbecue, there's some ice cream, and the cake. I want to eat more! Eat more and more and more and more and more!"

He covered her mouth with his hand and said an annoyed manner, "Geez. Pig, hush."

Mikan hit him in the shoulder hard. "That's what you get for teasing me!" she exclaimed and let out a loud chuckle.

He just narrowed his eyes and mocked her. "Should I be scared? Now?"

"How dare you mock me!" she yelled, laughing and gripping the collar of his shirt.

"Funny, huh."

"You are so unfair at times," she said grudgingly and pushed him a little.

"Oh, really? Who is being unfair all this time by being so adorable and irresistible?" he barked.

Her eyes widened and slowly turned her head to face him. She made a wide grin and opened her mouth. "Hey. You called me adorable and irresistible? Never knew Natsume Hyuuga would say such things."

Natsume rolled his eyes, thinking that Mikan was stupid to not sense the sarcasm in his tone. "I'm lying. You should not feel flattered."

"I'm not saying I'm flattered," she retorted, smirking, thinking that Natsume was the stupid one for assuming things.

"Whatever."

They sat on the grassy land of the private resort and golf club. The teasing died and the atmosphere pretty much indicated that a serious talk was going to happen. Mikan kept on stealing glances at Natsume because she was unsure on what to say next or how will she open this topic that had been lingering on her mind since Natsume's Math Camp ended.

"Did something happen between you and Nobara?" she asked slowly, thinking that the slower the less embarrassing it was to ask. She glanced at him and saw his lips twitched. "You smiled! What? Tell me what happened." In reality, she really was not sure if she wanted to know what happened.

"None of your business," he answered rudely but it was not the purpose of having his own privacy but rather to keep Mikan from having a reason to be sad again.

Mikan shook him and wailed, "You have to keep me updated."

"Still none of your business."

She glared at him. "Natsume, you promised."

He did, didn't he? But he never expected that it was this hard to tell to her. Of course something happened, something special, something wonderful, but he could not tell her that. He would just summarize everything, left out the details, and would just give her the idea. Seeing her persistent expression was just making him decide more that she did not need to know. "Let's just say that I had fun and I am right on the part that she is amazing," he said.

Mikan was disappointed at his explanation but felt that if Natsume did not want to tell it, then something really good must had happen. Are they together already? It was the first question that came into her mind but if Natsume and Nobara were, Natsume would tell it immediately to her. His answer made no sense at her but it still made her dissatisfied. "Good for you," she only muttered.

So he hurt her feelings for not telling anything but Natsume did not regret it. Besides, since when love became the subject of their conversations? They had always talked about school, art, responsibilities, the future, the past, the present, family problems, good times, old times, and the subject of love came out rarely until this year. Since Mikan became aware of Nobara, she started questioning about her but not quite much but then, it changed. She started questioning more often which was not good. Before her love for him, she was his best friend, so how could they make the friendship work if Mikan was being blinded by her love for him so much? This had to stop or be prevented. He needed to change the subject.

"My Dad is not contacting us for three weeks already. Aoi and I know what he is doing but Mom chooses to be blind about it. I hope she will talk about it to your Mom since she is good at knocking some sense out of my mother."

"Natsume, are you okay?" she asked, concern was all over her face.

He shook his head. "I'm not. I don't care about my father but I start caring when it affects my mother."

Mikan pursed her lips, hating herself for not noticing the problem Natsume was facing. She was always thinking about herself… always. A good advice would suffice her lack of performing the role of being the best friend. "I don't have the courage to confront my father if that will happen to me and I don't know if he will listen. They are old enough to know what is wrong and what is right so instead of going after him, I'll just support my mother and ask her if she still wants my father back."

"And if she said yes?" he asked with his same husky voice.

Mikan thought about it for a while and when she found the answer, she smiled at him. "Then I guess I'll have to gain some courage since from the very beginning, I don't want to lose them both."

"If she said no."

"I'll assure her that I will always be here," she answered with sincerity.

"Do you want to see your father?" he asked her.

"Before, I don't but I do now."

"For what?" he asked because her reason might help him now.

"Because you told me to!" Mikan joked but when she turned serious she intertwined her arms and stretched out, "Maybe because I have many question to ask him. Questions with answers I'm not even sure if I want to hear but I need to know anyway so I can stop with all these speculations inside my head."

"Nobara said that I should be there for my mother and my sister since I'm the only one they have now."

She was caught off-guard by his statement. The fact that Natsume told Nobara about this first sent her a feeling of insecurity. He could have told her earlier but he did not. She did not know what to say to him, if she would confront him first about not telling her about it or if she would respond to the thought of his statement. Was she losing the sole purpose of their friendship? The purpose of being there for him first and foremost. Was she overreacting? Because, after all, she was not Natsume's only friend and it just so happened that Nobara was the closest person to him at that time.

"I agree with her," she managed to say.

"She also said that I am not too young for this and I can handle this," he added casually.

Was there more? Mikan wanted to slap herself. "She's right again," she said while placing an awkward smile instead of the wide grin she originally planned to show.

Natsume looked back at his family which were meters away and said, "Aoi wants nothing from my father."

"I can't blame her if she wants that. How about you?" Mikan asked, wanting to know Natsume's decision.

He smirked and looked at her. "I can't wait to do the same thing," he said.

She nodded and called his name. "Natsume."

"What?" he asked, glancing at her.

"But please don't close your doors for your father," Mikan asked of him. She knew it was a hard request to fulfill since with all the lying Natsume's father did to them but she believed that everyone deserved that second chance to make things right.

"Sure," he just said, like he did not mean it.

Mikan placed her hand on his shoulder, looking at his eyes intently. "I'm serious, Natsume."

He sighed and gave up. "Okay. I won't."

Mikan nodded in satisfaction. At least, he promised he would be open for any negotiations with his father. "Have you ever gotten the feeling that you are saying this stuff again and again but it's not the real deal, like you are just saying it for them to stop and for you to stop answering about it but inside you are not serious about that thing?" she asked, actually referring to him.

"In short, it's a lie."

"A lie?" she was surprised at the term and then continued, "Maybe you can call it like that. So did you?"

"I do," he admitted.

"How come you've never told me about that?"

"Guess," he teased, grinning.

She growled at him. "You are being mysterious again."

Natsume just gave out a smile, shaking his head, nervousness was all over his face. "I am not. It's just that I don't think I am ready to tell you."

"Come on?" Mikan asked persistently.

She began tugging his shirt like a child, repeatedly asking him what was it that he was lying about, and reasoning that he should tell her because they were the ultimate best friends in the whole wide world. It was a funny scene to watch, the ones that could make one smile, and it showed that Mikan was being comfortable with Natsume again and Natsume was showing the side of him that could actually laugh again. Mikan's both hand was bust tugging the hem of Natsume's shirt and as she turned to the side to face him more, Natsume saw the flowers that she placed behind her.

"Where did you get the flowers?" he asked, surprised and suspicious.

Her hands were still on his shirt as she looked down at the pastel-colored daisies. "Tsubasa gave it to me. Aren't they cute?" she asked him to agree with her as she smiled.

"I don't want to comment on that," he said, stood up, and walked away.

Mikan was astonished by his sudden action of walking out on her. She repeatedly asked him what was wrong or if she said something that made him moody out of the blue but he did not give her any answer though. She wanted to smack him, fuming at him in such a low voice so that other won't hear. They were talking decently and then he just walked away, great… just great. Natsume was just a few steps away when Aoi came in front of her.

"Nice flowers, Mikan."

Mikan smiled, her eyes followed Natsume. "Thanks. Didn't you receive one?" she asked.

"From who?" Aoi asked, having no idea on what Mikan meant.

Suddenly, an arm wrapped around Mikan's shoulders and Aoi chuckled evilly. "Are you kidding me? My cousin doesn't deserve one."

Aoi acted like she was affected. "How dare you talk to me like that, Tsubasa?"

"Is my sweet little cousin going to cry?" Tsubasa teased, removing the arm around Mikan to pinch Aoi's cheek.

Aoi pushed him and rolled her arms. "I'm older than you, excuse me."

"But you are so immature," Tsubasa said, giggling.

Mikan was pretty much left out on their teasing and just walked away, rolling her eyes and smiling at them.

"Wow. And that is coming from you? Come on, kill me now." Mikan heard Aoi said.

"Can't take a joke, huh?" Tsubasa replied.

Mikan ran to have some attitude talk with Natsume but her mother called her and said, "Mikan. We need to go."

Mikan groaned and asked, "Already?"

"I got a call from the office," Yuka explained, readying their things.

Mikan walked lazily towards her mother. "It's already late and they still want you at the office?" she asked unhappily not because her mother's work was stealing their bonding time since it was happening all the time but because they had just to leave like that when things between her and Natsume was somehow still unclear.

"They need me. You had your time with Natsume so I guess we can go."

"If they really need you that bad then there's nothing I can do," she muttered.

Yuka appreciated her daughter's understanding of the situation. She then turned to Kaoru to say her apologies and goodbyes. "I'm sorry we have to go early, Kaoru."

Kaoru smiled and shook her head. "No worries. Thank you for coming and for your advice."

"That's nothing. We're friends and will always be."

"Goodbye and see you real soon," Kaoru said and hugged her best friend.

Mikan turned around when someone said to her, "Goodbye, Mikan."

"Goodbye, Tsubasa. I hope I'll see you soon." She said it while smiling but she was really sad because she will really missed Tsubasa. She opened her arms and tiptoed to hug him. She appreciated all the beautiful things he had done for her and it all happened in just a day. He was really caring, she thought.

"Me too," he said and hugged her back.

Mikan broke the hug and said to him, "Thank you for the daisies."

Tsubasa gave her a challenging look and tapped her shoulder like men do. "Next time I see you, you better be my grumpy cousin's girlfriend already."

"Oh, shoo." She responded with a laugh.

Mikan grabbed her bag which was resting on the table and stomped to get into their car. She saw that her mother already started the engine so she quickened her moves. She did want to talk to Natsume a little longer but she needed to guard the house since it was getting late and it would be hard if she will not come with her mother now. She just made a few steps when she saw Natsume and yelled, "Natsume! So, see you at school."

He ran to her. "You're leaving already?" he asked and offered, "I could just send you home."

"Nah, it's fine."

"What's the rush?" he asked, disappointed at her answer.

"I'm not rushing," she said defensively.

He noticed that he was being forceful again and calmed down to say, "See you at school."

"Bye," Mikan bid.

He nodded and said, "Bye."

"Come on, Mikan." Yuka called.

Mikan's neck stretched to see her mother. "I'll be there. Bye, Aoi."

Aoi smiled at her and leaned closer to whisper something to the brunette. "Wish we could have talked but my little brother was with you the whole time."

Mikan blushed and promised her, "Next time."

Aio chuckled at her reaction and said, "You mean that. Goodbye!"

* * *

><p>"Are you happy?" Yuka asked, glancing at her daughter. She was asking this to know if she had fun not because of the celebration but with the time her daughter had with her best friend.<p>

Mikan snorted at the somewhat malicious inquiry of her mother and asked, "What's with the question?"

"You got to finally talk to Natsume after two weeks and it looked like he missed you too," Yuka explained.

"He had some quality time with his girlfriend," Mikan answered like it was nothing for her to say something like that.

"What? Girlfriend?" Yuka asked in surprised.

Mikan was shocked at her words, too. "Did I say that?" she asked, hitting her head lightly for mentioning such things.

"What is going on, Mikan? Is Natsume dating somebody officially?" Yuka asked her daughter, her voice was rising.

"I don't think we can call it that," Mikan excused.

Yuka hated it when her daughter was lying to her because she would know it eventually and her daughter would deny it. She never taught Mikan to lie. "So he does. What is this? You are chasing him and yet he has someone he likes." She was lecturing her, making her daughter's eyes open to the truth.

"So what, Mom? I told you about it already," Mikan retorted, annoyed.

"Don't you think you are going too far?"

"Are we seriously going to fight about this?" Mikan asked, getting irritated at the conversation second by second.

Yuka tried to relax her fingers that were on the steering wheel, breathed in and out, and convinced herself that she would start a heart-to-heart talk to Mikan. "I don't want to quarrel with you. I just want you to realize the consequences of your actions. Mikan, he is your best friend and he has someone he likes and with that, you should understand not to pry on them anymore. It's his right, his want, his need, and you, even though you love him with all of your life and even if you are the greatest friend he has, you don't have any right to pry."

Mikan shook her head. "I am not, okay? I am just being his best friend and at the same time, I am doing my best to show him that I love him."

Yuka convinced herself that her daughter was a lost cause. "Sometimes, I want to ask myself where you got all that stubbornness."

"I thought you support me with this," Mikan said, her voice was weak.

"I do, I do. But, if I see you get hurt, I won't have second thoughts and will ask you to stop."

"I'm trying, Mom. Believe me."

"You better be sure about that," Yuka warned.

Mikan nodded. "But I don't want to stop. I just realized it."

She did. She could never let go of him. They might be see her like some obsessed teenager who was deeply and madly in love with a person but as far she knew, she was never close to being one and she was just following her heart. She was not obsessed with Natsume because she knew her limits and she respected him and will respect his decisions. If after all the efforts she would do after tonight won't still work, then she must decide what was best for everyone again. Really, she laughed at herself, deciding for everyone was such a selfish and huge responsibility.

"Why?" Yuka asked, could not see the point of his daughter for continuing.

"I want Natsume to love me and not some other girl," Mikan said in determination. She felt lighter when she said that because it was her goal after all the lies.

"You are his friend. Make sure you don't forget that."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," Yuka answered.

Mikan looked out at the window and declared, "I am not going to be selfish."

"You better be," Yuka prayed.

* * *

><p>"Yes?" Mikan asked, smiling at the girl in front of her who was very familiar to her.<p>

"Is this Natsume's locker?" the girl asked, smiling back, seemingly to know the person who was in front of her now.

"Why?" the brunette inquired.

The girl looked at her in puzzlement and asked, "Why? What kind of question is that? I just want to put this."

"A love letter?" Mikan teased.

The girl laughed, shook her head, and turned to Mikan. "Not really. It's just a sketch that needed his coloring skills since he is so good with the choosing and complementing of colors."

"What for?"

The girl shrugged, her lips thinned. "It's not really important. So, is this it?" she asked for confirmation.

Mikan nodded, feeling a little proud of what she was going to say next. "Yes. Our lockers are always beside each other."

The girl just chuckled, knowing her message, but still said, "Thanks, Mikan."

"No worries," Mikan said in all honesty. The girl then waved goodbye at her and started striding off. Mikan's head fell down while smiling, feeling amused at herself for handling that sudden situation well. She expected her to snap because of the teasing but she did not.

"What's with the smile, Mikan?" Koko asked who was suddenly beside her and then she remembered that they had to go on a meeting together.

"I just met her," she answered, still smiling widely.

Koko looked around but so no one in significant so he asked, "Who?"

Mikan frowned at him and ordered rudely, "Go to your class, will you?"

Koko just chuckled. He knew very well that Mikan was aware that they had to go to a meeting and yet she was shooing him off. When she started walking, Koko just watched her. She was smiling, he just asked a few questions, then she snapped. She really was unpredictable and something… which Koko seemed to forgotten what was the word he would use to describe her. It took a few seconds when he remembered what was it and just muttered, "Weird."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>A kinda long chapter to make up for not updating for almost a month. I promise you that you won't have to wait that long again for the next chapter to arrive because I will publish it in a week, more or less but the moment my new internet connection is installed, I will upload it at once. <strong>

**Review if this chapter is worth it reading. I will be very excited to read your comments about this chapter after a few days. Thank you. **


	12. Trip to Your Heart

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Twelve**

_**Trip to Your Heart **_

_I'm not in it to win it_

_I'm in it for you_

It was like a school festival. Students were all over the place on their casual clothes, chit-chatting about today's event. Some of them were trying to find a shade under a tree as they wait for their friends and some were exposed to the sun beam, feeling its heat in the middle of a cozy-chilly weather. As the assembly time came, faculty members of Alice Academy were already lined up in the stage just before the main building of the school. Today was going to be a hard day for the teachers as they needed to supervise their students the whole day with extra effort since they were touring onto public places. They were dealing with the hardest age groups to deal with namely teenagers and children.

Misaki-sensei adjusted the volume of the megaphone on his right hand. He could see the other teachers were instructing the students to make up two lines each section, boys and girls were separated. The buses were already coming and with that cue, Misaki-sensei knew that he needed to start the brief orientation. It was needed to discuss the students what they needed to do and do not do. He glanced at Narumi who signaled him that it was time now for the students to get on the bus so he did what was told to him.

"Go to your designated buses! Don't leave your trash on school grounds and instead, put it in the garbage cans which are just a few steps away from you are standing. No pushing of students while getting on the bus, you are in high school for heaven's sake. This is an educational trip and not a holiday vacation so please behave as you are instructed to and learn as much as possible. Schedule of the trip will be explained by your advisers inside the bus as you cannot be contained outside. Listen to it and listen to it well. We don't want to wait for any students who are late for the time everyone is supposed to meet. Be late and we will leave you. We are as strict as possible because Alice Academy barely has field trips or excursions or tours or whatever. One thing we all ask of you all is to behave. Okay?"

There was no response but the loud cheer coming from the students who were running to get on the bus, not caring if they were pushing each other just to get the perfect seat on the bus. It was true that Alice Academy rarely made trips outside the school that was open for everyone so the students could not contain their excitement for today.

"Just let them," Serina said to Misaki, "I think they deserve to be free today. Let's go?"

"Whatever," Misaki mumbled.

"This is going to be fun!" Narumi exclaimed, clapping his hands.

"So childish," Jinno commented, rolling his eyes.

Meanwhile, Mikan belonged to the students who were walking excitedly to get on the bus. She was very excited for this day to come because she got to sit with Natsume and could have the whole day with him. She looked around, hoping to see Natsume so that she could ask him to walk with them but he was nowhere to be seen. Mikan was distracted about him for a while until Anna's voice ran into her ear.

"I am so excited that I barely slept last night!" Anna exclaimed, clasping her hand together that showed how excited she was for today.

As always, Nonoko agreed to her statement. "Me too! How about you, Mikan?" she asked, turning at her side to take a look at Mikan, who was also busy glancing to her left and to her right.

Mikan looked at Nonoko and asked, "Seriously?" She meant to be funny at her response.

Nonoko jumped, placing both of her hands at Mikan's shoulders. "Of course, we want to know, you know. Since you are sitting beside him."

The brunette smiled and said to her, "I just want to enjoy this day and you guys should do that, too."

"You are so right!" Anna chirped.

Mikan nodded, walking past them to be beside Hotaru. "Hey, Hotaru! Who are you sitting with?" she asked in excitement and curiosity. She never got the chance to ask Hotaru who was her seatmate, not that it was such an important thing to ask, but she just wanted to know.

"Yuu," she replied shortly.

"Yuu?"

Hotaru faced her. "Yes, Yuu. We have to talk about the upcoming excursion of all the committees."

"You are assigned for that?" Mikan asked, thinking of how much big of a responsibility it was.

"Yes."

Mikan then broke out a smile and laughed. "But this is a tour. You shouldn't be talking about any school-related activity."

Hotaru's arms rolled, her eyebrows raised, and gave Mikan a look. "I fail to see the rationale in that because this is a school activity. Besides, we only have a week to finish it all. The venue is already been taken care of since one of the board members offered his large private island that is not too far from Tokyo."

"Cool," Mikan replied, not knowing what to say.

Hotaru nodded. "I know. This year might be worth attending for."

"I'm glad I joined a committee," Mikan cheered.

Hotaru just smirked at her. "I'm sure you are," she said and Mikan just giggled.

They were finally just a few steps away from the bus and after a while, they were finally inside. Students were making their way to their seats, chatters were all around, and there was a big indication that the rule of the students of the same section should be on the same bus were not abided by the students themselves. Some fled away to be with their boyfriends or girlfriends and some group of people from different classes and year levels decided to be on the same bus. The students were really excited even if the destinations of the tour were not far from Alice Academy. They did not really mind if field trips were for elementary students, the fact that they had this day to relax a bit was wonderful enough.

Hotaru stopped at the second seat in the front, seeing that Yuu was already there. "My seat is here. Find yours now."

"Okay," Mikan said, nodding and finding her way to find a seat.

So far, no sign of Natsume. She was already losing hope that he remembered his promise that he will sit with her. He could be anywhere and even sitting beside Nobara. The idea made Mikan frown and started scolding herself for not talking to Natsume about the arrangements for today. It skipped her mind or she just thought that everything would be fine today. She then found an empty seat on the middle part of the bus and was about to sit on it when a voice behind her spoke.

"You said we are sitting together."

She smiled, knowing that the voice was so familiar, and knowing that the owner of the voice did not break his promise. "Didn't see you immediately," she said, turning around and automatically sitting beside him. He left the seat beside the window free, knowing she loved that part.

"I can't believe how useless your large eyes are," Natsume said to mock her.

"I can't believe you insulted my eyes. They are beautiful, you know?" she retorted playfully.

Natsume snorted. "Beautiful my ass."

She glared at him. "Not a very nice thing to say, Nattie."

His face soured when he heard that and said, "Don't even call me that."

"It's cute so no," Mikan answered stubbornly.

The bus was already moving, exiting through the large gates of the school. Mikan felt like a child, looking back to see the view of Alice Academy from a bus and she was satisfied at the experience. Giggling silently, she relaxed her back and adjusted herself of the seat, placing her small backpack on the small space on her right. She liked travelling a lot and even planning to tour the world one day if she could get a lot of money. There were just so many fun things about travelling. She could name some of the few things why she loved traveling and it would include getting to new places, discovering something new always, having a new experience every minute, meeting new people, appreciating the nature, and many more. If given the chance, she would want to travel the world with her best friend.

"You look excited," Natsume stated his observation.

She did not waste any minute to reply to him. "I am. It's just that… this is such a different experience."

"I brought my camera with me so you are free to take some pictures," he informed.

She automatically broke out into a smile, praising Natsume intently for being so concerned. "That's great. I bet its memory will have no space for anymore pictures after this day."

"That wouldn't be so surprising," he said, smirking.

"I promise you that we will have fun today."

He ruffled her hair, stating to her, "We always do."

* * *

><p>Their first destination was at a park filled with Sakura Trees. The park was surrounded y walls around making it a private place to be and if you want to get inside, you would have to pay an entrance fee. It was a business meant to be a tourist spot. The weather was windy and it was spring so the park was a perfect place to be. Actually, the goal of the tour was for students to be aware of what lies around Tokyo and not only dwell on the city itself. Alice Academy wanted this to be educational and fun at the same time so they decided to go to the places that served both of the need criteria. In every planted tree, information like their scientific name, classification, family, and group were written on a board. The park may be full of Sakuras but other species of trees and flowers grew there as well.<p>

On every small bridge was a small pond. Information about the fishes present in the pond was also written on a board and placed beside the pond. Kids were enjoying the place more than the high school students but no one could actually deny that the teenagers were enjoying the place as well.

"There's a place like this in Tokyo? Wow!" Koko exclaimed.

Ruka laughed at his friend's reaction. "Beautiful, isn't it? Never knew there is so much nature around the city."

"It's like… I am seeing Sakura Trees for the first time!" Koko added with the same amount of excitement.

Natsume's subject on his painting had been trees for years but now that he his world expanded, he rarely used them. But he could see now why he liked to paint a tree. It was so graceful to look at, full of colors that made it so lively, and everything around it was gorgeous. He took pictures, getting amazed on how beautiful the trees registered into the camera because of their colors that were so pastel in shade. Their beauty could not be hidden even if it was autumn. He thought that he took enough pictures of the park and of his classmates, as well as, school mates so he decided to run through it.

"Can I borrow your phone?" Mikan asked beside him as he was busy scanning the photos he had taken.

He did not look at her and just went straightly at grabbing his phone on his pocket and gave it to Mikan. "Here," he said.

Mikan grabbed it and ran a few meters. "Hey!" she yelled at Natsume making him look up.

"What was that?" he asked.

Mikan took a picture of herself on Natsume's phone. "I'm making you my wallpaper and I'm making me yours," she explained while grabbing her own phone and took a picture of Natsume. He was standing in the middle of the beautiful group of Sakura Trees which were closed with each other, he was holding his camera, and was smiling at her. She was happy with the photo.

"You're not mine," he joked but she ignored him. "What's with this all of a sudden?" he asked, walking towards Mikan.

"I read it in a book," she answered.

"Oh? You read now?" he asked in amusement.

Mikan glared at him. "Shut up. I always do. I borrow yours sometimes, remember?"

He shrugged his shoulder, acting like he was unconvinced. "Well, I don't know. I thought you are just staring at them and not actually read them."

"Oh, would you just shut up?" she jokingly snapped.

He poked her in the forehead which made her groan. Later on, he gave Mikan the camera. "Hold this and take a photo of me," he ordered.

She was confused because Natsume hated taking a picture of him. "Huh? Sure."

She did what he wanted although she still didn't get the reason why Natsume was doing all of this. She took a photo of him, smiling. And she, too, could not help but smile at his handsomeness in the photo. She wished she could keep it.

Natsume grabbed the camera from her and ordered her. "Now, sit there."

"In the dried leaves?" she asked, not sure what the purpose was of sitting on it when it makes you itchy.

"Why not? Just do it."

"Okay. But why am I doing this?" she asked, sitting on the leaves.

He simply made a shot and was glad to see a smiling Mikan sitting in all those leaves mixed with dried and fresh from falling down from the tree. "I'll send you the copy of my photo. You are making me the wallpaper of your little computer and I'm making you mine," he said casually.

Mikan smirked and teased him by saying, "Nice words."

"You started it," he accused.

Mikan rolled her eyes. "You have no originality," she said.

"No one cares. I'm still better than you."

She pouted and him and said, "Don't sound too modest, Natsume."

With the time allotted on the park, they still had half an hour to walk around. Mikan asked a favor to Natsume to carry her on his back which was so childish and embarrassing according to the boy but in the end, after making him feel guilty, she carried her and they went to the part where less people go. Natsume tried on walking slowly, avoiding for him to trip.

"I think we can go here sometime and have a picnic," Mikan mumbled.

"Don't expect me to be there," he said.

She hit him on the head, leaning closer. "How mean of you."

* * *

><p>The morning was soon to be ended when they stopped on the shopping district of Tokyo wherein you could get good products in such a low price. All buses had found a parking spot and the advisers were starting to give the students a few instructions like what they should be here in the bus and explained a little about the shopping district. Girls liked the idea of actually spending money on 'crap' as boys categorized it.<p>

"Shopping? Cool!"

"I'm just going to stay on the bus," Natsume said, feeling as moody like the other boys who hated shopping.

Mikan stood up already, disheartened by Natsume's decision, but of course, she would not let him off the hook. He would accompany her whether he liked it or not. "No, you won't you are coming with me and actually help me to buy things."

He groaned. "Mikan, accompanying you to shop is the last thing I want to do right now."

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to stand. "Come on. Be my best friend for once."

"We are not going through this again, aren't we?" he asked seriously.

She gave him the same serious look and said, "If you won't agree, we definitely will."

"Fine."

She might be thinking that she could control him to whatever she asked him to do, Natsume thought. He hated being ordered around but he did not really mind it when Mikan was the one doing so. Simply because she was his best friend and something more. He could already imagine if he accepted Mikan's feelings, they would act like this all the time, like there was no tomorrow and they needed to be with each other every second. It was a very inviting idea but analyzing the consequences, it was not a very good idea after all. At least if they were friends, there were no jealousy, doubts, and lesser problems.

Yes, he could have a girlfriend and he would want that to be Nobara. There was a strong attraction between them and they were so much alike that it was not hard for them to get along. He would ask Nobara to go out with him after this trip is over and before the Organization Ball. Amazing, he was with Mikan and he was thinking about her.

"These glasses are cool. Try one!"

"Fine," he agreed, grabbing another and put it on Mikan. "Here, try this."

"Does it look good on me?" Mikan asked, trying to find for a mirror.

He removed the shaded from her and placed it on the counter. "Yeah and I'll buy this. This matches yours."

"Cool!" she said happily.

The more they stayed longer, the more they discovered things. There were shops that sold only unique items in very low prices. Most of the time, they just window-shopped but when Mikan really wanted to buy something, she would.

"We should buy couple shirts!" she said, walking towards Natsume while holding the shirt she was referring to. She saw him frowned and she knew why so she made a quick recover. "Okay, not really couple shirts but shirts for best friends like us."

He turned his back to her, busying himself to other items. "I'm not interested to that kind of things," he said.

Mikan clicked her tongue. "Then you should be now. It would really be wonderful when we buy some. Please?"

"No, you can't get me to say yes with that."

She tapped her foot impatiently, staring at Natsume who was obviously not caring. "Don't be so stubborn. I'll buy it and if you want to wear it, just tell me so. If you don't want it, I'll still buy it for you."

He stared at her, analyzing the sad face she was displaying now if it was real or not real. "Whatever," he said, agreeing to her once again.

"I knew you would say that," Mikan stated cheerfully.

"Mikan and Natsume are being so cute today," commented Anna, who was spying on the two as everyone was eating their lunch.

Hotaru glanced at the direction where Anna was looking, placing her stoic expression as always because she could not see what was so cute on Mikan and Natsume today. "I wouldn't call it like that. They are just acting normally."

Nonoko nodded and said, "Yeah, their friendship has gone through a lot for the past days. Maybe they are just taking advantage of this opportunity to hang out." She then faced Anna, adding, "But I agree with you that they are being extra cute today."

Koko smiled, eating the last bite of his lunch. "I kinda disagree. They are acting like a couple if you would look at it closely."

Rolling his eyes, Ruka glanced at the topic of their subject and found that everyone had their points but he agreed with Anna and said, "Ignore Koko. He is just being the fan boy he is."

"They are more than friends but less than lovers," Yuu interjected.

Anna was surprised to hear Yuu talked because he had been silent since lunch time started. "What makes you say that, Yuu?" she asked.

Yuu shrugged, looking at them like it was very obvious. "Everyone says it. The whole school knows about them."

"The world is waiting," Koko added.

"Their relationship would not even last if not for Mikan," Hotaru argued.

Ruka frowned at Hotaru's comment because it was offending and as Natsume's pal, he would want to make something clear to her. "Natsume wants Mikan, too." He said like he was sure of it and he was… at least based on his observation.

Hotaru's expression soured when Ruka argued with her and she did not like to be corrected. "Hyuuga does not need Mikan, Nogi."

For Ruka, the way Hotaru said it was like she was challenging him to prove his point and that was what exactly he was going to do. He did not know that Hotaru Imai had so little faith in Natsume. She talked about Natsume like they were mortal enemies and a very bad influence for Mikan, much to Ruka's dismay. Everyone in the group supported them openly except for her who always has something to say just to argue with everyone's opinion and it seemed like Anna and Nonoko were already aware about this because they hardly talk back. Ruka groaned but not too loud, seeing that Hotaru Imai was glaring at him. He could not help it. He hit the table and stood up.

"No, you're wrong. It is perfectly obvious that Natsume could not even last a day without Mikan. Everyone knows that. Heck, even the least people who care about them knows that. They make up each other and they support one another. All of us are aware of that. And you, you are Mikan's best girl friend, you should also saw that way long before everyone but no! You always argue with everyone else. The people around us? They can also see it and feel it. Why is it the only who can't see that is you?"

Ruka felt like he borrowed a line from some movie, maybe something that he watched last week or last year, but he did not know it could come so handy. He was staring at Hotaru whom he rendered speechless. He waited for her to say something but nothing happened much except for the staring contest between Hotaru and him. He could see that the rest of the group were exchanging glances and that was when he realized that he talked too much considering that he did not know Hotaru so much. He felt guilty but he did not regret saying any of it, thinking that everyone was entitled with their own opinion and he just happened to say it out loud. There was nothing wrong with it since he was just defending the relationship that was ideal for him. So, he decided not to say apologize.

"Fries, anyone?" Nonoko offered awkwardly.

* * *

><p>Everyone was called to get back on the bus so that they could move onto the next destination in where the members of the Art Committee would surely love to go. Mikan mingled with her other friends for a while as Natsume busied himself into the art of photography. Anna and Nonoko said to her their comments about she and and Natsume being so adorable today and Mikan could not help but look at Natsume as she smiled. They looked normal to them but she was trying so hard to not let Natsume out of her sight. She was being possessive and jealous and she could not stop herself to the point that it worried her. She was acting like she was in some competition like what Sumire told her a week ago.<p>

Mikan did not want to be the jealous best friend but how could she not if she loved her best friend who liked someone else. The case would be a lot simpler if she did not tell about it so early. She could be the girl who was secretly in love with her best friend and he could be the boy who was oblivious to it and that everything he does seemed to be perfect. But then again, that was not their case. Mikan hesitated to go back in the bus as she gripped tightly the handle on the entrance of the bus but she stepped on even if. She immediately saw Natsume, giving her a smirk. Natsume was her best friend so there was no point to impress him because he knew her every single flaw but she wanted to be deserving for him. She wondered if acting so adorable today had at least left an impression to him or made her an edge.

She already sat beside him, looking at the window. "It is surprising to see you being so kind today," she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked, making himself comfortable at his seat.

MIkan's eyes narrowed, asking herself why was Natsume stupid at times. "You agree with every single that I asked of you. Yes, you complained a little but in the end, you still agreed to it."

"I'm just making it up to you for acting like a jerk," he replied.

That made her smile. "Thank you."

"No big deal."

She ruffled his hair this time, smiling at him. "We're like on a date. This little tour served an excuse for me to take you out, solo."

He closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep. The ride on the next destination was going to be long. "This is not a date, Mikan. Sad to say."

"I know and it never will. I hope you will see the good side of me today."

"What do you mean?" he asked, opening his eyes.

Mikan gulped seeing how crimson his eyes were. She always admired them and always loved the fact that he got to own such beautiful eyes. "The side that you can love," she said.

"I am not talking you about this in a bus," he replied firmly.

She shut up for a while but she could not stay not talking for minutes. "Why did you walk out last weekend? In the middle of our good conversation, you just did that. Sometimes, you are being unreasonable and it's making me think and I hate thinking about things which has no reason behind it."

Natsume thought that she was really hopeless when it comes to shutting up. "I walked out because I want to," he answered, annoyed.

"Is that even an answer?" Mikan asked grumpily.

"Let's just sleep since the travel will take long," he suggested, avoiding the topic.

Mikan held his hand, looking around to see if their voices were loud enough for everybody to hear but everyone seemed to be asleep, listening to some music, and busy to find their own entrainment. She just prayed that no one would take an interest to eavesdrop on them even if the space was so open. She looked at him demandingly and said, "Natsume, I want to know."

He groaned, avoiding having an eye contact with her. "You did not do something bad, if that is what you are worried about."

"Then, why?" Mikan asked, persistent to know.

Natsume ran his hands on her face, looking frustrated. His eyes travelled around to make sure that the conversation was kept private as possible. "Because my cousin was being stupid," he said dejectedly.

"Tsubasa? No, you are wrong. He did not do anything."

"For you, of course. But in my eyes, it's different."

"Oh, so you are being malicious now?" Mikan asked, upset to hear those from Natsume.

"I'm not," he said defensively.

"It is what you are implying." She pressed her point more.

Natsume hated it when he had to defend himself like what was happening now. "No. It is you who said that. I just hate that guy and you know that very well."

"I know, oh, yes. I know very well but I don't know the damn reason why!" Mikan yelled, covering her mouth. She stood up to see if she disturbed anyone and she did because the students at the front including Hotaru were giving her a questioning look but she just smiled at them, assuring them that everything was fine and telling them that she and Natsume were just talking about why Sakura Trees were pink. Lame.

Natsume pulled her to sit again and explained. "Because he gave you flowers. He hugs you, he teases you, he smiles at you, he makes you laugh, and all those stuff."

"You're jealous?" she asked, amused.

He smirked. "No. I'm being a protective best friend."

"Just because of that?" she asked, disappointed.

"Of course. Why? Do you expect me to say that I'm jealous? Mikan, you know me."

Mikan stared into space, refusing to answer him. When she snapped out of it, she looked directly at Natsume and said, "I just want you to know that when you lie, you talk too much."

There was no point in hiding it. He had to think of a way to get back to her so he just stated what he had observed so far. "I just want you to know that when you are not being yourself, you also do thing exaggeratedly."

Mikanw as shocked to hear that from him because she though he didn't notice but who was she kidding… Natsume was her best friend not for nothing. "I was trying to impress you," she retorted, her face was angry.

"You can't do that."

She closed her eyes in frustration, clenching her fists. "Yeah, I know. But, can't I try?"

Natsume pinched the bridge of her nose which made her scowl. He could not believe how Mikan's love affected him so much that he would say the things he would say next. Usually, he didn't give a damn but he just could not do that, can he? "You don't love a person because of the good point that person has. Love or whatever it is, it looks on the good and the bad side. That's the real deal."

Mikan looked down after he said that. "Oh, God. I'm such an awful friend."

"Don't whine in the bus."

"Sorry."

He adjusted himself to Mikan's direction making him to even sit on Mikan's in which she complained about hogging so much space. He felt that she hit him in the chest but he was barely affected but it so he just smirked, closing his eyes. "Just be yourself and I'm okay."

* * *

><p>Natsume woke up to see Hotaru glaring at him from her seat and he was amused on how much effort she could have wasted just to catch her see how much she hated him. He glanced beside him to see Mikan sleeping soundly, her head was leaning on the window. He looked at the time and saw that twenty minutes only had passed after he decided to go to sleep. The bus just exited Tokyo and he wondered where they could have go next. He looked at Mikan once again to see her mouth opened which made him giggle and since it was so funny to look at, he did not even bother to close. Instead, he placed a hand on her shoulder that was nearest to the window and pulled her to him so that she could sleep on his shoulder instead. The faculty assigned to their bus stood up and started explaining the next destination to those who were awake.<p>

He then stared at her sleeping figure and kissed the top of her head. He snuggled her closer in which made her wake up in the process.

Mikan opened her eyes, glancing at the window just to see the unfamiliar road they were taking. "Where are we?" she asked, yawning.

"Outside Tokyo. Saying that we are heading for a museum."

She smiled, her eyes closed. "Sounds good. You Art Committee members will enjoy it for sure."

"You think?" he asked, trying to sound doubtful.

Mikan slapped him playfully and looked around her. "Everyone's asleep," she commented.

"Half of the day is done and the travel time is long. It's good to rest."

"Does it give you the creeps?" Mikan asked all of a sudden.

He glared at her. "Make sense for once in your life, Mikan."

She chuckled and continued to ask. "To know that I love you?"

"Before but not now," he replied.

"Define 'before'."

"When you said you had a crush on me just because you wanted to have to," he explained.

Mikan remembered the good old days when everything was easy and simple, unlike now, when everyone was growing up and choosing to be more than they actually were. Up to now, she could not still decide if growing up was a good or a bad thing.

"But I'm not lying about that," she said after her train of thoughts.

"You just randomly picked me," he sound offended.

She went back to her original position in Natsume's arms before waking. "Well, when I said I love you, I didn't randomly pick you out, alright? You are actually the guy."

"I like her," he said to her, staring at the window.

Her right hand made its way to his head and hit it. "Way to break my heart, jerk."

But it really hurt.

* * *

><p>"This looks wonderful. Can you paint like this?" Mikan asked pointing at the abstract painting hanged on the wall before her.<p>

"I can," Natsume answered shortly, not wanting to explain more.

Mikan's jaw dropped and wailed, "Ego alert. Ego alert."

He covered her mouth. "Shut the trap," he ordered.

She removed his hand, glaring at him. "Fine. Look, I'll be over there and you can go around. I want to be free for some minutes."

"Look who is talking," Natsume said, smirking.

Natsume watched Mikan walk excitedly toward her other friends. He realized that they were confining themselves for each other the whole day, not that he was complaining, but that might be the reason why no one from Ruka or Koko had approached him today. He guessed that they were being stupid again, probably fighting over some painting for the meaning of it. Most of the students just passed by at the paintings, not even bothering to see the meaning behind the lines and colors. Mikan was right about how Art Committee members were going to enjoy this place seeing how much they gawk at the portraits. He just hoped that when he exhibits his paintings, he would get the same reaction. He made a mental note to call Misaki tomorrow for updates.

"Art can be use a way to rebel, right?" Nobara asked, referring at the art work before them.

Natsume glanced at her, smiling the moment he saw her. "Done it before," he said proudly.

Nobara looked surprised. "Oh, you should tell about that some other time."

"Sure," he said.

She smiled at him and went back on admiring the painting that signified rebellion. Before she forgot, she opened her bag and placed a paper bag out. "Look, I bought you something."

"What's this?" he asked, accepting the bag with no hesitation.

"A shirt. It's a couple shirt, actually."

Natsume was surprised to know that she made an effort to buy something. "Thanks," he said, looking at her.

Nobara just smiled shyly. "See you around," she bid, waving her hand.

He opened the bag and saw that it was the same shirt Mikan picked out first earlier. He could have just rejected the gift but when he remembered that Mikan made him buy something similar, he did not see any point on rejecting it. Or maybe, he would just accept everything from Nobara. He followed her trail and saw her with her friends from the Art Committee. The girls around her seemed to be cheering for her for actually giving the gift to him. He shook his head in amusement, thinking on how hard it was for Nobara to do something like that. She liked him, he could feel it. There was a big possibility for them to be in love but thinking on how young they were, love would just be an illusion and still not real.

She was so cute when she gave her gift to him. Making a small talk first before actually giving the gift had always been sly for him. He should give something in return, not because he was obliged to but because he was planning to give something to her long ago.

"I just lost my sight on you for ten minutes and you are holding something in your hand. What is that?" Mikan asked, looking so curious on what was on his hands.

"Something good," he replied misleadingly.

She rolled her eyes and gave him a dirty look. "Make sense for once in your boring life, Natsume."

"Very funny," he commented, starting to walk to get to the exit.

Mikan followed him and said, "I'm so good."

He corrected her. "Not bad, is the word."

"Hurting your ego?" she teased. "So, what's that?" she still remembered to ask.

"Come on," he said to make her walk faster.

They stopped on a bench in front of the museum. They were facing a fountain illuminated with different colors of lights that looked really beautiful. Mikan asked Natsume to get some photos of her and he did. Night time had come so the fountain looked ten times better than it was when the sun was about to set. Many students found the fountain and the area around the museum beautiful spots, too. Group pictures were shot, also individual pictures. This was the last spot of this year's tour so they took all their time to take photos of themselves. Too bad, inside the museum, it was forbidden to capture some photos of the painting but if given the chance, Natsume would have taken it.

Mikan got tired of posing so she decided to sit back on the bench. She admired the beauty of the sky before asking Natsume, "Okay, honesty time. Do you want me to model as sexy as that for you?" She was referring at the lady in the painting earlier.

He snorted and asked for confirmation. "You really want to know?"

Mikan swallowed. "Oh, God. That perverted smirk."

"What? You asked."

"I didn't know my best friend is a pervert," she commented, trying to be look afraid.

"All men are," Natsume said.

Her nose wrinkled in disgust. "That is so gross."

He smirked. "Maybe for you but for us, it's art."

* * *

><p>They were already seated again in the bus, ready to go back at home. Honesty time was still not over.<p>

Mikan laughed at Natsume's story on what was the first comment he got the first time he joined the Arts Committee. The president then said that his painting was immature and messy but Natsume proved him wrong in the end. For someone who had a big ego like Natsume, that was just a total funny moment in Mikan's point of view. it was a good thing though that the president was not looking in his reputation but he was looking way beyond that and that would be his talent.

"Let's just change the topic. Okay, your turn."

"Any potential boyfriend I should know?" he asked casually.

Mikan's nose wrinkled again because the question surprised her. "Oh, gross, none. I would only want to be with you."

"No need to say that," he warned.

She looked down. "Sorry."

"You hate Nobara?" he asked.

Mikan frowned at his question but then she smiled. "Surprisingly, I am looking forward to know her."

Natsume was glad to hear that from Mikan and for her to have the same opinion as Nobara when it came to meeting with each other. Maybe they were going to like each other and not fight. "Your turn to ask."

"Have I been one of your inspirations for your paintings?" she asked, hoping his answer would be yes.

"Want to know the truth?" Natsume asked teasingly.

"That is why this is called honesty time, idiot."

He blinked many times, looking at her eyes, and said, "You always are."

Mikan cupped his face, shook it, and said, "I'm glad to know that."

He expected her reaction would be ecstatic and overjoyed instead of the simple response she made. He could not say he was disappointed due to her lack of enthusiasm than her usual, but he was rather worried. He glanced at her as she was busy looksing through the window, the city lights were beautiful from their place. Natsume wondered what Mikan could be thinking right now. He wanted to know what was on her mind because he could not read her now.

"Wow. That surprises me."

Mikan simply nodded. "Can I lean on your shoulder? I want to sleep."

"No need to ask," he answered, pulling her head toward his shoulder.

The silence on the bus was normal. It was already evening and everyone was tired from all the walking that it made them want to take a nap while on trip. The atmosphere was very different compared to this morning when everybody was energetic for the trip. He felt Mikan move indicating that she was still finding a comfortable position. Mikan's breathing was audible as he could hear it and he could also tell that she was cold that was why he wrapped an arm around her. All of a sudden, she held his hand. Instead of savoring the feeling, he started to get worried for himself.

"Why can't you love me?" Mikan asked, tightening her hold onto his hand.

Natsume knew that she waited for an answer. But he did not give it.

* * *

><p>The bus could only drop them at the street before their actual street or else the bus would be out of its way on the road. Half of the students were gone when they took off the bus and they were very tired with all the walking and nonstop use of energy. Natsume and Mikan walked silently with no one bothering to suggest a topic to talk. He could sense the long strides Mikan was taking and her effort to be quiet throughout this walk. Slowly, she was getting faster and advancing.<p>

"Little girl."

"What?" Mikan asked without even glancing.

Natsume breathed, analyzing the situation and the mood of his best friend. He didn't answer her before but he was ready now and he would give her the right answer. Funny how Mikan put effort today just to impress him because she really didn't need to do it for the reason that no matter how bad or good she was, he would always see the best in it. Because they were the best of friends. It was a natural reaction for friends to accept the flaws of each other. They were already in front of his house and in just a few steps Mikan would finally reach hers too.

"What happened today is the very reason why I don't want to fall in love with you."

Mikan only stopped on her tracks. She knew Natsume would blab something about that so she was actually prepared. She saw the lights on their living room that indicated that her mother was already asleep. Well, it was almost midnight anyway. She gripped her bag, still trying her best not to turn and face him. Yes, she knew the answer but she did not think that he would still answer it. Mikan was very fine with his answer. She felt no sadness or hatred because she knew it all along and if she had the power to change Natsume's feelings, it would have been long ago. Right now, her hope was the only thing keeping her love.

She respected his decision and selfishly thinking, he should accept hers too. She did not expect him to appear in front of her and explain his side because Natsume was not the type to do something like that. He did not stop her when she started walking without saying any word. Mikan thought it was because Natsume's smart enough to know what she would say so it would be pointless to say it. She did not dwell much on what just happened because it would just add on the stress and pressure she was feeling. She also tried not to laugh on how ironic it was for him to say that what happened today was the very reason why he did not want to have a relationship with her when she was trying to stir him all day.

But, he was right. Their friendship superseded the typical caring of simple friends and it was something to treasure. Sometimes, their friendship was very ironic and complicated.

Mikan opened the door and searched inside the living room. She saw her mother near the telephone looking relieved out of something Mikan could not comprehend. "Mom?" she said, calling her attention. It was midnight but Yuka was still awake contradicting Mikan's first thought that she already went to sleep and just left the lights on.

"Your father is on the phone." When Yuka said that, it was then that Mikan realized that her mother was holding the phone and her father was indeed currently on the phone and not just leaving some message.

"Oh," was Mikan's response because she could not think of any reaction more appropriate than that. She was not ready for a telephone conversation with her supposes-to-be father but this was a chance she would grab.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>I know the title is cheesy and cliché but I couldn't help it! And I know it's short but this is how I usually write chapters so there. Oh, and hey, I do not own <strong>_**If It's Love**_** by Train. **

**Thank you for the reviews last chapter. I've noticed that some of you are getting annoyed by Mikan's stubbornness and Natsume's irrationality which make it harder to stick onto the story and this chapter is not different from the others; it is very similar to the past 11 chapters. I am aware with the slow character development or having no character development at all but I'm working on it. Nonetheless, thank you for the reviews. I am always afraid to receive negative comments but none of you said that this story is stupid so I'll definitely be motivated to continue it. Whatever your thoughts will be, I'll accept it. **

**I apologize for the long wait but this is my soon-to-be internet provider's fault. They are taking so long just to process my application! Well, never mind. **

**Thank you for the support. Leave a review because logging in on FFN now is good for a week already and not just for three days? **


	13. Bridges and Burns

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Thirteen**

_**Bridges and Burns**_

Yura glanced to her left and right to find her friend whom she bet was just out there on one of the tables in the study area. In her hand was a cup of juice and as she was sipping, she finally saw Nobara. As a girl, she could tell easily the difference of Nobara's aura from before. Her friend looked so radiant, cheerful, glowing, or whatever synonymous with super happy. Yura walked a little faster to reach her friend because she wanted to talk about something that concerned Nobara's personal life and past. She saw that Nobara was holding a book that was about art but Yura didn't have the slightest interest about books or even school so she did not think of even asking what she was reading. For Yura, school was fun. Being in school was better than just staying at home and the allowance was a plus, that was her reason for still attending classes.

"You look happy," she commented, interrupting Nobara's reading time.

Nobara smiled smugly at the entrance of her friend, closing the book as she paid attention to Yura. "I always am since I don't have any particular reason to be sad," she said with a face brightened up.

"And you have any particular reason to be happy?" Yura mocked.

"Shut up, Yura. Stop teasing me."

Yura made a surrendering gesture, saying, "Alright, I get it. I just came to say that a kid from the principal's office asked me to give you this."

"What were you doing on the principal's office again?" Nobara asked worried as she grabbed the letter from Yura's hand.

Yura simply shrugged. "Just a little cutting classes. No big deal."

Nobara stared at her knowingly. "I'm getting worried about you, Yura. You've been acting really rebellious in the past years."

It was true. At first, Nobara thought that she was just going through the stage wherein teenagers rebel a little because they want to discover things in their own, fun way but Yura's habit of skipping classes, being close with the wrong choice of people caught Nobara's attention greatly because it was affecting Yura's studies and relationship with other people, even to her own parents. They were friends for many years now but the only indication that Yura was close to a family member was her blabbing of her cousin before. Much to her dismay.

School was important for Nobara in a way it was normally important for a person that wanted success. Yeah, she was smart and had talents but that was not the reason why she loved school, it was because the people in it and the lessons she was learning everyday outside the classroom. In a way, she could relate her point of view to the students in the Art Committee. So, to see Yura disregarding school as was weird for her and as a friend, she had to remind her to be serious but sadly, that was the only thing she could do right now because nobody was ever allowed to command another person on how to live his or her life.

"Nobara, chill. I wouldn't worry about if I am you because I can totally handle this."

"Whatever. I'm just reminding you."

"Let's just open the letter," Yura suggested, seemingly more excited than Nobara.

"I think I'm going to open it when I come home."

Yura Otonashi rolled her eyes. "Whatever makes you sleep at night, Nobara."

"Thank you so much, Yura."

Nobara tried to return to her book but in her peripheral vision, she saw Yura fidgeting as if there was more that she wanted to say. After years of being friends, Nobara could not believe that it was still hard for Yura to talk to her. She was not untouchable or superior, no, she was never one. But why did people find it hard to approach her? She wanted to ask Natsume later why.

"I'm aware that I am not the kind of friend who is always with you and is always there for you but we barely talked last week. You've been very busy hanging out with your boy."

"Stop calling Natsume 'my boy'. It sounds so weird."

"You know I can't do that. So, what's new?" Yura asked, pretending that she would be happy to hear it but she was just asking it to have Nobara's attention directed at her.

Nobara closed her book completely. Her eyes travelled from side to side and with one breath, she said, "I've decided to accept his feelings."

It was just as Yura expected. It had been long, too.

"Really? When?"

"Not far from now."

Yura looked at her friend worriedly. "Have you thought about this a thousand times?" she asked.

Nobara gave out an offended smile, questioning Yura from her suspicion. "Yes. Why? Is something wrong with my decision?" she asked.

"I don't know. Don't you want him to wait a little longer?"

"What's this? 19th century?" Nobara spat sarcastically. "I like him. There is no point in making this longer than what you are saying because in the end, I'll like him still."

"The idea of you having a boyfriend is really weird to me," Yura admitted.

"Because I've always hated boys?"

"You never hated them until—"

Nobara panicked on the next words Yura might spill so she made an effort to interrupt her sooner. "Yura, stop. I don't want to talk about him. I'm happy now and I just hope he is happy somewhere." She said it in a very authoritative voice to be effective. The surprise in Yura's eyes was very obvious to Nobara but she couldn't care less if she startled Yura because it was her fault after all for bringing the topic up.

She was crossing the line and being insensitive, Yura knew it herself. But, she was talking about it for a reason and she had no bad intention or whatsoever so Nobara's sudden switch to acting like superior would not intimidate her. Yura chose to continue what she planned to say. "I know my cousin is a jerk but—"

"You know what? I can't believe you are opening this topic after years. We were so young then, purely immature, and he never loved me."

"And Natsume Hyuuga does?" Yura mocked.

"Natsume is a great person. He deserves more than your insults."

Nobara was barely defensive because she would let people say whatever they want usually and she won't care a bit unless it was very necessary. No normal person would let somebody mock their loved ones and that was just what Nobara was doing now. Natsume was incomparable to that one person who lied to her about everything. She couldn't seem to concentrate on anything because too many thoughts were entering her mind. She had a habit of thinking things way over which was not good because it does nothing but bother her even while sleeping. She barely heard what was Yura ranting and only kept in mind the last parts of her blab.

"The way he treats you is the way he treats his best friend. Maybe less than that, I'm afraid."

It was upsetting to hear that from a friend. It was upsetting that what Yura just said might be true. There was no distinct difference on how Natsume was treating Mikan from the way he treated her. Nobara felt helpless as she was realizing just now, that it took Yura to say it aloud in her face just for her to notice it. But then again, she remembered what Yura was talking about earlier and she had the right to doubt her opinion now. There was a strong indication that Yura was just saying what she was saying to make her talk to her cousin and that would never happen. It was too much to ask for. Even though she was slightly worried, she still did not believe Yura's words.

"If you are saying that to convince me to talk to your cousin, then you won't succeed."

"He just wants to explain things to you."

"Why?" Nobara asked angrily.

Yura was ambushed by the question so she just let out a lame answer. "To clear his name?"

"Why now? Why not before when I am desperately asking for it? "

"What? Just because Natsume Hyuuga came, you don't care anymore?"

"Maybe. Yeah, you are right." Nobara answered her friend honestly and she was proud of what she said. She was being so open with her feelings, so what? She had every right to do so. "See? Guilty or not, nothing will change. Let's not talk about him ever again."

"That would be impossible," Yura said, smiling in disbelief.

Nobara closed her eyes to ease the irritation she was feeling right now and gripped on the nearest solid object her hand found so that she could at least release her feeling through it. "Can't you just promise?"

"Well, I promised him that I will convince you to talk to him."

"Tell him to get lost," Yura said firmly, looking so serious. "Goodbye, Yura."

The gray-haired girl shrugged her shoulders and placed her hands on her waist. She was disappointed on how things turned out. Now, she knew that Nobara would be so hard to convince. "Okay. That went so great."

* * *

><p>Her table was full of papers but being the neat freak she was, her table was still workable. Hotaru had so much paperwork to do and the most important of those was the progress report she had to pass to the adviser of the Writer's Nook. The deadline was not until next week but she was doing the report already so that it would not cause a conflict to more important works. Her table was across the large windows of their office and with that, she had the lighting she needed and so were the rays of the sun which were disturbing her. It was a good thing that the room was air-conditioned or else she would love to do the work outdoor rather in their office. She had everything that she needed for the report. She had her laptop, her draft, her energy drink, and her peace.<p>

After finishing the report, she would finalize the proposal for the upcoming Org Ball that was coming very soon. Hotaru Imai sighed not because she was cramming but because she was not feeling very well for the last few days and not in a way that she was sick, she was just feeling heavy. Maybe because for the first time in her life, someone had the courage to stand up to her and the fact that Ruka Nogi was never on her list of friends made it more unexpected. And, she was not thinking about Ruka Nogi right now. She could not believe that she let him under her skin. The thought gave her a headache. She was massaging her temples when someone just entered their office so casually.

Hotaru frowned to see the person, dropping her pen. "What are you doing here, Nogi?" she asked unwelcomingly.

"It is kinda obvious," Ruka answered taking a seat on the chair beside Hotaru's table.

"Apologizing is pointless. Go away."

"So, even if I apologize or not, you just won't care? Does that mean I'm forgiven either way?"

"I'll appreciate it if you'll leave me alone." Hotaru gave Ruka a cold look which meant that she really did not give a damn and what he was doing would be futile anyway. She knew how to handle situations like this so she knew what she had to say even if it was cliché, it was the truth. "Excuse me. I have work to do."

Ruka didn't listen to her even though her tone was full of authority. "You can't get angry at me for having a point and for telling you your mistake."

Hotaru glared at him. "I don't care."

"I don't regret anything that I said to you," Ruka said proudly.

"Then why are you here?"

"Koko told me—"

She stood up which cut him from talking. Hotaru's cold façade turned into a mocking expression and it was alarming but nor for Ruka. "You are not intelligent enough to come here by your own thinking."

"Not everyone is as smart as you," he retorted.

Hotaru was also a victim of stereotyping and what Ruka just said proved it. Just because she talked with sense, she looked formal, and she liked studying didn't mean that she was looking down on people. Though she believed much in her abilities because for her confidence was a must.

"I didn't say that." She didn't know why she said it and how pathetic she looked like when she blurted those words but it didn't matter anyway.

Ruka shook his head with a smile. "You implied it."

"I'm not having this talk with you."

Ruka shrugged his shoulders knowing that there was no way Hotaru could kick him out now because his resolve was too strong. "My reason for being here is to ask you if you already realize that Natsume needs Mikan." Ruka finally stated his purpose for going all the way just to talk to her.

Hotaru let out a laugh. "I know he needs her and Mikan needs him."

He did not expect for her to say that because it was clear that Hotaru did not have the slightest faith on Natsume and Mikan's relationship. His mouth dropped, not knowing what to say with that. Ruka replayed his last conversation with Hotaru and he could clearly remember how against she was to it. Had he changed her mind? But, that was too impossible even if he used all of his charms to her. Hotaru was looking at her like she knew that this was going to be his reaction.

"Then why?" Ruka asked, confused.

"What why?" she asked innocently.

"Why are you being so against it?"

"Because I know for a fact that Natsume will never love Mikan… or will show his love rather."

"Wait, are you saying that you believe Natsume loves Mikan?" Ruka asked to answer the questions forming in his mind.

"Of course. Which stupid person would not think so?"

"But, I thought…"

"Apparently, you thought wrong." Hotaru was ready to explain it to Ruka so she closed her computer and paid her full attention to him. She was explaining her side because of what he said last time. There was a part of her that wanted to defend herself and that was why she was doing this. She cleared her throat first before starting her introduction. One day, Mikan would thank her for doing this.

"Aoi Hyuuga had a bad experience in loving your own best friend. Hyuuga fears to lose Mikan in that way."

Ruka scratched his nose while shaking his head. "That's impossible," he said, referring t the many proofs that Mikan and Natsume's friendship was stronger than that.

"Really, Nogi?" Hotaru dared to ask. "Are you saying that they won't fight? Not get jealous? Not doubt each other or mistrust one another for some time? Are you so sure that they will be a perfect best friends-turned-couple? I think not."

"Don't you have faith? Their friendship has gone through ups and downs and the way they stand so strong up to now proves that they have such a strong friendship."

Hotaru shook her head, disappointed that Ruka was not letting her finish thus not seeing her point.

"They started out as childhood friends. As we grow up, we have to leave those things sooner or later and we won't even know it because we are so engrossed at our newly discovered interests. They are not the same as before, Nogi. Their friendship is at the edge that the time Natsume will complexly push Mikan away, it will crumble so easily, like it had no foundation in the very first place."

"I don't believe that."

"Think about it," Hotaru challenged.

Now, that he had thought about it. "What made you come up with all of these?" he asked.

Hotaru crossed her arms, smirking. "I know everything."

"You should support them."

This time, Hotaru frowned and turned her back. "I will be there when Mikan needs a shoulder to cry on," she declared like she was getting ready for it a long time ago.

"What if Natsume realizes that the risk is worth it and he will show his love for Mikan?"

She turned around again and this time with an expression that looked like she already came up with the thought long ago. "The better. Isn't that the point of all these? The ten years that they have shared, aren't they only for one thing?"

Hotaru could just said 'love each other'. It was easy to guess though.

"Expressing what you really feel inside?"

She then snickered moderately, thinking that Ruka's unsure face was so comedic to look at. "As cheesy as it sounds, yes. Definitely. They know each other's flaws, bad attitude, and weaknesses. They know everything about each other and they can feel when someone is in trouble. They are friends for ten years, for heaven's sake. But, why can't Hyuuga just tell her his feelings and see from there how everything would turn out? Nogi, you won't feel sorry because of a thing as long as you stick to it."

"Fear results to nothing," he concluded, smirking.

"And regret is a bad feeling."

Ruka was surprised to hear that sentence from her because he was the only always saying it to his best pal and hearing it from Hotaru now, made him realized how cool it sounded. "Hey, that's my line."

By this time, there should be a mutual understanding forming between them about Mikan and about Natsume but Hotaru was not finished yet. Everything she just said was true but there was a twist to it and she was sure that Ruka was fully aware of what the twist it which made her decision not to show support to Mikan firmer. It would take such high quality for something to make her laugh but Ruka's coming alone in to her was amusing for her. She did not imagine Natsume's friends to be this supportive but then again, she knew it was a good thing, to have friends like Ruka.

"But, you see, everything is complicated now. Because Hyuuga has his attention to Nobara Ibaragi."

Now that Hotaru mentioned it, there was something Ruka would like to ask. "He likes her, too. How would you explain that?"

"Like is entirely different from love," Hotaru replied.

"So, he's suppressing his feelings and directing it to someone else?"

"Precisely."

"What if he completely falls in love with Nobara?" Ruka asked, dreading what could happen if it was true.

Mikan would be so sad, Hotaru thought. But, when fate had already decided, even the strongest love could not do anything. She did not answer Ruka's question straight away because she was occupied on imagining how Mikan would feel after everything ended. She focused on nothing and absentmindedly said, "When two people are meant to be, they will end up with each other no matter how the world hinders it."

"Just go with the flow," she heard Ruka say.

She immediately looked up. "No. We will watch, see, and make a move when the situation requires."

"I'll trust you with this, Imai."

"Worrying is pointless," she declared confidently.

Ruka nodded in agreement, feeling glad to earn Hotaru's silent support. "I'm glad I talked to you and Koko…"

"One more thing, about Yome."

"What about him?" Ruka asked.

Hotaru smiled evilly, her eyes were mysterious. "Tell him to continue what he is doing."

"Which is?"

"I have to go. I can't work with many disturbances."

She did not want to elaborate anymore on what she meant by that because it would be obvious sooner. She grabbed her laptop, her files, her drafts, her notes, and her pen. Hotaru decided to continue her work on a place where no one could disturb her just to ask questions about Natsume and Mikan because she wanted to keep it low profile. She did not even look at him when she grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

"Wait, Imai!" Ruka called out loudly.

Hotaru turned with an irritated expression. "What is it again, Nogi?"

"I still won't apologize to you."

She just smiled which was more than fine with Ruka. "Suit yourself, Nogi."

* * *

><p>The moment Natsume Hyuuga exited his classroom, she quickly went to ran for him. In her hands were her notepad and pen which she would be using the moment Natsume Hyuuga started talking. What she was doing was not part of her official routine in the school paper but she found the usual doing of finding a nice event to write something to so she just decided to continue her report about Natsume and Mikan.<p>

"Hey!" she called out and she knew that he heard her. Him, stopping on his tracks told her so.

"Do I know you?" Natsume asked rudely.

Sumire nodded cheerfully with a wide smile. "I'm a freshman student here and I'm doing a survey on how much you liked the tour?"

Natsume rolled his eyes. "It's nice," he answered and started walking again.

"Wait! That's it? It's just nice?" Her follow up questions were just coming right of her mouth because if she went silent, he would completely leave. "Don't you Art members know how to describe an event in beautiful but honest words?" she added.

"I'm not stupid. I recognize you."

Sumire started walking normally rather than running to reach him. "Oh. Better then."

"I have no time for you."

"Don't worry since I am taking all your time," she said happily but it didn't please Natsume.

"Listen, whoever you are, just bug off. I don't have any time for your nonsense questions."

Natsume completely walked away from her but she did not bother to follow him more. Sumire just made faces behind him and said, "Snob." Every time they meet, Natsume Hyuuga would show nothing but rudeness to her. She put back her pad and pen inside her bag and walked casually. She failed to have an interview with him again but looking at what day was that day, she calmed herself. "It's good that I have plenty of time for this," she assured.

Meanwhile, Natsume was not worried that the girl was still following him but he was more concerned on what was she trying to do. She was trying to pry on his own business when she was nothing but a kid who knew nothing. Honestly, he was not interested in having a new friend now because he didn't think he can handle another person who seemed to be having Mikan's attitude. For all the crap he was experiencing, he needed to have some good time. His father was just proving everyday how unworthy he was, Aoi was still not caring, and her mother was still being a martyr. He could not track the time the day his father stopped contacting them. He should not care but he could not. It was because of his mother.

Aoi texted him just now saying that Kaoru broke down on the office and was taken to the hospital. The doctor said it resulted from stress, anxiety, and trauma. He told Aoi that he would go at the hospital at once but she said that there was no need as their mother would go home eventually. It was a relief but it also showed how his mother was suffering. He was not usually thinking about school but with all the calls he had been receiving from different universities to chose them, it was beginning to be drastic. He had no time to think of college when it won't happen until a year. And, he could not tell all of these to Mikan because she seemed to be having a family situation as well. He did not want to bother her with his problems that had been going on ever since. Mikan already helped a lot. Crap from home and crap from school. Where would he go now?

He sat down on the nearest bench he found and calmed himself. He had a two-hour break which sucked more because he had to wait for nothing just to attend English with Narumi. His phone rang and he saw it was Misaki. He chose not to answer it because he had no time to deal with her now. After a few calls, Misaki just left him a text message telling him that his collection should be completed now because he had to show it to his sponsors by next week. The last thing he needed now was something to add on the irritation he was feeling but the day was not really his day. How could he paint something beautiful if he was feeling heavy and problematic? Natsume thought of winding up. Maybe he needed to talk to Mikan or better yet, talk to Nobara. She would know what to do.

All of a sudden, a hand tapped him on the shoulder. He would turn around if not the person talked already. "What's giving you that grumpy expression?" asked Koko as he sipped his drink.

"Someone I met at the hallway," he answered but it was clearly more than that.

Koko did not believe him a bit though. He knew better what could put Natsume into a foul mood than believing his friend's lie about how it was someone whom he met at the hallway would be at fault. "What happened?" Koko started interrogating him.

"It's none of your business."

Koko made a defeating gesture. "Okay," he said.

Natsume glared at him for no reason and snatched Koko's drink. Koko was about to protest but when he saw how stressed Natsume looked like, he just gave up. Natsume could try his friend's refreshment just to cool down and when he got a taste and finished it, he crumpled the cup and threw it in the nearest bin.

"Why are you talking to me, Koko?" Natsume asked.

"I came to give you this." Koko handed out a letter.

Natsume just looked down on the letter and without even touching it, he said, "I'm not an officer."

Koko smiled shyly, his eyes were travelling around. "I know that but your club members, no offense though, act so high and mighty that I could not give out the details."

The raven-haired boy just smiled at his reason and accepted the letter. "What's this anyway?"

"About the committee getaway. We will have a contest similar to April Fools wherein every club must have a trick to prepare and the rest of the clubs should not know if it is real or not."

"The more we can't guess it, the better."

Koko nodded. "Exactly."

"What a stupid contest."

"You prefer problem solving?" Koko teased.

"Shut up."

"Listen, you don't mind if I date Mikan, right?" Koko asked straightly.

"What?" Natsume asked, taken aback by the question which came out of nowhere.

Koko smiled meekly. "You heard me."

"Don't play with me, Koko."

"So, would you mind?"

Would he? He did not know how to answer that was why he was not saying anything for at least half a minute and he could see Koko's expectant look. His question was an ambushed one. It was the first time someone had that kind of interest on Mikan and the first time that someone had the nerve to ask for his permission.

"She's my best friend," he said.

"I know. I know very well. But that is not the answer in my question, pal."

Natsume hated Koko's expression. He could not tell if Koko was serious or not. If he was playing with him, he'll never see the end of it. But, if he was serious, Koko was a good guy, right? "Why don't you ask her instead of me, fool?" Natsume spat.

"Aww. I'm just playing with you, Natsume. It is so cute to see your reaction."

He did not like what Koko just did. Natsume's face turned angry. "Get lost, Koko."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Koko apologized sincerely. He did not know that Natsume would be this affected by his joke. Koko knew it was not right to gag about that but he just wanted to test something so it was not completely done out of fun.

Koko's apology did not help a bit though to lessen the angriness Natsume was feeling. To make Mikan a subject of his joke was sick and he could not tolerate it. "Don't go making jokes about dating Mikan," he warned seriously. She clearly did not deserve to be mocked and there he thought Koko was someone better.

Koko sulked in his seat and could not look at his friend. "I've been insensitive. Sorry."

"Just don't repeat it. Ever."

"Promise."

Natsume could not care less at his promise because it won't mean anything until he would stick to it. He gave Koko one last warning. "You should be or else I'll break every bone in your body if you do it again," Natsume threatened and he just wished that Koko would get the message.

"Stop being so scary, man. I said I was sorry."

Koko really did put Natsume in a worse mood as he just walked out on him without a word. He reminded himself to spank Ruka the next time he sees him since this was all Ruka's plan. After Ruka's talk with Hotaru in which he convinced him to do so, Ruka just proposed a plan to joke Natsume about him asking permission to date Mikan. Koko did not found the reason behind it as he knew that it would piss Natsume off but Ruka made him believe that they were doing this on purpose. He really needed to get smarter so that Ruka won't have the chance to trick him next time into something like this.

Just in time, he could see Ruka walking towards him.

"How was it?" he asked.

Koko just shook his head, feeling guilty on what he just did. "He took it pretty seriously."

"That coward, Natsume."

"He is so jealous," Koko described.

"He should be. Imagine if you would really date Mikan, it must really tear his heart apart. But, he should be the first one to know that you will be the last person who would want to date Mikan since you two are just good friends, right?"

Koko had no choice but to nod. "Ah… right."

Ruka patted him in the shoulder and started walking ahead to get on his next class, mumbling, "Today is such a good day."

* * *

><p>He waited for her to finish from her last class. Natsume was fidgeting and feeling nervous. He could not believe that while in the middle of depressing situations, he would have the nerve to ask her out. He just hoped that everything would turn out well even though he planned it to be casual like it was supposed to be. Mikan might be waiting outside the school gate but he was sorry to disappoint her now because he had something important to do. It was just a date but no matter what, asking a girl out would still take an amount of courage. Natsume figured out that he had not done anything so romantic to Nobara so far and now that he was so appealed by the idea of winding up, he thought this would be the perfect time although it might not seem to be.<p>

She was holding her sketchpad when he saw her and said, "Hey."

"Hi! What are you doing here?" Nobara asked, looking so happy to see Natsume.

"To walk you home." He was offering it and not actually stating it but Nobara took the offer gladly without any more words.

Nobara was smiling secretly as they were walking in peace. She was stealing glances at him who looked the same, so cool and attractive. She could not believe how this simple walk and how cute he looked when he waited for her made her feel so giddy and loved. She wanted to tell Natsume that she was accepting his feelings but she thought that it was too early for that and she did not want him to find her easy.

"I received a letter today from a university," Nobara informed, "And I know it is a scholarship program. This is a good sign, right? At least, for now, I can dream of continuing my education in college."

Even Nobara had problems but she didn't seem like it and Natsume admired her for being strong at times like this. "That's nice," he commented.

"Surely, you did not wait for me to talk about nothing." She opened every possible door form him to ask her out and she visibly had no idea what was going in his mind.

"Let's go out on a date." He finally said it in a very cool and natural way.

"What?" Nobara asked, shocked by the invitation.

Natsume made a few steps to get before her. "Let's have dinner," he said, looking like he was begging for it.

"You are so straightforward."

"Just agree," Natsume interjected, ignoring the comment.

Nobara giggled. "And bossy."

"Will you please go out with me this Saturday?" he asked again and this time, with more emotions.

She ran a hand in his soft, raven hair and whispered, "Yes, I will go out with you this Saturday."

"Better."

"How long it took you to ask me?" she asked teasingly.

Natsume just smirked and thought of a good retort. "Were you waiting?"

"No!" Nobara exclaimed quickly, "I'm just asking."

"If you say so," Natsume said, laughing. After his laugh died, he stared intently at her. "I've always wanted to ask you."

When he said that, Nobara made her best effort to stop herself form kissing him.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Aww, guys. Thank you for the reviews. <strong>_**All**_** of it. Thank you so much for the support. Thank you for letting me know what I am doing wrong and what I am doing correctly. **

**I have already written something up to the 17****th**** chapter and hopefully, I'll finish them all in no time. I think this story will have more than 20 chapters according to my estimation. My internet is still not stable and I am still using the prepaid one which is really costly. I just hope my soon-to-be internet provider will do a rapid action to process my application and install the line already. I've been waiting for four weeks and it really sucks. I am ranting too much. **

**Review?**


	14. Carry Over The Top

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Fourteen**

_**Carry Over the Top**_

It was very normal to dine with your parents. People do it every day and everywhere. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and combined all those with snacks together with your parents should be just a usual event but that was not very applicable for Mikan. Since she had a complicated family and lost contact with her father years ago, dining with her own two parents was an experience she never had. Maybe after tonight it would be possible but she was not looking forward to it that much because as far as she knew, she was satisfied with her life. She was sitting at the far left corner in the restaurant, waiting for her 'turning point of life' to happen. Funny how she was expecting something to change after she talked with Izumi Sakura.

Mikan remembered the telephone conversation she had a few days ago with her father. He was inviting her to have an early dinner with him. Mikan wanted to tell how dare him call like that and invite her into meeting him when he was the last person she wanted to see but she could not do that because she promised to talk to him. She came earlier than the time they were supposed to meet because she did not want to walk into the restaurant and just see him. Mikan wanted to be prepared because seeing her father was one of the biggest decisions she made in her life. As the waiters and waitresses greeted everyone who entered the restaurant, Mikan could not help but count the guests coming in and be impatient with the time although no one told her to come early.

Her father's voice was very gentle and warm. Mikan could not help imagine what he looked like and if his personality was also gentle and warm. This was what she was trying to say Natsume that he was somehow lucky to see his father because in her case, she did not even know how her father looked like unlike Natsume. Mikan insisted her mother should come with her but Yuka disagreed greatly, telling her that this was her chance to be with Izumi for the very first time so interference should not happen. Mikan could cry for not knowing how it felt to have a father and for her many happy memories they could make but were not made. She wanted to feel the strictness of a father, his unique love, she wanted to hear what he would want to say every time she needed his advice, and she wanted to see how her father can make her Mom happy. All those did not happen. Mikan was giving him another chance but he should be worthy of it first.

The waiter had called her attention for three times already, asking her to order already but she insisted that she was waiting for somebody. Maybe the waiter was thinking that she was hanging out in a nice resto and would go out without even purchasing their product. But, food was something Mikan could not resist so even if Izumi won't show his face, she would eat. She heard her father's voice in the phone but she could not still imagine how he looked like. They had pictures in the home but she refused to look at it. She really did not want to even have a glimpse of it for many reasons and number one of it was to avoid sadness.

She sipped the water remaining on her glass when someone started taking the free seat on her table. Mikan was alarmed by the man who casually just took the seat that was for Izumi. She bit the ice that was on her mouth and placed the glass back on the table. She found the middle-aged man really rude for not even asking her permission which was the universal thing to do.

"No, I'm waiting for someone."

The man grinned at her and not long ago, smiled. "Yes. That's me."

That was when Mikan realized where she got her cheerful attitude. Her Mom was not cheerful and definitely not a happy-go-lucky. Yuka always took things seriously as her work preferred. Her mother was always formal and not the easiest person to approach but Yuka was perfect on her own way. Mikan could say she was star struck to see Izumi even though he was not a celebrity. Mikan might have earned her physical looks from her mother but in one look, she could tell that her personality was mostly from her father. She could not believe it. Izumi was finally in front of her, smiling like he was there because of the best reasons the world could think of.

"Oh."

Izumi nodded. "Do you want something or should I order for you?" he asked.

Mikan literally sunk on her seat a little as she was still astonished by his sudden appearance. She glanced at the clock and saw that he arrived on time. Izumi looked like a regular business man… with a coat. He looked very in to his job. Mikan could tell a hundred things about Izumi looking like a wealthy man but she could not come up with at least five things to describe him as a father. He was on her early forties, she could tell, but he did not look like it. Mikan bet that he was extremely happy as she and her mother suffered from his absence. Maybe her father already had a different family that was taking care of him. Right off the bat, Mikan had so many questions to ask him and she could not wait until she voices it all out.

"Do what you want," she said, answering her father's very first question to her.

Izumi recited all their orders. It was surprising to see how familiar he was on the menu when this was the first time he dined on the restaurant since he was staying abroad. Mikan looked around to see people eating as usual. The difference she and her father had with them was that this dinner was the very first one the shared and many personal things will be talked about later.

"I'm very glad that you are here today." Izumi finally started a conversation after the long silence. He went inside the restaurant to spot first thing his daughter who took out on her mother. He could tell that his daughter was nervous and so was he. "I missed you, my daughter. You've grown up well."

"Please don't call me that."

He was taken aback by what she said and he forgot that Mikan was not ready for this father-daughter problem they had to solve. "I'm sorry," he said, reminding to be careful with the words he would be spitting out next time.

Mikan sensed the disappointment he felt and the questions floating on his mind. "I just don't think that you have the right to call me your daughter but I am not saying that I am closing my doors for you. It's just that… it is going to be a long process."

Izumi smiled understandingly. "Don't worry. I understand it fully. Should I call you Mikan then?"

The brunette nodded, wondering how she could act so formal. "Yes, you can call me Mikan."

Dinner was served which interrupted Izumi's follow-up question. He loved to eat and tried to act as normal as he could be but his daughter was intimidating him. The last time he looked at her was when she was barely a year old and now she looked so tall, intelligent, and strong. He waited for this day to come so long ago and now that it was happening, he did not know how to start explaining things to his daughter. Mikan deserved to know everything because if there was one who was most affected by his separation with Yuka, it was her. He wanted to tell Yuka later how happy he was to see Mikan grew up as a nice child. He still had lots of questions to her but he did not think Mikan would answer him as she still did not trust him.

Izumi knew it was going to be a long process but remembering his reason for leaving them, he knew this was what he wanted. Besides, he left them to be a better person for Yuka and Mikan. He could see that Mikan liked the food he ordered which gave him relief because Mikan was being kind again. They were going to finish their food and soon their drinks. When they did, Izumi knew he had to start the talking.

"Months ago, your mother told you that I wanted to see you. What she didn't tell you is that we are communicating with each other for two years now."

"What?" was her first reaction and she almost dropped the glass of strawberry juice she was holding.

"She didn't take it easily also because she was hurt but I told her to listen to me first because I was doing this with all sincerity. I've been with your mother for years, Mikan. Those are the best years… so perfect and so wonderful."

He said it in a way anybody would believe it. Mikan felt nothing from his confession.

"Then why did you leave?"

Izumi smiled, like he was waiting to say his reason for many years but did not find the chance to tell it to anyone because no one wanted to listen to him. "Because it was too perfect. We stopped growing."

Mikan felt a pinch when she heard that sentence from her father. She had always heard excuses like this whenever couples break up but it was still unclear for Mikan on how can that it be a problem even now. She thought she would hear something like he never loved her mother or they were simply not meant to be but to hear something like it, it surprised her. She believed that it was the real reason but was the reason that complicated that it could lead to separation? They loved each other and he destroyed it because it was perfect. Mikan could not find the problem in that at all.

Izumi was a coward. Her father was a coward. And that was the reason she was looking for from him.

"You are already married. What would you want more than a perfect relationship?" she asked exasperatedly.

"Imperfection, perhaps."

"I don't understand." Mikan could not believe the words coming out from his mouth. "Why would you possibly want that?"

Izumi saw the confusion in his daughter's eyes. He was amused because he knew what she was thinking.

"The fear of losing my perfect family succumb me and I lived every day fearing it. I had to leave you because I need to live independently before I can finally support you. You came and I don't think I am ready to be a father. Mikan, I cannot live with fear always. I have to do something to find myself and become something that you and your mother deserve."

She did not know why it made her wanted to cry but not out of sadness but with angriness. "You left us. You were scared, right?" she managed to ask. The world was never ready for her. Her own father was not ready to love her and sometimes she felt that the people she loved considered her not that important. Because her father left her, she had formed insecurity.

"I did that to become strong and I did."

"You left me," Mikan said through gritted teeth, her fist clenched, "I needed a father, a protector, and my first best friend but you weren't there… you were never there."

That was right. He was never there and when his daughter said it, he felt guiltier more than ever. Just like every other person, Mikan needed a father and of course she needed one but Izumi did not want to father a child with fear enveloping the love he could offer. It was very hard to understand, his reason that is, but he would be more than willing to prove himself to his family now and he wished that Yuka and Mikan would still be able to give him a chance. He was not trying to bring back the past where everything was perfect because he knew better now and what he wanted was to have a normal family, with good and bad moments.

Looking at his daughter now, Izumi regretted the times he was not there whenever she needed someone to carry her, someone to be strict for her, someone she could talk to other than her mother… someone like a father. Yuka did not marry after they got separated but Izumi could not think if that was a good or a bad thing up to now. Even if his love for Yuka never faltered, it would never be the same and it would never be enough. Izumi was out of words after Mikan's emotional words and he did not know if anything he will promised will do good but he must try.

"I am so sorry for everything," he said, almost crying, "I cannot take it back but I can make it right. Just give me the chance to be your father."

"Now? When I don't need you anymore?"

"I'm old now but I still long for my father."

Mikan simply shook her head out of frustration and spat, "Sorry for not understanding you because I never had one."

That sent a pinch on Izumi's heart.

"When I left, it was very hard for me also. I missed you everyday… you and your mother. I've always wondered what you look like, how gentle is your voice, or how were you doing. Mikan, I wanted to be the father that you needed and wanted."

"How about Mom? Will you be the husband he lost?" she asked, measuring her father's resolve to bring them back. "Can you do that? Can you last until the end? Will you not leave us again?" she added, posing a challenge.

Izumi nodded, looking at her eyes straightly and firmly. "I can do that. But I am waiting for the right time."

"Every day," she said, emphasizing the words greatly and with tears that finally fell down. "Every day, I always question myself on what is with me that the people important in my life left me just like that. I envy other kids for having a father, amazing or not, the point is that they have a father. Am I ugly? Am I a bad kid? Am I not good enough? Those questions were inside my head up to now and I wake up every day, asking myself, what should I do to be important for that person so that he or she will never leave me. I keep everyone I love in my heart and I don't think I can shoulder it if another person leaves me. You left because you are scared. Good for you, you overcome it. But because of that, I started living in fear also."

That was when Izumi's tears started to fall also. It was very heartbreaking to hear that from his daughter, on how much his absence affected her. "God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

She wiped the tears that did not stop from falling, sniffing to clear her airway so that she could talk clearly. "I am angry to you for leaving us just like that. But, I always knew that whatever happens you are still my father and I will be your daughter, then I can't get angry at you more. Because even if you left us, there is a part of me that loves you and that will never die. Although, I can't forgive you right now because it takes some process but one day, I'm sure, that I will be able to forgive you if you deserve it."

"I will work hard for it," Izumi promised.

This was it. Second chance was given.

"You have to know so much about me. It's been sixteen years."

Izumi smiled, wiping the tears on his face. He did not know he would be this emotional. "I'd be more than happy to hear it and share you mine, also."

"Good," Mikan said, nodding, "I wanted to ask you something if that is alright with you."

"Ask anything."

Mikan had so many questions in her mind but she just wanted to ask one thing tonight.

"Do you have a family other than us?"

Izumi knew that the question would be coming sooner or later and he answered, "None."

Mikan smiled automatically. "Okay. I think this sound selfish but I'm glad to hear that."

"I'll ask a favor if it isn't so arrogant of me."

"What's that?"

He smiled at his daughter, wishing that she would agree because he really wanted to spend time with her even for a short period of time. Besides, he already proposed this to Yuka although she said to ask Mikan but she did not disagree so he thought it was a fine idea.

"You are going to have your summer vacation with me and your other uncles and aunties."

* * *

><p>She burst into the door with a huge smile on her face as she cannot wait to tell Natsume what happened between her and her father. She needed Natsume's say on this, on what he could advice on her. Natsume would be so surprise when she asked her this because she never mentioned to him that she already had an appointment with her father. The dinner she just had was something Natsume needed to know immediately especially that her father left her a favor in which she did not answer to yet. That favor was the very reason why she rushed towards Natsume house and not to her mother because Mikan knew what her mother would say so there was no point in asking her.<p>

It was still early, maybe eight in the evening, when Mikan burst into the door which caused surprise to Aoi Hyuuga, who seemed to be the only person in the house. Mikan looked around, worried that she came in to the wrong time but when Aoi appeared in front of her, she immediately asked where Natsume was.

"Where's he?"

Aoi pointed upstairs, giving Mikan a questioning look on what's with the rush. "He's upstairs. Preparing for something, I think."

"Thanks!" she chirped and started running.

She skipped steps just to get sooner to his room and tell him the news which cannot be classified if good or bad. His door was so familiar that she did not even bother to knock and just opened it. She expected Natsume to be on his laptop doing something or holding his sketchpad and pencil but none of those were true. Natsume was walking around his room, searching for something. Mikan had no idea on what he was doing and why he was dressed up. She wanted to ask him but her presence seemed to slip his mind which disappointed her a little. Her excitement fell down, knowing that she came into the wrong time and fearing that she was having an idea on what was happening.

The momentum was gone. Mikan tried calling his name but only a whisper left her lips. She was not totally disheartened so she yelled his name.

"Natsume!"

Natsume glanced at her, knowing the reason why she yelled and it was because he was not paying attention to her. He knew that Mikan came in but he was busy at finding his phone so he ciuld not attend to her immediately. "Hey," he greeted and resumed his search.

Mikan walked near the bed. "Where are you going?"

"Somewhere?"

"You are all dressed-up," she commented in an innocent tone, pretending to not know what was up.

Natsume was not in the mood to answer to Mikan. "Whatever you call it," he said dismissively.

Mikan grasped the nearest solid thing she touched, hoping it would help her gain confidence to tell Natsume why she was there. "So, I have news for you." She started coolly but Natsume was still busy with disarranging his things just to find his phone.

"My phone? Where did I put it?"

Mikan smiled and answered, "Maybe under the pillow where you always leave it. But, I have something to tell you."

He ran to the head of his bed and saw that his phone was just under there all this time. Natsume checked it first before placing it on his pocket and ran to the mirror. "Can't you tell it to me next time?" he asked Mikan.

"No, this is very important. I need your say to this."

"I'm busy right now."

"For what?" Mikan snapped.

Natsume shrugged. "For something important."

"But this is more important! Just sit for a while and listen to me."

"Mikan," he said, interrupting her.

The brunette ignored him and went to continue with her story just for the sake of him hearing it. She believed that when he noticed it was about her father, he would finally pay attention to her even just for a moment. "I received a call the other day saying that I need to go to this restaurant because I have to meet somebody there and it turns out to be someone I know, well, not know, very know, but know. So, I asked my Mom if she recognizes the number—"

"Mikan!" Natsume shouted that made her jump in surprise, "I'm busy right now so will you just please let me prepare here in peace? Whatever you are going to say, it can wait. Let's just talk some other time because now is not the right time."

She was correct at her theory for barging in at the wrong time. Mikan gave her a smile and a nod before saying, "Okay. Sorry." She turned around and started making steps to get outside. But, to every step she made, she wished Natsume would stop her and tell her that he was ready to listen and he was wrong but nothing like that happened. He just let her go silently. Just like that. Her apology was sincere but she could not help but feel a little upset at him for shooing her like that. Maybe she was talking too much causing him to yell at her like that. Maybe she really was wrong and she really was disturbing him. Maybe he was so caught up with preparing for his date that he did not even acknowledge her.

Mikan worried on her way of thinking. She could not demand Natsume's time all for her. Natsume had his own problems and lately, she was not able to help him because of their up and down relationship. She closed the door in silence and went for the stairs. Natsume's angry tone was still on her mind which just making her feel sad. She saw Aoi's expectant look as she was travelling downstairs and Mikan knew that Aoi heard it.

"What happened? Did you tell him?" Aoi asked, looking worriedly at her.

Mikan simply shook her head.

* * *

><p>He was waiting for her at the door. She asked to give her a few minutes to prepare fully and he gave the time she requested. Actually, he did not notice how time went by because his mind was on what happened earlier. Okay, he did not mean to shout at her and treat her like that. It might looked like he was taking her for granted again but he really was not. Mikan just came into the wrong time. A time when he was being busy and being nervous for tonight's date. So occupied that he did not even remember what Mikan was trying to say. He was sure that she was angry at him again and he could not help but feel guilty about it. The way she looked when she was going out was bothering him because she was excited when she came and so gloomy when she exited.<p>

Natsume shook his head, thinking what he did was right. Now, he was arguing with himself. If he did not do that, Mikan would have the habit of forcing him to always spend time with her and as for their case, would be much harder. If possible, he did not want Mikan to spend time with him every day because it will not help in the moving-on process. How could you forget the feelings you have for that person if the person was always around you? He was doing her a favor. Many times, he was convincing himself that he did the right thing but another part of him did not agree to it. Maybe because he was really wrong. Maybe because she deserved to be listened to. Maybe because he was really taking her for granted again. A cold war might start with him and her again and it was distracting him in all honesty. His relationship with her was getting more and more complicated.

Sadly, there was only one way to stop the complications.

"You look handsome, Mr. Hyuuga." Nobara's voice rang into his ears, making him turn around.

Nobara was wearing a black dress that stopped before her knees. Black suited her perfectly because it revealed the fairness of her skin. Her hair stayed the same but beautiful as ever. Natsume thought that his perfume was strong but the fruity scent of Nobara overtopped it. She smiled at him and he smirked in return.

"You are gorgeous yourself, Miss Ibaragi."

This time it was Nobara who smirked. "I know."

"Arrogant," he commented teasingly.

Nobara chuckled. "Are we talking about you?"

"Very funny."

Natsume made a reservation to the same restaurant where he took Mikan because of his deal with Ruka and Koko. It was the best place he could think of. The dates he went out with her outdoors were enough so he decided to take her on a formal dinner. The hospitality of the restaurant was the same that it did not fail to make Natsume remember the date he had with his best friend and how happy she was that night. He felt a pinch as he remembered her expression again when he raised his voice at her. He was having her date with Nobara and yet he was thinking about Mikan and what she could have felt. He wanted to come and see her but there was no way he was doing that now. He took Nobara out to ease his problems but it was Mikan who still capturing his attention.

"I'm so happy you asked me out."

Natsume forced a smile at her comment, saying, "Me too."

Nobara looked at him observantly as if she was reading his mind. "I am not easy, you know."

"I know. But, you still fell into my charms."

His arrogance put a smile into her face and made her say, "Oh, shut up."

"Let's order now," he proposed to change the topic.

"We don't need to keep eating on fancy restaurants. I like nature so you can just take me anywhere where art is."

The way she said it, it was like she was sure that there was more. Natsume was not stupid. He could clearly see that Nobara liked him and it scared him. He liked her also but the thought did not feel strongly enough to convince everyone in the world that he wanted to be with her. He knew that people in school would believe more that he wanted to be with Mikan rather than Nobara. He gulped, feeling uneasy. They had the same likes and dislikes, even hobbies. They did not argue since Nobara was always kind and he was always the guy she deserved. Why was he thinking of these things in the middle of a date? She was kind and beautiful. There was nothing he could ask for more. It had been so long since he started pursuing her so it was just about time for her to answer.

When she answered his feelings. Natsume knew why it put pressure on him. Because he knew the indications of that day and he did not know if he was ready to face all of it. He took a sip on his glass of water, avoiding Nobara's gaze. The weather was turning cold but he was feeling hot all of a sudden. He sipped more water before changing the topic again.

"Then, come on my exhibit."

Nobara looked excited when he mentioned it. "You don't even need to invite me," she proudly said.

"I know."

"What's wrong, Natsume?" she asked. The question was left hanging in her mind for a moment now and she just wanted to know what was wrong since Natsume seemed uninterested to whatever she was saying.

Nobara would understand if he would say the real reason. He did not want to tell her that it was nothing because that would be lying. There was too much lies he did and he did not want to add another one tonight. If Nobara was understanding enough, she would understand the reason why he was going to tell about this.

"It's just that before coming here, Mikan and I had a fight."

The girl frowned, looking down. "Is it about me?" she asked.

"No."

Nobara looked up now. "Is it a terrible fight?"

"We didn't fight exactly since I brushed her off," he stated.

"Is she being persistent again?"

Natsume felt uncomfortable talking about the fight he had with Mikan all of a sudden. Nobara just kept on directing it to her like she was the reason for wrong attitude to Mikan. "She just came at the wrong time," he answered generally, "But it has nothing to do with you."

She nodded but did not look convinced. "Why are we talking about her?"

"I didn't mean to."

"I understand but this is our date so I think it is best to just talk about ourselves and not other people," she requested nicely and Natsume just nodded in agreement.

After all, it was rude to talk about a person who was not present.

* * *

><p>The lights were all off and the only thing illuminating the living room was the television. Yuka came down to get some water when she noticed that her daughter was still awake at this time of hour. She heard sounds of chips being eaten by the teeth. Three hours had passed when Mikan came home and straight to her room. With that, Yuka thought that she already went to sleep out of frustration from the meeting with her father and seeing her daughter awake now made Yuka think of what really happened. She was waiting for Izumi to call but no one ringed her so her suspicion that the dinner did not go so great increased.<p>

For a while, Yuka ignored her thirst and went to her daughter. Mikan looked up to her, offering her the chips she was eating but shook her head on it. Yuka sat beside her, starting and asking herself on what question should be asked first.

"How do you find Izumi?"

"He is trying to be nice," Mikan answered with no emotion, "I did my best to listen to him and he listened to me very well in return. He explained everything to me, Mom. I wish you were there so you could hear it also."

"I've already heard it," Yuka admitted.

"Do you believe him?"

"Izumi is not a liar, Mikan."

Mikan tried believing her mother for the sake of believing in something. Her mother remained her faith on Izumi even though there were so many reasons to lose it. Mikan reminisced the dinner she just had with Izumi and she was convinced that Izumi was trying to be as honest as possible. She gave Yuka a proud smile and said, "It is still surreal to me that I finally met him. After years of making myself believe that I don't need him, I think I may find his company not quite bad. There is just one thing I find so mysterious."

"What is it?"

"What is so scary about love?" Mikan asked straightly.

Yuka did not expect Mikan's question to be like that although she knew very well the answer because she loved once and gave everything but it was never enough. Yuka placed the stray hair of Mikan behind her ear. "Because when you fall hard, it's hard to get up." Based on her experience and to everyone's experience, that was the reality.

Mikan shook her head in disagreement. "Everyone gets hurt so that is not an excuse."

"Mikan, people had reasons and you should respect them for it."

Yuka had mentioned to her about this respect thing many times but she never really did pay attention to it because for her, she was just doing her thing. Mikan already got the message. As a girl who had been hurting for years, love was something confusing but you should never give up on it because it was worth it. Slowly, she was losing that belief because she had not experienced something worthy from what she was doing. It was sad to know that there was no progress when her relationship with Natsume would be talked about. The effort was all on hers and she knew it.

She just saw her father today for the very first time and it already made a strong impact on her to believe that true love never lasts. Mikan knew that Izumi still loved Yuka. From the very start when they felt the mutual love, it stayed there. She giggled realizing that it looked like her mom was luckier in love than her because for Yuka at least, Izumi still loved her.

"He said that he wanted to spend the summer vacation with me in his home," Mikan said with a smile.

Yuka was surprised by what she just knew. It was all going fast and she hoped that Izumi knew what he was doing. "What did you say?" she asked.

"I told him I could not give the answer now but once I have it, I'll tell him. What do you think? Is the idea good?"

"I don't find anything bad about it," Yuka answered.

"But, I do." Mikan said it very honestly. There was something odd about it but it was not that bad. Mikan had so many reasons why she should not go but a part of her wanted to accept the offer. She added, "Because I am still not comfortable with him. I'm just trying to suppress my anger towards him because you asked me to give him a chance."

"But, don't you find him worth it?"

Mikan fell silent with the question. "I am still on the process in deciding what to answer on that," she answered after a while.

"Then, I hope you'll find the right answer."

Mikan nodded at her mom's wish. "You know what I realized the most today, Mom?"

"What?" Yuka asked curiously.

"I should make my own decisions from now on. Because not all the time someone will be there to tell me what the more important thing to do is."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Status: Addicted to the song called Payphone<strong>

**Also, my second summer vacation of the year has commenced! **

**What can you say about this chapter? Tell me about any grammar mistakes! :)**


	15. Where Water and Sand Meet

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Fifteen**

_**Where Water and Sand Meet **_

"_I gave you my love to borrow but just gave it away."_

"All buses are in! The faculty members are ready to welcome their students. The program will start in exactly fifteen minutes."

Misaki told his co-organizers once he received the report that all five buses they were expecting had arrived. The two students assigned for this Organization Get-together slash Team Building had been doing their responsibility excellently, giving the teacher real-time updates. Misaki had no problems with Yuu and Hotaru so far since these two were good at what they do. He was glad that they did not divide the tasks and instead, they shared them and with that they were able to be hands-on in every aspect like the venue, the guests, food, accommodations, program, and financial needs. It was a good team and Misaki was pretty proud of it since he got the right to choose the two.

Yuu made a signal to Hotaru before turning onto Misaki-sensei to state the current status of the situation. "Okay, Misaki-sensei. The venue is all set and so far, no problems."

Misaki nodded, rubbing his palms together. "Great. Let's do this."

"Let's!" Yuu tried to sound cheerful.

Misaki-sensei just ignored his enthusiasm which was humiliating on his part. Yuu lowered his head, looking depressed. Just when he was feeling good, he was ignored. The cheerful attitude did not really suit him that much. He would just stay on who he really were.

"What you did was embarrassing," Hotaru commented, who was suddenly beside Yuu.

Yuu lowered his head again. "I'll never do that again. Ever."

"Come on. You'll get over it. We have lots of things to do in our list."

Yuu sighed. "Yeah, let's." This time, with not much brightness.

* * *

><p>The moment their bus entered the venue, Mikan started admiring the place. She had always dreamt of joining this stuff that committees do every year and now she was a part of it. From her seat, she could already see Hotaru and Yuu walking together and looked like they were discussing something. Mikan heard that the venue was offered by one of the board members of Alice Academy so she had a guess that they would have the whole area privately but that did not seem to be the case as to the visible fact that there were a lot of people in the island that certainly did not come from the school.<p>

The bus parked beside a palm tree that was just starting to grow. The president of PubCom announced to everyone to be on their best behavior and they could get off the bus. Koko stood up from his seat and not long while, Mikan followed him. The first thing that touched her feet was the white and refined sand of the beach. She played with it for a while until Koko grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the program location. The chairs were arranged according to committee. Mikan could already see that the members of the Art Committee, Sports Committee, Academic Committee, Theater Guild and Writers Nook were all in. Music was blasting all over the open area and she praised Hotaru inwardly for doing so. For Mikan, the arrangement was according to rank of what club did best throughout the years.

"So, is this what it always like?" she asked Koko as they took their seats. Mikan chose the seat at the back.

Koko looked around and asked, "Like what?"

"The preparation is so grand."

Koko gave her a smile. "I don't know since this is the first time the school made it so grand."

Mikan nodded in embarrassment and said, "Right."

Organization Ball was an event Mikan always thought of as fun and lively but not like this. Maybe it was because of the changes but maybe not. The quiet atmosphere indicated that there was a rivalry between clubs which was just sad and stupid. Every club was aiming to be number one to get the largest budget and this trip was the best time to flaunt their achievements and developments. Shaking her head, Mikan smirked at her thoughts. If this dry atmosphere will continue, she best be on her way to enjoy her stay here in her own way. There was no way she would make herself sad at this trip. She deserved more than that. She deserved to be happy. She deserved to be noticed and be paid attention to. She did not deserve to be yelled at. This was the point when she realized that she still could not move on from how Natsume brushed her off last time.

Mikan stretched her extremities, feeling sleepy and tired from the long trip. "Have you seen Natsume?" she asked again after her earlier conversation with Koko died. She was trying not to remember him that much but she was aching to know.

"Nope."

"I tried sneaking on their bus but their president was so nasty about it," Mikan said.

Koko found what Mikan just said weird. He was looking at her as if waiting for her to confirm what she just said she'd done but nothing came. He found it weird because he did not think that Mikan would go to that extent just to be with her best friend. Feeling a little off, Koko just shrugged his shoulders, saying, "Well, Art students are so full of themselves."

Mikan smiled and pointed an accusing finger at Koko. "That is so judgmental of you."

"I was just joking!" Koko said defensively, closing his eyes.

Mikan just laughed at his reaction making Koko realized how stupid his reaction was. When the brunette stopped from laughing, she relaxed herself on her seat. "I was joking also," she said with faint giggles.

"About you saying I'm judgmental or about the bus?"

"Both," she answered frankly, "I'm a little envious because Anna, Nonoko, and Ruka get to be in the same club and the same bus."

"What? You hate being with me?" Koko asked, acting offended.

Mikan stared at the stage that was built up for this event, shaking her head with a smile. "Not at all, Koko. You don't know how happy I am to join PubCom. Ever since I joined a club, I felt more involve in school events which is a very good thing."

"I'm happy you joined, too."

"Will you dance with me at the ball?" Mikan asked out of the blue.

"Actually, you don't need to ask that since I am planning to ask you to dance with me the very first time I heard about the ball."

Mikan thought that it was really sweet of him to think like that. Koko was nothing but kind to her and she should repay him sometime in any way. She felt that Koko was doing her a lot of favors more than what he should. Mikan was aware to the fact that she was confessing a lot to Koko, too. Because he was easy to talk with and since they just became friends, it was easy for him to say anything. Koko was always happy, helpful, and naïve but at the same time knowing. She was lucky to be friends with him and she would be thankful for it forever.

"Thank you, Koko. I just hope Natsume will dance me, too."

"Of course, he will. You are his best friend."

That brought a thought in her head. "If we aren't friends, do you think he will dance with me?"

Koko cursed himself silently for just saying that to her face. He just realized that it was the wrong thing to say. He needed to think of a quick recovery for what he said to be forgotten easily. Koko could not believe his mouth for being insensitive. If it did not affect Mikan, she would not ask such thing.

"Mikan, are you aware that you are a sunshine?" he asked with a wide smile.

Mikan pointed at herself, confused. "Am I?"

"Yes! You smile like everything is alright. Your words, they are so uplifting… inspiring. There is something about you that makes everything alright."

Mikan simply chuckle at his explanation. "I don't radiate happiness, Koko."

"Yes, you do!" he insisted.

"No, I'm not. I can't do that thing you are saying especially if I don't feel so fine about myself."

"I doubt," Koko argued.

Mikan was about to argue with him strongly. "Stop, Koko. I don't always smile, or laugh, or make people happy. You see, everyone can do that. If we smile, we can make someone believe that this world is beautiful and a happy place to be. Or even sometimes, our presence can mean so much to a person that we don't need to smile just to let them know that we are always there for them. Maybe you are talking about yourself since you are the one who can radiate happiness to me. You make me smile and forget my problems even for a little bit. That's your gift, keep it."

Koko could not say anything after that and just kept on staring at her until the song playing was changed into something acoustic. He was familiar with the song, actually, very familiar since it became one of his favorites. "Oh, I love the song." Koko could not help commenting.

"I love the artist, too. They are one of my favorite bands."

"Me too! The lyrics are so good."

"I wouldn't mind spending it by your side," Mikan recited the lyrics, "I wish someone would say it to, mean it like it's the only truth in the world and he would look at me like I am the person he's been looking for all of his life."

Koko sensed the seriousness and privacy of the conversation but Mikan was letting him hear it. He could tell now, with Mikan's mood and words, that she and Natsume was up to the silent treatment again. Koko wanted to ask her if cold war really happens that often between best friends? He knew that Mikan's love had a very big part on the answer why and he could not help but think that maybe Mikan's love was beginning to be wrong. Koko shook his head for thinking like that. It was a very unsupportive act.

"Sorry. Did I get a little too dramatic?" he heard Mikan asked.

"No. That is so beautiful. I wish to find the same kind of girl."

That would be easy, Mikan wanted to tell him. He was sweet, kind, loving, and very caring. With those qualities, no one could not like Koko. At least Koko was lovable, while Mikan herself could not think of any quality of hers that was lovable. She was an annoying person, a not-so-intelligent student, a secretive daughter, and a selfish friend. Mikan did not know why Koko kept on sticking on her when her own best friend seemed to be sick of her. The only good thing that happened to her was when she met up with Izumi. She could not believe that it would be such a nice first meeting.

Maybe, if worst things come, her father would be the first person to save her. Who knows?

"My father asked me to join him this summer vacation."

"Your father?" Koko asked in disbelief and even added, "You have one?"

Mikan did not know if she was to hurt by that statement or laugh. So, she really was the girl with no father. It used to be like that but not anymore, not now. "Yeah, I just met up with him. Never seen him until that day."

"What's your decision then?" Koko asked which surprised Mikan because she expected him to ask about her father more.

"What?" she blurted out irrationally.

"Will you join your father?" Koko cleared his question.

"I'm thinking that it would be a nice idea," Mikan answered, looking pretty sure of herself.

Koko dropped his head backwards, smiling as he closed his eyes but that was only for a short while because the moment he started speaking, he looked at Mikan again. "Two months of summer vacation. I hope you'll have the best time of your life. The ways fathers treat their child are very different from mothers. They appear so cold, authoritative, and sometimes scary but they are cool because they show their love in a very cool way."

"Like what?" Mikan asked, interested.

Koko pouted his lips, thinking of something to say. "Like… for example, they shout at you because of what you did wrong or you hurt yourself but in the end, they'll hug you and ease your pain. They put us in their shoulders when we become tired from all the walking, they earn for us, they work hard so we can buy anything we want. My father is barely at home but he always makes an effort to express his love to us. And for that, I am thankful."

"Sounds like you have a very nice father," Mikan stated, nodding. All of a sudden, she was jealous what Koko had.

Koko smiled widely as if talking about his father was a very nice subject to touch. "You should meet him some time," he suggested with enthusiasm.

"That would be lovely," Mikan said with a smile, thinking on how close she was getting with Koko, "I think I'm too late to be carried over the shoulders but I'm sure my father will think of something so we can have our father-daughter bonding moments."

"Make it count, Mikan."

She would. Koko's words lifted her spirits.

"You are lucky you have a good family. Natsume and I always had problems with our daddies."

"It's good that he has you," Koko pointed out.

Mikan merely shrugged off the compliment. "Nah. I don't do much."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm more of an adviser rather than a best friend. I don't have something unique to offer him so he can keep me forever. Sooner or later, he will find someone who can do those things I do, then he'll forget about me. If that will really happen one day, I won't be surprised but I'll seek for answers." Mikan said it in a way like she was very sure it will happen.

"Don't talk like that."

"It is true, though."

"I think you are amazing," Koko said, cupping his mouth when he realized what just came out of it.

Mikan would find it weird but with the current situation, she was just happy to hear it. "Thanks," she said.

After a few minutes, the actual program had started. The opening speech was given by Misaki-sensei wherein he stated all the troubles he was feeling and overcoming those with the help of everybody. It was a pretty nice speech because of the fact that it was extemporaneous so everything Misaki said was coming from his very emotion. Some intermission numbers were given by the members of the Dance Committee and Alice Academy's famous chorale group. The numbers were cheered by the students because, indeed, the committee members performed great as a group and individually. Add to that the fact that they were famous that they garnered applauses from the small crowd. It was always a school thing that clubs who had really put the school to victory were the ones who excel when it comes to popularity.

Popularity was what lacking from the Publicity Committee, clubs under the Academic Committee like Biology and Chemistry, and the Community Service club which had good intentions but no one noticed. It was not like they wanted popularity but that was just a mere fact in Alice Academy and popularity might come handy some time. This was why this Organization Meet was very important to committees with low budget because it could be any club's game and any club's time to shine.

No one from the board members was present. It was for the reason that they only attend the last night which was the Org Party. The board members themselves had daughters or sons enrolled in Alice Academy and more often than not, their children belonged to those high-budgeted committees. That was one issue of the school. Sons and daughters of the owners got to have special treatment. Most of the officials of the Students Council were children of the persons responsible on why Alice Academy became such a prestigious school. But, none from these heirs and heiresses got a special treatment from the grading system of the academy. What they got is what they got.

The program was ended by a speech rendered by the Student Council President, Hijiri Goshima. He wished for everyone to have a good time and for the committees to bond even more. He informed everyone that today was a free day and tomorrow was when everything would start. With this, the students cheered since their exhaustion would be relieved and they had their time on their hands.

Koko and Mikan got their key cards and went straightly to the elevator so that they could arrange their things on their respective rooms. Mikan looked left and right to find her room while Koko just followed her since their room seemed to be just like next to each other.

"This is my room," Mikan said the moment she read the room number.

"Mine's here," said Koko whose room appeared to be across Mikan's.

"Do you have a roommate?"

Koko chuckled at the question. "I don't. Mikan, nobody does because Alice Academy made sure we all get solo rooms."

"Oh, I see." Mikan said, thinking how much money would be saved if the school just made everyone have their rooms shared.

She was about to enter her room when Natsume appeared from the hallway. He did not even notice her because he immediately went to the opposite direction. The first thought that came into her mind was to call after him but when she realized that she was still feeling hurt about last time, Mikan just dropped the idea.

"Are you okay?" Koko asked, staring at her.

"Natsume," she mumbled.

Koko looked at the direction she was looking and saw that Natsume was indeed there. To Koko, for them to be all the same floor was a great opportunity for teasing. "Won't you call after him?" Koko asked when he noticed that Mikan was just standing there.

"I think he prefers for me not to," she said with sad eyes and a sad smile.

"Don't be so sad. We'll see him at dinner."

Mikan nodded and made her entrance to her room before saying, "See you at dinner, Koko!"

* * *

><p>"Hi, guys!" Mikan greeted as cheerful as she could be. After a short second, Koko appeared behind her, waving like a child.<p>

"Just right in time," Hotaru said with a sigh.

"We thought you two would never come," Anna interjected.

Mikan giggled at the statements given by her friends because they seemed to forget that she adored food. "That's impossible, Anna. You know that dinner is my—" her statement was cut off not by an interruption but by someone's presence and she just let out a soft, "Hi."

Nobara was amazed on how Mikan welcomed her. Her presence really surprised the brunette. She knew it from the beginning that Mikan Sakura had a reaction to everything but she did not expect Mikan to give her that. "I hope I'm not troubling any of you by simply joining at dinner," she said although she said it the moment she entered the dining area earlier.

"What? You troubled me." Natsume complained playfully beside her.

"Oh, shoo, Natsume." Nobara glared at him teasingly before turning to the brunette, "Hello, Mikan. Thank you for the other day."

Mikan remembered that day clearly. "Uh, sure, anytime."

"Let's eat, guys." Nonoko offered and started the dinner by passing on the rice.

Ruka expected the dinner to be an awkward one since a new person suddenly came to join them but that did not happen at all. They were talking, chatting, laughing, and having fun except one. Mikan was silent since the actual dinner started and it gave Ruka worries because he remembered the times when Natsume was saying how Mikan loved to eat. But, the Mikan he was seeing now was lifeless and not paying attention to anything. Even her way of eating her food was bothering for Ruka. His initial thought was she was jealous but looking deeply at Mikan, she was just feeling sad the moment she saw Natsume.

_Not this again_, Ruka thought.

Natsume made sure that he was keeping eyes on Mikan. He was watching her all the time and how silent she was throughout dinner. Honestly, he was bothered but he was with Nobara and he did not want her to notice that he was paying attention to his best friend. Now, that sounded so wrong. They were best friends for many reasons so Nobara wouldn't mind, right? But, of course, that was not the case and it never will. Natsume studied the faces of the people present in the table and what caught his attention was Ruka's observant look. Natsume knew that Ruka was thinking and he could not wait to agree with him.

"You should try out some cheese next time," Natsume heard Nobara said.

"He's allergic to it," Mikan said which made everyone turn to her since those were the first words she said ever since dinner started.

Nobara just smiled at the warning Mikan gave her since she knew very well that Natsume could not take cheese. "I know but sometimes, you should face your fears or the thing that hinders you from doing something because in there, learning is found."

Mikan snarled at her. "Yeah, but you'll die from suffocation before you learn."

"It could be not that bad," Nobara reasoned out, giggling.

Mikan simply rolled her eyes and smiled. "Trust me. It is."

"Okay."

After that short argument, they all resumed to eating and acted like nothing happened. Although the silence was awkward, it did not keep Nobara from talking to Natsume which was not approved by Mikan. Now, she was jealous.

"Koko, will you pass the rice?" Mikan requested.

"Oh, okay. Here you go."

Anna was about to finish her food when she thought of a good topic to talk about, that everyone can relate to. "They said that committees will exchange works for a day. Aren't you guys excited about it?"

"Sure you are," Hotaru commented.

"I am excited," Yuu interjected.

"Do you want more shrimp?" Mikan asked Natsume.

"I'm fine."

"Maybe some juice?" Nobara asked.

Natsume simply rolled his eyes on what was going on, feeling irritated of how girls act at times like this. "Okay, fine." He accepted the juice because he needed a drink and not because it was Nobara who gave it.

Mikan simply smirked on what she was seeing.

* * *

><p>When dinner was finished, the group went out to the shore to have some bonfire. They had the whole day free so they might as well do everything they could think of. They girls surrounded the fire while the boys made their own because girl talk was making them sick already but they could hear audibly what they were talking about. The all-out tonight was Nobara with her never-ending stories about art, Math, school, and boys. Surprisingly, Nobara was getting along with the girls even with Mikan. They were listening to her and she was listening to them. Besides all of that, Nobara had a good sense of humor that was not hard to notice. She had comments on everything which sometimes sounded innocently stupid or full of sense.<p>

They were thinking that she was jealous but she was not. Mikan just reacted about the cheese thing because she was very strict when it comes to Natsume's allergy since she had seen several times what it does to him and it was not something to joke about in a way like that. Now, Mikan was fine with Nobara because the girl was showing nothing but kindness. The girl that Natsume liked was just in front of her, being amazing, and Mikan could not do anything but be impressed by her also. Natsume picked the right girl and it was sad to say that she was sinking on her seat as Nobara continued to amaze everyone by her voicing out her own opinion and ideas.

Mikan only wanted to be happier than she ever was but the road to happiness was hard as expected. But, if Natsume would be happy with Nobara, then she just have to let it.

"That is so romantic, Nobara! You have such nice ideas about how you would want someone to finally ask you to be his girlfriend." Nonoko gleefully exclaimed in front of everyone. It was clear that she was amazed by Nobara's creative mind ever since the talk about love started.

Nobara gave her a thankful smile, nodding at the compliment. "It's going to be once in a lifetime so I want it to be memorable as much as possible. But, a sudden blurting-out-of-feeling would be fine with me also."

"I am a fan of those kinds of confession," Anna said dreamily.

Nobara giggled at how Anna and Nonoko seemed so enthusiastic with the topic before turning to Mikan. "How about you, Mikan?" she asked.

Mikan's intertwined hands that were supporting her knees loosen up. Her actions were indicating she was caught off guard by the question and the person who asked it. Everyone knew that Nobara knows about Mikan and Natsume, well, who don't? That was why the question came out like a challenge for the brunette.

"Me? Well, maybe, the boy can sing for me."

"It's cliché," Anna said.

Nobara immediately argued. "No, it is totally romantic. Go on."

Mikan nodded and went on, feeling comfortable that she was about to tell this to Nobara, of all people. "Then he'll walk towards me, looking at my eyes straightly. And as the background song is playing, he is telling me how much he loves me. I want to be taken by surprise, totally unguarded. I want to be speechless and shock so that my instinct will work and would just reply the things hidden from the bottom of my heart. After that, we will share an innocent kiss and we will be happy forever. Just like that, so easy, so good to be true."

"I hope it will come," Nobara said, smiling.

Mikan did not know if Nobara was being honest or a hypocrite but she still said, "Thanks."

The conversation went on pretty well. Even Hotaru opened up to some things which surprised everyone. Nobara was doing a good job being friends with Natsume's friends and she could do it naturally. She had a charm but she did not know it. Mikan found her easy to be with. Hotaru said that she was okay. Anna could write a long essay on the things she liked about Nobara and it just happened that they both like baking. Nonoko was happy to know her. No wonder Natsume came to like her.

Meanwhile, on the part of the boys, Yuu was the newest addition.

"So, Yuu, you are the person responsible for all of these?" Koko asked, referring to the Organization outing.

Yuu nodded humbly and said, "Yeah but with Hotaru, of course. I cannot do this alone. Ever."

"Just congratulate him Koko for a job well done," Ruka said.

Koko did what Ruka said. "Congratulations, man."

"Thanks," Yuu said, adjusting his glasses.

"Your girl seems to be enjoying," Ruka commented, stretching his neck to see what was the girls doing.

Natsume simply didn't respond.

* * *

><p>Mikan buried her feet on the white sand. She was playing with it since she came in because for her the sand rejuvenates her body. Needless to say, she loved it. Also the wind, which had been cold and strong ever since the sun had set. Many students were still outside, enjoying the freedom and the vacation time. She could hear the noise, laughter, and voices even when she was in the isolated part of the beach. Mikan was sitting under a rock that could be anyone's shade from sunlight at mornings. She was far from the noise but no one could miss her as she was still visible from the crowd. The waves were calm compared to this morning when it was strong but beautiful. The motion of the water amazed Mikan more than ever.<p>

Her friends already went to their own rooms and maybe even Nobara but she chose to stay a little longer because she wanted to enjoy the place all by herself and she was not still sleepy as of the moment. She heard the boys planned to stay on one room to have their 'Boys Night' but she had yet to confirm it because everyone was expected to wake up early tomorrow. They were all enjoying. And she just enjoyed this outing when she was looking forward to it. She tried to enjoy but fate was not helping her. Maybe fate didn't like her so much from the very beginning. Maybe she could cry about it later.

She buried her head on her knees, her right hand was on the sand playing with it. Footsteps could only be seen in the sand, it was never heard. But, she felt a presence behind her. Maybe it was a pervert that would try to hit on her so her initial plan was to kick his ass but the person behind her was just staring at her back so she knew it was no pervert. It was Natsume.

"Don't explain," she started.

"It's pretty impossible for me to make you feel okay right now since I'm the reason why you are sulking like that."

She stood up and dusted off her shorts and legs from sand. "No, really, you don't."

She did not deserve an explanation because she was just the best friend. It was all her fault to barge in like that and to start talking about a personal matter in a very wrong time. Mikan could not look straightly to his beautiful eyes because it was too hard to look at him now. There had been changes. He was not the friend that she could talk to anytime. He had commitments with other people. He was growing up, that best friend of hers.

"Mikan, it's a date and you know my situation."

She nodded, smiling at Natsume's repetitiveness. "I know. I know. So, don't explain."

Mikan stood up and turned around so Natsume won't be able to see the tears. She was sick and tired of this always happening. It was becoming a habit of their friendship. If she could just stop it. If he could just change it. If fate could only be changed. It had been said that the world had deeper problems than love but problems related to feelings were also hard to manage because it could affect everything.

"Then why the hell are you crying?"

"Because I am having mix emotions right now."

Natsume sighed, not knowing what to say anymore. "You are excited for this day to come and yet you are stressing yourself out because of me. Mikan, the world does not revolve around me. You need to grow up and be happy."

"What? Am I immature now? God, Natsume."

"Put myself in your shoes. What if I am the one who is helplessly in love with you but you like somebody else? What would you do? Will you show me signs to continue, these false hopes, these lies?"

Natsume was losing it and Mikan was astonished. "It is not because of that," she managed to say.

"Then why?"

She shook her head, stepping back. "We don't have to talk about it, really. I'll get over this. It's a date, I understand."

Again with this. Natsume really hated it when she becomes afraid and backs down or walks out. If he would hurt her more tonight, well, he was just being honest.

"Why do sometimes I feel like this friendship is beginning to be an obligation? If I am unable to talk to you, you will go bring down yourself. If I did something that you don't like, you will avoid me. It's not my responsibility to give you everything. Every day, Mikan, every day, you are acting more and more like the girl who has a big crush on me rather than being the girl who is my best friend. You have demands that make you selfish. This is tiring."

Natsume was angry and releasing all the stress he was feeling. What he was saying was what he felt. He actually didn't care, for a second, on what Mikan might feel. He just wanted to say all of it because she needed to know.

"I don't want to fight with you days before your birthday and exhibit." Mikan meant it. She was genuine when she said that he didn't have to explain.

He wanted them to fight so they could tell whatever they want without holding back. "Screw it. It's not that important anyway."

Mikan took a deep breath, hurt by what she heard. "Okay, that was a little harsh."

Natsume knew what hit on Mikan but he did not plan to stop until he says it all. "Don't you pity yourself a little? Look at you. Crying over spilt milk. I am a hopeless case, Mikan. Stop competing with Nobara because I am not some prize and whatever you do, nothing will change because what we see in a person is not only based on what we see outside, what's inside and what we see with them also matter."

He was right. She was wrong.

This was the first time Natsume said so much in their relationship. It was the first time Mikan caught a glimpse of what he was really feeling about her. Natsume did not hold back this time, or lie, or took cautions so that he won't hurt her more.

"I just promised to myself that I'll fight for you," Mikan said as if she was just realizing this now.

"What's to fight for? This is not a battle."

"Don't you feel a little happy that I am eager to get you?" she asked desperately in the hope that she would hear what she wanted.

"No. That is ridiculous because you are just hurting yourself." But we did not get what we always wanted. "Stop fooling yourself," Natsume added.

Mikan just nodded. "Thank you for rubbing it on me."

"I don't mean to be rude but you are forcing me to."

"Just leave me alone for now."

"We can't act like this forever," Natsume said.

"Exactly," Mikan agreed with a sad smile, "I told you I understand, Natsume. Can't you believe me? I'm repeating it but you kept on mentioning it to me like it was my entire goddamn fault. Yes, I'm fighting for you but that doesn't mean that I'll stop you from being happy. For the first time, I am trying not to be selfish but what did you do? You shut me just like that. You think that this friendship is an obligation? Huh? Why are you saying this just now? Why are you saying it in a way that it will hurt me and torn me to pieces?"

"Because you are starting to be selfish."

She pushed him making him fall back a little but got his composure fast. "I know that! You think I don't know that? Do you know how hard it is for me to teach myself a lesson?" Mikan struggled to catch her breath because her crying was absorbing all her air, "I'm really trying, you know. To forget you. So, you can finally be happy." She was gripping his shirt already with eyes close that were full of tears.

Mikan did not really care about her happiness now.

"No."

She looked up with an expression waiting for Natsume to confirm if he really argued with what she said. "No?" she repeated in a mocking tone.

"What I want is for you to be happy," he cleared but it was never clear to Mikan.

"Really, Natsume?" Mikan asked for confirmation but deep inside she knew that there was nothing to confirm, "Do you really know what you are saying?"

"You think?" He sounded like he was sure of it but at the same he was not. Natsume found it funny that he and Mikan wanted the same thing for each other and that would be happiness.

She would play along. Since Natsume was not making any sense to her right now, she could not wait to finish this conversation. "If you do, then you already know the answer. But, wait, it doesn't work that way, right? So, in the end, I will still not be the happy one between the two of us so just let me do this. Hey, even after all, I am still your best friend."

Natsume did not say anything again. He just stood there looking at her, maybe asking inside his head if she was being real. In the end, friendship prevailed. Between the two of them, Mikan was more vocal on her goal to make him happy. It was hard for Natsume's part. Since Mikan thought that happiness meant him loving her, it would take some serious talks and happening to make her realize that he could not make her happy. Yes, he could, but he was not entirely the happiness she wanted. There was more to life than romance. And they were young, meaning they could have all the time in the world to experience love. Rushing could only result to half-baked results.

"Goodnight, Natsume." Mikan said to him and just like that she ran away.

Natsume could only think, what was happening to their friendship?

On the other hand, Mikan looked like running for her life. It was harder to run in the sand than on a cemented road but she had done it with ease. She ran straight to the lobby of the hotel and pushed the elevator button. When the elevator opened, it revealed Koko. Mikan was in tears and Koko had no idea what happened.

"Mikan?" he asked, stepping off the elevator while Mikan just watched it close.

The brunette fixed her hair and wiped her tears which became a hard task because they won't seem to stop. She then tried to smile as wide as she can and to look as cheerful as she could be. "Look, I'm smiling now. Do I still radiate happiness? I don't, okay? You cannot say that because I can't even remember the last time I felt complete happiness."

Koko did not understand why Mikan was doing this. All he knew was that she was in a lot of pain.

"Mikan, it's okay."

"It's not!" she yelled at him, "It will never be."

* * *

><p>The next morning Koko was waiting for her to come. He decided that he would help her out if she needed any help and Koko was sure that Mikan needed him this time. The only reason why Mikan had been crying was Natsume. No doubt about that. He was so stupid last night that he didn't think of it immediately. He went down last night to get something to eat but what welcomed him was a crying Mikan. The hungriness he was feeling vanished in a split second. That was last night and today was a new day.<p>

"Sorry, I'm late." Koko heard Mikan's voice. All eyes were on her.

"We just started so don't worry about it," Vice-president Shizune Yamanouchi said dismissively.

"Koko proposed what we are going to do for the foolish competition," their committee president, Hajime Yakumo, started, "And I liked his idea. Mikan will play a big part on this."

"Me?" Mikan asked, pointing at herself.

The president nodded. "Koko will explain to you everything but he will leave out some parts so that when it happens, your reaction will come out as natural. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure."

Everyone stood up at the command of the president while saying, "After we teach some dance steps with the kids around the resort, we will start preparing for the scenario."

"We exchanged with the Dance Committee?" Mikan asked Koko.

"We did. Cool, isn't it?" Koko answered with an excited smile.

Mikan nodded. "It is," she said but still wondering that she just sat and now they were all standing up. To think that the president said they just started.

"We should start now," the vice president announced.

Everyone lined up for the practice. There was this isolated part of the resort wherein some of the workers live. Since their livelihood was dependent on the sea, they chose to live near it. With that, they raised their own family on this side of the beach. The children of the workers were the ones the Publicity Committee will be entertaining in a little while.

"How can you manage to be so happy all the time?" Mikan asked in the middle of the practice. She was just aching to ask this to Koko.

"Happiness is something we control. If we want to be happy, we can be."

"Thank you for answering that Koko."

"Anything for you."

"What?" Mikan asked.

Koko simply shook his head. "I said nothing."

"Oh."

"I almost forgot to tell you that you'll be announcing our committee's achievements this year. Every club does it, every year. It is a tradition."

Why did it have to be her? There were lots of better choices than her. It was not a hard task but she was not in the right mood to do something like that. Mikan glanced at Koko who was looking at her expectantly. She nodded, thinking that she was just going to talk and it was no big deal. And, she should be honored for the president to give her such responsibility, so her decision was final despite of all the debates that ran through her head.

"Talking in front of so many people? Well, I can do that."

"Relax," Koko teased.

"I will," she said, nodding, "Don't worry about me."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for all the reviews and support you give me every chapter despite of the many reasons for you to let go of this story. I'm just happy. <strong>

**The next chapter might be uploaded soon enough since I am near to finishing it and for the reason that I am still on vacation, I have all the time in the world to type ideas and update. As for this chapter, well, what can you say? Koko is having a big part and he will have much bigger part on the next chapter and on the future. I should have updated a long time ago but I went out of town to get some inspiration. Nah, just kidding about the inspiration part but the trip helped me describe some of the things you have read on this chapter and on the next chapter. **

**By the way, who reads Goong(manhwa) here? If you are familiar with the drama, then you should try and read it. I am plugging, yah know? Just kidding. **

**Oh, my addiction changed now. Listening to Somebody I Used To Know and Wide Awake. **

**Review? **


	16. Real and Sweet

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Sixteen**

_**Real and Sweet**_

"_Something real. Something sweet. Something real sweet."_

Nonoko put the last piece of pin into Mikan's hair. She was assigned to do the hair and make-up for Anna and Mikan. Hotaru said that she hated make-up and can manage by herself so Nonoko let it that way. Everyone was looking different this evening. Apart from the normal look every day, dresses and suits were worn by boys and girls. Tonight was a special night. Nonoko was satisfied at what she had done on Mikan because her hair and make-up fitted her dress perfectly. Not too heavy but not too light, just perfect for the night. But, something was missing.

"You look beautiful, Mikan." Nonoko complimented, feeling happy with the result of her efforts.

"Wear this," Hotaru said, pulling out a bracelet made of ribbon and silver.

Anna smiled on the accent the bracelet pulled when attached to Mikan's wrist. "It matches her dress. That's a nice choice, Hotaru."

"Thank you so much," Hotaru said.

"Everything is beautiful, Mikan. But, why don't you try to smile a bit so it would be perfect?" Nonoko said which earned nods from Anna and Hotaru.

Anna tapped Mikan on the shoulder, saying, "Cheer up, Mikan. You are waiting for this night, right?"

Her deflated energy had been very obvious to everyone. What was she doing? Tonight was her most awaited Org Ball; the exclusive dance she was fantasizing about for many years. Tonight was that night and she was not happy. There was no excitement, no energy, and no motivation to be happy because she had a feeling that every moment of it will just be a disaster. She was feeling heavy ever since she woke up this morning and she guessed it was because of her confrontation with Natsume. She slept well last night and the activity they'd done went well, in fact, they were all successful. Mikan should be more excited because there was going to happen tonight that could put their committee on the headline.

But, all those were meaningless for her now.

"I will. You guys go first and I will follow in a bit."

Anna and Nonoko made their way out while Hotaru stayed for a while.

"Enjoy this night. You've been waiting for this for so long."

"I'll try," Mikan said.

"It's not enough," Hotaru firmly stated.

Mikan smiled. As expected of Hotaru, when she wanted it, she would get it. "Okay. I promise to enjoy the night."

"Better," Hotaru said and also made her way to the door, "Don't forget your promise, Mikan."

* * *

><p>Balloons were all over the floor. The foods were soon to be gone. The drinks were almost out of supply but Hotaru was ready for times like this that was why drinks were provided soon enough. The faculty members were all having a good time, even Jinno who was known for his cold personality was dancing his heart out. The music was very loud and the students were very cooperative with regards to partying. The dance floor was always full and so was the corner where the foods were. People could barely hear each other. It was more of a party rather than a formal ball. Well, high school would be high school.<p>

If not for the announcement, Mikan would have been gone now but she had to stay until the end because of one last competition. Koko asked her for a dance earlier and after that nothing much happened. Anna and Nonoko were pulling her for a group dance and she joined but only for a couple of minutes. She didn't find getting wet by a bottle of water splashed while they were dancing funny. Normally, she would be the one insisting the splashing but she was just not in the mood. So, she went back to her seat with no one to talk to. Hotaru and Yuu were busy monitoring the ball and controlling unexpected situations. Koko was having fun on his own. The last person she expected to see was Natsume. No, he would never dance with her. Not after what happened.

"Care to dance?" a familiar voice asked her.

Mikan looked up. "Sure, Ruka."

Ruka led her in the middle of the dance floor. Group dances were temporarily over since the music changed into a slow, love song.

"Smile a little, Mikan."

Mikan lowered her head, shaking it a little. "Not you too. Everybody is telling me that same thing all night and I'm tired of hearing it."

"If you are, then smile." It was a friendly advice and honestly, Ruka wanted to say that to Natsume too who was scowling all night. "We are all getting worried about you because you've been down since this team building started."

"I'll be happy," Mikan assured quickly the moment the music died.

"_Calling on Mikan Sakura from the Publicity Committee for this year's Publicity Committee's achievements."_

Mikan released her hold on Ruka. "Have to go. Thank you for the dance."

Anytime now, anything could happen. Mikan walked slowly towards the stage. All eyes on her but nothing big about it. They were just waiting for her to grab the microphone and rant about their committee even though no one could care less. Not later on, the emcee gave her the microphone and she was standing in the middle of the stage. Spotlight's on her. Mikan could barely see the people but she could see the board of members that had their tables on the front. That was when she realized that the fate of the Publicity Committee was in her hands. She could take the stares and she could do it. And so, she commenced.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It's my first year to join the Organization Ball and so far the experience is good. This year is also the first time I joined a committee and with that I am proud to announce to you all the achievements of the Publicity Committee for this year!"

She started well. Now, she was about to start on month number one. She grabbed the microphone again and was about to open her mouth when the lights went out and a familiar voice echoed on the room.

Mikan hated the dark. It was a good thing that there was no blackout and she had an idea on what was happening. In time, a spotlight illuminated the stage, no, a certain person. He was talking and he was walking to her direction and he was Kokoro Yome.

"Exactly five months and one week since I first talked to you. It's not that long but it is long enough to know you as a person who radiates happiness. I know this is shocking for you because I've hidden my feelings well these past few months but I am ready to tell it to you about it now, Mikan. I have always admired you for being so honest and supportive but those are just your plus points because your whole being is what I really love."

"What is he doing?" Anna asked in panic.

Hotaru shrugged and answered, "Being stupid?"

Koko was playing the guitar as he walked towards her. She felt frozen on the spot, unable to move, speechless. Mikan was very familiar with the setting as if she was on her dream confession. She did not know that Koko could play an instrument. This was too good to be true. And it was too good.

"Your strong side is always exposed everyday and people came to like you for it, but they know little about your vulnerable side which made me realize that I am the man who should be there to hug you when everything goes wrong, when life and love seem to be so hard, when conflicts are too much for you to handle, and when you just need somebody. People see me as the joker-type, the one who is never serious. But, I am not goofing with you right now because this is what I really feel."

"Oh, no." Ruka mumbled, thinking if Koko was serious. He wanted to get on the stage and punch Koko right on the face for making him believe that he was supporting Natsume and Mikan, not Mikan and him. A certain friendship might end tonight.

On the other hand, Nonoko could not seem to handle what was happening. "Tell me this is just a dream," she said, breathless.

It's Koko. _Koko_ for Christ's sake. They had no idea that Kokoro 'Freaking' Yome had feelings for Mikan Sakura. What would the world say? What would Mikan say? What would Natsume do? Of all the people that could like Mikan, why did it have to be him? He was one of Natsume pals, the one who made possible of Mikan and Natsume's first date, and the very reason why Ruka was so into getting Natsume and Mikan together. All this time, he was just bluffing. Or he was able to develop feelings for Mikan because she was always hurting and he had an instinct that he did not want her to feel like that always. But, it was still impossible. Or not.

"It's not, so just shut up and watch," Hotaru said in a very authoritative tone. She was waiting on what could this event result.

Koko stopped strumming the guitar. He was right before Mikan who looked very surprised. Everything was going according to plan. Maybe they were all asking if this was real or not, but they have to find that out later. "I know that I am not the man you want to be standing in front of you right now but if you would just give me a chance, I'll show you that I can be worthy of your time. So, Mikan Sakura, will you let me?"

Mikan stared at Koko. He played one of her favorite songs, she heard him say the things she was longing to hear, he'd done her dream confession, and he was always there. Mikan looked down and smirked. She did not know that it was too fairytale-like. If she had known, she would have changed her dream confession a long time ago. Mikan made a mental note to laugh about this with Koko. The Koko who was confessing in front of all the prominent persons in Alice Academy. Koko, who was known for treating life as a joke. Koko, who just learned about being responsible and all. He was doing this all for one reason. If this was just good, then it might be true.

Ruka glanced at Natsume, wanting to see his reaction. Natsume was stoic as ever but when Ruka looked at his friend's fist, it was a sign that something bad might happen tonight. "Oh my God. I smell trouble."

"Natsume?" Nobara asked worriedly, "Are you feeling alright?"

"You… like me?" Mikan's voice echoed in the room.

"I do," Koko admitted, his face saying he was being sincere.

"Why?"

Koko could not think of any reason since there was nothing in particular. "I don't need a reason to like you because it is a feeling," he answered, "Because it is a feeling, it comes out suddenly. You know, like it was a dream that you could not afford to believe but it is real. It is really magical. It is felt." He explained with a different kind of smile. "You see, I just do, Mikan." His expression when he said that was angelic and vulnerable. It could melt any woman's heart.

Mikan nodded, appreciating Koko's efforts then ran to him and hugged him tightly. This made the crowd squeal, forgetting the fact that things don't work that way. Forgetting the fact that the person Mikan loved was in the middle of them. Alice Academy had found its newest couple. What happened was historic. The boy confessing in front of oh so many people and the girl running to his arms. It was like in the movies. It was something unbelievable. It was something that could only happen in fiction.

Suddenly, a microphone stand was placed in front of Mikan and Koko. Mikan released herself from the hug, wiping her tears, and grabbing Koko's hand. The two gave each other a signal before looking shortly at the members of the PubCom that were just on the side of the stage. The two stars of the night nodded. Mikan smiled and Koko remained in his happy expression.

With the count of three, Mikan and Koko simultaneously yelled on the microphone, making it audible in the whole room, "You got fooled!"

It was too good to be true. Really, because it was fake. It could only happen in fiction or maybe in rare times in life because it was not true. It was just for the competition. They all got fooled. Publicity Committee got them all believing that Koko liked Mikan. Without a doubt, they won the competition. The faculty and board members gave their applause for the good show and not too long, the students followed.

Mikan chuckled, grabbing the microphone, saying, "Thank you everyone! I hope you enjoyed the show."

"We got you!" Koko repeated before finally pulled by their committee president.

President Yakumo greeted the two. "That's so great. You've done it marvelously."

"I deserve a bonus for this," Koko rejoiced.

Mikan rolled her eyes. "We don't get bonuses, Koko."

"A treat would suffice," Koko joked.

Meanwhile, Anna and Nonoko finally could breathe regularly again. They were having a hard time absorbing the fact that Koko liked Mikan all this time but now they knew it was just all part of the plan, they were okay again. No one could top that act, not even the Academic Committee. It was believable and since Mikan was the one involved, she made it ten times more realistic. Besides, Koko's words seemed to be from the bottom of his heart and Mikan and Koko was getting closer since they became friends so the possibility just got higher.

Hotaru had an evil smile on her face. This was what she was talking about to Ruka. And, seeing Natsume Hyuuga's reaction was priceless. He was angry at himself. He did not know what to do. He could not do anything with Nobara beside him and with how he stood with his decision that he did not like Mikan. She wanted to congratulate Koko for putting a good show. Now, only a few more push until Natsume breaks. As expected, everything she predicted was happening.

Hotaru Imai was that good.

* * *

><p>Mikan opened the door of her room when Koko asked, "Won't you talk to him?"<p>

She glanced at the side and saw Natsume. "To Natsume?" she asked as if there was somebody else Koko was referring to. "No," she added.

"What happened between you two?"

"He said so many hurtful things. I verbalized my thoughts."

"And?"

Mikan smiled quickly. "I'll get through this."

Before she could finally get in, Koko grabbed her arm. "Mikan, I'm not your best friend. I am not the person you are most comfortable with. I also know that I cannot help you in a way I want to help you. There are so many things I want to do for you and to say to you. I will start with, I am worried for you. Remember when I told you that you radiate happiness?"

"Yes."

"And when I told you that happiness is something you choose?" Koko continued.

"Yes."

"Then, what's the matter?"

"Huh?"

Koko scratched his head because Mikan can't still get it. "Be happy. Live. Don't stress yourself out. You are too depressing to look at. What about me?"

"What about you?" Mikan asked.

Koko acted impatient, feeling like repeating himself over and over again. "What if I want to be happy right now because I'm feeling an extreme heart ache and all I want is to see you smile but you can't give that to me? You are my savior."

She laughed and not too long, smiled. "Stupid, Koko. You exaggerate."

"There's a smile!"

Mikan pinched his cheeks. "You are one worth smiling for," she said.

"And you are worth waiting for," Koko muttered.

Mikan laughed even more. "That's sweet. Should we go to sleep now?"

"Yeah," Koko agreed but when he saw that Natsume was looking at him, he said, "Uh, Mikan?"

"What?"

"I have somewhere to be so, sleep well."

"Okay," Mikan agreed and went completely to her room.

Koko started walking towards Natsume, slightly afraid of him because of what he had done tonight. He already received a warning from Natsume not to play with Mikan's feelings and yet he used it to win in a competition. His legs were wobbly. Well, he was really afraid of Natsume from the very start but he could manage. It would be alright. He could live through this. If anything, Natsume would be thanking him in the end for doing him a favor which didn't look like it.

"Natsume," he greeted.

Natsume gave him a curt nod and signaled him that they should do the talking outside. They rode the elevator silently and even walked in silence. Natsume was really serious.

"I'm not blind, Koko." Natsume's voice was raspy, deep, and deadly.

It was past midnight and the only present people in the vicinity were the staff who had their duties in the night. Natsume passed Koko a canned coffee which Koko accepted freely. Koko knew that his comedic antic won't work tonight because Natsume did not look like in the mood for jokes.

"Sorry."

"No need," Natsume said dejectedly, "But I remember clearly that I told you not to make fun of Mikan's feelings. This is the last time you are going to do something like this."

Koko was not stupid when it comes to Natsume. For the long time he knew Natsume, he already learned what Natsume was made of and what his real personality was. "Tell me honestly, are you jealous?" Koko asked with courage.

Natsume definitely felt something earlier and he knew what it was. "Yes," he answered truthfully.

"She loves you," Koko said it like it was the first time Natsume will hear it.

"I know."

"And you love her."

Natsume smirked. "I don't know about that."

"Oh, come on, Natsume. I am also not blind."

"She's my best friend."

"Are you aware that you are pushing her away? Away, Natsume."

Koko was a witness of Mikan's suffering. And, he could feel that a girl's patience has a limit. If Natsume won't do anything, he would permanently lose Mikan. Koko did not want that to happen.

"That's exactly what I want."

If Mikan heard that, she would be miserable. But, this could be one of Natsume's ways to deceive the people around him. Koko was not sure but he hoped he was correct. He thought that the prank he did tonight with the help of Mikan had made some effect to Natsume.

"Fine! Then let her slip away from your grasp."

"I'm just glad we're friends." It was true. Natsume could not be thankful enough that Mikan found her and that Mikan came into his life.

"If you say so."

"Koko, I am at my limit. My head hurts. I made that decision because I thought that it would be the best for the both of us, that her feelings will be gone. But, Mikan is still the same. There is nothing I can do about it now. She thinks I am her happiness but I kept on telling her that I am not. I am such a hypocrite, Koko. Because little did she knows she makes me happy, too. And, I made a wrong decision."

Koko swallowed. Now that he knew what Natsume was really feeling and how his friend was taking the blow of choosing the wrong decisions, he made a promise to himself that he would do anything that can help Natsume.

"But, don't you think you'll be happier when you would not stay as friends and be more than it?" Koko tried his best to emphasize the words to Natsume, "Think about it, Natsume. Think about it and stop being so unfair with Nobara."

Natsume lowered his head, shaking it. "If I say it, will it be that easy?" he asked but already thinking it was not that simple.

"I don't know. But, the future looks more promising if you will just tell her."

* * *

><p>Mikan just got out of the bathroom from a long, hot shower. She was already wearing her pajamas and excited for bed. She had a hard time removing her make-up and combing her hair that was why it took her so long just to take a bath. Her hair was wet so she required herself to dry her it first before finally going to sleep. Since she wanted to kill time, she decided to arrange all her things tonight rather than doing it tomorrow. She was going home tomorrow. Just like that, the trip was going to be over.<p>

She sat on the top part of her bed, going back to the things that happened tonight. Her dream confession happened. She smiled widely and squealed a little just by remembering it. For a while, the confession felt real and since they did not practiced, every action was sincere except for the intention. Even if it was Koko and not the person she truly loved, she could not help but feel happy. Her dream came true even if it was not really real or for the plain reason just to impress the board members, at least, it happened. Mikan almost believed Koko back there. She felt like he meant it. His words reached her heart and made it swell even if she knew it was not what really Koko was feeling. Still, he looked pretty serious for her.

Her hair was almost dry and she was slipping off her slippers when someone buzzed to her room. She ran straightly to the door and looked in the peephole but she saw no one. Mikan frowned, thinking that someone was playing a prank on her at a time like this. She walked towards her bed, feeling a little scared because replays of horror movies she watched her entire life started entering her mind. To make herself forget the weird thing that just happened to her, she grabbed her phone and started playing some games.

Mikan was soon-to-be engrossed on her game when she sensed that someone entered her room. She heard a click from the door and that was when her heart started racing. The only thing illuminating the room were the lampshades beside the bed. She grabbed something solid so in case the burglar or trespasser does something silly, she would have back up. Mikan walked slowly towards the door, sweating bullets and swallowing repeatedly. She took a deep breath, getting ready to hit someone but to her surprise that the burglar or trespasser was Natsume.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with nervousness, dropping the object she was holding, "God, you scared the hell out of me, Natsume. How did you get a keycard? Whatever. I know you got it illegally."

Natsume smirked at what she said. "Yeah, and money can't buy everything."

"Money cannot really buy everything," she said in defense, "So, you bribed them."

The raven-haired boy nodded and went to sit on her bed. "That and my good looks," he answered.

"What an arrogant bastard," she said, frowning.

He was smirking at the fact that he scared her. She was funny to look at in his point of view. Scaring her, though, was not the reason why he made an effort to pay a large amount of money, used his flirting skill, and lying tongue just to get an access to Mikan's room when he could just simply knock. But, the feeling that Mikan would not entertain him made him do all the things mentioned above. As expected, she was not asleep yet. Maybe because she was so overwhelmed on what happened tonight that she was too happy to sleep. Natsume brushed off the thought because it was bringing him nothing except jealousy.

Natsume watched Mikan took a seat on the couch across the bed. They were staring at each other, waiting for someone to take the lead and talk. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and opened the music player. Natsume made sure that it was on the highest volume. He took a few steps to get near her so that he can grab her hand.

"Come," he said.

Mikan followed without any complaints. "What are we doing in my hotel room's balcony?" she asked as she watched Natsume placed his phone on the cemented handrail.

"We are going to dance," he informed then music started playing.

Mikan examined his hands that were about to hold hers and said, "If you are doing this because you feel guilty, then there's no need."

He grinned in amusement. "I didn't know you always think that way. Can't it be just for the plain reason that I want to dance with you?" he replied.

"Okay," she said and accepted the dance.

They did not sway each other in an exaggerated manner or did some steps or changed positions. Their bodies just made contact and they started following the melody of the slow and sweet music. Natsume hugged her body tighter, being affected by the sweetness of the music. He made a promise to her that he would ask her for a dance and he never did forget it. From all what happened earlier at the ball, Natsume did not have the chance to ask her for the last dance. It was his only option. He wanted her to be his last dance. The lights might not be the same and so was the place but it gave the same feeling of love.

She was smiling sweetly and secretly. Mikan understood now why Natsume barged into her room like that. For her, tonight was a proof that Natsume was not the type of person who breaks a promise and to think it was really sweet that he was her last dance after all. Natsume was her best friend without a doubt. At times like this, he never had let her down. Mikan did not get a song from him or a nice speech but he gave her a very meaningful dance. Mikan hugged him tightly also, praying that tonight would never end.

"There's something I want to say to you."

"About?" Mikan asked, her head leaning on his chest.

"Can't tell it now."

She looked at him with disappointment, saying, "What's with the cliffhanger?"

"I'm finding the courage to say it."

"You?" she asked, giggling, "Now, that's funny."

Natsume ignored her mockery and continued on the things he decided to say to her tonight. "But, I'll say what I have to say now."

"Okay. Go on."

"I'm sorry for making this trip not what you expected. You should be enjoying yourself instead of feeling aggravated every time you see me."

"Do you know what Koko told me?" Mikan asked with a smile as if she was about to share something to enlightening and inspirational.

"What?"

Mikan took a seat on the handrail with her hands supporting her from falling. She leaned forward a bit and looked up to Natsume. "Being happy is a choice. And I'm choosing it, Natsume. You don't have to worry about it or about me. You enjoyed this trip, didn't you? I think that is the thing that you should care for and not my happiness. When you said that our friendship is starting to be an obligation, you're right about that. I'm forcing you to be with me all the time when it is not supposed to be that way. Be with your other friends, enjoy your life, make lots of memories. But, don't you dare forget me."

Natsume was glad to hear that from her, that she was finally learning, but some sentences contradicted his purpose for tonight.

"Easy for you to say."

"What do you mean?"

"If you only know."

"Natsume, I don't understand why you are doing this. I mean, we can do this when we get back home so you could save a lot of money."

He leaned on the rail, too. "I wanted to see you. And talk to you. And hear your voice. Immediately."

Mikan tapped him on the shoulders, smiling at the nice talk they were having. "Let's do again what we do as friends. Movie night, opening up, helping each other out, going to school and going home together, eating together, having friend's night out. It feels like you are walking away from me for the past months and I just want to get back on what we were doing before."

He noticed it, too. The changes they were undergoing.

"I… miss you."

Mikan wanted to jump out of joy because Natsume was being so honest but she would not embarrass herself like that. "Oh, my best friend is being sweet. Didn't know you have it in you."

"It belongs to the things I want to say to you," Natsume replied nonchalantly.

"Natsume, don't get my hopes up."

"I don't know what to do about that because I think I messed up. Big time."

"On what? If you have a problem, isn't it just fine to tell me what is that? I am not just your friend, I am your best friend."

"If you only know."

Mikan gave him a weird look because she found it annoying that he was just giving her subtle answers. If he messed up, she was willing to help him but it was Natsume himself who did not want her help. Mikan had a guess that it had something to do with her. Yes, she was not a complete idiot not to notice it.

"Hey, Natsume."

"What?"

"I won't rely on you too much. Because I realized that I am old enough to make my own decisions. So, if you see doing things randomly, then don't get surprise. I just didn't ask for your opinion."

"About Nobara…" he trailed.

It was her plan on not to give him the chance to speak because it might change whatever she had on her mind. So, the moment Nobara's name was thrown, she took the opportunity to comment about her. "I find her really kind, Natsume. You are perfect for each other. I mean it. She is easy to be with and she has a very nice personality. I understand why you like her. Maybe it's hard to believe coming from me, but I really, really mean this. She's a nice catch, Natsume. Don't let her go. Don't hurt her. Heartbreaks are so painful."

"Polka…"

"I wish you two the best," she added.

"…dots"

"Yeah?"

Natsume smiled weakly, gently pulling out his hand to pat her head. "Shut up. I'm annoyed by your voice."

Mikan pouted at his words. "How dare you say that to my face, Natsume. But, kidding aside, I will act as your best friend now. You are right when you said that this friendship is beginning to be an obligation. I'm making things right."

"Did it hurt?" he asked, referring to their fight yesterday.

"Like hell," Mikan described with a smile.

"I'm sorry."

Her face turned serious now, gazing at the view that can be seen from her balcony. "No need. I actually learned a lesson and got over it."

"Good then."

Mikan nodded and faced Natsume. "Koko's been a lot of help. He taught me so many things about family and happiness. Does it sound surprising?"

"What did he say?" he asked curiously, thinking that Koko became a big part of Mikan's life in just a short time.

Mikan automatically smiled at the question, proving that she had learned many things from Koko and she was excited to tell it. "A lot. Koko's really not bad. You are lucky you are friends with him and I am glad I came to know him. Just like you, I want to be his friend forever. He looks like not taking things seriously on the outside but on the inside he is very observant. He is very wise about life. Every time I talk to him, I get enlightened. In short, Koko is such a wonderful person."

The smile on Mikan's face while she was saying those things almost convinced Natsume that his best friend finally gave up on him. But, moving on could not be that simple. It would be very impossible to achieve it overnight and he wanted to ask Mikan about that but the timing was wrong, not after he said to forget about him. He really did make a big mess. Would the future still look promising?

"Natsume, I met my father."

"Is that what you wanted to tell me that night?"

"Yes."

He was really wrong for ignoring her like that at that night. Natsume did not guess that what Mikan was trying to tell her is about her father. Now, he felt worse. Fathers were a big deal for the both of them. How idiotic of him to yell at her on one of the most important days of her life. No wonder she was angry. At that point, Natsume thought that no matter what he was willing to do for her, it would never be enough for the very reason that he was bad at hiding his feelings. He really could not do it after all. He really could not let her go.

"What's he like?" he asked.

"He's nice to me. I did not expect him to have such a respectable man as my father. To think that he left us. I saw a side of me in him. He is cheerful too and loves to eat. But, unlike me, he is afraid of many things, so many questions and doubts in his head. To think that it took him sixteen years before finally having the courage to face his family is kinda weird," Mikan stared at Natsume, as if she was seeing her father on her best friend, "Natsume, I don't want to be like him who needed to leave his own family just to find the bravery he wanted. I am sure there are other things or options beside that."

"It might not be."

"Cowards lose."

Natsume smirked at the truth, saying, "I think you are right."

After the dance, the talk was not done yet. Mikan announced that she was feeling sleepy so she lay on the bed already and Natsume followed her as well. It was like a Movie Night has ended. They were sleeping on the same bed for purely platonic reasons. Mikan buried her head on his chest while Natsume was just enjoying the warmth it gave.

"When you said that the exhibit is not that important, did you mean it?" Mikan asked, head still on his chest.

"No."

She looked up with a smile of relief. "That's good to hear," she said.

Natsume was patting her head, a way of his to put her to sleep.

"Can you guess what I'm thinking right now?" Mikan asked.

"I don't remember being a mind-reader," Natsume joked.

Mikan hit him on the back, where her hand reached first. "I'm glad to have you. I'm happy you are here with me like the best friend you are supposed to be."

Natsume rested his chin on the top of her head. "Just so you know, best friends don't cuddle each other like this."

The brunette wanted to ask on what was up with that sentence because he made it sound so twisted. It gave Mikan the idea that their actions were not common to best friends. She reasoned out that maybe her best friend was just being a pervert and a total tease but it did not work out for her. Natsume was extra sweet to her tonight and she thought it was just fine but his last words had a different meaning behind it.

And did he just kiss the top of her head?

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Koko!" she greeted with the widest grin she could do and with the loudest voice she could produce.<p>

"Someone is in a good mood," Koko commented with a sly smile.

"Shut up. This is your doing."

His doing? Ah, this was about last night, right? Koko did not even want to comment on that. He just wanted to leave it that way.

Koko grabbed Mikan's hand, started dragging and said, "Come on. The bus will leave us."

"Oh, okay."

Natsume thought that holding Mikan's hand was a right he only had. Now, even Koko was close to Mikan as he was to her. Natsume clenched his fist for thinking such selfish thoughts. Mikan did not prohibit him to date, right? She did not tell him not do this, not to do that. In fact, he liked that about her. He liked everything about her. Sadly, there were many things that he could not tell her now but he will soon, and he wished that it would not be too late.

"What are you looking at, Hyuuga?"

Natsume glanced at his side, knowing it was Hotaru Imai in the very first place. "Can't seem to mind your own business, huh?" he spat.

"Don't tell me that. I am perfectly aware on what's happening."

"Whatever."

Hotaru eyed Natsume while looking at Koko and Mikan joking around. "You know, Mikan is a nice girl and Koko is not a bad guy," she said with her cold, knowing tone, "Do you agree, Hyuuga?"

Natsume was aware that Hotaru knew everything but he was not stupid to fall for that trick question. He chose to smirk and nod, showing his supportive side and that he was not affected, but in reality, he wished he did not act like a coward and just let it happen. He messed up indeed. Big time.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>I am starting to love the word 'indeed'; used it on two Facebook statuses. Haha, no big deal, just ranting. <strong>

**Ahmmm, you see, I have a problem. My problem is making a book cover for Chasing You. Hehe, I don't know if I should put one and leave it like that. What do you think? Is it that important? What can you say about the changes in FFN? What can you say about this chapter? **

**Review? **


	17. The Lines You Drew

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Seventeen**

_**The Lines You Drew**_

_So many nights trying to hide it_

_But now I stay awake just pleading for more_

_To think this heart was divided_

_I'm losing sleep cause I can't ignore…_

"Natsume is such a lucky guy to have you."

Mikan snorted at the comment Anna just gave. If she had given anything to Natsume as best friend, it was stress. Mikan could not remember a particular time wherein she served as the ultimate best friend. She just realized it now that Natsume was right about her being the girl who was helplessly in love with her own best friend rather than being the best friend. It looked clearer now who she really was on Natsume's life. Yes, the love was still there but as long as she can hide it, then she will.

They were grocery shopping for Natsume's birthday. Mikan had always given Natsume a surprise birthday party that through the years, due to its repetitiveness, was not a surprise anymore. Even so, Mikan never lost the motivation to celebrate Natsume's birthday with all her effort. She wanted a celebration even if Natsume hated his own birthday. He had so many reasons to hate his own birthday but she had more reasons on why they need to celebrate it. She would like to call it an annual persuasion that birthdays were not that so bad in spite of growing old which had a requirement that you should mature, too.

"Anna, do you think these will do?" she asked, pointing at the cart full of goods.

The pink-haired girl sighed and pushed the cart. "Of course, Mikan. I think it's more than enough. Why don't you just buy a cake instead of preparing to this extent?" she asked as if she did not know the answer.

"I can't believe that's coming from your mouth, Anna."

"But, Mikan, I'm just being practical. How can you have enough time for preparation when the exhibit will last all afternoon?"

Mikan stared blankly, muttering, "Simple. I won't go."

The way Anna's eyes widened was funny that it was similar to an owl's and a real indication on how unbelievable what Mikan just said. Anna looked at her friend indifferently, thinking how unreasonable Mikan could get. But, she halted on judging Mikan just like that because she thought that maybe her friend was just joking so she asked for confirmation.

"What? Is my hearing fine?"

Mikan stole the cart from Anna's grasp, walking towards the Noodle Section. "Anna, your hearing is more than fine."

"But I heard you say that you won't go to the exhibit," Anna repeated, catching at Mikan's pace.

"I did say that."

"Mikan! Are you crazy? Do you know how devastating that will be for Natsume?"

Devastating? That was an exaggerated use of word. Mikan could only laugh. She was more than sure that at the end of the day Natsume would still be Natsume and if there will be any violent reaction from him, she had a reason to say. After her reconciliation with Natsume, she was trying her best to be there for him. Besides, he needed her more after the exhibit and not during it. She had no part on it, just an interested visitor if ever. Why did Natsume make the exhibit on the same day as his birthday? Mikan thought that she had something to do with it because she kept on mentioning it here and there.

"Gee, Anna, he can live. Besides, he will be surprise that when he comes home, he will be welcomed by a surprise birthday party."

"Personally, I don't think it's a good plan. Natsume expects you to be there."

Visitors from the Art circuit were the persons Natsume will be expecting to be there and not her. She really wanted to come but she also needed to prepare.

"I'll find time for that," she answered with a smile.

"Just think about it again, Mikan."

She gave Anna a nod but her decision was final although Anna seemed to notice that she was lying because she kept on staring like an observant child.

"Before I do that, let's finish buying all the things in my list."

"Okay."

* * *

><p>The day finally came. Misaki finished instructing the crew about the flow of the program this afternoon. She was tired but she knew that of all people Natsume would be the one who was handling all the pressure. Misaki smiled knowing that the day had finally come. It took such a long process for this exhibit to come to life and that was why Natsume might be feeling a lot of emotions now but he was just too good at hiding it. Misaki was taking a good look on the whole place before she finally noticed that the man of the day was standing right there at the entrance. The pink-haired woman walked towards him, with arms crossed, she playfully nudged Natsume at the upper arm.<p>

"You look nervous. Is this for real?"

"Shut up."

Natsume was staring at an abstract displayed at the lobby of The Gallery. It was painted by Misaki's grandfather who was well-known in the field of cultural arts. Natsume started to wonder what was it in a painting that makes everyone relate to it. His paintings were mostly from his experiences and he purposely hid some of the details very well and others were well-exposed. He had enough confidence yesterday but today it was draining like liquid. He clenched his fist for having doubts and even though it was normal to feel uneasy, he wished that it would just go away.

"You are seventeen and you already have your own exhibit. You are very talented, Natsume. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about."

"Don't expect me to compliment you in return," he said with a smirk.

Misaki gave him a warning look, murmuring, "What a jerk."

She was trying to lighten up his mood and Natsume appreciated the effort. Four years ago when Tsubasa told her about a cousin that had the talent to draw, she was not that interested because there were many of them who can put lines into something. It was until a year when she officially met Natsume. It seemed like Tsubasa was being bothered by Mikan about helping Natsume to have a small exhibit. She had doubts when she first saw Natsume because he was so young and he could tell that he needed to learn a lot. Even though Tsubasa and Natsume acted like they hated each other, Tsubasa really wanted an exhibit to happen because it might not happen after high school since Natsume won't be pursuing any career that would be related to Art after high school.

Misaki agreed after giving him a test to draft a caricature of his favorite painting. The painting was Café Terrace. She was surprised because she did not expect that the arrogant kid would like that painting and what was more amazing was that he imitated the painting and presented it to her like he owned it. From that moment on, Misaki made sure that Natsume would be getting his exhibit. It took three years form him to learn and he was still learning. The day Natsume showed in front of her was the day all the preparation had started.

Those preparations were done for today. To this day that he would be showing them what he got. The first and last demand of an art was experience. Without a doubt, Natsume shared all his experiences since childhood in all his painting that will be displayed this afternoon.

"Hey, Misaki. Is your boyfriend coming?"

Misaki gave a teasing smile, knowing that somehow deep inside Natsume's heart of stone, he was thankful of Tsubasa for all the help. "Do you want him to? Aww, what a sweet cousin he has."

"Don't get me wrong," he clarified.

"Then, why don't you ask him?"

"Just forget I asked."

Misaki did not extend the topic about Tsubasa furthermore.

"Let me tell you something about you and your paintings."

"You'll still continue even if I don't want to hear it, right?"

"You like colors so much, Natsume. You are good at it and I don't know how you do it but whatever technique you have, keep it yours. Be thankful, be proud of yourself but not too much. A great future awaits you and I envy you because you don't have to work for it like anyone else. But, what we get so easily also disappears from us just like that. Take care of everything, okay?"

Misaki tapped his shoulder, smiling at him like she was expecting him to do what she advised. There was silence after that talk but it did not last as Misaki spoke up again. "So, do you want to display an exhibit of caricature in the future?" she asked.

"That would be okay."

"That's nice to know."

"Is that all?" Natsume asked.

"No."

"What else?" he asked, a little annoyed.

"Happy birthday."

* * *

><p>"What is the gift for?" Yura asked, yawning.<p>

"A birthday," Nobara replied, smiling as she was started wrapping the gift.

"Whose birthday?"

"Natsume."

Yura snorted the moment Natsume's name came up. She should not have asked because since Nobara came to like Natsume, everything she does was for him. Since Yura was randomly visiting at Nobara's home only to find her friend giggling over a box, she might as well annoy her. She snatched the box which almost ripped the gift wrap. "Do you really need to wrap it? I mean, it will just be torn to pieces afterwards," Yura threw in.

Nobara frowned at the childishness of Yura, snatching the gift back to her hands. "Stop being so foolish, Yura."

"Do what you want then," Yura replied, rolling her eyes.

"Thank you."

Watching Nobara was boring and Yura really did not come randomly because she had a purpose for visiting. She then said her real reason for stopping by. "I came here for a reason, by the way." She might not be the nicest person in town but she was nice enough to go this far for a relative. So far that she would not care if the only person in school who cared about her would get angry.

"I knew it. What is it?"

With a sigh, Yura said, "Rei wants to talk to you."

The news made Nobara's smile turn into frown, made her working hands stop, and made her look to Yura with disappointed eyes. Sometimes, her kindness was abused by the people she trusted the most but she would not always get it through her. She had better things to think of rather than nonsense things concerning about her past.

"Didn't we discuss this before?" Nobara replied calmly.

Yura was surprised on her friend's reaction. She expected that Nobara would start throwing tantrums immediately after she opened up the topic about Rei again.

"Please, Nobara. Give him a chance."

"No."

"Please. Just this one."

Nobara was getting irritated at the constant pushing of her friend. "No, Yura."

Yura knew how Nobara's conscience worked and with just a few emotional skit, everything would change. She hated being open about her emotions but she just could not let Nobara have that decision anymore.

"Nobara, I know that I am not the greatest person to be with. I am not a good friend to you or to anyone. I even doubt if I am a good person. My family is twisted and so what my cousin did to you but we deserve a chance to be heard and considered. My cousin, I agree, was a complete jerk to you and he does not deserve your forgiveness. But, he wants to tell you the truth so at least give him the chance to do so."

The gray-haired girl stood up, securing the gift in her cabinet. She was thinking of what Yura just ranted to her, making her change her mind slowly. Suddenly, she was thinking about the pros of meeting up with Rei and also its cons. Finally a peace of mind, maybe? Nobara did not know. She had no clue or guarantee that she could talk to him in such a decent manner. Nobara did not want to turn back because seeing Yura would definitely change her mind. She could not decide. It would have been easier if there was someone who could tell her the best thing to do. If ever she told Natsume about Rei, would he agree to this? But, in the first place, why would she tell that to Natsume? Rei was a dead topic to her until Yura blurted it out for the first time in years.

Nobara massaged her temples, clenching her fist, and looking back at Yura. "Okay, Yura. You got me."

"Does this mean you'll go?" Yura asked with a wide smile.

"Yes," she mumbled as if she was regretting it.

"Thank you, Nobara."

Nobara looked up to her friend with a tough face. "But I have conditions," she added.

"Tell it all and I will send it to my cousin at once."

* * *

><p>"Are you," the voice came out as teasing and mocking, "Waiting for someone in particular?"<p>

Natsume turned to his side, his hands still on the pocket of his pants. "No," he replied without flinching.

"Liar," Misaki quickly accused.

Natsume hit her in the forehead, saying, "Get lost, Misaki."

Misaki glared at him, trying to him in the same spot but failed to do so. She gave up in no time and started fixing her dress. "We will open that door in a few minutes. The ribbon cutting will be done by your mother who is already here. Your sister is an hour early. Ruka is here. Mikan's friends are here. Oh wait, Yome is not here yet."

"Koko?"

"Yeah," Misaki confirmed, nodding.

"Oh."

Misaki gave him a light tap on the shoulder before leaving completely. Everybody was almost here. Of all the people that could be late, it had to be Mikan. Well, she was not really late because the exhibit would not start in about an hour but still… every person that was close to him was already here. His hands were sweating. Natsume could only grin at himself. He had to keep his cool and not think of anything stressful. Mikan would come eventually. He just had to be ready to do everything as planned. Although it was as it easy as it sound, it was still hard to achieve. Patience was the thing he needed the most this afternoon.

His friends came, congratulating him in advance and giving their birthday greetings. Koko came minutes after without any idea where Mikan was. Tsubasa kept on teasing him all throughout but he ignored him all the way. Later, that cousin of him will receive some spanking from the girlfriend herself, Misaki. His exhibit became like a reunion which was fine for him. His mother approached him, telling how happy she was for him that somehow he was able to make his dream come true and apologizing for Ioran's absence. Natsume told to her mother to stop talking about his father. He came to hate his father more and more everyday but he would never tell him that to Kaoru because it would only add to her heartbreak.

Aoi was nice enough to clear her schedule and actually go to his exhibit. There was not much exchange of words between them but they knew it already, they knew already the things they wanted to tell to each other. The happenings made him forget about Mikan's absence for a bit. He could wait for her for forever but the exhibit needed to start. Kaoru did the ribbon cutting as planned. Misaki gave a little speech about Art Exhibitions and the beauty of his painting since some of the works were for sale. Natsume did not mutter a word as he wanted to give the talking part to Misaki. He was there as the creator of those art and nothing else.

There were lots of painting techniques but watercolor fascinated him the most. Because watercolor was the first medium he used that he grew fond of it. Painting was not something he could pursue so he could just draw something then make the best out of it. After tonight, there was no more chance. He had to inherit a business from the father he hated. After tonight, the future did not look bright anymore. This exhibit was his first and last. As a high school student, he was very fortunate to have an exhibition of his own and although he won't say it, he was glad for everything.

Despite the numerous offering of scholarships, he could not accept any of them. This craft of his was short-lived after all. Even after everything, misfortune still struck him like everyone else. He was not invincible as a contrary to popular belief.

And, in the end, Mikan did not come.

"Look at you. You are so busy."

Natsume looked up, placing the glass of water on his side. "Hey," he greeted.

Nobara sat beside him. There was this small fountain at the back of The Gallery. Since Natsume was nowhere to be found inside, she figured out that he must be getting some fresh air. "As I am looking at you now, I cannot quite comprehend how big of a person you are," she tried seeing his eyes, "You really are great, Natsume. So talented, so gifted. At this age, you have already reached far."

"Just taking my time and doing everything I can."

Nobara turned around, careful not to accidentally dip her feet on the water. "Ah, you are talking about college."

"Do you like them?" he asked, referring to the paintings.

"I doubt that I can answer that in words. Since, you know, it is an artistic experience." Nobara smiled after saying that, laughing at Natsume's reaction. "You looked annoyed. I was just joking. I like all of them. It is so you. But, looking at them longer than normal makes me jealous on your talent."

"My life is not perfect."

The girl shrugged her shoulders, giggling. "Nobody is, but it is still meaningful."

"Right."

They were talking about life in such a serious manner. Life was supposed to be fun. Everything could be done in one's life. Life was so common that people tend to be less interested about it and make the most of it. People who could choose freely were the ones disregarding it like they could live eternally. Some considered their lives a living hell. Some got the best of it. Natsume was stuck in between. Well, everybody was stuck in between, it was just a matter of taking action to bring yourself in a better place.

Nobara placed her gift on Natsume's lap. "Happy birthday," she greeted him for the first time that night, "You don't have to open it now. I want you to have that present so please use it in the future."

He touched with the ribbon, knowing how much time Nobara had put in giving him one. "Thanks," he said, placing the gift on the free space on his right.

His reaction was less enthusiastic than she expected. She had a clue on what the reason could be. Nobara hated to talk anything about Mikan with Natsume because she felt crossing the line but at times like this, she could not help. "Mikan is not here. Is that why you are not having fun?" she asked, already feeling upset on the obvious answer.

"What?" Natsume asked, annoyed.

"Why is she not here?" she restated the question.

His expression turned sour and uninviting. "I don't care about that idiot," he said like he really meant it.

Seriously, he was mad at her. He was mad at Mikan and he could come up with hundreds of reasons why. Because of her unexplainable absence that he found the exhibit meaningless. Misaki could handle all of them, the people that would be looking for him. He was actually a mere existence there and no one needed him because the business would be directed to Misaki. He painted those not for his enjoyment but for Mikan's appreciation. Now, those art works were nothing to him. He was not in the mood for praises and good time. How could he if he was feeling agitated. Natsume wanted an escape from the crowd, from his friends, from his own exhibit.

"Then, would you go out with me after your exhibit finishes?"

It seemed like Nobara was the answer to his prayer.

* * *

><p>The brunette was smiling widely while fixing the plates that will be used later on. Everything was all set. Natsume would be so surprise the moment he sees all of these. Mikan was feeling satisfied with the fruits of her refined effort. When the door bell rang, she cheerfully ran for it. She opened the door expecting to see everyone and with Natsume leading them but Koko welcomed her instead.<p>

"Mikan! We are here!" Koko greeted, entering in the house, and started rubbing his empty stomach when he saw the food. He was tempted to eat everything.

Everyone entered casually while Mikan was still in search for her best friend.

"You did not come after all. Do you know how pissed off Natsume was?" Nonoko asked, sounding worried.

Mikan was worried for a second but smiled after, proudly saying, "Really? Well, wait 'till he sees this."

Nonoko was about to say something when Hotaru pushed her. The brunette could not forget how Hotaru looked at her that night. It was like that Hotaru was telling her that she did a stupid thing and now she had to suffer the consequences. Mikan's reaction was just a smile, assuring herself that she did the right thing.

"Hello, Mikan."

"Hi, Aoi."

"No wonder my brother is in a bad mood. You did not come."

"I am trying to make it up to him," Mikan mumbled.

"Just call me when he arrives," Aoi said, making a call-me motion and walking towards the stairs.

Mikan nodded, starting to feel unsure of her decision. "Sure," she said lowly.

"Mom, Mikan's here." Mikan heard Aoi yelled from the stairs, making her look on the door.

Before she could prepare to greet Kaoru, she was already beside her. "Hey, Auntie. Thank you for letting me used everything." Mikan looked flushed and worried.

"No need for that, dear."

"Have you eaten?" Mikan asked kindly.

Kaoru waved her hand as a sign of 'no'. Aoi came back from upstairs to give her mother's coat and went up again. "I will be eating at my late dinner meeting," Kaoru informed.

Mikan was astonished to hear that. Suddenly, everything was not going as planned. Everyone was saying that Natsume was in a bad mood, no one agreed to her decision of not coming, and now Natsume's own mother won't be on his birthday. It was sad to know the fact that Natsume's parents could not care less about this important day. This was why she wanted everything to be special. It had been an annual challenge for Mikan to make Natsume like his own birth date but seventeen years had passed and nothing changed.

"But, today is Natsume's birthday."

"I know and I already promised to make it up to him. Just make him happy for me, Mikan."

"Okay," she replied weakly but she doubted greatly if she could really do that in this kind of situation.

"Goodbye for now."

Just like that, Kaoru was gone. Mikan saw her friends already occupying the table, getting ready to eat. They were tired and hungry also but they could not start without Natsume because that would destroy the purpose of everything. Koko started eating the dessert but Anna made him stop in a few seconds. It was already dinner time and Natsume knew that there would be a celebration after so what was up with him to stood them up? Drowned in thoughts, Mikan just noticed that Hotaru was sitting beside her. Hotaru seated there, looking at her with such face. Mikan felt awkward to sense that Hotaru seemed so disappointed in her. She decided to have a small talk with her.

"Hotaru! How was the exhibit?"

"You should have been there," she answered coldly, making everyone turn to them.

"I'll apologize to him later," Mikan said, finally acknowledging her fault.

"Good luck with that then."

"Natsume is reportedly gone before the exhibit ended," Ruka butted in.

Mikan was shocked to hear that. He left his own exhibit. Her initial reaction was disappointment but then she realized that there could be a reason. Natsume found a more worthy place to be rather than his own exhibit. Mikan's heart shrunk, remembering the conversation she had with Natsume about the importance of this art show. She started to think if this was her fault, for being narrow-minded and selfish. Mikan tried her best not to feel saddened by it but anyone could tell that she was affected.

"He is with Nobara," Hotaru informed.

Everyone looked on how Mikan would react but the brunette stayed calm. "How did you know?" she asked in such a low voice. She was affected nevertheless.

"I have eyes," Hotaru answered, "I have a bad feeling. He might not come."

"Don't say things like that," Anna said.

Hotaru stared at Mikan who seemed lost in her own thoughts. She hated to do this but she must make Mikan realize her mistake. "What Mikan did was wrong. She should have at least displayed her face there because that exhibit is for her."

No one argued because their sentiment was the same. It was actually obvious because the subject of three of the paintings was all her. Now, Natsume did not have the chance to show that to her because she chose not to come. Anna felt bad for not persuading Mikan even more to come to the exhibit. In the end, everyone thought of her decision as wrong. Mikan did not want to dwell on it more because nothing would change. What's done was done. She just hoped that Natsume extended his understanding tonight or else Mikan would be receiving a lot of crap from him.

Ruka broke the silence, commenting about Hotaru's opinion. "When you talk like that, it scares me. Because it always comes true."

"Let's just hope I am wrong this time," Hotaru replied.

"Well, that is just like asking for the impossible, right?" Ruka retorted with an amuse smile.

Hotaru frowned at the comment, saying, "You are so funny, Nogi."

No one mentioned about Mikan making the wrong decision again as the night went. The length of time that they waited for Natsume became longer and longer. Natsume would not come and it was quite apparent to everyone but they still chose to wait to be there for Mikan when Natsume release his anger. The food was unmoved at the table, losing its appetizing appearance as the time passed. They were still waiting for Natsume to come especially Mikan who had this day on a countdown since four months ago. The brunette was staring at the window, waiting for someone to enter that gate. She was the one waiting this time.

"Mikan, can we eat now?" Koko asked who was just at the table, staring at the food.

"No. Natsume is not here yet."

"He is an hour late and I am hungry. I haven't eaten since lunch."

"A few more minutes, Koko, please."

"Eat," Hotaru interrupted, "Nothing's gonna change anyway. It's not like Hyuuga would react so childishly if he finds us eating after waiting for him."

Mikan looked defeated and observed her friends. They were really tired so she just let them. "Okay, Hotaru. Whatever you say."

She was very stubborn though because even though everyone had eaten, Mikan did not take anything. She was still waiting for Natsume and did not have the appetite to digest a single food. Mikan felt a little happiness when she saw the satisfied faces of her friends. She did not solely cook the food but she helped a lot in making them so she felt like receiving the credit. They talked about the Organization Ball wherein Koko and Mikan pulled a very nice stunt. Up to now, it looked like that they could not still get over it with. Koko happily narrated to everyone how it all began while Mikan was just silently listening to him. Those days were the times Koko was always there for her.

An hour passed by and everyone decided that it was time to go home. Kaoru also got back from the meeting. Natsume had not come in the end. Ruka said that he tried contacting Natsume but he was not responding. Mikan seemed better when she was sending them off. She did not want them to go home that they'll remember how much of a failure tonight had come. Still, no one said a word. Koko proposed to stay a bit but was dragged by Ruka, telling him that he had nothing to do in there anymore.

Koko stood before the brunette. "Goodnight, Mikan."

"Goodbye. Just tell Natsume happy birthday." Ruka said with a caring smile.

Koko tapped Mikan's head, messing her hair. "Don't be so sad. He'll come."

Mikan nodded, smiling on the way Koko said it like he was a hundred percent sure. Somehow, it gave her hope that this night would end fine. "I will just help in the cleaning then I'll go home. Goodnight everyone."

They said their goodbyes and just like that they were gone and Mikan was left alone. She decided that she would wait for him because what she was about to say could not wait for tomorrow. Apart from the birthday greetings, she had a lot more to say now to him. Waiting for him to go home tonight was nothing from waiting for him in about ten years. Although the fact that he was with Nobara kept on hurting her feelings little by little, there was really nothing she could do. She just hoped that nothing bad will happen. Looking at the preparations she had done made her feel the tiredness. Nothing was successful this year. She blew it.

Mikan placed her feet on the couch, resting her forehead on her knee. She closed her eyes, feeling awake despite of the lateness of the night. Seconds went and she realized that she was crying already. She was just sad because her expectations were not met. She let her new plans ruin the old ones. And now, Natsume ditched her for Nobara. As bad as that sounded, she could still not get angry with Nobara. Not after she declared that she will just be the best friend. For forever.

A small click from the door was heard and that was when Mikan quickly stood up, getting the cake from the table and lighting up its candles. She ran as fast as she can to welcome him. This time she was not wrong. Natsume really came although he seemed to be expecting it because he looked stoic as ever. Mikan put up her widest smile despite the worn-out feeling.

"Happy birthday, Natsume!"

Natsume stared at her and then his eyes travelled at the cake. He walked passed her, saying, "I told you not to do this."

"I thought you would come since you always come," Mikan answered, trying to be cheerful.

"Nobara asked me out," Natsume said, sitting on the couch. He searched for the remote and when he found it he just opened the television, acting as if Mikan was not there.

Mikan got upset with his rudeness. He was late, he ditched them, and now he was showing no signs of feeling a little thankful or sorry. She stood before him, blocking his view of the television. Natsume grinned resentfully on her action and just turned off the appliance.

"Oh, I see. That is why you stood up your friends."

"Look who's talking. Weren't you the one who stood me up?" Natsume retorted, his voice bore no emotion.

"I was busy preparing," Mikan answered, putting the cake on the small table beside the couch.

Natsume snorted at her answer. It sounded too stupid for him. It was irrational and invalid. For him, only a person with no brain would do such thing. "Busy preparing? What an idiotic excuse."

"I want you to have a happy birthday!" Mikan yelled.

"I did not ask for that! What I wanted was for you to come on my exhibit," Natsume replied, yelling at her also, "You are the one who asked me to do that. You are so thrilled about it and in the end, you did not come. What do you expect me to feel?"

"Since it is your birthday, I thought…"

"Let's just end this conversation."

Mikan quickly ran past him, blocking his way. "No, we're not. Not until we settle this."

Natsume glanced at the table, seeing how much she prepared for such a stupid day. "Keep the food. I am not hungry."

"Don't act so childish, Natsume."

"Don't tell me that. You are the one acting childish."

"I don't understand why you are so angry. At least, I have a valuable reason."

"You don't understand."

"What? What is it that I don't understand?" Mikan asked demandingly. She wanted to know it badly. She wanted to know what was making him so angry.

"Everything," he answered vaguely.

"Don't make me laugh, Natsume."

He pushed her to the side. "That's why I want this conversation to end," he said.

Mikan pushed him back, making him stop. She was breathing irregularly because of anger. She glared at Natsume so much that she thought she could finally top the glare he was always giving her. Suddenly, she ran towards the table wherein she placed the cake before and put the pastry on her two hands. Mikan did not care anymore on what the consequences of her action would be. Right now, she was so angry that she could hurt Natsume physically. She looked into his eyes, tried her best to stare at it like she was overpowering him despite the scanty tears escaping her eyes.

"Can you see this cake?" she asked, almost yelling at him, "I studied it, asked for help, put a lot of effort just to make it. For you. I want this birthday to be extra special for you with the exhibit and all of your achievements. I thought you would appreciate the thoughtfulness. I thought all these preparations would make you happy. If you are just a regular person, then it can happen. But, now, you are just an all-time jerk!"

With no more talking, she threw the cake into his face. She made sure that he would get a taste of the cake since it was for him nevertheless. Natsume was making her stop and she did when the cake was all over his face and body. Mikan did not regret making that cake to just put it into his face. The satisfaction she felt was great. With that, she walked away, attempting to go home.

"Where are you going?" Natsume asked, grabbing her hand and throwing the bowl of pasta at her.

"How dare you!" Mikan yelled, fuming in resentment.

"How dare you," Natsume said, mocking her.

Mikan felt angrier than ever, knowing how much money and effort she put in all those food and now he was just throwing it at her like it was nothing. Yes, she knew she started it but she did not think that he would do the same. He was looking at her like he was challenging her, like he wanted her to take revenge. Mikan was dripping with sauce. She could say that she looked ridiculous right now. She made a quick decision on not to care anymore so she grabbed a bottle of soft drink, opened its cap, and poured it on Natsume.

"You think you are so great! You think you own the world! Just because you had your achievements, you act like a jerk. Huh?" she kept on saying, while hitting him with the bottle, "Go bald, Natsume! Live the rest of your hairless life with Nobara Ibaragi! You are not that great, you bastard!"

Natsume pushed her off him, feeling sticky soda all around his body. "Well, aren't I? I am good with anything while you suck at everything."

"So what? That doesn't matter anyway! In this world, I deserve to live rather than you."

"What a stupid thing to say," he mocked her, snorting at the same time.

Mikan grabbed the bowl of salad and started hitting Natsume with it. "You can't just act like you want. Not everyone will listen to you, you stupid, moronic, bastard!"

"Can't help it. If you can't live with it, then go. Who needs you anyway?"

That actually hurt. He was saying this because he already had a Nobara Ibaragi to run to. Mikan clenched her fist, taking in the fact that her tears had not stop. She started sniffing for air. Not only she looked pathetic right now, she also felt heartbroken with his words. She did not know if it was to provoke her or if those were the truth. Actually, she did not care anymore because nothing can surpass the sadness she was feeling right now. Everything had gone to waste. The food, the time, the money, and the friendship. Just when she thought that everything had gone back to before with them now, something like this will happen. She was about to say sorry but she totally forgot about it after experiencing that mad side of him.

"Oh, so you are nothing but an arrogant moron now. No wonder people are afraid of you. You are such a monster."

"For your information, I'm the most sought-after guy in school."

"Well… they're blind!" she yelled, throwing a fruit at him.

Natsume scoffed, "Then you are blind."

She went to him, making him fall down with a loud thud. "Not anymore!" she yelled at his face.

Natsume found it hard to stand but still managed to it. He leaned at her, whispering, "Have fun denying that."

"I'm telling the truth. Why are you being mean today?" she said in return, pushing him, "I can't believe you became my best friend."

"And I can't believe I even talked to you in the first place."

Mikan was trying to calm herself but when she heard that, she felt that extreme fury again. "That's it. You idiot!" she yelled, hitting him in the stomach and fell down together with him, "Die in hell!"

She continued on hitting him in the face, in the shoulder, in the chest, in the stomach. Natsume decided to cut off the playtime so he grabbed her wrists, pushing her on his side, and making him on top. He made sure that Mikan's hands were immobile so that she could no longer hurt him. Her hands may be useless but she used her feet to hurt him somehow. Natsume could see how much Mikan was hurting with all her reaction tonight. She was releasing her anger and it was too much for him to handle. He did not know that it would reach at this stage. Mikan made a few attempts to break free but Natsume was stronger than her.

Mikan did not stop on resisting. Her tears were evident now and her cries were getting louder.

"Let go of me. Get off me. You are so disgusting, Natsume! What a jerk. What a slimy jerk. You are so proud of yourself even though you are not all that. I can't believe I did this all for you!"

Natsume hardened his grip, leaning his face close to her. He looked vulnerable and very affected at what she said. He could no longer take it and just said the words that won't come out until now. "And, I can't believe I'm willing to do anything for you."

Silence. Both of them did not know how to react on the events that happened tonight especially Mikan. After hearing that really sweet, some kind of a confession from Natsume, she could not think straight. All of a sudden, her anger subsided. She was so stupid to be calmed down with a few words. She felt Natsume's grip loosen so she took the opportunity to be freed from his hold. She stared at him secretly before glancing that the food fight they made. Mikan stood up, choosing to act like a mature adult.

"We made a mess," she said, dusting off her clothes from pasta, "The food is wasted."

Natsume stood up also. "Should I say sorry?" he asked in sarcasm. At this time, he could still be sarcastic at her.

"As if you will be sincere about it," she muttered, got alarmed when she saw Natsume walking on the direction of the stairs, "Hey, where are you going? Are you going to leave me here?"

"Idiot, I am starting to clean the place. Kaoru will be aggravated."

"Let me help you."

"You should be since you are the one who started this."

"Blah blah blah," Mikan replied in mockery, making her way to get the cleaning materials.

"Just get to work," he ordered.

After cleaning all mess from their food fight, they also washed the dishes. It was past midnight and they were still trying to fix things. Mikan was saddened by the fact that almost everything had gone to waste but she did not mention anything about it. She kept silent about it since there was no more sense to talk it to Natsume. What she kept was her secret glances at him. Every time she looked at him, she had the urge to say something but chose not to say it. This was the first time that they hurt each other physically beside the use of words. After it had ended, Mikan kind of enjoyed hurting Natsume because it made her let go of her temper which she needed badly.

They had finished arranging all the utensils used. Natsume switched off all the lights in the house. Mikan just watched him silently as she placed back the mop, rags, and the bucket they had used.

"I'm going home," Mikan announced, walking towards the door.

"Wait."

Mikan did not turn back, her hand was still on the knob. "I hope you had fun with the food fight."

"You are really stupid, do you know that?"

She turned back with an upset expression. "What? Are we still fighting over this?"

"I don't need a celebration or anything. I just want you to see the exhibit you wanted the most."

"You talk as if that exhibit was mine," Mikan said, glaring.

Natsume walked towards her and gave Mikan a hit in the head. "What do you think?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm.

An escape with Nobara was soothing in a way but seeing Mikan was another thing. Natsume did not know what to do, if he will be mad at her or just forgive her. But, due to the boringness of the day, he decided to play with her emotions a bit. He was a jerk and he was very aware of it. After that childish act he had put, can he hug her? Wouldn't it be awkward? He was not having second thoughts about this thing before but ever since Mikan's world revolved differently, it became hard. From hitting her head to hugging her. Mikan might understand since it was his birthday after all although it was past midnight. Natsume did not care anymore and just did what he wanted.

There was a resistance from Mikan's side. She pushed Natsume away when she realized that he was hugging her. Mikan did not want to break what she started. She could never be successful in forgetting about him when he was acting so different in an affectionate way since the dance and if she was going to continue letting him have his way. MIkan looked up to her best friend, seeing no reaction from Natsume. She stepped backwards, hoping he would not make a step forward. There it went again. The sweet words, the hug, the faint kisses. If she had not known any better, she would think that Natsume finally admitted to himself that he liked her. But that would never happen in a million year. Mikan already convinced herself that way. Probably, he was just becoming more open as a friend.

"Goodnight, Natsume."

That was the last thing she told him before running to get to her home.

Natsume smirked at himself, knowing that he scared her. It was just a proof that no one could be taken for granted. And to think that this was his fault made it worse. He turned around, feeling the emptiness of the house. If there was one thing that was good about this year's birthday then that would be he somehow confessed to her. He still could not decide about Nobara not after what she had done for him today.

"Idiot," Natsume muttered and this time he was not referring to Mikan but to himself.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Find Me <strong>_**by Boyce Avenue is not something I own. **

**I have changed this author's note so many times already. Now, onto my explanations and message. **

**School is school and it is taking my time more than I expected it to be. I guess this is an indication that I am studying harder? Never mind. But, I'm sorry it took long to get this story updated. I just did not have the time to continue and I got sick! I really hate it when I get sick. It affects my mood and my way of thinking. **

**Guys, I just want to thank you for the overwhelming support you have given me. I want to appear in front of you and express my gratitude but that is impossible so I'll just type what I want to say. Thank you for the praises and criticisms. Your reviews are fun to read and motivating. Thank you so much for all the PMs reminding me to update. Hehe, it really took a month. I feel so happy reading all your comments. I could not ask for more! Thank you my dearest readers! **

**So, what can you say about this chapter? **


	18. Something to Tell

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Eighteen**

_**Something to Tell**_

Anyone could tell how low the temperature was because of the thickness of the clothes people were starting to wear. Nights were longer and the days got shorter. Posters about the upcoming dance were everywhere which got everyone talking since it would be one of the memorable events before the year ends. Just like in every dance, the drill went on. Finding a date, shopping for a dress or a tux, and squeal or brag about it. The atmosphere speedily changed just as autumn went away in a glimpse. It was crazy how months passed just like and before they knew it, spring would be already here. But for now, they were going to enjoy the different activities one can only do when its winter.

Mikan got fascinated by the view outside. She had always loved winters for its cleaner wind and more quiet days. She smiled seeing Anna and Nonoko competing who'll get into the classroom first. They passed by her without even greeting her which just made her curious what could be the two girls up to. She was thinking that they must be excited for the Winter Dance. Right. The dance was very near and she had yet to know what to do on that day. She shook her head and looked up only to see Nobara. The High School building of Alice Academy was not exactly small but she never expected to run to her in school. They were glued at their places at that instant, just staring at each other. Without words, they could already get the message.

Nobara was not happy to see Mikan also and she showed it by looking at her sharply, wearing an impertinent smile. Mikan just smirked at her because of her childishness. Boys were one of the main reasons why girl fights occur and primarily girl fights looked serious but in the end it was just pointless. But, of course, Nobara and Mikan would not want a girl fight to happen between them because they had no concrete reason and it's too much of a stain on their respective reputation. They both did not own Natsume. After giving her girly smirk, Mikan gave a curt nod and resumed her walking. She did not want to deal with anyone on this fine day. There were so many things to look forward to and to enjoy so she would not waste her time with this little encounter.

She entered the room with a few classmates in but her friends were all present. The moment she took her seat, Anna went to her with a big smile on her face. Mikan thought that Anna and Nonoko's good moods were because of the thing they were excited for months. When Anna opened her mouth, Mikan knew she was right.

"Winter Dance is soooo near!"

Hotaru shook her head a little, mumbling, "Where have I heard this line before?"

Anna giggled, leaning onto the brunette's table. "Are you excited for the dance, Mikan?"

Mikan thought for a while, thinking of a way to dismiss Anna's excitement. "I'm more excited for the vacation."

"You crazy girl," Anna frowned and sat on the free seat before the brunette, "Aren't you waiting for this for a really long time?"

Yes, she used to gush about it until Natsume rejected her on the same day and nothing went right after that. Mikan simply shrugged her shoulders, tired of explaining the same thing over and over again and she knew that her friends knew the answer. "No, I'm not. I expressed my disinterest on it a long time ago."

"True but we thought you are just bluffing," Nonoko intruded to the conversation, standing beside Hotaru.

"It's not like it will be the last dance. We still have a year in high school."

Hotaru who was listening all the time, turned to face them. She was smirking again, placing that smile of hers like she knew something that they did not. "You guys have all the time to talk about a stupid dance. Have you done your Math homework?"

Good thing Math was an afternoon class and if it weren't, Mikan would be doomed. She did not need another sermon from Jinno before the winter break. She scanned her notes earlier, hoping she could solve three Math problems but by just looking it she could already tell that she needed some help and even if the last person she wanted to talk right now was Natsume, the situation left her no choice. She searched for him in their classroom, asked his classmates of his whereabouts, and even checked the office of the Arts Committee but could not find him. At a cold day like this, how could he go out? So, Mikan decided to search outdoors and knowing Natsume, he only had one outdoor hangout.

She was right. His favorite place in school was still under that tree. Through the years, that certain Sakura Tree had undergone a lot of changes. From being a loner tree behind the school to a tree with a bench under it, and then to a tree with a bench under and flowers around. Alice Academy developed this part of the school because they must have noticed that all they care about was the front part until three years ago. Mikan started walking, making sure her footsteps were light as possible. She stood behind, having thoughts of whether it would be okay now to talk to him after that night. It was sad to think that this had become their current situation. It was like they needed each other's permission just to talk, or maybe that was just her.

"Boo!"

"Are you expecting me to be surprised?" His cold tone came out the same.

Mikan sat beside him, her Math notebook and pen safe in her both hands. "No. But I had hoped."

"Words."

"What's wrong with that?"

"There is nothing wrong about it. I'm just bad at it."

That was unexpected coming from Natsume. He was sitting there, pretending to read a book but he was actually thinking about words and his ability to speak it. It looked like Natsume did some soul searching which was funny because Mikan never remembered a moment that indicated that he cared to the things he was good or bad with. She glanced at him and noted that he was wearing a jacket she had never seen before. Mikan wanted to know why he was reading a book in this cold condition or if he could concentrate at all but she did not ask anything about it because in less than an hour and a half, Math will commence.

"Are you admitting your own flaw?" That's what she asked instead because she thought it was more important than the mere question in her mind.

Natsume finally faced her but with a smirk. "Or maybe not. See? I got you by surprised by simply saying that."

"Stop playing with me."

"Why are you here? I thought you are going to avoid me again for a week."

So that was her routine. Mikan giggled after realizing that. It was silence after that and the awkwardness of it motivated Mikan to say something. "Just trying to be unpredictable." But they both knew that she was lying since she was never conscious about things related to her attitude so basically it was Natsume's task to remind what she was doing right and doing wrong. Mikan wanted him to talk to her on what she was doing right and wrong. She missed his talking and voice. The way he would chat with her after a Movie Night, or after a run in a beach.

"You need something?" he asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.

Mikan laughed as a reaction, pushing him by the shoulders afterwards. "Stupid, Natsume. Why would you think like that?"

"What is it?" he asked, unaffected by her playful act.

"Weeeell, I have a Math assignment that I can't answer!" She revealed, finally, with both hands clasped to show that she was pleading him to help her.

"Why should I help you?" he spat.

"Aren't we the bestest of friends in the whole Milky Way Galaxy?"

He stared at her for a couple of seconds before saying, "Try next time."

"Natsume, please!" she wailed, "Jinno is giving me a hard time again and I just can't afford to fail in this assignment."

He remembered the library work she had to do because of her stupid bravery. She was Math this, Math that, and it was making his ears bleed. If not for Math, she would not approach him and that made him feel a little bad. But even if the sunny days turn cold and the winter becomes spring, he could not just say no to her in times of difficulty. Now, that was just great. She was sales talking him for an assignment, wailing about a simple task that was intended to be done at home, and putting an effort to find him.

"Seriously, why are you so slow in Math?"

"Sorry for being so slow in Math," she said in sarcasm, "I didn't know it could be that easy."

He rolled her eyes, grabbing the notebook and pen on her hands. "Just shut up and give me that."

"Thank you so much."

Mikan watched him scribble numbers, variables, and lines on the back part of her notebook. She was the lucky one, not Natsume. She was the lucky one to have him as her friend and as the boy she loved the most. Natsume might be disappointed with her in a lot of ways like how could she be so stupid, talentless, with no Math skill or, worst, any skill. She was a disaster. No, she needed to stop thinking or she might just cry in front of him. It's just that he was so perfect and she was not.

"Can't you call this abuse? You only act cute when you need something."

"Never thought that I will ever hear the word 'cute' from your mouth," she said, smiling.

Natsume seemed to realize what he just did and said, "Shut up."

"I'll just pretend that you did not say anything and that you are not feeling embarrassed."

"Shut up."

"Blah blah blah."

He was irritated at her constant teasing causing him to slap the notebook at her forehead. "Why don't you answer your own homework?" he challenged her.

"What? I was just joking! I'm sorry. It's my own fault. Never will I do it again."

"Just shut up will you?"

Her mouth was zipped after that and saw Natsume's lips curved a little that caused her to cheer inwardly for an achievement. She expected herself to act unnatural in front of him but when she saw he was so composed and the same, she just acted natural too. The silent awkwardness before was all gone now. Maybe no one was talking but it didn't feel uncomfortable at all and in fact they were both enjoying it. They must have looked so ideal right now. Him answering her homework and her watching nature. The stupid one and the genius lad. She wondered if she would work twice as hard, could she finally understand Math? She might as well try it.

"Anyway, how did you do it?"

"Explanation is for later."

"Just explain while you answer."

"Stop being so demanding."

From the window on the second floor of the Administration Building, the two looked so at peace and happy. Nobara was busy stacking the files on the Student Affairs' room while Yura was busy watching the lovely tandem of Mikan and Natsume. She was just silently and secretly watching, waiting for the right time to tell this to Nobara. Savoring the taste of her lollipop, Nobara felt like watching a movie from afar.

"Am I seeing real? You said that Natsume Hyuuga made a great escape with you."

Nobara discontinued stacking files, her hand froze for a moment there. "What do you mean?"

"They're closer than ever?" she informed, pointing at the window.

She was about to believe Yura but when she heard that line, she lost interest and thought this was one of Yura's playtime. "Stop putting things in my head, Yura."

"How many times have I heard you say that and did I ever listen?" Yura fired back.

"I'm going."

"Nobara, is it so hard to make sure?"

"What are you talking about?" Nobara asked with tiredness evident in her voice, proving that she was sick of the same conversation and if fate would have it, she might as well get rid of the topic. "I will see Rei, right? Why are you still messing my mind?"

Yura wanted to match her friend's stubborn attitude. If Noabra was going to stand up with her beliefs, then she will stand up as well in making her realize that Natsume did not love her and that the boy had feelings for his own best friend. "Because I can already tell what can happen."

"Don't make me laugh."

"Just ask him what he really feels, Nobara. Because from what I see, your boy is not so sure anymore."

"They are best friends for goodness sake," Nobara insisted.

"Then tell me I'm wrong," Yura challenged, "Come on, say it."

One way of showing you are scared was when you knew in your mind what's the real thing but your heart could not admit it. Because if you will finally admit it, this might embarrass you or hurt you in more ways you could imagine. They say that your world breaks when you get heartbroken and this was plain exaggeration if anyone who had no experience with love heard of it. For Yura, this thing was just light and meaningless that was why she could just tease about it as long as she wanted without being sensitive to Nobara's feelings. On the other hand, Nobara was getting sick of her.

Nobara wanted to raise her voice, yell at her, and just make her stop in the most effective way she could think of. It was more than enough that she herself doubted Natsume's real intention, but Yura just had to be so interested about her and Natsume that she thought it was alright to say anything. She was clenching her fist, looking down with her hair covering her face that Yura was unable to see her expression. If only Yura could know that she was fuming with anger, she might just stutter. It was just that Nobara did not need to hear what she did not want to admit to herself. Natsume did not love her. But she already loved him and she already thought of a way to make Natsume hers. She was about to do something cruel and unjust but she was hoping that one day, Natsume will learn to forgive her.

She won't tell Yura a thing or else her friend just might intrude to her plan. The gray-haired girl turned her back, ready to leave. When she started walking, Yura called out her name but ignored it. The talk with Rei needed to happen soon so that she could put an end to everything and then Rei and Yura would not be bothering her anymore. All she needed now was for the Winter Dance to come as sooner as possible which was a few hours from now. She would make the move and corner Natsume. What was he thinking? Nobara stopped walking when she realized she was already crying. She was beginning to think ill of her friend and was about to do something that was not right. When did she become so desperate and mean? All this was coming from her. So unbelievable.

"Seriously? Can't she tell that her boy is in love with someone else?" Maybe what was Yura trying to say. And, yes, she thought of the same thing. Nobara could tell that Natsume was in love with Mikan but she did not want to fully believe in that because of her flickering hope that Natsume impacted on her through the years.

* * *

><p>"Mikan?" Koko called, seeing the brunette comfortable sitting on the grass with back on the edge of the bench, "There you are."<p>

"Koko! Why are you looking for me?" She immediately stood up, dusting off her uniform.

Koko just gave her a look that reminded her of the task given to them to submit their report for this semester. They were supposed to give it personally because they had to sign the proof that they submitted on time. Before, it was only officers of a certain committee or club who were doing the reports but since it had been noticeable that the members sometimes were doing a lot more, they were required to submit one also. The Publicity Committee wanted the report as early as today to avoid submitting it on the middle of the break because after the dance, everyone and everything in school was on break also.

Mikan remembered what Koko was just expressing to her. "Oh, wait." She turned around to get her notebook from Natsume whose reflexes were as fast as a leopard because before she could get a hold of it, he already swayed it to a different direction.

"What? You're just gonna get it like that?"

Mikan rolled her arms together, glaring at him. "What do you expect? Should I beg you before you give that back?"

"Don't talk proud," Natsume said, standing up, not even bothering to acknowledge Koko's presence.

"Fine. Thank you for answering my homework. Since you said it yourself that explanations are for later, explain it to me later, okay?" She cleared and snatched the notebook fast. When she already had it in her hand, she grinned in satisfaction. Even if she wanted to chat with Natsume, she could not do that now because after submitting the report, she barely had time for Math class. Oh well, she could just approach him when dismissal time comes.

"Stupid girl. That's why it's called homework. You should do it at home." Natsume slung his bag also, dusting it off from withered leaves and grass. "Who said I would explain this to you?" he irritably said and began his exit.

"Why are you so annoyed all of a sudden?" Mikan asked.

"Go figure it out yourself." Was the last thing he said before being completely out of sight.

Mikan shook her head, saying, "Mood swings. Hate it."

It bothered Koko that his friend showed that kind of attitude in front of him. Sure it was normal for Natsume to act that way but to him? As if he was jealous that Mikan's attention was divided. That was a good sign that he was showing reactions but what really worried Koko was his own feelings about this. It was like it was wrong to be close to Mikan because Natsume already have that slot filled. There was something inside Koko that wanted to fill that spot. That certain space in Mikan's life wherein he could be her savior, her advisor, her friend or maybe more than that. He needed to have a man-to-man talk with Natsume and it should happen sooner.

"Let's go?" Koko asked, walking after Mikan.

* * *

><p>Earlier, Mikan did her best to rewrite Natsume's answer as fast as she can and when she got a perfect score Jinno could not believe it, in fact, no one could believe it. Although that was the case, no one complained because they all knew Mikan's capability in which the brunette was not so happy about. She won't ask for Natsume's help next time because she decided to work on her own so that there would be no guilt. School was not yet finish for her because they needed to come back to their office for cleaning duties. Koko was mopping the floor while she was absentmindedly cleaning the whiteboard. Everybody must have accepted the fact that there would be no Mikan without Natsume but it was not the same on Natsume's case because there could be a Natsume without Mikan.<p>

Her hold on the rag tightened and getting back her full consciousness, she looked at Koko who was nearly finished. "Koko, did something happen to Natsume?" She hoped he had the answer or at least give her an idea because right now she had no clue.

"Nothing, why?"

"He is showing signs of liking me," she admitted without feeling embarrassed because she could tell anything to Koko, "I'm sorry. That was stupid for me to say since I have no proof."

"What makes you say that?" Koko asked in interest. The topic took his interest… a lot.

Mikan frowned, sitting on the closer chair to Koko. Their office was smaller than any other committee offices in the school and sure they had lesser paper works but some of the unused things of other committee were stored here that it was making the office look smaller, untidy, and with no remaining space at all that was why cleaning duties were immensely performed for the past week, hoping to get rid of the unnecessary things in the room.

"Maybe it is just my imagination but he seems to be focusing more on me," she stated her observation.

Koko stopped what he was doing, sitting on top of the table near Mikan. "Shouldn't you be happy?"

"I don't know," Mikan said, shrugging her shoulders, "I have a great feeling that in the end, the loser will be me."

This should be the perfect timing to put up his advisor role on Mikan's life but he was lost on what to say to her. Koko did not know the right thing to say because he might hurt her or hurt himself. Suddenly, the rooms felt crowded than ever. He wanted to say that there a lot more deserving boys out there who would be with her no matter what but he all got chickened out before he could blurt a single word. "Don't lose your faith on him, Mikan." After saying that, he regretted it but he could not take back those words now.

Mikan already predicted he would say something like that due to the good friend he was to Natsume but not even Koko's words felt right at this moment. "That's not a very good idea, Koko. He can disregard me anytime but I would not do that because I simply can't."

"You still love him." There's bitterness in his tone and sadness and the feeling of time lost.

"It won't be gone that quick. It's a feeling and not some food with an expiration date."

Right, he should have known. Talking like this with Mikan made him feel so close to her. Well, they had two similarities namely Natsume and Publicity Committee. "Can I ask something?" he trailed, trying to change the topic that was going on since he could remember.

"Go ahead."

This was it. The time to ask her. He released his hold of the mop and stood up, opened his mouth but no words came out and even if he was able to say something, he would just stammer. He taught Natsume to not to be so coward and yet he was not able to say something the words he wanted to say now. No wonder why there were so many opportunities wasted for Mikan and Natsume, it was because one person was not able to admit it to himself.

"Forget about it," Koko said dejectedly.

Mikan nodded, feeling sad that Koko did not express his feeling again. "Time is gold," she said.

"What?"

"If you want to say something now, say it. There's nothing wrong about that."

"What if there is?" Koko asked.

Mikan smiled, showing that it's alright. "Then face the consequences."

Koko smiled in disappointment and said, "Tough."

Mikan stood up, putting the rags and the mop to its proper places. She grabbed the keys and both of their bags, making her way to Koko and grabbed his hand, dragging him in the process. She would just give Koko a piece of advice. After all, Koko shared his wise side several times. "It's already given that life is easy, life is hard."

"Never heard of that," Koko commented in giggles.

The brunette equaled his laugh and said, "Now you do."

* * *

><p>He was sitting with his one knee up, hand resting on it. The color of the sunset illuminating his pose and he looked more attractive than ever by just looking at that window. Nobara knocked that made him turn his head to her. When she smiled at him, he just looked the same. She walked towards him in an unusual manner, her fingers playing with each other, her head slightly down, and her breathing was irregular. Her long hair was half covering her face that made her feel less exposed but not less nervous. The drumming in her chest seemed to get her attention the most but when Natsume looked at her with his flaming red eyes, her desire to be with him grew.<p>

"Can we talk?" she started.

"Sure."

She had been silent for a while, could not even believe herself that a girl will be asking this sort of thing. Natsume must have noticed her nervousness because she heard him say, "What's up?"

"Just making sure that we are still going to the dance together," she said, smiling but in heart she was sad.

"Yes. Any problem about that?"

Her eyes slightly widened by hearing that. Natsume looked so sure and the same. He was sticking up to his word and she should have known that. Her breathing became regular and effortless again. She was worrying for nothing. Now, all she had to do was to confront him about his real intention and then everything that she was worrying about will be gone and she could stop being the bad guy.

"Nothing," she answered.

"Okay."

"Natsume, I'm starting to notice something."

He knew what she was talking about but he did not say anything and just wanted her to continue. Honestly, he wanted to hear it, to hear Nobara's sentiment about his not so consistent emotion. Natsume was not afraid to hear what Nobara had to say because in order to be brave, he just had to listen someone announce his own flaw and he knew Nobara was the first one who'll do it. He had never seen someone so beautiful and delicate. Nobara had everything he would want for a girl. She stood there convincing herself that he was still the same but he was not. Natsume did not deserve her or even Mikan. He needed to fix himself and his family before he ventures love.

It was cold and the clouds were thick but the sun was still able to emit the light even though it was just a shadow compared to normal days. In Nobara's eyes, he could see questions and fears. Maybe this was the right time to end it all and the Winter Dance would be the last straw. He would act harsh, cruel, mean, insensitive, and aggressive just to end everything.

"Don't make this so complicated. If you have something to say to me, say it to me now. Or else I would be telling you something that can change your life," Nobara said breathlessly, "I am not stupid. But I want to trust your words to me before. The words that you like me, that I'm fun to be with, that I can be the one."

"What if it changed?" Natsume asked, "What will you do?"

"What do you think I'm capable of?" was Nobara's baffling answer.

* * *

><p>Ruka saw Nobara leaving the classroom looking disappointed and hurt so immediately Ruka concluded that Natsume was also in the same room. Just right in time because Ruka was up for some teasing and serious talk right now. He did not have the chance since the exhibit and judging by Nobara's exit, Natsume needed a friend right now. He checked first if Natsume was still in there and gladly saw him. He stepped into the room but his presence remained unnoticeable until he talked.<p>

"Is something bothering the mighty Natsume Hyuuga?"

"Ruka."

Ruka spread his arms, looking amused. "Ruka? Not shut up? Not go away?"

Natsume was not in the mood for his silly games, rolled his eyes, but said, "Shut up and get lost." In the end, he always got into his silly games.

"Did you and Mikan made up after that incident on your birthday?" he asked, also taking a seat on the free space before the window.

"Kinda."

"What kind of answer is that?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"When did you become like that? I always remember you opening up every problem you have. I would always be one of your best pals, Natsume."

"What can you tell me now?" Natsume asked, slightly annoyed.

Ruka tapped his friend's shoulder. "We are young. Don't think about it too much."

Natsume glared at him for his nonsense answer, tapping his shoulder back but in a heavier manner making Ruka wince. "Thanks for the help, man."

"No, I'm just joking." He said, taking back his words and if his face was all smiles before, it turned to a serious one. Now, he was giving the talk. "If you are going to ask me about your problem, I'll ask myself. What is the right thing to do, to say? When is the right time? Who are the persons that will be involved? Why am I doing this in the first place? Because, Natsume, the people around you can only help but the real solution is with you. We can advise, do something but that all will be coming from you. Surely, there is a more right thing to do. I know you what it is. I bet you already figured it out from the very start so the only thing left to do is put it in action."

"Thanks, Ruka."

"You're welcome."

* * *

><p>Mikan just finished grabbing her books from her locker since she would like to do some review and reading while on vacation. Koko helped her in carrying some. It was time to go home. The school cafeteria staff was busy tidying things up because they'll meet their lovely canteen again next year, the same goes with the library, and to the faculty room. A lot of holidays will be coming so that meant a lot of things to look forward to. Mikan gave back to Koko the key of the PubCom office and they started to walk in silence. The dusty grounds of Alice Academy became damp due to the weather and the green surroundings were all brown and soon will be covered in snow.<p>

"Should we go together?"

"Where?"

"In the Winter Dance."

He rendered her speechless. "Oh," she muttered. Mikan did not expect to have an invitation from Koko, asking her to be his date. She thought he already had someone to go to because she never saw him ask somebody or even heard from him that he was going to ask someone. When he was about to say something earlier and had second thoughts about it, this was what he was trying to say. She had no idea it would be something like this. She could have prepared herself.

"Everybody's talking about it," Koko described.

"Of course. It's the last event of the school before going on break but it doesn't sound appealing to me anymore." She was trying to say that she lost interest of it a long time ago to the point that it was more than okay for her not to go.

"So, should we go together?" Koko asked again.

Mikan thought about it and already predicted that with Koko, she'll definitely have a good time. Besides, she would be identified as a kill joy if she won't go, add to that, she won't hear the end of it from Anna and Nonoko. She could just lie about an excuse and be safe but Koko put an effort to ask her and she would not want to let him down on his first courageous act.

"Sure."

Koko smiled, cheering in her agreement. "Great. We will go together with Ruka, Hotaru, Nonoko, and Anna."

"What?" Mikan asked, confused because she thought he was asking her to be his date.

"We all are fiends and dateless," he explained.

So, he was not asking her at all. She giggled, massaging her forehead for jumping into conclusion in a split second. They were all friends and dateless, that was a bad image. She even thought that Anna and Nonoko might be going with their respective dates considering how excited they were for the dance. At least, Mikan knew she was not alone with the dateless thing and there was nothing wrong hanging out with friends on that one dance. It was no big deal, they could have fun without feeling awkward and could stop being so careful.

"That sounded pathetic," she commented.

"Not, it's not. We are going to have lots of fun. More fun than being stuck with somebody for the whole dance which is meant for socialization."

"You have a nice point of view about Winter Dance."

"Was it weird?" Koko asked, scratching his chin.

"No, you're just being Koko."

"Which is a good or a bad thing?"

"A very good thing," she answered in full honesty.

"Thanks, Mikan. You're the best."

Mikan told him about at one point she thought he was asking her to be his date but it turned to be not and they just laughed about it. Koko cracked some jokes in which she giggled to and she did the same. It was the longest walk just to get outside the school. They did some stop over to make fun of a tree and the story behind it. They talked about the most popular boys and girls in school and how cliché some of them were. Koko wished he was good at sports while Mikan bragged about being great at it. Even about the ghost stories in schools belonged to their topics. During winter, it was hard to travel around so Koko would just probably stay at home while on break and Mikan would be doing the same. They both agreed that summer was the perfect opportunity.

Their funny conversation ended when Mikan saw Natsume waiting for her at the gate. Right, the explanation, she remembered.

"Were you waiting for me?" she asked.

"What do you think?" he answered with a smirk.

They both said their goodbyes to Koko. When they were left alone, Mikan asked him to take a walk on the opposite direction meaning they won't go home yet. She told him about the homework and the looks she received on class but brushed off the topic by saying she was used to it and she wanted to learn. Mikan even asked him to tutor her during break and after a few persuasions, he agreed. She also asked about his father who was still out for almost a month. If no one from the Hyuugas would do something, this will become permanent. Mikan also persuaded him to have the initiative to find his father because Kaoru would be too emotional and Aoi was too busy to care.

He asked about the development with her father and he answered with nothing because there was really none. Still, she had not mention about the pending summer vacation. They were updating again each other with their lives, like rushing just to be intact with the information.

"Should we talk about something?" Mikan began.

"About what?"

"Don't do this, Natsume."

"What?"

"After the team building, you started acting strange which greatly bothers me." It really bothered her that she was able to say this thing because she should be happy that he was showing signs of affections and not the other way around. "Which is it, Natsume? My head is going to explode because you are being so unpredictable."

"So, you did notice."

Mikan frowned because he knew all along. Well, what did she expect, that he won't know? Natsume was a smart ass that did not want to show it. He was secretive but all-knowing. The street might not be the most romantic place to profess one's love but most of the confessions were done on the streets. She would say the words again and will hear his answer. If the answer he would give her was the same like years ago, then she needed to rethink but if there would be a different answer, she needed to go on. The street was almost empty so it was safe to talk about personal things while they were walking. She let him walk a few steps in advance because she decided to watch him from behind.

His walk alone was attractive enough for the girls to swoon at him. To be this close with him was an opportunity other girls would not reject. There were differences between her and the other girls but that also had one similarity: The want to grab the opportunity.

"I love you," she said it loud and clear.

"What?" Natsume asked, turning around.

"Can you say it back to me now? If you can, then everything will be put in its proper place." She was the girl and she was giving him the chance to be his. Another day of confession to Mikan was also another day of rejection. She had a list of it, actually. Kept on scribbling down the dates so that she won't forget and the words Natsume threw at her. Mikan did not want to forget a single heartbreak from him. The funny thing was if she would be with someone other than Natsume, she could not see herself keeping notes about the heartache, only and always will with Natsume.

The wind blew for about three times and yet he had not said a word. Mikan stepped back, nodding as if she already understood the whole thing. "I see. You can't. And I know why."

"Don't give me that look," Natsume said.

She glanced at her side before turning to look at him and then pushed him hard. There was no struggle on Natsume's part. This had always been the hardest part. There was nothing she could get from Natsume but silence. He could say that he does not feel the same way for goodness's sake but no, he just had to be silent. It was confusing and painful because he had the guts to think that he could take her for granted. "You can never say it because you never felt it. What am I doing? I'm just hurting myself."

A run to escape. She thought she almost succeeded after running a few steps but Natsume grabbed her arm, spinning her around, and telling her, "You're wrong."

"Oh, do you love me too?" she fired back with sarcasm in her voice.

"What if there's a different reason? What if I can prove you wrong?"

"Then do so," she dared.

Natsume released her, confidently saying, "Be prepared for it then."

"Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for it so long."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>I was waiting for the right time to write this chapter because I have been lacking of motivation for the past month until the day I decided to continue writing this one. I'm so sorry I was taking so long updating CY but I will not be satisfied unless I write a chapter with inspiration. I am having a 6-day vacation now and I am glad to havethis long weekend because I am able to update. There's a lot coming for Chasing You. I had it all planned but that's it, just a plan. I have yet to write it but I will start really soon. Thank you for the wait. <strong>

**Thank you so much for the 196 Favs and for the 209 Follows. I didn't think Chasing You can reach this point. **

**What can you say about this chapter? **


	19. Snows and Embers

**A/N: **I did find my motivation and it's from your reviews, Kimi Ni Todoke, Another, and Owl City. So much happened as I was writing this chapter and I am thankful for everything.

Thank you so much for the inspiring reviews!

Hey, give way, cliché chapter is on the way. Tell me your thoughts about it after reading. You might be thinking to kill me after reading but this chapter is very essential for the summary dialogue to take place.

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Nineteen **

_**Snows and Embers**_

"_Tears don't mean you're losing. Everybody's bruising."_

The white, sparkly dress before her looked so pure like it was not fit for her. It was crazy because she swore that she fitted on it perfectly weeks ago but now she could no longer say for sure if the dress was for her. Nobara sighed, her head down, and her left hand gripped on the dress. Today was the most awaited dance of the year and she could not categorize if she was excited or not. But, she could be. Her date was Natsume so it would be perfect with nothing to worry about. It was just a dance. There would be a lot more memorable events than this Winter Dance. Today would be pure perfection even though she woke up even before the sun rose after staying late last night because of too much thinking. After waking up, she could not get back to sleep because she was thinking again.

She stood up from the bed, facing the mirror and asking herself if she was happy. Yes, she could be. The only reason why people felt unhappiness because they regret the things they did but if they only discovered the greatness on it, then nothing would go wrong at all. Nobara repeatedly told herself that she deserved to be with Natsume and kept on boosting her confidence. She did not expect Natsume to be so important to her to the point that even if Natsume was unsure of her, she was still running after him. Like Mikan. Seemed like Natsume wanted his girls to really chase after him. What a jerk. He deserved some slap, push, and beating for making girls cry including her. He was too conceited that he thought girls would not leave him. But behind his cold attitude and personality, there was always a lovable side of him.

Nobara heard her name chanted repeatedly by her siblings downstairs. Self-reflection could really take a lot of time considering how unconscious she was that two hours had passed after she woke up. Of course classes were out today because of the dance so she had all the time to have breakfast with them. Her brother was already home because their university days for the year were over already y. Their family was a happy one with everyone making each other proud. Her win in the Math Competition landed her a scholarship and her parents couldn't be more proud. It took years before she gained their trust on her again. The wrong decision she had once made was something her parents found hard to forget. That incident when she was too in love to care. Too in loved with Rei.

"Tonight's the dance," she informed with a smile.

The rest of the family was quiet at first, looking at each other as if asking who should talk first. The looks on her parents' faces were still there but it was not as bad as before. She glanced at her brother with a hopeful expression, expecting him to react and maybe her parents could follow.

"That's great. Going out with someone, huh?" he teased her, receiving a pinch from their mother and wincing in surprise, "What? She looks excited."

Nobara smiled, happy that somehow her brother could tell what she could not tell to herself. So, she looked excited, that must be an indication that she really was in the category of the excited kids for the Winter Dance. She tried her best to be independent in all these years for her parents to learn that she could be reliable too and not only her brother. She did well in almost everything and balanced study with personal life. She was aching to tell them that she had already learned her lesson and that she was a stronger person now, a lot more knowledgeable and stronger.

"Natsume's my date."

Her father refrained from eating, looking at her in worry. "Natsume?"

Nobara nodded, still smiling to show them that she was fine and will be okay. "Yes, Natsume. Come on, Dad. I told you about him a long time ago but you weren't just listening."

He father was speechless so it was her mother who continued the talking. "You know how we felt about boys being associated with you."

"Stop talking like they're some disease. Besides, Natsume is an entirely different person from him."

Because Rei was a cheater in many ways. He lied to her on the very first time they met and even on the day they separated ways. The time she had spent with him at such a young age was all a lie. His words, feelings, apology, regret, promises, smile were all lies. The memory of him was just a big lie. She moved on already and it was because of Natsume. Yes, because of him. That's why she could not just let the person who changed her go just like that.

"Is he making you happy?" her father asked.

"More than anyone else," she answered in a firm voice.

Her father nodded, looked at her mother and with no words at all they seemed to understand each other. He looked back to her with a smile, saying, "Then, I guess we don't have to worry."

Nobara smiled after hearing that. One of her worries was gone now. That was not so hard and for the first time in years she felt that she was finally being open and honest to them again. She would never be the idiot again and will let anyone take her down on such state. It was nice that they could talk about something crucial even if the day had just started. Next year will be different. Instead of talking about boys and grades with her family, they would talk about college and a new life outside the comfort zone. Just like her brother who had significant changes after being away. She inwardly laughed. Thinking about the future was something she always does that made her feel mature.

She helped her Mom with the dishes and they had a little girl talk about Natsume. Nobara was secretive about it at first but eventually talked. She enjoyed the girl talk with her Mom, felt like it made them closer. After the dishes, she also helped in the garden work in which his father loved the most. No wonder why they had a nice garden of flowers and plants at the side of their house which their neighbors admired. Nobara also took the chance to talk to her father about the scholarship and what to do about it. They already had an agreement and Nobara felt fine with it.

"It's been so long since you actually bonded with them," her brother commented who just sat beside her.

Nobara smiled indifferently because it was completely true. "You can't say that," she said, denying it.

"I can."

"You are barely here so you can't say that," she explained.

Her brother nodded, stretching his arms and legs. He stood up after that, ready to help their father. "Actually, you don't need to be with a person everyday just to say things like that." He made his point already and hoped it would reach her.

Nobara watched his older brother go to their father. He was right. Absolutely right.

* * *

><p>"You're late!" Anna and Nonoko simultaneously yelled at the brunette.<p>

Mikan was surprised at the loudness of their voices, making her jump the moment she stepped into Hotaru's room. "I know, I know. And I'm sorry." Her explanation was left to be ignored though as they were too busy making themselves beautiful.

The brunette placed her bag on the nearest table before jumping onto the bed. Nonoko was busy brushing up Anna's hair while Hotaru was on the couch trying to figure out what perfect shade of eye shadow she would use. Mikan cheered inside because it was obvious that she was not the only person excited for the dance tonight, even Hotaru was. Hotaru might not admit in a million years but Mikan could tell it very well. There was still enough time to prepare, three hours to be exact. But knowing her friends, three hours were not adequate to be 'beautiful enough'. Anna and Nonoko always had expanded ideas about beauty and fashion, expanded in a sense that they knew too much.

Hotaru's room suited her personally well. It was neat, simple, but not plain. Everything was arranged to its proper place and everything she needed was in her room including the mini fridge. Hotaru's parents, even with their busy jobs, always made time to be with their only child. Maybe that was why Hotaru had never had a problem growing up and even if she had, she had overcome it by her own. Right, Hotaru was super independent. She was also smart, reliable, quiet but always talked with sense, and she hardly does wrong. In other words, she was perfection. Although she knew that she was near perfect, she remained humble and was always there for her. Hotaru had always tolerated her stupidity. Mikan was glad, she found another reason to smile.

"Koko said we'll have a group date," Mikan said the obvious.

Nonoko, who was curling Anna's hair, frowned at what she said. "Apparently," she murmured with a hint of disappointment.

Mikan tapped Nonoko's shoulder with a teasing and assuring smile. "There's nothing to be sad about, Nonoko." Her grin was so wide that Nonoko found it weird.

The blue-haired girl sighed. "I know. We'll have fun, right?" She tried convincing herself as she looked at her friends' reactions and they all seemed to think of the same thing. Nonoko was not entirely sad about the fact that she ended up with her friends because, well, they were her friends so there was a guarantee that tonight was going to be fun somehow but it would be entirely different and magical if somebody had actually asked her especially on how obvious she was in terms of excitement for the dance. The same was applicable to Anna but on the brighter side she had Yuu.

"We will," Mikan assured for the second time.

Anna, on the other hand, was busy texting. Her hands never left her phone since she arrived. Little did she know that Nonoko was suspecting her of having a mutual understanding with Yuu Tobita because they were constantly texting each other since last month. "Guys, Yuu is added to the group." Anna said, still looking at her phone.

Hotaru paused what she was doing. "Speaking of him, I at least thought that he'll ask you."

Anna simply shrugged the idea off. "Nah. I didn't get my hopes up considering how shy he is." In reality, she did really hope he would find the courage to ask her but sadly he didn't. Anna was okay with it though because she would still have next year to be with someone at the Winter Dance.

"You should've asked him," Hotaru suggested.

Nonoko snorted and then laughed at the idea. Even if the world was so modern now, boy should always have the task to ask a girl out and not the other way around. "What? That's insane, Hotaru."

"Mikan did that," she reminded.

It got Nonoko off-guard, thinking that she offended Mikan with her insensitive words. She stared at Mikan carefully, hoping that she was not upset. She should not have laughed or even snorted. For a second there, Nonoko forgot what Mikan's situation was. She coughed, her eyes were focusing everywhere. "It was different. Natsume is her best friend." She reasoned out and hoped it was enough.

Hotaru smirked at her simply. "I don't see why not," she said as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Then can you ask Ruka?" Nonoko asked all of a sudden, taking revenge on her friend.

Hotaru hated on how the topic suddenly became diverted to her. Her lips frowned, the smirk was gone now, and she continued doing her own make-up. "When hell freezes," she answered and she meant it really. Her pride and reputation was too unreachable to do something like that. And what's up with Ruka?

"She will never admit it," Anna mumbled.

Mikan found the topic interesting as shown in her smile. "Hotaru, do you have a crush on Ruka?" she asked that got Hotaru frowning even more. The brunette laughed at Hotaru's reaction because the topic of Ruka could really make her speechless. Where had she been? She was not even aware that Anna and Nonoko were ganging up on Hotaru with Ruka.

"I barely think of him so how can you come up with that conclusion, Mikan?" retorted Hotaru.

"Thought so," Mikan said, shrugging.

"Her pride is the wall," Anna mumbled again.

Mikan nodded, amazed at Anna's point. "Pride, huh?" she said as if it was really the reason.

Hotaru stood up, abandoning the make-up, and went to Mikan. "So, can we finally start on your hair, Mikan?" she asked as she dragged Mikan towards the chair by her hair. The brunette winced in pain while the other two got scared on how violent Hotaru could be. Their friendship was really wonderful. They could joke all around, pretend like they were having a heated conversation but they knew inside that they were all just having fun with each other's company. That an individual's story was something everyone could relate to.

Like the fact that even if Hotaru was different with the rest of the girls, she was still good friends with them because she was the 'advice' and 'guidance' they needed. Anna and Nonoko made the group more involved in many things because of their natural ability to be involved in other groups as well. Mikan was the idiot one, the loud one, the cheerful one also and she complemented her other three friends. All in all they made up for each other's lack and that's what friends were really for. So, even though Mikan was hurting from Hotaru's act of grabbing her hair, she could not help but laugh at her situation. It was so _them_. Today was a really good day. It could be one of the best and Mikan hoped for the best.

She will hope for the best forever.

Mikan giggled quietly and turned to Hotaru. "Oh, sure! That's why I'm here."

After quite some time, they finally reached the final touches. All they need to do was get out of the room now hence Hotaru was impatiently waiting before the door. She didn't want to be late for the dance because it'll just grab everyone's attention and that was the last thing she needed. If somebody would ask her, she wouldn't mind going on that dance earlier than the supposed-to-be call time.

"Do you think we'll have a good time?" Anna asked, just rephrasing what Nonoko asked earlier.

Mikan finished just finished putting the pair of earring Yuka bought for her as it was an unknown fact that Yuka had been more excited than her for this Winter Dance. She nodded, checking if she was all set in front of the mirror. "I guarantee that. We always do."

"I heard the drink is going to be spiked," Nonoko blurted while having a hard time slipping her stilettos.

Mikan pouted in disbelief. "I can't believe you even care to that kind of gossip, Nonoko."

"Well, it's important!" Nonoko defended as she succeeded in wearing the shoes.

"Are you three not done yet?" Hotaru called out.

Anna finally grabbed her purse and gave her hair the finishing touch before answering Hotaru. She looked at the time and they were already late. "Hardly but we're getting there."

Mikan refreshed her lips with a balm, practicing her smile in the mirror. Hotaru began to wonder what put Mikan in such a good mood that even after Nonoko said such things, she did not even flinch on it. Something was going to happen tonight and Hotaru already had a clue on what could be it because knowing Natsume Hyuuga, he does things on very significant days. Crossing her arms, watching the actions of Mikan Sakura she could tell without a doubt that her friend was putting an effort again. So far, Hotaru was doing her part well. She refrained from saying bad things about Natsume and actually had been silent on any topic about him. She was working undercover and tonight her work will have its result.

Hotaru felt like uncovering what Mikan was looking forward to. "You seem excited, Mikan."

Mikan blushed, denying it. "I do not."

"Yes, you do."

"What's up?" Anna asked as she walked near Hotaru.

Mikan turned around, facing them already. "Something just changed my mind from being one of the kids who are not excited for the dance to being one," she answered nonchalantly.

"Hyuuga has something to do with this."

The brunette gaze was directed to Hotaru. She bit her lip, unsure of what to say. She tried to deny it but Hotaru really had the eye for these things. "Not everything is… about him." She answered with her firmest voice of the night.

"You can't even answer straight," Hotaru scoffed.

"Mikan! What is going on?" Nonoko asked like there was an emergency.

"Nothing. I swear. I know nothing."

"Liar."

Mikan's eyebrows twitched, surprised that Nonoko was judging her. "Am not," she defended.

"Stop it. She's probably telling the truth because knowing Hyuuga, he never says anything so we can't even guess if he succeeded or not."

Anna agreed on Hotaru, looking back at Mikan. "Basing on your smile, you had a feeling that it will be good."

"I hope so. Natsume should not screw this."

"I never thought you'll say that," Anna sounded amazed.

"It's just that I have a strong feeling that… you know… after all… after everything… he also… might love me."

"Someone tell me that this is true now," Nonoko said in a desperate tone and deep inside she was excited for Mikan. Maybe this really was the night that this chase would end. Finally. They could all live in peace and categorize Mikan and Natsume's case as close.

Mikan covered her face, embarrassed at the fact that her face was already red because of the ideas her friends were putting in her head. "Stop it, you guys. Just wish for the best."

Anna placed a hand on Mikan's shoulder, wearing a serious look. "Remember that if something bad happens, we are here. Forever and always."

Mikan was overwhelmed by their support, doing her best not to cry. Today was officially the best day of her life. It started out so good and still going well. It made her really happy to realize how strong their bond was. "Thank you, guys. But, trust me, nothing could go wrong."

"If you and that stupid Hyuuga will finally be together after tonight, I guess it's fair to admit I'm wrong all this time." Hotaru said it seriously in her usual icy tone but anyone could notice the concern and happiness in that message.

"No need for that, Hotaru. I needed that… the reminders, I mean."

"Don't you change after tonight, Mikan."

Mikan laughed. "Silly. I will never."

Anna whirled in happiness. "It is true. Winter Dance is the most memorable event of the year."

"That is definitely so true," Nonoko said who couldn't agree more.

* * *

><p>So many people were crowding in the middle that was why it's best to sit back and relax for now. Faculty members were having a group dance that was very entertaining to watch. It was really nice to see the people you respect the most crack up in the middle of the dance floor. Winter Dance was certainly more joyous than the Org Ball wherein limited students could join. There was something different about this dance that Mikan liked and that would be the assurance that she will enjoy it in a way she had not felt before. She was looking forward on seeing what Natsume would look like tonight even though she was already sure that he would look gorgeous as always.<p>

Their group didn't mind being dateless or the fact that they were all plain friends because if ever Ruka, Koko, and Yuu asked a girl, it would also come from them. They didn't just put a label because it was already given. The fact that Anna and Yuu never left the dance floor since the beginning was a proof and Ruka eyeing Hotaru from time to time. If Natsume was here, the group would be complete but having someone you were somehow committed was a big responsibility. In time, the group will get bored and part ways so before they all succumb to boredom, they must think of a way to let the conversation flow even with the music so loud and people yelling all over the place.

"Girls take so long," Koko started with a grin.

Ruka knew where the conversation was heading so he decided to join Koko at his antic. "What do you expect? They put so much effort but in reality they look the same."

Koko made a disgusted expression but at the same time the grin was there. "And then they act like a fragile glass when in reality they're not."

"You forgot to mention that they're complete brats, as if they own the space."

"I couldn't agree more."

The girls took the last two comments seriously. They could accept the fact that Koko and Ruka were joking, that girls really take long, and that they put too much effort but to be called a brat and acting like a fragile glass were too much. Hotaru looked unaffected but she was having the same thought as the other girls: Where is this conversation leading to? They were talking about a very different topic earlier and now this. Tension began and with it the atmosphere changed. Yuu, who had been silent since earlier, felt the responsibility to prevent something from happening. He was in the midline. Yuu expected Mikan to react but so far, none.

He then turned to Koko and Ruka with his concerned expression. "Is it really okay to talk like that?" he asked, worried.

Before someone from Koko or Ruka could answer, Anna already opened her mouth. There was bitterness in her tone, equaling the boys' level of mockery. "It's alright, Yuu. Unlike boys, we girls know how to appreciate." She turned to Nonoko, hoping to find an ally and she was not disappointed because Nonoko was already smirking at her might.

"Boys are such jerks. Thinking that they could manipulate girls." Nonoko commented in a careless way like it just got out from her mouth.

Anna nodded. "And they are dirty, little pigs,"

"I couldn't agree more," Hotaru joined.

Debating was never boring. It had always brought out the best of a person when it comes to defense. Any reason would do just as long as you were proving a point and still in line with the thing you were fighting for. Now, the topic of boys and girls was a very vast topic and no one could hear the end of it. But, since it was one of the most personal topics that could be discussed, it was fun to argue over who was better if the answer would be boys or girls. Of course, in the end, no one would win and the topic would be left unanswered.

The conversation went on and on. Mikan was silent all the time, finding the debate amusing. "This is fun," she mumbled with a smirk, listening carefully to them.

"Hey, Mikan."

The brunette turned around, finding the voice familiar. She saw Sumire. Seeing her now, Mikan thought that she had not seen her for a while. "Sumire. How are you? Haven't seen you in a while."

"Let me take you guys a picture," she offered.

"Oh, okay."

Sumire made some backward steps to capture them entirely. "I was busy and now I am tasked to be the photographer of the event," she said, releasing the shutter.

"More like you wanted to do it," Hotaru said from the sidelines.

"Well, yeah. I want to take a rest from writing and just take stolen pictures."

"That's hilarious," Mikan commented.

Sumire shrugged, slinging the camera strap around the back of her neck. "Yeah, something like that. See you guys later."

"Did she stop stalking you and your future boyfriend?" Nonoko asked in a whisper.

Mikan blushed. "I guess so."

Anna found Mikan's reaction amusing so she decided to tease more. "Anyways, the story will end tonight so it's just good timing."

Mikan pouted, hating her friends for making her blush for the idea. Well, she really did not hate them but if they were going t continue this, her expectations will peak again. "Shut it, Anna."

"What? I'm just excited for you."

"Me too," she muttered lowly.

On the other side of the hall were Natsume and Nobara. They were just sitting in the isolated corner of the room. After dancing in three songs, Nobara decided to take a rest and here they were. None were talking and the music was enough to catch their attention for a while although there were so many people congratulating them for coming together. They already thought they were a couple. But no, not yet. Maybe tonight, yes.

Nobara stood before Natsume and said, "I want you to know that I still believe when you said I'm special."

"I want to talk to you," Natsume said, standing also.

"Do you actually believe that this is the right time and the right place?" Nobara sounded irritated, "Your friends are waving at you. I won't mind if you go over there for a while. I'll have to find Yura anyways."

Natsume glanced at the direction Nobara was looking and there he saw everyone. His eye caught Mikan first, having a funny conversation with Koko. They were laughing and that's how he could tell. "Sure," he answered and made his way to toward them.

Tonight, Natsume was planning to end everything with Nobara. He knew what this would cause, on how Nobara would react, and he hoped she would try her best to understand. This was a tough decision on his part because he really did find Nobara special but Mikan was more special… in so many ways.

"Hey, Natsume! Having fun with your date?" Koko teased.

"Shut up," he growled, annoyed.

"I wonder if I can survive the night," Natsume admiited, sitting beside Ruka.

"What's up?" Koko asked without having any hint.

"Something."

Koko frowned. "What kind of answer is that?"

"The normal answer you get from Natsume Hyuuga," Ruka answered with a sinister smile.

Koko simply shrugged his shoulders, sipping his remaining drink. "Look, here are them."

"It doesn't look spiked," Anna commented, taking her seat.

Mikan smirked. "Unless you vomit from it."

The brunette was not able to take a seat because Natsume appeared at her side all of a sudden. She was happy to see him looking so formal and brushed up. Mikan laughed inwardly because she knew that he did make an effort to look appropriate rather than not caring what to wear. There was no sign of Nobara which Mikan found odd because this should be a crucial time for her to guard Natsume. Mikan hoped that they were having fun since they did go together, might as well make it a memorable experience.

"Mikan."

"Hey, Natsume. Having fun with your date?"

"Now, that's funny. Seems like I'm getting that question a lot." He did not wait for her reply. Stepping closer to her, leaning a bit, he whispered, "Let's meet at the tree before this thing ends."

"I can do that."

"Last dance, okay?" Natsume asked for confirmation.

"Okay," Mikan said, nodding, "Have fun."

Natsume held Mikan's hand before leaving. "You too," he said and he was gone.

No. That did not happen. Koko was surprised to witness all these unusual interactions between Mikan and Natsume. _Could it be?_ he thought warily. Koko felt bemused, shattered, happy, sad, and regretful. There was no mistaking it. Natsume would finally tell Mikan what he feels and after tonight they would be together and him… he would be forgotten just like that. Mikan would have no more reason to confide to him because she would have her happily ever after. Where would that leave him? No. Koko shook his head. What was he thinking? Mikan confided to him because he was the supportive friend and so he should be one… all the time. This was it. He was the one responsible for Natsume's sudden change of course in his relationship with Mikan, right? Yes, he should be happy.

But that mindset didn't stop him from stealing Anna's drink, rumored to be spiked. He couldn't care less. He stood up, approaching a blushing Mikan. A blush. Before, it was sadness and now it was excitement. The idea that Mikan would finally be happy eased his jealousy. He admitted it to himself. He was jealous. Tonight, he would lose a friend but that was just an exaggeration because Mikan would still be Mikan. No matter what would happen tonight, he should be happy.

"What's the meaning of that?" he asked.

Mikan got surprised by his presence. "Koko, I can feel that Natsume is finally getting out of his shell and will say his real feelings for me."

"You can't be sure."

"Hey, what's with that negative remark? Aren't you happy for me?"

"Of course I'm happy."

"Thank you, Koko. For everything. For every encouragement."

"That's it, huh? The ending is still a thank you."

There was something different with his words and Mikan could sense it fully. Looking carefully at Koko right now and judging his expression and words, Mikan could only come up with one thing. It scared her to think it aloud. There could be a misunderstanding. "Don't tell me–"

"Let's dance," Koko interrupted with a bright smile.

"Okay."

* * *

><p>"You can stop looking at them," Nobara reminded, smiling mischievously.<p>

"I wasn't."

Natsume could deny it all night but it was very obvious that he was getting jealous of his good friend Koko dancing with Mikan all night. Nobara wanted to tell him that he was not alone on the jealousy thing because as of the moment, she was having the same feeling. Of all the nights that Natsume could be insensitive for her feelings, it had to be tonight. A few years from now and he might completely disregard her so before that happens she would seize the day. Her dress, preparation, make-up, hair, shoes were all left unnoticed by him. It was all pointless. Clenching her fist, stopping the urge to cry, she looked up to him with the most sincere smile she could make.

"Something really good happened today, Natsume."

"What?"

"My parents trust me again. In a way that I wanted them to trust me."

"I hope I can do that with my father."

"I'm sure you can if you'll just give him a chance," she advised, "I hope he'll come back to you because he has responsibilities as a father and your mother must be hurting a lot."

"If it isn't of her, we could care less."

"No, don't say that. A person can change for the better so there's still chance that your father will make things right even the infidelity."

"Sure he can."

"Trust him."

"I can't," he insisted. They did not talk for a while after that. Natsume felt responsible for offending Nobara in some way. "What's with this trust issue with your parents? Care to tell me one day?" he asked.

Nobara smiled at his interest. "Shall we go outside?"

* * *

><p>"Are you alright, Koko? You're drinking too much.<p>

Mikan stole the glass of cocktail from Koko, abandoning it on the space on her left. She was worried for him because she never took Koko as the boy who would intoxicate himself with alcohol in such a formal party. He was always so decent and okay. He looked problematic and bothered. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but Koko might not answer honestly with his condition right now. Mikan offered him a glass of water which he accepted without any remark but did not drink it. Ruka was busy dancing with Hotaru for the tenth song in a row, Anna was with her club, and Nonoko was in the dance floor.

She could not leave Koko in this state but she had an appointment. Mikan glanced at Yuu who seemed to understand her situation by giving her a curt nod. She gave him a thankful smile, getting back at Koko.

"I'm fine. Just dandy."

"If you need help, Yuu's right here beside you, okay? Understand?"

"Got it," he replied but Mikan doubted if he really understood what she just said.

"I'll leave him to you first. I need to go somewhere."

Yuu nodded, glancing at Koko. "No problem, Mikan."

* * *

><p>"Before you say anything, can I talk first?"<p>

"Go on."

"Thanks a lot," she said with much appreciation, "I'm going to confess to you, you know?"

Natsume did not expect this. He should have known judging by her smile and earlier statement. If Mikan would see this, it would mess everything up. Hearing Nobara say the word 'confession' brought back a lot of memories to him. All those countless profession of love, most from Mikan, which he never accepted even one. Girls made it look so easy to talk to the one you love and say all your feelings. But, it was hard on his part as a boy who should be the one making the first move. He was never that boy. He never made a move and yet girls flock over him. He let them and things like this happen.

He wanted to stop Nobara because she should not be doing this. He was the one who freaking led her on. But, he also wanted to hear what she has to say. Maybe it would be the complete opposite. Jumping to conclusions would be risky.

"You've been distant from me. Every day, it hurts to know that you are drifting away from me and what hurts the most is that you do it intentionally. You are such a jerk, do you know that? Making your best friend and I fall in love with you then leave us hanging. I hate you for doing that. I hate you for always beating me and making me feel like I don't try hard enough when I did try my very best. Then you came to me and made me feel special. We had a lot of memories together, Natsume. I will never forget a single one of them. Your words, look, even your mere presence mean so special to me. You make me feel special."

They always said that. That he made them feel special. Was he really able to do that when he felt no more than special? How could he have made them feel that way? You could never give what you do not have. So how? Natsume knew where this was going. All these years with Nobara were wonderful, distracting him from Mikan and making him at home with all their similarities. He was planning to throw all that away tonight but Nobara was not making it easy.

"I love you so much that I don't want to lose you. There's this voice inside of me that keeps telling me that I can't live without you and I know that's too cliché but I can't help it. This is what love does. And don't blame me for this stupid emotion because you started it. There are many things that you still don't know about me and me about you. I want to know them. Your fears, dreams, opinion, the whole you. Was I special to you?"

The question indicated that Nobara was questioning him this whole time. Maybe she was expecting a 'no', so he gave her an honest answer. "Yes," he said, his voice husky.

"I'm glad to hear that."

"And you will always be," he added with the same amount of truth.

"I'll be your girlfriend," she announced, catching him off-guard and speechless. "Isn't that what you are waiting for me to say?"

"Nobara."

Nobara cried that night, feeling so pitiful of herself. She was also angry for being selfish and for taking away his freedom. There was no guarantee that this would last but why is a boy pursuing a girl? Wasn't it all for this? So, she figured that she would give him the answer before he could end it. "You owe me this one, Natsume."

She sealed everything with a kiss.

* * *

><p>Mikan returned to the hall, looking flushed, flustered, sweaty. She quickly found Yuu sitting all alone in their table. Her breathing was rapid making it difficult to inhale air. It felt like the world was suffocating her and the only cure for it was to cry but she could not because the hall was still filled with lots of people who would question her for doing such action. All of a sudden she felt ugly and disoriented. She could not remember having fun tonight or ever in her life. Why must love be this painful? She hoped to find the answer soon in the hope it would make her feel better. Mikan began on thinking happy thoughts but nothing came. She choked up a bit because of her effort to stop herself from spilling out tears in the middle of Winter Dance.<p>

"That was quick. I thought you and Natsume will have the talk." Yuu's words made her feel more broken than ever. She hugged herself, closing her eyes. "Mikan? Hey, Mikan?" he asked repeatedly.

Mikan was ignoring him for a couple of seconds, making Yuu think that something bad happen again but she looked up with her normal smile. "Hey, Yuu."

"What happened to you? You looked pale and shocked."

"You could say that," she answered, giggling.

"Mikan, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Yuu. It's just that life is so unpredictable that it irritates me so much."

"Okay. By the way, Koko is in the bathroom, you know, vomiting."

"Give me that." She stole the cocktail drink she refused to give Koko earlier and drank it in one go.

"Do you want to end up like Koko?" Yuu asked incredulously.

"Where is everyone?" she asked, annoyed

"Having fun. Like what I'm going to do now." Yuu stood up which made Mikan panicked. She wanted to stop him because she badly needed someone to talk to but she already asked Yuu a favor to guard Koko and this was his only time to have fun. She could not deny him that also. "See you later, Mikan."

Her stare directed on the dance floor where everyone wore a smile. Music was loud and energetic. Balloons all over the floor with students bursting it making fun of each other. She wanted to experience that kind of fun. She wanted to enjoy, too. Mikan wanted to stand up but her legs were too weak to move. Her breathing was still irregular plus the alcohol did not make her feel any better. Well, it was just one tiny glass. She should have more. A few second of staring at the crowd, she already felt her tears, quickly wiping it away in the fear that someone would see it.

"Crap. Why is everyone having a good time?" she muttered to himself. She looked everywhere to find someone she could hang out with but there was no one. The sad realization hit her like the air of the balloon when burst. It was loud, clear, uncomfortable. Love was always painful. Love never gave her what she deserved. It was cruel on her. She was suffering and crying and miserable while others enjoyed it. Mikan knew why her friends were missing in action: They all though she was going to spend the rest of the dance with Natsume.

The largeness of the hall just occurred to her, making her feel isolated in the middle of so many people.

"I am all alone."

Mikan counted the minutes before everyone got back to their seats. For half an hour, she was just staring at them and thinking blankly. She was waiting for Koko to come back but she already convinced herself that Koko must have lost that ability a few hours ago. She should have just stayed with him thus preventing this heartache and him from embarrassment. She did not deserve to hear that, not ever. She did not deserve to see that, not ever. She did not deserve to be treated this way. Not ever.

"Still up for the last dance?" Natsume's voice from behind said.

Mikan stood up, turning to him with her fakest smile hoping Natsume would notice it. "Yeah."

Natsume led her on the dance floor. The last sweet song of the night was playing. After this song, this Winter Dance would end and they would all see each other next year. Marvelous. Just what she needed. She was staring hardly at him and she could see the questions forming in Natsume's eyes.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Really? At all?"

"Did you enjoy?" he asked instead.

"You told me we are going to talk but you disappeared all of a sudden," she spat.

"I got busy."

"Busy, huh." She looked amused.

"Will you always give me the last dance?" Natsume asked. A question that was very out of his character to ask.

Mikan nodded like she was mocking him, smiling widely. "If you want to."

The song ended. Compared to their dance last Org Ball, this dance was stiff, cold, awkward, forced, and fake. Mikan never felt anything but sheer angriness. When she glanced at her left, she saw Nobara and her blood boiled. That girl was vile. She was poison. And Mikan feared that she could not see Natsume anymore as her best friend. Too much was enough.

"They say not expect too much for it will hurt," Mikan said, choking up. "I'm glad to be your best friend, Natsume. Supporting you all the way is my job. Whatever happens tomorrow, I will always be here. But I will not let anything or anyone hurt me in this way again. I deserve more than this. I deserve to be happy like you."

"Yes, you do."

Mikan flinched, thinking it was a lost cause. "Excuse me."

In the end, the loser was her.

**End of Chapter**


	20. Close Spaces

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Twenty**

_**Close Spaces **_

Mikan sat there, looking intently at the girl across her who seemed to be smirking with all her might. The brunette tried to ignore the girl but every move she did irk her. They were the center of attention because it was very obvious that the tension was growing every second and no one could do anything about it. A coffee shop was not the best place to argue but it will do since Mikan felt like insulting someone today. She would not give a damn if Natsume would scold her for doing so. Actually, she did not even know if Natsume still had the right to meddle with her own feelings. So what if she would be a little unwelcoming with Nobara who seemed to be joining their group little by little? Nobara was a vile, vile girl in Mikan's point of view so everyone should be careful. They might get bitten.

But, on the other side of her dark thoughts, Mikan could clearly see what Natsume saw in her. Beautiful, smart, wonderful, talented, and she was thoughtful to Natsume. Mikan should just forfeit because there was nothing not to like in Nobara. If Natsume really loved her, then maybe in time she would accept it. In the meantime, she felt like expressing her anger. The day was just starting and she already could tell that it was not going to be a good one. Glancing at Natsume who was acting like he was not the reason for all of this, Mikan remembered how she felt when Natsume said that stupid thing. If he really thought that she deserved happiness, he should have not said that.

Ruka texted her this morning, telling her about a little meet up because they needed to talk about something. She came a little late, hoping the seat next to Natsume was still free but apparently it was occupied by no other than the girlfriend of the love of her life. It was painful enough to see her sit beside him. What more could Nobara do to her? As if she was not miserable enough in the first place. Mikan remembered that night again. Shaking her head, Mikan smiled at Anna as she told her the drink she would like to have. Damn the effect of that one night. It was too much to bear.

"What is she doing here?" she asked, acting innocent. Mikan had a guess that no one in the group could absolutely tell that Natsume and Nobara were finally together.

"Mikan," called Hotaru.

The warning did not stop her from continuing. "I thought this is going to be a hangout of friends but I see an outsider." Mikan did not even care to the fact that everyone found her acting rude and weird because she hoped that in this way, the pain could somehow lighten. Revenge was not a very nice thing to do but Mikan wanted to be selfish right now. She hoped it could help.

Nobara gave out a smile, looking sincere and unaffected. She glanced at Natsume then to the rest before answering, "Oh, I'm sorry. I just had the impression that I am more than welcome here."

"You think?" Mikan retorted, earning a nudge from Nonoko.

Hotaru rolled her eyes, hitting the table lightly. "Mikan. Stop it. Your rudeness is pointless."

It was irrational for Mikan to act that way. They had never seen her with such attitude nor had they imagined her to be so hostile. Something happened and that was the only thing everyone was certain of. Koko, while looking at Mikan, was having a wild guess on what could cause her to act like that. Ruka already shook his head the moment Mikan stopped talking although he knew that this was just the start. Everyone waited for Natsume to react but he just kept silent while Mikan never laid her eyes on him. To think that these changes occurred after one night.

"Whatever."

Anna came back with their drinks and pastries. Koko was telling jokes while eating in which Ruka, Anna, Nonoko, and Nobara reacted positively to. No one still knew what the purpose was of the little gathering except for Ruka but no one seemed to mind because it was never tiring to see your friends. There were not a lot of people in the coffee shop, most of them order then go. They had a short talk about the Winter Dance in which Mikan refused to say anything, then their topic changed to what they would do this coming Christmas. Everyone had plans. Mikan was just staring at the outside but that did not mean that she had not listened to the part wherein Nobara asked Natsume to celebrate Christmas with her. Why was it like that? They had always celebrated Christmas together, exchanging gifts, and making happy memories.

Was it always like this? When your best friend got together with the love of his life, he was slowly slipping out from your grasp. Sadly, Mikan could do nothing about it. She kept on sipping on her soon-to-be emptied cup while her pastry was left uneaten. Mikan hoped she was not attracting too much attention because she was very aware that she looked so dumb right now.

"So, how's your vacation so far?" Anna asked in her usual excited and interested tone.

"So far so great. Natsume met my dad because I requested him to make a landscape painting of my Dad's garden."

"Sounds boring," Mikan muttered.

"What makes you say that? Are you having quite a nice vacation?" Nobara asked, wearing her usual smile. She may be smiling but one could easily tell that she was faking it.

Mikan snapped back to her senses then glanced at Nobara. "Why would I tell you?" she asked, smirking.

Nobara accepted the retort decently. She decided that there was no point in fighting Mikan so she turned her attention to her boyfriend who was very quiet that day. "Natsume, would you like some?" she asked, already slicing the creamy, pink, and delectable round pastry on the middle of the table.

The brunette snorted. "He certainly can get his own strawberry cake." For Mikan, what she just witnessed was very childish. She did not know that Natsume liked his girls to treat him like a baby.

Moments after that, Mikan stood up in the middle of a very engaging conversation. She excused herself, going to the powder room to take a look of herself. Her heart could not take anymore to sit there and watch her own best friend acting cold towards her. Natsume could have at least acted natural and she would understand it but there was zero effort coming from him.

"What's wrong?" Hotaru asked, surprising her.

"The service here is very unsatisfactory."

"I'm not asking about that and you know it."

"I don't want to think about it, Hotaru. I don't even want to talk about it."

"What happened that night?" Hotaru inquired. She wanted answers for her to understand Mikan and the only person who could give her that was the brunette herself.

"I don't think I can tell you now. I'm sorry…it's just that I don't want to cry here."

"Oh, Mikan."

"I'll be fine," she assured, smiling with all her might, "Hey, I'm stronger than you think."

"You don't have to keep it. No matter how many times I've heard it, I'll always listen."

Mikan came back first, surprised to see how much time had passed. She had the urge to go already but then Ruka opened his mouth with another big idea that she did not know if she was going to be thankful or not.

"Hey, guys. We're planning an outing after Christmas."

"New Year is Mikan's birthday," Nonoko stated.

Ruka nodded with excitation evident on his face. "Yes, that is why the timing is perfect."

Anna cheered. "Great. So we'll have a birthday celebration while out of town."

"Is that okay with you, Mikan?" Koko asked.

"Yeah, sure."

They all decided to hang out on the riverside, the one where Mikan usually goes when she had problems. They were talking about where to go on the trip and even debating which place was better. No one could come up with the final decision yet and it was only days away with no chance of them seeing each other again because the upcoming days will be busy. No one seemed to appreciate the beauty of the drying grass and the cold river. Lots of children were with their parents that afternoon, enjoying the calming weather. For Mikan, it was a perfect picture. She could hear the voices of her friends, smiling on how they were arguing which was the better place. It did not really matter to her where because as long as she was with her friends, enjoyment was guaranteed.

"Natsume must be planning big on your birthday."

The statement annoyed her. "Why do you even care, Nobara?"

"I'm the girlfriend and you're the best friend. It is perfectly normal."

Competing with someone over someone was becoming her habit for the past years. Mikan found this rivalry with Nobara entertaining. Maybe because she was always reacting like she was damn guilty. Mikan glanced at Natsume whom Koko was interrogating at the moment. They must be asking for his clever opinion. Her stare came back to Nobara. "It's not. You should call yourself a nosy girlfriend."

"You are never gonna hurt me with your petty words."

Mikan smirked with all her might. "Oh? That's not even my purpose."

* * *

><p>Anna and Nonoko already bid their goodbyes, reasoning that they had to go to the mall to window shop. Hotaru asked Mikan to walk with her but the latter refused. Deep inside Mikan's heart, she hoped that Natsume would ask her the same thing but that did not happen as it was obvious that he had somewhere to be with her girlfriend. Ruka walked home with Hotaru, earning a tease from the girls in which Hotaru classically shrugged. When they parted ways, Mikan froze on where she was standing, gripping at the part of her shirt where her heart was located. The pain was there literally. The sweet bread she ate did not help at all.<p>

"Wanna walk together?" Koko asked.

Mikan was surprised to see that Koko was still there. There was a big possibility that he waited for her and did not go on purpose. "Sure," she answered even though she was not convinced that it was a good idea. Mikan could still remember Koko's words and action back at the dance, his doings that indicated that he liked her in some different way.

"Mikan, may I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"I thought after the Winter Dance, you and Natsume will finally be together. But, Nobara is here today, surprising us all and it doesn't take a genius to tell that they are together."

She knew that Koko would talk to her about that. But why now when the pain was still fresh and radiating? Thinking about his statement in which worry was very evident, Mikan decided to take the conversation lightly. "Where's the question?" she asked in a playful tone.

Koko did not buy her act. "Are you okay?" he asked seriously, tone was flat.

She nodded, taking a few steps in advance. "I'm fine, Koko. This will pass."

Koko grabbed her arm. "We can talk about it."

Yes, yes, please. Mikan wanted to release everything she was feeling now. All these heaviness and throbbing pain. She did not want to keep anymore the fact that she was so sad and scared to death on what could happen to her and to Natsume. It was very hard to act normal after that night. She could not even smile and he could not even look at her. Mikan wanted to breakdown in front of Koko just like last time but she decided that Koko should not be involved in this anymore. He was starting to be the comforter every time and Mikan felt that she was troubling him big time. Seeing Koko so serious, his tone was the same when they were doing that fake confession, and he was acting like he was responsible for her.

Mikan panicked, turning her back to him. "I don't want to talk about it. Talking about it will just make me feel miserable."

"Okay. I respect that. But when the time comes that you can't hold it anymore, I'll be here to listen."

Why was Koko being so kind? What did he ever see in her? Mikan could not think lowlier of herself, reasoning out that if her own best friend could not love her then the more other people would find her irritating. That must be true. To think that her father left her.

"Thank you so much, Koko."

"So, your birthday is coming."

"I didn't even want to pay attention to that," she admitted, "I just want to go home now and rest."

"Stop making me more worried than I am right now."

"When I really can't hold it anymore, you are the first person I'll come to."

Koko was not fine with it but he could not make Mikan talk so he let her slip this time. "Okay," he said.

* * *

><p>"Mikan? Can I come?"<p>

"Of course, Mom."

Yuka entered silently on Mikan's room, sitting on the corner of the bed. Mikan was facing the window and she looked like she was listening to some music basing on the ear phones she just removed. Her daughter was making her worry to death because she looked so weak and restless these past few days. Yuka could tell it at one look that it had something to do with Natsume again, as always. She wanted to talk to Mikan, hoping that she could break the wall her daughter was building. Based on her actions, it looked like she was not telling anyone what was her real problem and as her mother, she must take action. Yuka knew that stress could make you feel less hungry but there was no way she would tolerate Mikan's action of starving herself.

"I just had the impression that you don't want anyone on your room right now," she said, earning no reaction from Mikan, "Dinner's ready."

"I'm not hungry. Ate lots of foods earlier."

"Would you always leave me alone every dinner? It's been four days straight, Mikan. And I'm worried because I know how much you like to eat."

"I'll be better, Mom."

Being better would take a lot of time. Yuka examined Mikan's room, happy at the fact that it never changed. Mikan still had those stuffs when she was a little kid proving that she treasured every single thing. It was signifying that Mikan was the type of person who did not want to forget easily as every moment that happened was important for her. Looking at her right now, cuddling herself, Yuka wanted to ask what was wrong badly but Mikan will not talk, she could feel it already. Yuka followed Mikan's stare and it led her to the fully designed wall.

"You still have that timeline."

Mikan smiled sadly. "When did you last visit my room? I always have that. It will be forever posted there."

"It's really nice to see how your relationship with Natsume grew. From being a little kid to possible lovers." Yuka's heart faltered when she saw the sad smile Mikan displayed when she said that. She caressed her daughter's hair but Mikan fidgeted, shaking her head. "I'll leave you now, Mikan."

"See you first thing in the morning, Mom."

Mikan stayed on that position after her mother left. She wanted to see Natsume badly, hug him, and tell him repeatedly that she loves him. But that would be unfair for him, too cruel in fact. She would try her best to be happy for him although it would take time and practice, but she'll try. If her friendship with him would stay the same, then that would be worth it. Right? That's life. You could not get anything you want and there were things not meant for us. Learning to accept that fact should be the first step in the process of moving on. She might have lost the chance of being with him forever but she would not let the friendship slip away although she would not make this easy for Natsume. She could not approach him and act so normally when it's not.

She got up from her bed, sitting on the floor and still staring on the timeline she made on the wall. Their happy memories caught on cam were relaxing to look at. Their baby pictures, first year together as friends, first field trip, first time they attended each other's birthday party, first Valentine's Day together, first Christmas, first Movie Night, first gifts from each other, and many more. Their friendship was everything to her. No matter how much he pushed her away, she would not let it go like that. She was not the girlfriend but she was the best friend. Mikan hugged her knees, thinking how boring life would be without Natsume.

* * *

><p>Mikan was awakened by the bright sun illuminating her room. She fell asleep sitting on the floor. Quickly glancing at the clock, she got up to get some breakfast. Man, was she hungry. Not eating dinner would really give you an ulcer. Before finally getting out of the room, she made a quick glance on that timeline again and smiled at the plan that she would see Natsume today. She had a pretty good reason to barge in their home. Yuka greeted her on the stair, giving her the phone which she took out of uncertainty.<p>

"Your Dad's on the phone."

She nodded, greeting the caller. "Hello."

"_Good morning. It's nice that you are talking to me right now. I know it's still early but I want to greet you already a happy birthday."_

"Thanks."

"_We should eat somewhere and it's New Year so the timing is perfect."_

"We already planned an outing but if you really want, we can set a date and go out. Mom would love that."

"_I appreciate your kindness, my dear daughter. Can't wait to see you and your mother."_

"See you soon, Dad."

There was a small smile on her face after the call ended. It was the very first time he greeted her a happy birthday and the feeling was wonderful. Her hands were shaking. Was she that excited? Could this mean that she was slowly accepting her father? Mikan was not sure of other things but she was certain that what just happened is a good thing.

"What's that about?"

"We are having a small family dinner next year, Mom."

Yuka smiled, her heart fluttered at the idea. "That's great."

"Yes, Mom. I actually feel excited. I think this is the best thing that happened to me this week."

"It's nice to hear that."

"Should we go and eat breakfast?"

Mikan ate happily that morning since she already claimed that she was starving and felt like she haven't eaten in years. Her aura now was totally different from last night's gloomy and depressed state. More than half of the food was consumed by her much to Yuka's satisfaction. Her daughter kept on asking about Izumi, acting like she was thrilled and looking forward to it. Yuka was happy to see her daughter eating again but she knew that behind Mikan's act was a troubled girl. Something was different with Mikan because she even requested to teach her in cooking. Mikan loved to eat but it could not be applied to cooking. Oh well, that was an opportunity for learning so whatever was the original reason behind it, Yuka agreed.

They were eating for almost an hour. Thanks to Mikan's nonstop talking. Another sign that she was in a state of misery. Yuka would like to talk to her now if it weren't she saw her daughter going outside. "Where are you going, Mikan?" she asked, not having any clue where Mikan would go at this early time of the day.

"To Natsume Hyuuga's home."

"Why?"

"Mom, look at the date."

Yuka remembered the day today. "Oh. Okay. Have fun then."

"Bye, Mom."

It was cold outside but it was no match to the coldness Mikan was feeling internally. She had no idea on how would Natsume treat her now if he still cares. She just wanted to see him and talk to him. Maybe he could make her laugh or smile or feel good. Mikan did not know. The fact that he was the one who broke her heart did not change the fact that he was her best friend for life. Mikan entered the home of the Hyuugas wherein she found no one. It was a sad house to look at. Mikan then remembered the family conflict everyone was enduring now. Mikan flinched, thinking she was acting so selfish these days that she forgot that Natsume still had that issue with his father. She would like to help him so she would try to bring up the topic later.

She slowly travelled the stairs, observing the place that was once full of happiness. When Mikan reached Natsume's room, she did not even wait a second to enter. She barged in like usual with a big smile on her face. "Hey," she greeted enthusiastically. Mikan was happy to see that Natsume was home. He really wasn't the outgoing type as opposite to hers. She casually sat on his bed.

"Learn to knock next time," Natsume said, standing up and started keeping his drawing materials.

"Afraid that I'll catch you doing something perverted?" she teased.

"What are you doing here?"

Judging from Natsume's expression, he was not happy to see her. Mikan tried to keep her smile, hoping it would ease up Natsume. But he really looked annoyed. He did not want to see her. Mikan clenched her fist, fighting the tears that could come out anytime if she would fail on stopping it. Suddenly, she did not know what to say and kept distracting herself by looking around. Natsume was waiting for her to say something. She hated the look of disappointment plastered on his face. What did she do now?

"Are you angry at me? Is this about how I acted in front of your precious girlfriend yesterday?"

"What did Nobara ever do to you?"

"What a very stupid question, Natsume. You love her, that's her biggest mistake."

"Can you even hear yourself?"

Mikan swallowed at the sharpness of Natsume's voice. Was she too insensitive? She was disregarding the fact that Natsume liked Nobara and that she had no right to talk about someone in that way.

"Clearly," she said but the moment the word slipped her mouth she regretted it.

Natsume stared at her with disappointment written all over his face. Mikan felt disappointed with herself, too. She never saw Natsume looked at her with such expression so she must have really upset him. Another minus point for her. She cannot really do anything right, can she? Her jealousy will eat her if she won't put an end to this. Mikan was starting to think that she was wrong for hoping that Natsume could actually love her back.

"I don't think this is a good time to talk," Natsume declared.

"Then, when?" she quickly asked, "Honestly, you don't have any right to be angry with me. Do you even care how miserable I am right now? You left me hanging again. Do you know how much I'm hurting right now?"

"And that gives you an excuse to act like a bitch to her?"

"I can't believe you are saying that. Isn't this your fault? For being such a coward."

"You got it all wrong."

"Then enlighten me!" she yelled, desperate for answers. "Because I am so confused now. I mean, what's up with that. You said you are gonna prove me wrong but you have proven me right."

"You don't understand."

"Make me."

"Stop depressing yourself with me, Mikan. I'm not worth it."

Mikan hated it when Natsume says things that degrade himself especially when she idolized him so much. "You are my best friend so how can you be not worth it?" she asked, hoping it would make Natsume understand.

"I did more damage than control."

"That's not true."

"It's true."

"Why do you keep saying that? Why don't you just tell me straightly?" She deserved to know so he must say it but he was too scared to admit the real reason or what were his plans. Everything that was happening made Mikan's heart constrict making it hard to breathe. She wished she could spill out the truth from Natsume as soon as possible or else nothing will end. Mikan lowered her head, smiling sadly. "It hurts like hell, you know. When I see you two kissed. Suddenly, my dream of kissing you first shattered."

Natsume was surprised to hear that. "You saw it."

"Everything."

"Why are you even there, Mikan?"

Mikan faced him with an aggressive expression like she was ready to defend herself anytime. "What do you think? You asked me to meet you, right? And so I did only to find that most important moment in your life. Is that what you want me to see? You could have just narrated it to me."

"Stop acting like that."

"I hate her. But you like her. So I just have to like her too. Even if it's hard, even if it's painful."

"No one asked you to like her. Nothing will change if you'll do. Friendship is not forced, it just happens."

Mikan thought about it but her decision was already final. She would try to be nice to Nobara and might even actually like her. Friendship can be forced sometimes. Just like now. When she was forcing herself to Natsume. The boy did not need her anymore and anytime he could just ignore her so she was putting extra effort to make him stay. It was sad that their friendship became like this. There was too much exertion coming from her, she was always chasing him and yet she could not feel him. She could not feel that he appreciated it. He was only there when she gets angry and after that their cycle repeats.

"What happens after this, Natsume? I feel like she's taking up so much of your time that I can barely see you, like I need to set an appointment just to meet you."

"Things are different now. But I'll try to make time."

Mikan smiled and asked with full hope, "Will you? Today?"

Natsume sighed, his eyes lingering around the room. "Maybe some other day," he answered.

"Do you have somewhere to be?"

He nodded, acting so casual about it. It hurt Mikan to the fullest to see him forgetting things that they used to do. "I promised to see Nobara tonight." There was no regret in his voice and in fact it looked like they planned this a long time ago.

Mikan tried to smile but failed to do so. She shrugged her shoulders, stepping back. Her first attempt to hold the door knob failed and that was when she realized that her hands were sweaty. She was nervous and sorrowful. Natsume stared at her with worry but she did not want him to worry. Anything from him but worry. She could accept the changes slowly but it was so fast that it was hard to keep up. So near yet so far. Tonight is another night for crying. Oh, how she hated crying. It was all so easy for him. He was happy, at least. She was miserable. They were incomparable. They were so close but there were so many spaces. Before it was bittersweet but not it was full of bitterness only. She wished she could change back time.

Back to the days when they were little kids and love was only a joke. The thing was…it never was a joke to her but always was a simple thing for him. She said what she had to say. She gave him the chance to explain but let it passed for the nth time. Lost cause indeed. Before completely exiting Natsume's room, she aimed to make one last remark. The real reason why she went here and took all the trouble to face him.

"And it also hurts like hell that you forget that tonight is Movie Night. Whatever happened to nothing will change?"

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Heya, guys! I'm back after almost a month. Can you forgive me? I just finished taking our final examinations so that means our break has started. I have three weeks before the class resumes again so there's more time to finish the chapters. I guess this is good news, right? I want this vacation of mine to be more productive than the previous ones and that includes being more productive here at FFN. Thank you for waiting. I know how much it sucks for a story to be updated because 100% of the incomplete stories on my favorite list are not updated. Sorry again. Meanwhile, I found it funny that while I was typing this chapter, I was working on another CY chapter that has a little romantic scene. I am currently listening to a lot of Jpop, Maroon 5, and Taylor Swift songs to boost my motivation. <strong>

_**Anna Carmela**_**, I was not able to reply to your second PM because I'm not allowed to. But, I don't know why you think that way. You did nothing to offend me and you certainly don't annoy me. I'm sorry if I'm answering this in an A/N but if only I could PM you. **

**What's with this chapter? **


	21. Long and Repetitive

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Twenty-one**

_**Long and Repetitive**_

It was quiet on the car for a while now. Nobara kept on glancing at Natsume who chose to be quiet at the issue. He saw Nobara talking to someone today, accidentally. The man she was talking to was unfamiliar and he looked dangerous. He also looked older than them, maybe two years. Natsume was curious about the man because Nobara never mentioned him but by the looks of it, he was someone significant from Nobara's past. Natsume was intrigued because when Nobara discovered that he was watching them, she looked guilty. He wondered why she was guilty. He wondered why she kept it a secret. There were so many questions to be asked.

The road was almost empty but the flickering lights illuminated the way. A long drive was not needed to get in their destination since it was just an hour away from the city. Actually, they were late and if they followed the time frame they should be on the rest house by now but due to a certain situation they were still travelling now. He received a few messages from Ruka but replied only once. That's why he hated having those phones; it was more of a distraction than help. Although, he could not wait to be there. He needed some relaxation time. There was no development on his father's dilemma and his issue with Mikan was back again. He was just staying away. Mikan would understand one day.

After paying the toll fee, Natsume started to talk. "Who is he?" he asked. He had a feeling that he should be the one starting the talk anyway.

Nobara stared at him for a few seconds, debating in her mind if now was the right time to tell him. The abruptness was comedic because she actually planned to tell him as later as possible. "He's my ex."

"What's the story?"

It was a long story but she could summarize it and Natsume would still get the meaning. This was awkward and what made it more awkward was the unaffected tone of Natsume's voice. Telling about him to Natsume was hard but she could say it. "He cheated on me. God, Natsume. I thought he was my everything. I started hating love for the longest time but everything changes when I met you and you did these little sweet things."

Natsume nodded, smirking at what she said. "That's why you never want me to let go."

"That's why I don't care if Mikan is hurting right now," Nobara said in full seriousness.

The very moment Nobara mentioned Mikan, he flinched. Natsume remembered about the Movie Night he totally forgot, their cold war, and their deteriorating friendship. He was hurting too but not the way she was. He might not be crying but he felt empty. Maybe he was not evidently miserable but he was miserable. Staying away was one of his ways for her to forget him but she just kept on coming. He was trying to teach her a lesson even though both of their happiness is at risk. It could be worth it. One day, she'll thank him. Like these roads, they may feel empty but eventually on the end, they'll see the meaning of it; their destination.

"I feel guilty every time I see her."

"What do you think is the reason?" Nobara asked teasingly.

"I want to comfort her but I know I'm not in the position to do so."

Nobara chuckled, stretching her extremities. "Love is so complicated," she wailed.

Natsume frowned at the fact. His grip on the steering wheel tightened. "Love is nothing when one is loving more. I don't think I can equal her feelings. It's too much."

Nobara rolled her eyes. "And you want to stay friends."

"But our friendship is extremely affected because she loves me too much. What if I hurt her when we're together? I'm afraid for her."

"So, you don't trust that she's strong enough?"

"I don't trust myself."

Nobara laughed at him. It was very unlady or out of her league but she could not help but laugh. It's just that she was not used to see that the all mighty Natsume Hyuuga was putting down himself. If people in school would witness this, they'll think they're just hallucinating. "Give yourself some credit, Natsume. Mikan and I are alike in one thing and that is our faith on what you are capable of."

"This is weird," he commented, referring on how they were talking like they were not supposed to be a couple.

"I know."

The atmosphere was back to before. Silence was present in the air. They were both thinking about things that were concerning their personal lives, making them so serious and focused. "Stop being the bad guy," Nobara said after a while.

"And you, the bad girl."

But they would not and that was the funny thing. Nobara was willing to be the bad girl to be with Natsume. Her selfishness led her to this so there was no point on stopping now especially that she made an agreement with him. Even though it would turn out that he only used her, she would have no regrets. They were official in name but not in feelings. Yes, she was special for Natsume but in a different way and if only Mikan had an idea about this, she would squeal to death. Nobara might be the bad girl but she was helping. She was helping him in helping Mikan. This love had become a mission of helping someone instead of just getting together. She would do anything to make him happy. Even though she was hurting also right here, right now.

"We're here."

* * *

><p>When Natsume opened the door, Mikan's voice immediately rang in his head. "That's too much water," he heard her saying as a reprimand. Natsume made his way to the kitchen where her voice seemed to be coming and he was not wrong. He saw her clad in a white long sleeve and a blue skirt. The apron covering her clothes as of the moment looked well on her and Natsume would not miss the more radiant aura she was wearing now compared to the last time she saw her.<p>

Koko frowned, pouring out the excess water from the casserole. "Sorry, Miss Perfect."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, Madame!"

Mikan shook her head. "It's a wrong decision for you to be in charge with cooking."

"It's not like I volunteered."

"Call Anna," the brunette ordered.

Natsume smirked at Mikan's arrogance. She was talking like she was used to cooking when in fact she could not even peel a potato properly. He took one more glance at her before returning to the living room. The cabin was made of wood and was owned by Nonoko's family. He did not join in deciding where to go this Christmas Break but the location of this cabin was not so bad. The fireplace was untouched so Natsume made a mental note to do the work later. From the window, he saw Ruka and Hotaru getting the supplies they just bought. The cabin had its neighbors and judging from the lit windows and smoking chimneys, there were lots of people trying to relax also.

"Anna! Mikan is having her tantrums. Will you please help?" Natsume heard Koko whined which made him laugh internally.

"Natsume and Nobara are here so help them with their luggage."

That was Natsume's cue to reenter to the cabin. He found Nobara sitting on the couch, checking out her phone. He did not notice her when he got out. Koko greeted them with a smile and a wave, just like the child he was. Koko went to Nobara to carry her things which she insisted that he did not need to do that but in the end Koko won with his persisting power.

"Natsume! Nobara! You two are late." It was Ruka who was holding some kilos of rice. Hotaru went straight to the kitchen with bags of fruits.

"Something came up," he answered shortly.

Ruka rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like I'll buy that."

"Shut up."

Hotaru came back with empty hands. "Boys room is the first room so in case something happens, you guys will be the first victims."

Ruka shivered at her statement. Hotaru had a very weird reasoning that Ruka could never fathom. Oh well, he would not waste half of his life resolving it. "Natsume, you're late so..."

"I know and I know that this means I got the bed with the least favorable condition."

"Oh, don't complain. It's your fault."

"Whatever, Ruka."

Meanwhile, Nobara finished unpacking. She found no one at the hallway so everyone must had been busy. She checked the kitchen and saw Mikan who was very occupied by what she was doing. Nobara simply smiled and continued walking. Not a long while, she bumped into Koko.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Everyone is preparing for dinner. Anna and Mikan are in charge with the cooking. Ruka and Hotaru bought the goods earlier. Nonoko and I are in charge with the cleaning."

"I should help."

Koko blocked her way to the kitchen. "You can cook tomorrow's breakfast."

Nobara seemed to be fine with it. "Cool."

Koko was bored and left with nothing to do. He had to wait for dinner to finish so he could go and wash the dishes. He did not have any complains when the task of washing the dishes suddenly was given to him but it meant working when everyone was already having fun. Well, he was kicked out of the kitchen so he must make a comeback. When he entered the kitchen premises, everything was almost settled except for the soup that was still under the process of boiling. He could already see the amount of food he would be eating later. Anna was not a bad cook so he was almost sure that he'll enjoy dinner although there was no saying on what tension Nobara and Mikan would be bringing this time.

"Are you kidding me? Ugh, Koko. Just go."

"I want to help," he dramatically said.

"No."

Suddenly, Anna entered the kitchen with a red box. "Koko, put this on the fridge."

"Sure thing."

Anna was having the taste test when she ordered Mikan to go to the dining room already. "Go prepare the table now, Mikan." It was good news for Koko because no one would prohibit him from tasting the food before it would be serve.

"I will."

Mikan enthusiastically prepared the enough number of utensils they would be using. The long table was just right for them. She was actually enjoying the kitchen work so even for a short period of time, she forgot the anxieties this trip was giving her beforehand. Now, she knew one way of managing stress and that was to cook. Mikan was in the middle of preparing the second dining set when she noticed a presence from the entrance door. She looked up to see Natsume. Initially, she did not know what to feel but treating him like a disease would not help her.

"Do you want to help?"

Natsume started making his way towards her. "A chocolate for your bad mood?" he asked as he showed her a bar of chocolate.

She could just say no or hit him in the head using that bar of chocolate but she could not do that because she was tempted to have it. She grabbed it quickly earning a smirk from Natsume. She did not have the time to hide her embarrassment when she talked. "Thanks. But I'm actually in a good mood."

"What puts you in a good mood?"

Mikan figured out that Natsume was not here to help her but to interrogate her. "If you think I'll answer your name then you are a hundred percent wrong, best friend."

"I'm sorry, Mikan."

"Don't be. I perfectly deserve this. I'm too much, aren't I?"

Natsume could not speak at her statement. When Mikan was announcing these small realizations about herself, he could not help but feel proud of her. It was hardest to admit to yourself but she could do it. If only she could also have that attitude towards this love for him then everything will be settled. He was about to say something since they were alone in this room, there's a lesser chance that someone would hear him and besides he doubted if Mikan would give him the chance again.

"Look at this lovely cake," Anna announced, suddenly entering the dining area and cutting Mikan and Natsume's conversation.

"I didn't know Hotaru and Ruka bought a cake," Mikan said.

"Because it's from Nobara," Natsume answered.

"Oh, let's put it here."

Just when their conversation was getting interesting, someone had to cut it. Sure the dining room was not the perfect place to make up and Natsume was not even sure if Mikan would accept his apology but he could try to prevent any complication. Time never really liked them. Natsume felt that opportunity gone wasted and now he had to wait until the night is over just to say a few words to her. Patience was not really in his vocabulary but he would be patient for the sake of their friendship. Sacrifices were essential once in a while.

"Are we eating already?" Koko asked, entering the room and already taking a seat.

Mikan hit him lightly on the head, saying, "In a few minutes, yes."

"Here's the food!" Nonoko announced in excitement. She entered the room with Ruka and Nobara who were holding the plates with the dishes carefully.

Hotaru arrived at the dining hall a few minutes after they had set everything. Dining with friends had become so natural on all of them because of the frequency of the act. Even to Nobara who recently joined them didn't feel so awkward anymore. Just like that, they consider Nobara as a friend. It was not forced but just happened. Eating with friends was like eating with the family although it was less formal and more fun. Their closeness was in a different level now and they all thought that nothing could break them.

"We should go hiking tomorrow," Ruka suggested.

Mikan looked up with a big smile on her face. Adventure was an interesting subject for her. All those death-defying sports and moves. Well, hiking was not much dangerous but it could be thrilling. "I'd like that," she said.

"And a barbeque party," Koko added.

Mikan raised an eyebrow. "A barbeque party? Isn't that supposed to be for summer?"

Koko smiled nervously, thinking that Mikan saw him again. "It can be whenever," he reasoned out with a sheepish smile.

"Can someone please pass the rice?" Nobara asked.

"Here," Mikan said, handing over the large plate.

"Thanks."

The decency put them all into silence. Mikan was not rude, glaring, proud, and bitchy. The two acted like they respect each other which was weird because of what happened a few days ago when they almost snapped at each other. Seeing them getting along just fine was a good sign that letting Nobara join this trip was not so bad after all. Mikan could be good to her. Although, you cannot call passing the rice a heavy nice thing to do but it was still a progress. If it were last week, Mikan could have shoved it into Nobara's face.

When dinner ended, the persons assigned to the aftercare did their task diligently. After cleaning up, they decided to crowd on the veranda. They were feeling energetic and sleep was not around the corner so talking might do the trick. No one minded the cold temperature. The fact that they were free now, away from the city, and having fun made them feel the holiday spirit even more. Ruka and Koko were playing the guitar they brought. The gang was singing-along, out of tune most of the times but it brought out good laughs. This bonding belonged to their greatest memories this Christmas and it would all be in their minds for quite some time.

Mikan remained on the kitchen to prepare the cake that was not eaten earlier. She stared at the dessert suspiciously, even smelling it. She had a feeling that Natsume should not be eating this cake but of course she wouldn't say something like that because it will just make her the bad guy and the person who was overreacting. Mikan was avoiding drama to live up with her promise to Natsume and also for everything to go smoothly as possible. She was slicing the cake and put it on the tray where the plates were already in place.

Nobara entered the room casually, surprised to see that Mikan was eyeing the cake she brought. Best friends really knew best. Mikan did not notice her presence at first until she helped her in putting the utensils on the tray. "The chocolate is for you. I knew it."

Mikan glanced at her side. "Is there a problem?"

"Oh nothing," Nobara said innocently.

"Okay."

Nobara did not let Mikan go that easily. She was curious as to what changed Mikan's behavior towards her and if the brunette was just putting a show. "Why are you acting civil today?"

Mikan pulled up the tray, making sure her two arms were strong enough to lift it until she gets out. "Am I not allowed to?"

"Of course you are."

"I'll try to accept you and you'll be fine to me as long as you don't hurt him. Physically and emotionally."

"You shouldn't worry. He'll be fine. I'm more than sure."

Mikan shrugged. "Great then."

She hurriedly left the kitchen, rolled her eyes when she got past Nobara. It would look like she was being fake but that kind of attitude really annoyed her. Mikan never liked it when someone was questioning her motives. Here she was, trying to be real, but apparently not everyone could appreciate it.

"Let's eat the dessert now!" Nonoko exclaimed, serving each one a plate.

"This is yummy," Koko commented quickly.

Nobara offered Natsume a slice. "Here you go."

"Do you like baking, Nobara?" Anna asked. She had a feeling that the cake was personally made because of the color that did not complement the flavor.

"Yes, but my Mom has a greater love for it. Baking is basically her passion."

"So, is she a pastry chef or something?" Nonoko asked.

Nobara shook her head, smiling at the memory on how her mother used to tell her that she should have been a pastry chef instead of doing office work. Her mother was complaining for years, unhappy on her career but when she did baking as a pastime, she slowly recovered. "She wanted to be but fate did not let her so instead she just made it a hobby. That's why she always reminded me of making my passion my career."

"I think we all have that wrong decision in life that we cannot change but we can do something about it," Ruka said, eyeing his friends. His personal opinion made them silent so he gave them a smile. "That's why we should do the right thing always."

Hotaru smirked at him. "Too deep, Nogi."

"Right," Ruka acknowledged, rolling his eyes to the thought that Hotaru was mocking him.

"I'm going to take some water," Natsume announced, standing up abruptly and went inside.

Mikan eyed him with concern, thinking that something was wrong. She had two reasons in mind: one, was that Ruka got him on the do-not-make-wrong-decisions comment; second, he was not really feeling well. But he was fine earlier, even teasing her and bribing her with that chocolate bar. She was worried but Nobara has the primary right to take action now. Mikan wished she was just overreacting.

Koko jumped on the free seat beside Mikan with an enthusiastic attitude. "This is a great pastry, right Mikan?" Koko was very childish to have that reaction for sweets but that part of him was adorable and Mikan was entertained to witness it.

"Agreed. I wonder what flavor is this."

"You don't know? It's cheesecake. Although the color is not common for a cheesecake, you would have mistaken it for a blueberry cake."

Mikan was alarmed the moment the fact registered in her mind. She ran straightly inside, searching for Natsume who was not in the kitchen. She checked the boy's room and there she found him. Natsume was sitting at the corner of his bed, trying to calm down himself. He was displaying signs of his allergy again. Mikan had always feared his allergic reaction making it hard for him to breath and giving him rashes all over the body. She checked his pulse rate and it was higher than normal. Mikan panicked. The others barged in the room with Hotaru calling for help.

"Do you have your medication with you?" Mikan asked.

Natsume took a few more deep breaths before answering. "Didn't know this would happen," he said, coughing out of breath.

"You are so stupid, do you know that?" Mikan lectured with her weak voice. "Just lay your back on the headboard. It'll be easier to breathe in that position. We have no inhalers here but you can blow in this bag."

"Don't panic. I have this allergy for life. I know what to do. You know what to do. Seriously, we've handled this without any complication."

"Don't tell me that," Mikan insisted, arguing with him again, "The last time you had that stupid allergic reaction, you ended up in the hospital so don't tell me that."

"The doctor's here!" Koko yelled from the door.

Ruka welcomed the doctor. "It's a good thing someone could come at this hour."

Mikan exited the room when the help came. It really was a good thing that the doctor reached the cabin quicker than she thought or else Natsume would have to endure longer. No wonder she was feeling uncomfortable about that cake. This was all Nobara's fault. It was unbelievable that she would go this far just to see Natsume having an allergic reaction. Mikan never felt angrier towards a person. She was hating Nobara so much now than before for her intention of jeopardizing Natsume's life. That little allergic reaction could cost him his life. Nobara did not know that. All she knew was to find a way to feed her curiosity.

The brunette noticed that everyone was there except for Nobara so when she saw the girl walking back and forth on the veranda, Mikan did not hesitate to confront her. As a friend, Mikan was willing to be involved in a catfight. She had never been into an actual fight with a girl before but there was always a first time for everything.

"You bitch! Look what you've done. You know very well that Natsume is allergic to cheese and yet you served a cheesecake? You need to have a brain check."

Her voice was too loud, enough for others to be attracted to it. Mikan was ready to make a physical attack to Nobara when Ruka stopped her. "Calm down, Mikan."

"No! This has gone way too far."

"You are overreacting," Nobara remarked.

"I am not! You planned this."

"So what if I wanted to see the allergic reaction?"

Mikan could have laughed at her reason but she was so angry right now that hurting Nobara was something she would not mind. "You stupid girl."

"It's not like he'll die!"

Mikan found a way to be freed from Ruka's hold and grabbed Nobara's hair. "Idiot!" she yelled.

"Mikan!" Natsume yelled, just in time for everything. He did not say anything after that but the look he was giving Mikan could explain it all.

"Do you see now? Why I hate her so much? She is nothing but trouble. She is irrational. I knew she was vile and I never trusted her once. Even though everyone seemed to fell from her charms, I'm sure I did not. She almost killed you, Natsume." It was hard to explain your feelings especially when the people concerned could not understand you. Everyone was there with no response. Nobara looked hurt with her hair being messy and her eyes crying. It looked like they did not agree with Mikan so she had nothing in mind but to smile at them like she was encouraging them to agree with her but the odd expressions continued. "Don't look at me like that," she said and after a few moments she walked out.

"You have to fix this," Ruka whispered to Natsume.

"I will."

Hotaru followed Mikan outside, ready to give Mikan some piece of her mind. What Mikan Sakura just displayed was very embarrassing and unjust. The situation could be handled in a smoother way but Mikan just had to unleash her hidden grief to Nobara, making a scene, and saying inappropriate words.

"What was that, Mikan Sakura?"

"I'm just telling the truth!"

"You were out of line. Since when did you become like that? You think Ibaragi is vile? Can you even hear yourself?"

Mikan crossed her arms. "Well, she is."

"She's not!" Hotaru yelled in her face, "And if you can't still accept the fact that Hyuuga chose Ibaragi then suffer all by yourself! I'm so sick of you not helping yourself. You refuse to say anything and yet you act like this. You are so damn childish, Mikan."

"Why am I being blamed here? Did I put that food into Natsume's mouth?"

"No but bad things are coming out from your mouth," Hotaru defended, "You cannot judge a person. Ever."

"I have my basis."

"Your irrational basis. You are blinded by your obsession with Hyuuga. You hurt, you cry, he'll come, he'll comfort you, and then everything is alright. That's your stupid process! It's repetitive. You are the one always hurting because you put yourself into that situation. Hyuuga never asked for you to love him and he always had discouraged you so that you won't be hurt. But you just won't listen. You always don't listen, Mikan."

Tears escaped her eyes. Earlier, she was trying to save them but in the end it turned out to be the opposite. Her friends were not with her now and they all turned against her. Mikan thought that with what Nobara did, the girl would get some punishment for it but instead she was the one receiving the lecture now. Right now, Mikan did not know if she was right or wrong. She had a point and she was sure of that but why was the reaction she got different from what she expected? Was it because she was not being genuine all this while?

"I tried," Mikan whispered with a trembling voice.

"Try harder. If you'll continue to act like this, I will never be surprised if Hyuuga will ignore you one day." Mikan cried even more after hearing that from Hotaru herself. People around her were always leaving and that was why she did things to make them stay but it gave the opposite effect. Mikan felt a hand on her shoulder although she was numb by the words Hotaru said. "But, just so you know, don't make this about Hyuuga again. Think about yourself, Mikan."

* * *

><p>Mikan came back inside after an hour of good cry. She checked if Natsume was still awake only to find him sleeping soundly which she was thankful of. The door on their room opened with Anna and Nonoko carrying some pillows. Mikan already had a guess what was happening but she liked to hear from them.<p>

"Anna, Nonoko. Where are you going?" she asked with a smile.

The two girls exchanged guilty looks while Mikan was anxiously waiting for an answer. "We thought that it's best that you and Nobara will sleep in separate rooms," Anna replied.

Nonoko stared at Mikan carefully and added, "Since Nobara has no companion, we'll join her."

"But I'll have no one…"

"Hotaru will be there," Anna interrupted.

Mikan sighed and whispered, "I doubt it."

"Have a good night, Mikan."

A good night was impossible to have now especially that they were treating her like a plague. Mikan sat on the corner of her bed, feeling how alone she was again. The more she tried to make people stay, the more they went away. She hugged herself, trying to feel the warmth that was not there. Her friends had always left her because they were just fine without her. They never needed her like she needed them. Nobara was the one at fault here but she was the one suffering from it. Mikan hated herself for always crying because of other people. At first it was only Natsume and now even her friends. Something must have been really wrong with her. Mikan looked up, realizing what she had been thinking, she slapped herself repeatedly. It was very wrong to think of her friends this way.

She should just accept it. In that way, everything would be fine. She was the loser and she had to accept it. No, she did not have considered this as a game in the first place. So, Natsume did not love her and her friends thought she was wrong. Humility must be present in this kind of situation. Mikan would think this through. Although, she still thought that she had a point. Tomorrow things will have an answer and she just wished it would be in everyone's favor.

* * *

><p>"Good morning!" Nobara greeted at the first person who entered the dining room.<p>

Koko was still yawning when he asked "You prepared breakfast?"

"What? You assigned me this task last night."

"I almost forgot," he claimed, taking a seat.

"I don't blame you. So many things happened last night."

Mikan timidly exited her room to approach Hotaru who was just in the hallway. "Good morning, Hotaru. Where did you sleep last night?"

"You don't wanna know."

They were hurting her but she could try. She could act normally. "Good morning, Ruka!"

"You're still up with the scheduled hiking this morning?"

"Oh, yes. I have my camera with me, you know. So might as well use it."

"Great," Ruka exclaimed, "Where are you going, Mikan?"

"I just need to make a call."

Everyone but Mikan was present on the dining table but no one said a word about it except for Koko. "Where's Mikan? Isn't she hungry after all the drama last night?" he asked.

Ruka faked a cough. "She said she has to make a call. Didn't know though what's taking her so long."

"She'll be here so let's eat," Hotaru said.

* * *

><p>Mikan never came for breakfast but she was present at the scheduled activity for today. They were all wearing the proper attire for hiking and the orientation was already done. Not only the seven of them were going to hike today, there were also lots of tourists. Being outgoing on this kind of weather was challenging and fun so it was no surprise that many people would like this kind of activity. Skiing would also be fun so Mikan made a promise to herself to try it when she has time.<p>

Ruka was the organizer of the activity so he made one last warning for everyone. "Safety is always the first priority. Our goal is not that high and the snow is not too thick so making it up to the top shouldn't be so hard. Let's enjoy this, guys."

"Are you still angry at me?" Mikan asked, keeping up with Natsume's pace.

"Did you regret what you've done?"

Mikan smiled, shaking her head. "I don't think there's something wrong with it."

"If nothing is wrong then why does everyone thinks so?" Natsume spat angrily and walked in advance.

That did not go well. Mikan did not know what to feel anymore. She was disheartened by their cold behavior towards her and this trip was a trip to celebrate her birthday. They did not even consider her point or her side as Natsume's best friend. Her friends acted like they were tired of her.

"Hi, Mikan."

Mikan was touched by Koko's attempt to talk to her. She almost forgot that she still had Koko and his promise to always be there. "Why are you talking to me? Don't you know I'm a plague?"

"Well, you did go passed the limit."

If Koko was giving her another chapter of lecture, she better not hear it. She did not have to feel more terrible now. "I want to think, Koko. You go ahead."

Koko did not obliged to her though. He still walked with her. "Are you okay? You haven't had breakfast, have you?"

"Little lightheaded but I'll be fine," Mikan said but when she noticed that Koko was still her, she glared at him and said, "I said don't talk to me."

"You must be feeling sad."

"What if I am?"

"They are just trying to teach you a lesson."

"Well, they are bad at it. They are only causing me heartache."

"Your perspective's gonna change when you finally learn your lesson."

Mikan frowned. "Don't talk as if you are not the same with them."

"It's just all messy now but everything's gonna be fine. Mikan, I know both sides are being hardheaded right now so if that is the case, if you cannot live without them, why don't you just apologize? You will do it sooner or later so why not be the first one to take action? You're not gonna lose something but if your pride can't handle it, well, that's a different story."

Mikan stopped at walking and stared at the road ahead of them. "Why it is always the one who has to apologize is me?" she asked in a whisper, "Can't I be right for once in my life?"

"Both are wrong, Mikan. Apologizing has more benefits than you think. Think about it."

Every time Natsume sees Koko talking to Mikan, he could not help but feel being replaced. Which was stupid because Mikan would never ever replace him for anyone. Seeing her with those sad smiles and talking her heart out to Koko, he could not help but wished that this thing did not involve him. Consoling Mikan would be easier if he was not involved at all. The journey to the top could be finish anytime now and yet Natsume never saw one of his friends completely enjoying, even Ruka looked depress.

"I never knew Mikan could do that," he heard Nobara said.

"That's what happens when you suppress your anger."

Nobara nodded with head down. "By the way, I'm sorry for what I did."

"Don't do that again," he said in a low, serious voice.

"You're scary."

"Trust me. I am."

"You should control her, Natsume. Who knows what she can do?"

Natsume was certainly not happy to hear that. "She's not an animal," he said with a glare.

Nobara regretted what came out on her mouth. "I didn't say that. But, she's scary and becomes a war freak when you are the topic. Jealousy is a mortal sin and it has put many lives into danger."

"She has always been sensitive about my allergy," Natsume defended.

"She's violent. Before she gets severe, prevent it from happening."

No matter how much Natsume wanted to deny that, he could not. No matter how much he wanted to disagree with Nobara's point, he could not. Almost everything that they were saying about Mikan was true and he was a witness of it.

"If I'll do that, you must do me a favor."

"Anything."

Good. This could be a good start. One can make a wrong decision but that did not mean one cannot do something about it. This was the cue and the start of everything. There were more to come. There could be many events that he will celebrate without Mikan but this was necessary. Even though there was no guarantee that he could live up with it but for the sake of Mikan.

"Break up with me."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>If time permits, I might update this story until Chapter 24. Wish me good luck on updating. Usually, when I type a chapter I put the title last unlike now when I already have the chapter titles until 24. It's a rainy night while I was typing this down so I'm kind of hyper and I received mixed reviews from last chapter with many of them got tired of this story and completely gave up. I'll finish CY no matter what and I'm thankful for any reviews that I receive. If not for positive reviews, I will not find the urge to continue. If not for negative reviews, I will not find the urge to be better. <strong>

**Have a good day!**


	22. Having Enough of Everything

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Twenty-two**

_**Having Enough of Everything**_

He just came back from checking up his car and feeling a little thirsty, he got a glass of water from the kitchen. It was midday and yet his day was just about to start. Today was the day. He prepared lots for it and he wished his preparation was enough. Being a smart guy could really have its ups and downs, what he was about to do today just gave him both. So it was midday and he was all alone in the house. Christmas happened a few days ago and there was nothing significant about it. He celebrated it with Nobara's family and then he waited for Mikan to come when he came back but she had not come. Even though she seemed to forget him, he did not forget about her. He still bought her a gift for Christmas and for her upcoming birthday.

After today, he could already guarantee that he was not invited anymore at her birthday. Natsume smiled at himself, he was too good and too bad of a friend. Everything will be explained in the future. Right now he had to prepare for his meeting with Mikan later. Tonight, sleeping would be harder. Tomorrow, life will be tougher. Boys did not usually flaunt their emotions and they did not cry easily. Acting tough was their forte so their emotions were hidden carefully. Especially in his case wherein he learned to be untouchable for all of his life. That's what his problems did to him. It made him tougher. Although that did not necessarily entail that it made him stronger, too. That was a different story.

Whenever life came to test him, Mikan was there for him. He never asked for it but she was always beside him. He never really needed her most of the times, but she chose to stay. He was with her the whole time so a life without her would be meaningless and boring. But Natsume could never think of a problem Mikan overcame alone. She always needed help. Helping was not the problem, only the part that she always depended on him. As a girl, Mikan coped up with her problems by not eating, crying, staring at a blank space. She needed to be better than that. He wanted to teach her to live by herself. At first, it would be hard. But in the end, it might be worth it.

Aoi was scheduled to be home tonight. By then, it was good to know that there was someone who could watch over his mother while he was fixing himself. His father was another problem that he has yet to think of a solution to. Kaoru had a guess that he might be back for Christmas but he did not. That did not faltered Kaoru's hopes though. His mother believed that he will be back before New Year. If he ever did, Natsume would not know what he can do to him. His anger was so much that just by imagining his father's face made him clench his fist. His already cold heart became colder for his father.

Natsume heard a knock on the front door. He did not hesitate to open it but he wished he didn't when he saw who it was. "Natsume," Ioran greeted casually.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Natsume automatically spat.

"Wait, I'll explain." Ioran made an effort to enter the house and he achieved it.

"Get out of this house. Now!"

"This is my home, too."

"No one needs you here."

Ioran shook his head, eyeing Natsume. "That's impossible. Your mother is miserable."

Natsume pushed him once. "And that gives you enough reason to come back here just like that? You will never be good enough for this family again!"

His father remained calm because if he wouldn't, violence would be evident. "Listen, I have my reasons."

Damn his reasons. Natsume will never listen to it no matter how important it could be. He got enough troubles from his father and for the past years, he gave their family nothing but grief. Ioran did not deserve any kind of welcoming. In fact, Natsume would be more than willing to transfer houses. He never wanted a big house anyway or his family's money. Living simple was just what he needed. Ioran could take everything he had given away from them but they would still survive.

"How dare you leave just like that and come back here so randomly? How dare you put us all in complete misery? You know what, when you went missing, I secretly wished that you would never come back since there's no difference if you are here or not. It would be better if you were completely gone."

Ioran felt insulted with his son's words making him grab Natsume by the collar. "I'm still your father so you have no right to talk to me like that! And did I ever forsake you? I'm still sending money, aren't I?"

"And does that make you a father? You can give your money to your mistress. We can survive on our own."

"You got it all wrong," Ioran defended, letting go of Natsume.

"I got it all right," Natsume snarled, "Go. Don't ever come back. We never needed you anyway."

Natsume lost all his faith on his father. If Kaoru and Aoi still believed in him, well, he lost that ability a long time ago. He could not even stand seeing him, what more forgiving him. Crazy how he was just thinking about his father and suddenly he came out. If Ioran was really worth the forgiveness, then the process would be long. Ioran would have to wait or he should not wait at all because there was no chance that Natsume will forgive him. Natsume did not want the others to know about this but he doubted if his father did not call his mother beforehand. Whatever. He had to prepare now for his meeting later.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe I'm even here. Should I be covering my ears for your lecture?" Nobara asked teasingly.<p>

Nobara was more than surprise to receive a call from Mikan saying that she wanted to see her. Nobara wanted to avoid Mikan as much as possible but she could not let this opportunity pass. Although she had no idea if this meeting would lead to another catfight or an apology session. She had no idea but she wanted to talk to Mikan to also say sorry on what she had done to Natsume. She was wrong to do something as trivial as that just to see his allergic reaction. It was childish, stupid, and plain wrong. There was no excuse on what she had done and yet Mikan suffered from it. Even if Mikan apologizes or not, she would.

They were sitting, face to face at this tea shop downtown. Mikan chose the place and it was quite far from their houses but it was near a park popular in Tokyo. Christmas decorations were still up because it won't be down until New Year. Nobara knew nothing about tea but Mikan seemed to be an expert on it so she let her order for her. When they got their orders, they took a few sips but no one bothered to talk. They looked like friends that parted and now having a reunion. The tea tasted good, much to Nobara's astonishment. She wanted to take Rei here some other time.

"I want to say sorry."

Nobara stiffened, she did not expect to hear it so early. "Oh."

Mikan looked relieved. Well, she finally said the words that were inside her for a couple of days. "For everything. For acting like a bitch to you, for saying those things to you, for judging you. I should have never done any of those. You deserve more. I did all those out of jealousy, out of the idea that you will be taking Natsume completely away from me. I should have never, ever, ever thought of that. Ever. I was very wrong. There is no excuse for what I have done."

Funny how Mikan said the words that she practiced to say. Nobara wanted to say the same to her but she could not mimic her because that would be funny. "I want to say sorry to for testing your patience. I should also never have done that. I should have never let my curiosity get ahead of me. I didn't realize how dangerous it was until I saw him reacting from it. I must be mental for doing that. I apologize for firing you up with all these Natsume issues. I am so sorry."

The brunette seemed to accept her apology. "And sorry for being the bad guy," Mikan added.

"Are you sincere?" Nobara questioned.

"I am."

"Then I accept it," Nobara said with a smile.

Mikan nodded, feeling lighter than she ever was. "Thank you."

Nobara watched the brunette drink her tea. "Your friends are wrong and right at the same time, you know. Wrong because they cannot seem to forgive you and right that they had taught you a lesson."

"I know. Everything is not about Natsume. My love for him will fade but our friendship will stay."

"You really treasure your friendship."

"I do," Mikan said with a different kind of smile. "Can I make one last favor?" she requested.

"Sure."

"Please don't tell Natsume that this happened. I don't want him to know."

Another thing that surprised Nobara. She thought that Mikan was just doing this for a show but if she did not want Natsume to know, then Mikan must be really planning to stay out of their relationship. "Okay," she promised.

"And I'll be meeting him after so I hope you don't mind."

"Sure."

Nobara was having a wonderful afternoon after that. Mikan was indeed not bad at all. It was Nobara's turn to feel bad for telling to Natsume to do something about her attitude which made Nobara remember that Natsume might do something he'd regret. She suddenly had a bad feeling and started to imagine things. Natsume should use his mind this time and make the right decision. Meanwhile, until something happens, she would enjoy this afternoon tea session with her newly found possible friend Mikan Sakura.

* * *

><p>Mikan arrived a little earlier than the agreed time because Nobara said she had to go. It was earlier than expected. She checked her appearance on her mini mirror. She had her hair curled for today, wore a cute pink dress, and flat shoes. She also applied lip balm and perfume. During her first date with Natsume, she had not the time to prepare because it was too sudden and she was never informed about it. Now, she was prepared. Although this hardly counted as a date since he had a girlfriend and all, but this was one of their best friend hangouts. It was harmless to be prepared a little. Mikan prayed that he would like it.<p>

Just like the meeting with Nobara, she chose the place for the friendly date. This park had a nice ambience and there were lots of stores to check around. Mikan glanced at her watch and saw that Natsume was already late. He never was late except for the time in the Christmas Trip and now. What was happening to him? Deviating from his normal habits. A few more minutes had gone and Mikan was still willing to wait as before. Another couple of minutes went and Mikan had the urge to buy an ice cream but Natsume already came.

The smile on her face was indescribable. After patching up things with Nobara, Mikan gained the confidence to face Natsume again. Mikan had no more to hide and she was ready to be his best friend again.

"Hello! You're late."

"I had to take care of something."

Mikan grabbed his hand which he detached immediately. She would have given attention to that cold act but she was so happy right now that she ignored it. "So where are we going? It's almost dinner time so we should have dinner and I'm hungry, too. It's no joke to wait here for half an hour, you know."

"We have to talk."

Mikan nodded, still smiling despite of Natsume's cold demeanor. "Sure. We'll talk while we eat since I'm so hungry right now."

"I don't think that this is something we can talk over food," he said.

This was when Mikan began to worry. "Why? What is it about, Natsume?"

"Let's talk somewhere private."

"Is it something that we can't talk in an open space? I'm sure no one would be interested whatever that is."

"Mikan," he called out and grabbed her hand to drag her on the nearest bench.

She hesitantly sat on the bench, unprepared for whatever Natsume was going to say. "Is this about what happened at our outing because if it is, I am having it settled. Or is this about my attitude that is changing because if it is that, I'll do something about it. Is this about me being unbearable because you know I can change, Natsume."

"You know that this isn't about one incident, Mikan. This is about you and me, generally."

"What's wrong, Natsume?" Every time Natsume talked about them, it's just the wrongness of it.

"This is enough. I expected you to be the same since we met but every time that something happens, you get worse. This is not a joke, Mikan. You seriously need to get me out of your life."

Mikan smiled nervously, gripping her bag tightly. "Don't joke about that, Natsume. You know I can't live without you."

Natsume shook his head, staring at her like she was a lost cause. He did not like to break her good mood today but he must. "Exactly why I'm doing this. You are obsessed with me. This is not just love. If this is love, I would be glad about it but it just scares me. It scares me to think what you might do to yourself, it scares me to think that you would not be strong enough to handle things without me…"

"That's not true!" she interrupted.

Natsume had enough of it. If it would take too much pain just for Mikan to listen, then he would give her that. "It is! Dammit, it is!" he yelled back, standing up from his sitting position.

Mikan stood up also, gripping his shirt. "What is so wrong about the fact that I cannot live without you?"

He was trying to remove her hands but the more he did, the more she resisted. "That's just wrong, Mikan. I cannot love a person like you! Everything about this love is wrong because what you are feeling is not love. You think your life depends on me, that your whole existence is pointless without me. I don't think that way, Mikan. I could perfectly live without you. I can manage without you. See my point here? You need me so much but I don't need you. I'm freeing you from the inequality."

The words she was dreading to hear were all coming out from Natsume now. She knew it. This was all too easy for him. Leaving her alone was just a piece of cake all along and he made her believe that he needed her. He made her believe that he will stay. He made her believe that he would value their friendship more than anything else. Mikan could not understand why he was doing this. All she understood was that he gave up so easily. Natsume did not even give her the chance to prove herself.

"I'm your best friend. You promised that we will always be together."

"Nobara…"

"Nobara?" she repeated with venom. Mikan never knew that Natsume was all make-believe. He was a liar. "You are afraid to lose your girlfriend but you're not afraid to lose me, your best friend? You really don't care about me, do you? I can't believe I'm that easy to let go of. Even after ten years, I'm still nothing to you."

"You were always special to me, Mikan."

She pushed him away, refusing to believe him. "That's the same thing you said to her."

"But you need to get over of yourself."

When Mikan realized that she was pushing Natsume too much, it scared her. She grabbed Natsume by the arms and tried hugging him. "Natsume, please don't. Our friendship is more important to me than anything else. I can change. I promise."

"I don't think so, Mikan." The way he said it, so cold, so emotionless. "You are hopeless."

Mikan fought the tears hard. She was still attempting to feel him but she could not. Natsume already left her in pain. "Don't give up on me so easily," she pleaded in a weak whisper.

"Ten years are enough, Mikan."

"No, please. Don't leave me. I will change. I promise."

Natsume never heard her because he was already gone. Mikan felt her knees weaken and suddenly she fell down on the ground. Her heart was experiencing physical pain. No tears came though and she did not know why. Maybe she was too cold that it refused to come out. This was supposed to be a good day. She was supposed to make up with Natsume now and then tomorrow she'll talk with the rest of her friends. Mikan found humility, a good thing, but goodness did not find her. Just like that, everything shattered. So fast. So cruel. So painful.

Everything that happened after that went blurry. Mikan did not remember on how she hailed a cab, all she was aware of was that the driver was taking her to a familiar road. She stared at the window with her reflection vivid. Today, she lost her best friend. Good thing she did not cry in front of him. She hated it the most when Natsume sees her cry. She was still a few blocks away when she got off the taxi. Mikan sat on a bench on this bus stop near their home. There were barely passengers waiting there since most of the people in the neighborhood had their private vehicles. She was not waiting for a bus but if her mind gave it a push, she would take that ride and go somewhere far now.

Everything that they promised at each other, none of them happened. They were just pile of lies. Natsume did not even hesitate to hurt her and with that she felt lesser of herself. She would have no one to confide to without feeling uncomfortable, there would be no Movie Nights, random outing, no more weekly visit on the Hyuugas, changes would occur, and a lot more will come. She might not cry all over again because of him because she would have lesser contact with him, no more stressful nights thinking about his real feelings, heartache will lessen, and life would be boring. Mikan never let herself imagined a life without him because it was hurting her just by thinking about it. Her nightmare was coming to life and it was eating her.

Mikan could not care less about her feelings for Natsume but she was very fond of their friendship and before anything else, she would prioritize it. She no longer had her best friend for a decade. She lost a friend. Mikan could not talk, she could not find the energy to move from her place. She was caught off-guard and she hated being unprepared. Speaking of it, she really did prepare for today. She barely wears dress but she did today. All for him. And just her luck that today was the day he planned to completely crush her heart. She considered him the best friend a person could ever had and now Mikan could not remember the reason why she thought of him that way. He was slowly becoming a bad memory.

When a bus came, she stood up but not to ride it. Mikan started walking towards their home. She would have no one to walk home with starting next year. No best friend to be stubborn at every Valentine's Day. Her birthday was coming up and this had to happen. Her first birthday in ten years that she would celebrate it without her best friend. All these problems were coming to them on their tenth year as friends. Maybe that was why Natsume gave up, because he found out that she was not worth it. Her house was nearing and she could already see the full view of Natsume's house. She stared at it for a few minutes. Mikan took her time well. Natsume was too cruel to do that. He did not have to reach that far to prove a point or to teach her a lesson.

Yuka was waiting for her in the living room when she got home. Her mother was talking but she never understood a thing. Everything was in slow motion, her eyes were focusing into nothing, her breathing was deep and slow, and she never felt heavier than before. Mikan clutched her shirt on the chest part. She prayed that may her heart be stronger to face this. She never cried since Natsume told her to practically get out of his sight but her heart was screaming in pain. No words could ever describe the feeling of hurt and sadness. She was not hungry but she already found herself on a seat on the dining table. Mikan lost awareness of everything but her feelings. For her, nothing seemed to matter. Everything was just a mere blur and pointless.

She was not listening to a word Yuka was saying but she understood a sentence and that was, "Ioran came back today, Mikan. Did Natsume tell you about it?"

Mikan stood up quickly and made a run towards the Hyuugas. It was making sense now on why Natsume suddenly pushed her away. Maybe he was just thinking irrationally because of the problem with his father. He needed someone to console him now. He really did not forsake her, he was just having a messed-up mind, that's all. There was still hope and tonight they would fix this. What happened earlier was just a bad dream and sooner, she would wake up. Mikan was expecting to see a Natsume sulking in his room but when she entered it, she saw a fine Natsume. He was holding his pad and pencil again.

"I just want to know if this is about your father," Mikan began.

Natsume looked up to her with an expression so sour. "What the hell are you doing here? Can't you see it? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you. I'm getting rid of you, Mikan. Why don't you just get lost? Why are you still here?"

"I love you, Natsume." Mikan said it in a very casual way, not much passion, like it was just an everyday phrase she used. She said it again not to hear the same from him but it looked like this was the last time she would be ever saying the words to him.

Natsume threw his pad and pencil on his bed and went to Mikan. "I don't love you. I never felt it, even once. Now, have I answered your question? What else is your unfinished business with me so that we can put this to an end?"

Mikan did not seem to hear him and continued with her monologue. "Why does it hurt so much when it's you? I did everything I can to make you stay but you are still pushing me away."

"Maybe because those things made me feel more that staying with you would be a bad idea."

She stared at him with fiery eyes. She could never look at Natsume the same again. "You're so cruel. You are such a liar, Natsume. All those heartaches, you can never imagine how painful they are. All I am asking is for our friendship to stay. You have ignored all my requests to you, even the most important things to me. You are my best friend for heaven's sake."

Natsume tapped her head, making an attempt to give her that one last hug. "Grow up, Mikan. I can never be your best friend for life. There is no such thing like that."

Mikan pulled away, pushing him in the process. She wanted to go livid with that sentence. "You're my best friend!" she yelled, making sure it would reach Natsume's cold heart, "I thought even that can stay forever. I don't want to feel this hatred towards you but this is too much. I never thought I'll hate you. I never thought that I don't want to see you again. I'm so tired of believing that you could accept me more than as a friend. I didn't think that I had to fight for our friendship, too. So damn tiring."

All the weight they had been handling for years doubled because of this separation. This was the final straw. After this, no more. Whatever pain they would feel, it was just the result of this parting. They could get through this. This would teach them the lesson of a lifetime. It all ended just like that. Their friendship had reached the finish line. No more. There was nothing there.

"You can leave now."

* * *

><p>Was she building a wall? Mikan was successful so far in preventing herself from crying. Her heart was too tired and her eyes made up for it. No more tears. The effect of the separation had yet to be felt but sooner later, it would be evident. She could not talk about this to her Mom because she knew Yuka would go furious and Mikan did not want that. Things were not yet settled with Hotaru and the others so that left her to call Koko. Koko would listen. Koko would not judge her. Koko would never lie to her. Mikan secretly wished that Koko would stay as long as possible so that she would not lose a friend again. That was selfish. Mikan vowed never to think that way again.<p>

We may be surrounded by dozens of friends but only a few stay with you. A friend in need was the ultimate friend indeed. Mikan would like herself to believe that she was not facing this alone. This will not kill her, so it will make her stronger. She was waiting for Koko outside of their gate. She was just sitting there, hoping to invite Koko to a walk around the place. People were barely out around their vicinity so Mikan was more than sure that nothing would bother them. She glanced at the Hyuuga's mansion in front of her and bitterly thought how she was never gonna set foot inside of that house ever again. Natsume was not worth it anyway.

Koko came, walking, and with a smile he waved at her.

"Hey, Koko."

"What's up?" he asked, panting.

Mikan giggled, patting him in the back. "Should we take a walk?"

"Sure."

They went straight. Mikan told Koko that there was a mini forest waiting for them at the end and that it was not scary since it had been developed ever since. The trees would be lovely to look at since it had been covered by snow and dirt. Koko was surprised that there was so much nature around here. He never really toured around so there would be no chance of knowing. All he thought that this place was full of houses containing rich people.

"I just realized that I never got the chance to pay you back for all the things you have done for me," Mikan said.

Koko got distracted by watching the houses they were passing by. "I never asked you to."

The brunette nodded. With a teasing smile, she started hitting Koko's back. "So, I'll be here for you. No matter what and that is a promise."

"So cheesy."

"Aww. You are mocking me." Mikan chuckled, placing her hands on her back. "Promises are important, Koko."

Koko laughed. Indeed he was mocking her although the last sentence came to him significantly. He then remembered that Mikan's birthday would be tomorrow. "Are you going to be present tomorrow? At the New Year's Eve celebration?" he asked, hoping that she would be there.

"No. We're going to have a family dinner."

"That's great!" he exclaimed, since Koko figured that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for Mikan.

"Yes. After all the drama, we are trying to get along. When I saw the smile on my mother's face that we are going to have dinner together, I knew right at that moment that she still loves my father. Can you imagine that? Even after everything, she loves him."

"I think your father loves her, too. If he did not, he would have another family by now and he would have never come back."

"So, coming back is enough to forgive a person?" she asked sourly.

Koko shook his head, playing with the snow. "No, but it's a big factor."

Mikan stared at one point. She disagreed greatly at that statement. It was upsetting to know that that was just all it took. So unfair. "I don't think so. It's gonna take a lot more than that."

"Don't set your standards too high. Expectations are heartbreaking." Koko lectured and after a few moments when he realized that Mikan had yet to reveal to him the reason of his coming here, he decided to ask about it. "But, Mikan, that's not the reason why you called me, right?"

Mikan sat on the clean ground. "Remembered when I promised to tell you first when I fell I can't take it anymore? Well, I can't take it anymore."

"What happened?" Koko asked quickly, sitting beside her.

"He cut ties with me. He ended our friendship." She said, trembling. It was really hard to speak when you are trying your best to refrain from crying. Hugging never did the trick also. It would just make you cry more. The same could be applied when one is offering you a hanky. All those sweet deeds could just make you cry more. "Oh, I swore to God, I won't cry again."

"When did this happen?"

"A few days ago."

"What was Natsume thinking?" Koko asked in disbelief.

"It was not sudden, Koko. He thought of it very well."

"But you are best friends," he pointed out.

"I know," Mikan said in a firm voice. "I won't let him hurt me again. This is too much. All of them gave up on me. Ruka, Hotaru, Anna, Nonoko and now Natsume."

Koko shook his head, dismissing Mikan's perception of it. No, they did not give up on her. He knew that because he just did. "They did not, Mikan. I'm sure they have a reason."

"Then why are you still here? Aren't you supposed to have the same reason?"

"My role is different."

Honestly, this was the last time Koko's going to perform his role as a consoler. Mikan did not want him to be that person in her life. Koko was more than that. He was a good, good friend just like everybody else. "Yes, you are more understanding. I feel so terrible right now. Somehow, I'm having an idea why father left me before, it's because staying with me was a bad idea."

"Don't say that. He is coming back, right? He came back, Mikan. He searched for you."

"And what if he sees something is wrong with me? He'll leave me again?"

"Nothing is wrong with you, Mikan."

"With all what is happening, it's hard for me to think that there isn't."

Koko showered her with reasons that she was not a failure. "You are perfect just the way you are."

Mikan smiled at his effort but coming from Koko, she knew he was being sincere. "So cheesy," she teased in return. Koko just gave a sheepish smile that made him look adorable. Mikan then patted his cheeks twice and stood up. "This is my cue now. I am really gonna change. They are not gonna hurt me again."

* * *

><p>Aoi was cleaning up her room when she heard a noise from the hallway. When she found nothing but another noise of glasses being broken came, she knew where to go. Quickly, she barged into Natsume's room which was a big, big mess. Papers were scattered all over the floor and his drawing materials were everywhere. The lights were off and the curtains were closed. Aoi was worried to discover her brother in that state. She had never seen him like that before. Natsume was on the bed. Even his bed was in complete disarray. It was a very unlikely thing to see from Natsume.<p>

She reached for him but he resisted. Aoi checked for any signs of alcohol present in the room but there was none. All Natsume did was put his frustrations in his drawing. She felt for his brother, with all this stress and responsibility. Aoi saw herself in him and it was a terrible sight, not just that, it was hard to heal.

"Natsume?"

He did not reply instantly but when he did that when Aoi noticed that he was holding a sketchpad but there was nothing in it. "You know what I did the other day? I did a good thing."

"What have you done?" she asked, worried on what she'll know.

Natsume threw away the pad on the wall, scaring Aoi. "I realized that the only way she could set herself free is if I cut contact with her. This is probably what's best for her. This is the only way I could think of. I did the right thing."

"Why?"

"She needs to live without me. How can she do that if we're sticking up with each other always?"

"So you pushed her away."

"I did the right thing."

Aoi could clearly see that Natsume was just convincing himself. She was stunned to hear that Natsume did such thing. Aoi could not think if who is the one that would benefit more in what he had done. Natsume had become a mess more than Mikan did. Her little brother was becoming like this because of a girl. The same thing happened to her a few years ago. Oh, she could have prevented this from happening again.

"Maybe all these problems are just piling up and pressuring you," Aoi was trying to reason out.

"No, I've thought of it a long time ago."

She was crying for her little brother. This was too much. "Now, you are both broken, Natsume."

"We're broken now so we need fixing. She needs to fix herself without my presence and help."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because she's my best friend."

In the end, that was the reason. Fate was too cruel on them for this to happen. More wounds to heal and more time to wait. Whatever comes along the way, Aoi promised to be with her little brother. Especially now that she seemed to be the only one who knew the reason behind everything. Aoi admired Natsume even more today because he could be brave enough to let go of Mikan for her own good. It might be hard to understand and being misunderstood was a common happening but she would stand with her brother.

"What a very strong friendship," Aoi commented, wiping her tears.

Natsume nodded, feeling more terrible at himself. "And on top of that, I love her so much."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>The end is near, guys! A few more chapters 'till the end so don't kill me now. <strong>


	23. Cry then Smile

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Twenty-three**

_**Cry then Smile**_

After Christmas, after New Year, Valentine's Day was next. Valentine's Day was much celebrated in high school and without a doubt, today would be a busy day for all those popular and wishful students. February 14th was a day some desire not to come because of two main reasons: receiving too many gifts and not receiving any gift at all. It was the day that would make you envious because a boy was ought to give a bouquet of flowers to someone and a girl was happily carrying a cute bag full of handmade chocolates. Today was a day of confession, sweet moments, and not-so-stolen kisses. Lovely, wasn't it? It sounded so dreamy and perfect but not everyone considered V-day as the day of days. Some just considered this day just like any other day. Nothing special about it.

Hotaru opened her newly-painted locker with ease. When she pulled the handle, there came the letters and gifts. She closed it with force with an annoyed look. Now she had to change the combination because the creeps on her school were way smarter than the one who thought of the security feature of this handle. Mikan giggled at her friend's reaction. What a mystery that Hotaru was still not used to this kind of appreciation even it was shown annually.

"Woah."

Hotaru rolled her eyes, walking on the opposite direction from where they came. "Right."

"That's a lot of gift. What are you gonna do with them?" Mikan asked, aiming to tease her and on the same time to have the chocolates. Well, she loved sweets and she knew Hotaru would just waste it by throwing it on the garbage truck so might as well have 'em.

"You can have them."

Perfect. Mikan knew it could be that easy. Transactions with Hotaru were only easy every Valentine's because this was the day the Ice Queen was bothered and could almost agree to anything. "Really, Hotaru?"she asked for confirmation, making sure there would be no turn backs.

Hotaru paused from walking to look at her with sharp eyes. "I just said it, right?"

Mikan nodded, jumped in joy. "Yey!"

Actually, it was the least Hotaru could do for Mikan in this another lonely day for her. After they said apologies to each other a month ago, everything was going well between them. Like nothing happened. Hotaru still remembered when Mikan came to their house, knocking annoyingly. The brunette came with nothing but her apologies. Before she forgot, Mikan also came with the promise that she will never cry again for the person she cried for ten years. At the time, Hotaru thought that they had a fight again and sooner it will be over but that was not seem to be the case. Back to the apologies, Hotaru said her admission of guilt too and even stated that she was wrong for blaming Mikan in her reaction as a best friend. Hotaru said that she had no right to stop her from feeling something and expressing it.

Mikan simply smiled at her. Hotaru did not understand the reaction she got from Mikan since it was irrelevant at that time but had forgotten about it anyway. In school, Mikan apologized to the rest. The brunette was so humble for doing that, something that Hotaru never imagined if she can do the same. Anna and Nonoko were very emotional on Mikan's comeback, a proof that these two missed the bubbly, stupid girl so much. That was a month ago but it felt so recent.

The halls of Alice Academy were decorated with balloons, ribbons, and mostly red papers. Good work, Creative Committee. At the middle of January, the lockers were repainted although it didn't need repainting. After the repainting weekend, Mikan suddenly moved into the locker beside Hotaru and suddenly the annoying boy owning the locker beside hers was gone. Hotaru did not ask anymore question because she already knew the answer. Mikan must have used her special closeness with Serina-sensei for her locker to be changed. Although it was still a big mystery to Hotaru why. The best friends must have had a big fight for such a move to happen or they talked about this so Mikan could start the moving on phase. This time, Hotaru asked her about this but she refused to say anything, even changing the topic.

"Can you tell me how you got Serina-sensei into changing your locker?"

Mikan stole a heart-shaped balloon on the Principal's office door before answering. "Oh, you know, we're close."

Natsume Hyuuga just passed while Mikan was busy smiling at the tiny balloon. There was no eye contact, small greeting, or whatsoever. Weird was the right word to describe it. Actually, Hotaru already had a premonition that Mikan could not take not talking to Natsume and will give tons of chocolates to him on V-day but so far nothing like that happened and honestly, it didn't seem like it was bound to happen.

"Are you and Hyuuga into some cold war again?"

"Why do you say?"

"Today is February 14th, Mikan. Where's the chocolate? The letter? And you are not talking to him for more than a month now."

Mikan laughed. There was a trace of nervousness and sadness on it. "Well, don't worry. You'll get used to this."

The sentence was very alarming and at the same time relieving. Alarming because Mikan talked like that little something between her and Natsume was already finished. Relieving because Mikan seemed to be taking this better than Hotaru had imagined. Different messages aired all over the school through the campus radio. Not only messages for their current fling but also confessions. There was this one confession from a known shy girl sprouting her admiration for her senior. So sweet it made them stop from their tracks. Mikan displayed an unlikely reaction which was laughing. She was laughing at the confession. Very unusual. Hotaru was about to ask her what was funny but then she already wore her earphones.

"Where are you going?" Hotaru asked to Mikan's already walking figure.

Mikan turned with a carefree smile and pointed on the double door reading area. "Free period. I'll just hang out with my iPod." Not the best place to spend a free time but since it was the place second nearest to food, next to the cafeteria of course, Mikan would surely have no problem.

She must had been so engrossed with the music in her iPod because she did not even notice that she passed by the three idiots who were not exactly idiots.

"So cold," Ruka commented mindlessly, referring to Mikan's odd behavior of ignoring them.

Just in time that they entered cafeteria, there stood a girl who was blushing hardly and holding a heart-shaped box of chocolate. She was pushed by her two friends. Natsume stayed with his cold expression. Koko grinned. Ruka gulped. It was for Ruka. These three were used to this and they already knew what would happen. Natsume walked ahead and Koko followed him like a lost puppy. Ruka sighed at how different he and Natsume when it comes to dealing with girls. If Natsume had always pushed them away, Ruka would appreciate them.

"Thanks," Ruka said gently, smiling sweetly at her as he held the box.

The girls were gone after that. Ruka followed his two friends, eyeing no one. He was undecided on what to do with the chocolates since he was not fond of it that much. He had no siblings to give it to although his mother could be a choice. The cafeteria was livelier than before and even though it was a normal scene, it was not normal for them.

"Stop being kind to them and your problem will be solved," Natsume said.

Ruka eyed Natsume with a crooked smile. "I needed to act like you?"

"Funny," Natsume said in sarcasm, unhappy.

Koko talked after watching the two bickering on how to handle girls. "It's a good thing I don't have problems like yours. It seems like a really hard task to deal with." The two just stared at him like he was talking such nonsense. "Hey, I may not be good-looking but at least I don't face pointless problems like you guys do."

"Agree," Ruka said.

So their daily cafeteria scene involved eating and chatting with Mikan. The former was still happening though the latter was not anymore. It just stopped. Mikan had been avoiding them and according to Ruka's observation, Koko had a constant communication with her. Ruka could not get a decent answer from Natsume and he also would not ask Koko because he thought that his goofy friend was not that involved. Oh how wrong he was. Onto the real problem which was Natsume being so moody and unaffected at the same time. Seriously, Ruka could swear that sometimes Natsume was such a girl for being bipolar, though he would never dare to say that aloud.

The same loudness and sensible sound erupted in the whole cafeteria. The arrangement of the chairs and tables was the same. The favorable menu had not changed. Even the source of ventilation was untouchable. But there was this different feeling that Ruka was getting. Like the second this year started something already happened, he just had not the idea what could it be.

"Did something happen, Natsume?" he asked again, hoping to have a clue at least.

"What?"

"Mikan is not here which is weird and you've been treating each other like strangers. She apologized to us a long time ago. Didn't she do that same with you?" Ruka did not regret how girly his sentences were just to have the slightest clue.

"Let's not talk about her," Natsume said grimly.

Ruka sighed in annoyance, turning to Koko. "How about you, Koko? Do you know something? You are quite close to her so she must have said something."

"I don't really know what you mean," Koko lied, acting innocent while sipping his drink.

"I said let's not talk about her anymore," Natsume repeated with a voice louder than normal.

With that, Ruka already had an idea but he wanted a confirmation. "Okay," he said in defeat. Well, he was no match to an angry Natsume. He did not talk anymore and just focused on the food in front of him.

Lunch time was longer than usual. Was it because they ate too fast? Ruka did not think about it anymore because he had a test to concentrate on. Actually, they had all a test to concentrate on that was why Koko was sweating and cramming and Natsume looked like he was gonna sleep anytime. Unlike him, Natsume did not need to review or anything because he already knew what to do. Smart ass. Their peace and serenity got disturbed when a very familiar brunette was walking towards their direction. Right at that moment, Ruka tried to see Natsume's reaction.

Natsume stared at her and instantly knew that she was drowned into her own world again. If Mikan would approach their table, he would have no complains about it. Mikan was better. She had not changed a bit but her smile became happier. Natsume was glad that she was doing fine unlike him who was dying every day, restraining himself from talking to her. As long as he could make the people around him believe that he was fine then there would be no problem. He almost forgot that today was Valentine's Day. He missed walking with her to get to school. He missed her. The outcome of his actions backfired to him but it was ten times more painful. But the pain would be worth it if Mikan would learn.

His heart was twisting just seeing Mikan so Koko approaching her did not make him feel any better. Again with this stupid jealousy over his former best friend and friend. How ironic that Koko might have the feelings for her. But then again, he might not have, remembering the time back in the Organization Ball where Koko forced him to say the magic words. Natsume could not help but watch them at the sidelines and imagine that he used to be that comfortable with Mikan.

"Hey, Koko! I just want to say that this music therapy is really effective."

"Glad to know."

Mikan studied the menu written on the board. "So, what's up?" she asked as she grabbed a tray which she almost drop.

"Are you okay?" Koko asked immediately.

"Want to know the truth?" she asked, smirking. Koko just gave him a nod and Mikan could just laugh at his seriousness. She tried her best not to look at Natsume's table. _It will just hurt_, she reminded herself. "I'm perfectly imperfect but I'm happy."

"That's it?" Koko was unsatisfied.

Mikan paid the cashier. "What? Do you want me to feel miserable on this fine day?"

"No."

She lifted her tray, posing a solemn expression. "Then stop asking me questions that are so personal. Go to your class, will you?"

Koko smiled, knowing that Mikan was playing around for the nth time. "Again with the command. How about you?"

"Free period," she replied and grabbed her sandwich and drink, leaving the tray on its proper place.

"Lucky."

"Doomed," she teased, pointing at him.

Koko giggled. "See you later."

Mikan simply waved at him. She then exited the cafeteria and finally was able to breathe normally again. It was still hard to act normal around Natsume. She also needed to stop thinking about him and just think of new ways to spend the remaining minutes of her free time. Good thing that Alice Academy's stone benches barely had people today. They must all be walking like they were in some park, holding hands. Mikan was about to take her seat when a voice surprised her making her choke on her drink.

"Hello, Mikan. Are you having a good day?"

Mikan regained normal speaking mode when she answered to Nobara. "As a matter of fact, I am having a good one."

"Happy Valentine's Day."

"To you too. Have fun with your date."

Nobara had a questioning look, observing Mikan as she took her seat. "What date?" she asked.

"Huh?" Mikan asked in return.

They exchanged looks before Nobara nodded. "Oh, I get it. Don't worry about it." Nobara almost forgot that Mikan had no idea. Oh well, it would be explained later. For now, Nobara had to trust Natsume with this but she did not promise she would stay back because she was a major part of this.

"Who says I am?"

Nobara smiled, a true smile. "See you around."

Then, Nobara happily approached Yura who was standing impatiently at the hallway. Yura had given her the red rose Rei asked her to deliver. At first, she did not know if she would accept it or not but her peace process with Rei was going well so there was no reason to deny the flower. She would have studied the flower more if Yura had not distracted her with complaints and funny remarks.

"You're talking to Mikan Sakura?" Disbelief was evident on Yura's voice.

"She's not bad. You should talk to her one of these days."

"Yeah right. As if I'll do that."

Nobara did not miss her friend's snort. "Trust me when I say that she's not all bad," she said, trying to convince her.

"I don't need a freak like her in my life," Yura declared dramatically.

Nobara frowned at her, sad at the fact that Yura did not know what kind of a good friend she was bashing. Mikan was nice and not as possessive as they knew. "No need to be so rude, Yura."

The girl once Mikan rivaled with took one glance at her before proceeding with her next class. Nobara would never forget Mikan's humility and undying love. The brunette was indeed much better than her in every angle and aspect of life. No wonder Natsume loved Mikan. No wonder Natsume could not afford to love her. No wonder this love story was so twisted. A happy ending was inevitable but they need to work hard for it.

After eating, Mikan glanced at her watch and realized that she had a few more minutes but made her way towards the classroom nevertheless. While walking, she saw a boy giving flowers to a girl. The bouquet of flowers made her jealous for not receiving a single stalk but then again today was just another day. Valentine's Day would pass and the coming days would be more significant. Actually, Mikan felt stupid on why she was feeling like this. Having a love life was not something you should die for. Having a peaceful life should be her goal. Happiness was just around the corner and she did not need to chase it because it will come to her willingly.

When Mikan was two classrooms away from her homeroom, she saw her favorite teacher of all time. The one who supported her even though she was not his student anymore. Mikan considered him the father she had yet to have. Narumi-sensei was checking his lesson plan for the day. Before, he was assigned to teach sophomores but this year he was tasked to teach seniors that was why Mikan never got the chance to be in his class. Mikan wished that he would be her teacher next year.

"Narumi-sensei."

Narumi closed his planner and automatically smiled at Mikan. "How are you, my dear student?"

Mikan pouted, swaying side to side. "I'm living," she answered.

"I was so worried when I heard from Serina."

"I know you're a big fan. Sorry about that."

"No need to be sorry for me. I am more concerned for you."

During hard times, the people who really cared for you come out. Just like today. "More than a month passed and the pain is still the same but seeing him doing fine gives me the strength to be fine on my own, too. Besides I have my other friends that are more than willing to help me. I know they'll never forsake me like he did."

"I can't imagine a Mikan without Natsume and a Natsume without Mikan," Narumi said sadly.

"That's life, Narumi-sensei. Nothing is ever permanent."

"Be strong, Mikan. And keep smiling, it's your best quality."

Smiling was easy. True smile was not. But people could be easily deceived by what they see and hear because they were concerned more of the exterior rather than what was really inside. There were no exceptions. Even so, people were people. Just like her who got deceived easily. Now, she had learned. She had more reasons to smile now than before. She was freed from her pain. Mikan was surprised at that realization. No way.

"Thank you so much, Narumi-sensei."

"Never cry, my dear. Serina and I will always be here for you."

Mikan could not express her gratitude more. She was feeling emotional at her Narumi-sensei's precious words. She was wrong to think that Natsume was the one who could only make her happy. People like Narumi-sensei were always there for her, she was just too blind to see it. "Thank you," she choked out. Mikan could cry in front of her second father but now was not such a good time so she just did not stop thanking her Narumi-sensei in exchange for the tears.

* * *

><p>Two days after Heart's Day the girls decided to dine in a fast food chain near the school. It was just a few meters away from Alice Academy's main gate so there was no hassle going there. As usual, Anna and Nonoko ordered the food. The weather was slowly changing. The snow and cold wind were still fresh in Mikan's mind like it was just yesterday but now the temperature was getting back to normal. No more heavy clothes and no more dangerous weather. Looking outside, Mikan remembered how Yuka hated the heat. Her mother was one of those people who hated perspiration leading to that sticky feeling. It was funny for Mikan but certainly not for her mother. Mikan thought how many seasons could she last not talking to Natsume? Every time she would see him, there was no denying that she wanted to talk to him and patch things up.<p>

Anna ordered a sundae which Mikan forgot to add on her list of order. No worries, there were a lot of next time but she was craving for it suddenly.

"You know what's next?" Nonoko asked, placing their food on the respective location.

"What?" Mikan asked, still eyeing the sundae.

"You honestly don't know?" Anna asked, taking a spoon her cold dessert.

Mikan sipped from her drink. "No," she straightly answered.

"The idiot forgot it," Hotaru easily concluded.

Nonoko rolled her eyes, annoyance was evident on her expression. "How can you? It's summer vacation!"

Mikan almost spitted her drink when summer was mentioned. She almost thought she was forgetting a very important day. "That is still far from now," she said, snorting.

Anna gave the tray on the patrolling crew before answering Mikan. "But we have to plan this early. We have lots of choices. We can swim, we can camp, we can party, we can go to the mall!" she explained excitedly. Right now, Anna was having too much plans for summer vacation. It was the longest of all vacation so it should really be a productive one.

"Shopping is boring," Mikan said dismissively. Shopping was never appealing to her unless it was necessary.

"No, it's not!" Anna disagreed, shutting Mikan up for a few seconds.

Mikan slumped on her seat, playing with the straw of her drink. "Sorry guys. I already made plans."

"What? With Natsume?" Anna asked automatically.

Natsume was still a part of her, wasn't he? They were still considered the unbreakable team. Funny how his name could not be separated with hers. Sometimes, Mikan would think that the closest persons to her would not believe that she and Natsume had parted ways already. She too thought it was impossible but it already happened so nothing was really impossible. Funny how people thought that she was still associated with him but she had no right to complain since this was just a result of her so called obsession.

"No. My dad and I talked about this a long time ago. I'll be spending the whole summer with him."

"Mikan," Hotaru called.

"What?"

Hotaru's face was stern, unreadable, and startling. "Why are you telling us just now?" she hissed.

Anna and Nonoko were worried for Mikan but the brunette dismissed Hotaru's disappointment. "Guys, it's still too far and besides, it slipped my mind."

"You should have told us sooner," Hotaru said sharply.

Mikan shrugged. "I'm sorry."

Anna and Nonoko's eyes landed on Mikan before to Hotaru's who began talking again. "It's okay. Just promise us that you'll have fun with your Dad."

The brunette could breathe again properly. "Thanks, guys."

"By the way, where is he residing?" Nonoko asked out of curiosity.

"Los Angeles," Mikan answered as she munched her burger.

Nonoko's jaw literally dropped. "What? Are you serious?"

Mikan giggled, finishing her burger faster than usual which surprised them. "I don't see the reason why he'll lie about his current residence."

"You mean you're flying to L.A this summer? I'm so envious!" Anna exclaimed, attracting attention.

Mikan's lips turned into a thin line, blinking out of surprise from the two's expression. "Don't be. You'll enjoy more here." She was being genuine when she said that but the two did not care because they were already thinking how much fun L.A would be. The news that her Dad was residing in Angeles surprised her too, thinking that her father flew all the way from L.A just to dine with her. Another shocking news was that her father owned the restaurant they dined. No wonder he was so familiar with the food.

Nonoko frowned, feeling sad that her summer would be the same unlike Mikan that would ride a plane and enjoy L.A like those people on television. "I want to go out of the country, too."

Mikan focused on her fries. "You can, you just don't want to."

Nonoko shook her head, eating her food. "Nah uh. I want to but I can't."

"Why?" Hotaru asked but she was not really interested.

"Family reasons," Nonoko answered shortly, not wanting to elaborate more.

"I see."

"How about you, Hotaru? Any plans?" Mikan asked this time, diverting the attention from her.

Hotaru nodded and disregarded her finished food. "I'll be preparing for my entrance examinations this summer. In case you've forgotten, next year is our last year in high school."

"Yeah, sad." Another reason for Nonoko to frown.

Mikan pinched Nonoko's cheeks, making the blue-haired girl yelp in pain. "Stop sulking. We still have two summer vacation together."

"Didn't you say that you'll be spending your whole summer abroad?" Anna asked.

The brunette shrugged, reminding herself of her planned schedule for the upcoming summer. She already made a timeline about it last year. Mikan did not know her timeline could be useful in explaining at this kind of situation. "I did but that doesn't mean I will not get the chance to bond with you. I'll be back earlier than you think."

"We're gonna miss you," Anna admitted.

"Too early for that," Hotaru commented.

Anna stuck her tongue to Hotaru but cut it out immediately when she remembered the question she was meaning to ask Mikan since yesterday. "Have you given your chocolate to Natsume?" she asked.

"I don't have one to give him," Mikan responded casually, readying her things.

Nonoko glanced at Anna who was having the same idea as hers before looking at Mikan. "You know what, I've been noticing something. You guys aren't talking for more than a month now and this has been the longest cold war you have. He looks fine and you look fine which are very wrong. You have prepared nothing for Valentine's Day. Natsume is barely seen with Nobara. Something is really up, Mikan. What is it that you're not telling us?"

"Yes, Mikan. What is it?" Anna followed.

Mikan stood up. Yes, she was not going to answer the question. "Lunch is over. We don't want to be late, do we?" On that cue, the rest of them stood up also. Now Mikan would not have to answer their question. Natsume was not a part of her life anymore. She wished her friends would understand that and stop mentioning his name which she could not even say aloud.

* * *

><p>The time when ice cream was very in demand came. The time when nothing could stop you from going out. The time when ganging up with your classmates to tease a friend would be much more awesome. So many sensible things were out there, waiting to be done. Ruka and Koko could not wait to be finish with watering the plants surrounding the Science building. They were doing the chore for almost an hour and the commanding voice of the head janitor was not helping. What a grave punishment for such light act. Watering the plants was easy, sure, but doing it under this heated sun was dreadful. The two exchanged looks, simultaneously shook their heads, and sighed.<p>

"Man, it's hot." Koko complained, wiping his sweat.

Ruka frowned, wiping his sweat too. "Stop complaining," he said under his breath. It was obvious that the hotness of the weather was beginning to get inside his head.

Koko dropped the hose mindlessly, wetting his shoes. He stomped his right foot, annoyed at what happened, and returned to watering the plants. "Why are we doing this again?" he whined.

"You broke the rules," Ruka grumbled, reminding himself that getting angry would be pointless.

"Ah, yes. Sorry about that." Koko was really apologetic, regretting that his friend needed to suffer at his act that was meant to be a joke. "I was just playing around," he added.

"And I needed to suffer to. How unlucky."

"Come on. A pail of water on top of Jinno's head is not so bad."

"Give me a break," Ruka growled.

"Enjoying yourselves?" a voice asked.

"Natsume!" greeted Koko.

The crimson-eyed boy turned to Koko, grinning at him. "Don't start wailing on me, Koko."

"But it's summer, it's hot, and I think I'm gonna pass out anytime."

"Stop overreacting also," Natsume added in his husky voice.

"We're doing a good thing so this is not bad after all," Ruka said, trying to convince them but in reality he was convincing himself.

"Koko! Ruka!" a voice interrupted and it was coming from the window on their right.

"Mikan?" Koko called.

Mikan reached out two papers to Koko and smiled like it was a job well done when Koko received it. "Jinno-sensei gave me this. You just need to sign those." She then noticed Natsume's presence. This was the closest point she saw him since that fateful day and she could see that nothing had changed. He was still Natsume. Well, their separation was more of a benefit for him than her.

"Why you?" Ruka asked, getting a paper from Koko.

Mikan crossed her arms, eyeing them like she was some superior, and then giggled at them for having such punishment. "I've gone under the same process, if you may recall."

"Didn't know about that," Ruka said, reading the content.

Natsume accepted the fact that she was treating him like an invisible kid. He asked for this so no protest. Mikan wore the same radiant smile she used to flash at him except that it was not directed at him now. The way she giggled at Ruka and Koko's punishment made him remember the way she beamed at him when her library work was over back at the day when Jinno punished her too. He waited for her that day and not the other way around. The good old days were gone now. Mikan was just the girl leaning on that tall window, making fun of his two friends. No more.

Mikan waved dismissively. "Not important. See you around!"

Today, she was stronger by a centimeter. She did not budge much when she saw Natsume with the boys. Her astonishment when his presence graced her was unnoticeable although every time she would see him, the memories kept on flooding her but she dismissed them successfully. No one could move on just like that, unless you did not love the person, so this process might take years but Mikan was willing to wait. She exited the room quietly, delighted that she was seeing a friend.

"Hey, Sumire."

Sumire turned around, lifting the pen she was holding in midair. "Mikan. Just right in time. I have a few questions to ask."

"I refuse to answer," Mikan quickly said, knowing fully what it was about.

"No, stupid. I won't write this on the paper."

Mikan sighed. "Fine. What's it?"

Sumire looked pleased, with her nodding and all. "Did you and Natsume finally put an end to everything? What really happened, Mikan? How long is this happening? Nobara Ibaragi, what happened to her? The rumors are going all around but I won't believe a thing unless it's gonna come from you."

Mikan laughed at Sumire's way of asking, bombarding her with questions. She wanted to say that yes, they put an end to everything even to their friendship. What really happened was hard to explain. It was a long story and Mikan did not want to go in detail because it will just hurt. She wanted to say to Sumire to believe everything she was hearing. So, rumors were spreading. Their tandem had been really popular so there was no surprise to this.

"The thing about rumors, Sumire, is that sometimes they are true."

Sumire put her hands over her mouth in astonishment. "Oh, gosh."

Mikan smiled, waved delicately at Sumire who was still in shock. "See you around, Sumire."

* * *

><p>Nobara hurriedly made her way to their clubroom because of the knowledge that Natsume was there. She needed an advice on her current project and she needed to talk to him, just to check how he was doing behind all this drama. The school was starting to be empty soon because dismissal time already came and the sun was already setting. She knocked three times before entering the premises, smiling when a painting Natsume greeted her sight first. Nobara rarely saw Natsume actually painting, so this was a once in a blue moon chance. She could see the streaks of paint in his arms and face, making him hotter than ever. His concentration was completely on what he was doing that was why he did not seem to notice the knocks she made.<p>

"Hello. How are you?" she asked, making Natsume look at her.

Natsume glanced for a second and resumed his work. "Do you need to ask?"

Nobara went to the window, leaning there. "I need to know," she answered, not bothering to look at Natsume's work because she did not want to see it until it was finished.

"I'm fine."

"Just not happy," she added.

"What?" Natsume asked, clueless.

Nobara tried hand gestures when she was finding the right words to say, even scratching her forehead because of loss of words. "Your eyes are dead. Your aura is different. Without Mikan, I know it's hard for you."

"You wouldn't know," Natsume said, knowing that no one could actually understand how hard it was for him.

Nobara looked defeated, admitting at Natsume's statement. She wanted to comfort him, to console him like what a good friend will do. Maybe that was why she rarely sees Natsume painting in school, because he would always do it home. Home where he would find peace of mind but now even his own home seemed like a messy place to be around. "Yes, I wouldn't. But it doesn't take a genius to tell that you're broken."

"This is none of your business."

"Indeed."

"You can go now."

She had always hated that attitude of his where he would push the people trying to help him out.

"Natsume, I wish you'll use this summer vacation as a time for thinking. Think about what happened for the past years. I'm sure you'll realize something."

* * *

><p>"Curious?" Aoi asked.<p>

He was surprised to see her there without permitting to enter his room or he just did not hear her knock because he was too focused on the scene from his window. Mikan was exiting their house with baggage, like she was going somewhere and will stay there for a long time. It alarmed Natsume but never will he admit it. Yuka was rechecking her things with Mikan nodding every time Yuka would be asking something. He should be saying his goodbyes to her now but that was uncalled for now. Although one thing had not changed and that was the fact that he will miss her.

"No," he lied.

"She's going to spend her vacation with her father," Aoi still answered. "It's not so sudden, Natsume." She said it as if answering the question she could read from his face.

"She never told me."

Aoi slumped on his bed, feeling the softness of it and remembering how her bed was less soft. "Maybe because she thought it wasn't worth mentioning," she said carelessly, fully aware that it will hurt Natsume.

"How do you know this?" Natsume asked demandingly.

Aoi shrugged, snorting at Natsume for not being so observant. "I talk to her. Well, Mikan is a bit different now. Before, all we talk about it is you, you, and you. Now, we can't seem to find a good topic."

"Is she holding up well?" he asked out of concern.

"Better than you, I can tell." Aoi told him honestly and by the way he answered it wordlessly, she knew that he agreed with her. "Why are you keeping this, Natsume?" she asked, hoping her unanswered question would finally be answered.

He looked down, weary, tired, torn, and helpless. "This is necessary," he answered but it did not reach Aoi's satisfaction.

"Are you ready to spend your vacation without her?"

Natsume smiled at the stupid question. "I'll be fine."

"I know."

"Then stop worrying," he blurted in annoyance.

"I can't."

His face soured, fed up of the repetitive questions that he refused to answer ever since. "Why the hell not?" he growled. Really, he was starting to get heated up with all these interrogations. They did not know that asking will just make him remember.

"Because you're not happy," he heard her sister said.

"Yeah, right. Since when did I get desperate for happiness?" he spat.

Aoi placed a concerned expression, feeling sorry for her brother. "Never. Because you thought you'll always have her."

"I am the one who left and not her," Natsume pointed out, his voice was still edgy.

Aoi shook her head. "Doesn't change a thing," she retorted quickly making Natsume silent again.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you! <strong>

**P.S: I live in a tropical country. So there. I hope you understand. Thanks again. **


	24. Regret is a Bad Feeling

**A/N: **I dedicate this chapter for all my readers who can relate to Chasing You in one way or another. I just realized how many of you can relate to this story. Thank you for reading. Thank you for sharing your stories with me. Thank you for trusting me.

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Twenty-four**

_**Regret is a Bad Feeling**_

**From: **mikan_thegreat

**Subject: **First week

_God, Koko. It's so different here. I've met my relatives from Dad's side and gosh was it awkward. I hope we will get along better on the coming days. Dad said there are a lot of places to visit and two months might just not be enough but I dismissed the idea of staying here. He noticed that I am not in my usual cheery mood and I said I'm just fine because I don't want to have a girl talk with him but he didn't let go off the issue that easily so I told him a bit about Natsume which was very hard but it made feel lighter. He consoled me. He said that he had gone through the same process but I didn't ask him anymore because I don't think I'm ready to hear it. Actually, I don't know if being here will do me good or bad. I was thinking earlier if I am just running away. Oh well, did I write much? I forgot to ask how are you and the others as well? Are you having a fun vacation? Reply immediately, will you? : ) _

_-Mikan_

* * *

><p><strong>From: <strong>kokomunch

**Subject: **First weeks!

I am having a fantastic summer! Well, not really. But I'm enjoying it. We had a family outing the other day which I enjoyed so much. By the way Anna and the rest are planning to have an outing on the last week of summer vacation. Will you be here already by that time? Let me tell you in detail what are the others up to. Anna is having some summer lessons pertaining to cooking. Oh, I'm getting hungry! Nonoko is taking gardening to a whole new level. Hotaru is already preparing for entrance exams! She's so earnest. Ruka volunteered to an animal clinic. You don't know how surprised I am to hear this. Ahmm, Natsume went out of town courtesy of his sister. I think they are going to spend millions this summer. Well, I was just exaggerating if you noticed.

Mikan, don't think too much okay? Enjoy your time with your Dad and I'm sure that Hotaru and the rest will say the same thing. Smile, will you? : ))

-Koko

* * *

><p><strong>From: <strong>mikan_thegreat

**Subject: **So sorry for the late reply!

_I've been busy. How are you, Koko? Being away from you guys makes me miss Japan so much. I've been sending e-mails to my Mom but she wouldn't reply. Gah, I'm thinking she's having a great time. By the way, I followed your advice. It seems to help me. I asked my father yesterday, you know, on what happened all these years. It turned out he had always looked out for me. I cried in front of him, blaming him for my lack of confidence that people around me will stay. Ugh, too much drama! But we had fun. We toured around. My cousins here are much more energetic than me I tell you. They are one of the reasons why this vacation is getting better. When I read your last e-mail, I realized that everyone is busy doing their own thing. Why don't you meet up? _

_-Mikan _

* * *

><p><strong>From: <strong>kokomunch

**Subject: **Planning Stage

Mikan, we met up yesterday and talked about the outing I've mentioned to you before. We were all wondering when you will be coming back so we can set the date already. Natsume was absent yesterday though. I guess he was being super busy buying things but we texted him and he replied. It's nice to know that you are doing well. Are you starting to accept your father? I know these things should be asked personally but since you are far and I am unable to reach you in a glimpse, I'll just ask by mail. If it will help, try new things there. Now is the perfect time to take risks, Mikan.

-Koko

* * *

><p><strong>From: <strong>mikan_thegreat

**Subject: **Ooooh

_I'll be back seven days before classes resume. Just give me the important details so I can ask permission to Mom as soon as possible. She replied to my e-mails. Finally! Just as I suspected, she was having an adventurous summer. I mentioned to my Dad that I want to do something extreme this summer and he said that he'll teach me how to skate. What the! I didn't know he can do that. We are getting closer as days pass and I'm fully convinced now that my decision of coming here is correct. I'm glad to meet them all. But I'm happier to know my father slowly. Can you believe it? Two weeks had passed! I'll be here for three more weeks. That is so much time so I hope I'll do something risky as you say. Send my greetings to them. Tell them I miss them so much and cannot wait to see them._

_-Mikan_

* * *

><p><strong>From: <strong>kokomunch

**Subject: **Ugh…girls!

I almost died today after they knew that you are mailing me while they don't receive any! Please, Mikan, spare me and communicate with them already. By the way, I'm glad you're doing something different. I always thought you are the kind of girl who wouldn't get out of the box. Teach me how to skate when you learn. :D Wait, is it ice skating or skateboarding?

Your girl friends are bombarding me with questions also about you and Natsume. Didn't you tell them? What kind of friend are you? Haha. No, really, you should tell them. I also think you should go talk to Natsume. He's not doing very well unlike you who are enjoying your life. You may not like this advice of mine but please consider it. It's hard to keep up with a very quiet Natsume. If this e-mail upsets you, well, you have the right to.

-Your concerned friend

* * *

><p><strong>From: <strong>mikan_thegreat

**Subject: **Don't care

_I guess you have a right to be concerned with him but I don't think I can do something about it anymore. He threw me out and not the other way around, Koko. Please let's not talk about him. I don't want to know anything about him. We are not friends anymore and I don't think simple talking can bring that back. Do not mention him again. If you will keep on talking about him in your mails, please just forget it. Let's talk about something fun and optimistic. Got it?_

_By the way, I explained everything to them. I originally wanted to do it personally but they were so demanding I had to just mail it. _

_-Mikan_

* * *

><p><strong>From: <strong>kokomunch

**Subject: **Stubborn

I'm sorry but I'm just worried at him. You can't stop me from feeling that because he's one of my best pals. By the way, everything is settled on the outing. So have you asked permission already? A week has passed so two more weeks, right? We can't wait to see you. I bet Hotaru is giving you lectures in her mails. She had a monstrous reaction when she got to know about the whole story, choking me to death. I never realized they were killers! Sorry again for the exaggeration. We had to renovate the club room so be surprised when you see it again and I know you'll be sad for not being able to help but don't be because I'm sure next school year we have lots of work to do. We're seniors already. Can you believe that? Because I can't!

-Koko

* * *

><p><strong>From: <strong>mikan_thegreat

**Subject: **Grow up

_Don't remind me, Koko! I hate thinking about leaving AA and being apart from you guys. High school is just too precious. A year is fast so in a blink, this will all end. But sure, the last year will surely be fun. Anyone can guarantee it. Anyways, today my feet killed me. Literally. I thought I'm going to die from all that walking. I am beyond exhausted and my eyelids are drooping now as I type this. I am gaining weight here so don't tease me about it when I get back or else I'll shred you into million pieces. We also took lots of photos today and I remembered that pictures are still the best when you are trying to reminisce. So, take lots of picture of your summer vacation. Have fun and 'till my next e-mail_

_-Mikan_

* * *

><p>"Can we talk?"<p>

Natsume sighed, shutting his laptop. He stood up and followed his mother who always wanted to take family talks to her office. Their home had always been quiet but recently it was haunting him. That was why he was getting out more lately and Aoi was trying to help him by the use of distraction. His sister's efforts was something he really appreciated and it was helpful but for only a short period of time. Aoi kept on telling him that he should start helping himself because Mikan would not be happy if she would see him broken. That kind of idea made him ask if Mikan would still care. The last time they talked, he was more than sure that he angered her. It really hurts to know that the person you care the most might not take you back.

Kaoru turned to the right, with her office greeting them. It was a usual office with her table in the middle, full of papers. Books surrounded the place and Natsume knew that his mother read everything already. His mother was a clean freak that was why the neatness of the room did not surprise him. Kaoru stood in the middle of the room like a towering presence but it did not made Natsume feel intimidated because he knew he could keep up with his mother. Natsume knew the reason why his mother personally came to his room and take him to her chamber. He knew exactly why but what he did not know was what his mother up to.

"Is this about him?"

Kaoru sighed, noticing that Natsume's attitude of being straightforward had not changed. "We talked," she said.

Natsume's jaw hardened, upset on what he just heard. He hated not knowing things especially when it concerned family issues. "When did this happen?" he asked with an angry voice. Sometimes his mother could really make him snap.

"Last night," Kaoru added.

He clenched his fist, surprise at himself that he was this angry at his father. Forgiveness was nowhere around and it actually made Natsume scared that he was becoming vengeful towards Ioran. He did not want to completely forget the promises he made to Mikan regarding to his father but the difficulty of forgiving his father was overwhelming him.

"What were you thinking?" he spat.

Kaoru wanted her son to relax because seeing him in such state worried her as a mother. "I'm thinking straight, my son. So if you would just hear his explanation."

"Never."

"Don't have such a cold heart, Natsume."

His heart was not cold, it was hurting. This issue with his father, the unhappy ending he had with Mikan, and his whole family ganging up on him were too much and he was unsure if he could last until the end or he would surrender like a loser. Kaoru was standing in front of him, asking for the impossible. How could he forgive his father when he did nothing but break this family? Sadly, no one was guiding him on what to do. This was one of those times when he was tempted to contact Mikan and ask her to listen but he knew that was another impossible thing. He always believed he was a strong person but now all there's left for him was to crumble into pieces.

Natsume was hopeless even with the knowledge that he still had friends who never once left him but somehow the effect wouldn't be that great. Thinking of it, he made all this mess. It was all coming back to him like a gunfire, nonstop and severe. He was sick of his pathetic approach to everything.

"Stop telling me what to do with him."

"Natsume, people do unforgivable things but that doesn't mean that we can never accept them again. Maybe it can't be fixed entirely but maybe, just maybe, forgiving a person can lighten up our feelings a bit. Just let it all go, your frustrations and doubts. We should get out of that box where we enclosed ourselves to fear and worry. You will never be happy like that. We all want to be happy, right? All we have to do is just let ourselves feel it."

Mothers really knew best.

* * *

><p>It was like a blur because a few minutes ago he was staring at his frappé and now he was typing on his phone as fast as he can. Koko was thankful for the good WiFi signal. Mikan's e-mail came unexpectedly this time since she was taking longer than usual in sending one with a reason of being busy in adapting the life in L.A. Sometimes Koko would tease her of being in love with the life in there and might forget Japan but Mikan did not show any signs of not staying in Japan again. Last week, Mikan sent e-mails to her girl friends because Koko kept on complaining on being the messenger always when she could directly communicate with them.<p>

Ruka, being the observer one, noticed the grin in Koko's face. "Why are you smiling? Texting someone?" It was meant as a tease.

"No, I just got an e-mail from Mikan."

Ruka nodded, surprised at what he heard because he had no news about Mikan for several weeks now and basing on Koko's reaction, he could already tell that this exchange of e-mails was going for a long time already. "What does it say?" he asked.

"Just the things she's doing there," Koko answered, placing his phone on the wooden table and back to sipping his frappé.

Ruka frowned at the subtle details. He wanted to know what made his friend smile in a weird way. His eyes traveled to Natsume who seemed unaffected by the news and what he saw disappointed him. Ruka expected a lot more reaction from Natsume than that dull expression. He noticed that Natsume was keeping mum with all these Mikan issues surrounding the whole summer break. There was an ice surrounding Natsume's whole personality that no one could seem to break. Natsume was drifting to another world that they did not know if they could still reach. But, today, Natsume initiated for them to meet which was a miracle.

The café they were currently at was located at seaside so the air blowing was hot but at the same time relaxing. It was summer so the best time for iced-coffees came. Ruka was waiting for Natsume to talk but he already lost hope.

"Seems like she's doing fine."

"Good for her, right?" Koko asked, staring at the view and appreciating the color of the sky.

"So, Natsume, how about you? Have you got an e-mail from her as well?" Ruka asked without the intention of being insensitive.

Natsume drove them here, clad in his usual attire that suited him very well and Ray-bans that added to his sexiness. His gloominess appeared to be lessened with the help of who-knows-who. He said he wanted to drive today and get out from their house which meant something happened again. He was true to his words when he said he wanted to get away and brought them to a place far from Tokyo. Natsume was also being generous today, promising to pay for everything which made Ruka's theory more correct. When Natsume wanted to forget, he would always escape then face it. Koko and Ruka had no complains since no one could say no to free food.

"Why would she send me one?" Natsume's voice entered the conversation finally.

Ruka shrugged, scoffing with sarcasm. "Well, I don't know, maybe because she's your best friend? What is really happening here? You two seem to know something that I don't. And do not play dumb with me, Koko. Why are you the only she's communicating with? Are you two in some relationship?"

"No!" Koko defended immediately.

"This will not happen if Natsume and Mikan are still friends which I have a feeling that they don't anymore which is, of course, impossible." Koko's shocked expression and Natsume's gloomier than ever façade put Ruka into nothingness. All these months, he knew nothing. "Right?" he asked nervously.

Natsume faced him and even though Ruka could not see his eyes, he knew very well that Natsume was in pain. "Nothing is impossible, Ruka."

"Wait! So that is what happening since New Year happened?" he asked in disbelief. "Tell me right at this instant, Koko."

Koko panicked by the on the spot question. He tried to look at Natsume as if asking for permission. "Yes," he said and that was when Natsume left the café.

They did not stop him because they knew now the reason why Natsume wanted to get out for a moment. He wanted to think.

"I never thought that would be the reason. This is unbelievable."

Natsume enjoyed walking alone especially at times like this. The sea looked peaceful with no loud waves crashing the sea wall. He loved observing the water with its limitless potential and he shared this fondness with Mikan. His everyday life had become nothing but drama and when the failing moment that he could no longer take it, the people around him started working their charms. First it was just Aoi but then his very own mother gave him words of wisdom that he never thought would be coming from her mouth despite of what she love gave her. Sure he loved Mikan and all but he knew that was not enough.

He shouldn't be feeling this way because he pushed her away and they were only apart for a short time. But it was just unbearable to live a drastic life like this. He wanted to find happiness and it was a thousand miles away from him now. Maybe she could forgive him. Yes, that would be more than enough. A request that he wanted to make was to have a conversation with her even for the last time, just to know how she was able to adapt in all of this chaos. He wanted to see her face to face so that he could prove to himself that she was fine. Natsume did not want to live the rest of his life wondering what Mikan was thinking so he started hoping that he would be given the chance to talk to her even for a short time.

If Mikan would miraculously choose to be friends with him again, he would be the happiest man alive. When that time comes, he would never take her for granted again. He would always be honest and vocal. No more hiding of true feelings. If she would ask him a question, he would answer straightly. He would do anything to keep her on the second time because now he knew how hard life would be without her. She was practically his whole life. They might never be back to the way they were before but they could try to build a new foundation for their friendship.

Natsume shook his head, smiling at himself while thinking how hopeful he sounded. The truth scared him like death. The truth that Mikan would never come back to him engulfed him with no escape route and it was suffocating, deadly, and horrible. He tried to forget about her by travelling around Japan and distracting himself but every second just brought him back to her. The pain was still fresh so the possibility that it would subside was high. Natsume could not wait to be better and to achieve that he should follow what they were saying. He admittedly needed help or else he would breakdown like a stone. This love had taught him so many things.

Natsume felt the presence of his friends behind him. Looking up, he saw a smiling Ruka and Koko which meant support and another crazy idea from them. They both sat on the stone border where he was also sitting. Natsume waited for them to talk because he was already sure that these two had already something in mind.

"Koko and I made an agreement to help you and Mikan."

Koko nodded diligently like a child. "We're your friends, Natsume."

"So when Mikan comes back, make sure you do your part."

"Your part that you should've done a long time ago."

What were they talking about exactly?

* * *

><p>He sighed as he took a look on the Sakuras' residence. Natsume was not exactly sure if he was welcome to this home but barging in could answer his question. He opened the gate and walked slowly, passing by the green, grassy garden that Yuka must have had put a lot of effort this summer. The window of Mikan's room looked untouched and from where he was standing he could already tell that it was a lonely place to be because of the lack of use. Yuka must be feeling lonely with her being alone in the house. Natsume did not know what spirit possessed him to come here. Maybe it was the idea that coming here would somehow bring him a clearer picture of Mikan. He really did not know. His memory of hers was not fading or anything but he just wanted to be here.<p>

Three knocks were all it took before Yuka opened the door and she was really surprised by his out of the blue presence. Yuka opened the door wider, giving him a view of the inside of the house and just like he expected it was quiet but the sadness was not there unlike in his home where there were three people residing but it felt like no one was really there. His eyes travelled to the stairs and up to Mikan's door, ridiculously wishing that she was just there, lying on her bed and reading some girl's magazine. Like a train, memories of them together were coming to him. It was all so good until he destroyed it.

"Natsume," his aunt called, interrupting him. "Mikan is not here," she said sadly.

"I know."

Yuka smiled, inviting him in. She was already preparing him something to drink. "Do you miss her?" she asked as she poured the hot water on the plain mug.

"Answering that question would put me in question," Natsume playfully said but there was truth in it nevertheless.

"Are to trying to be funny, Dear?"

"Not really."

Yuka placed the tray on the table beside the couch and later on offered him the tea. "You know, coming here won't make her back. I don't know what entirely happened but I already have an idea."

"It's kind of tragic."

Yuka's head went side then upward and looked like she was measuring the circumstance. "I think it's kind of you getting scared of how much she loves you and her being blinded by that love too much."

Natsume breath hitched when his aunt hit the right spot. "This is the only way I could think of but now I feel that what I did is so wrong," he confessed.

"Do you regret it?"

It didn't take him too long to reply. "I don't regret doing this for her."

"For Mikan?" asked Yuka like Natsume did not answer the question correctly.

Natsume's composure loosened up. "You see, I pushed her away so that she could learn to live without me and to make her realize that there are so many things out there besides, you know…"

"Loving you?" Yuka completed for him. "When Mikan comes back, let's see what this did to her."

The moment of truth would arrive simultaneous to Mikan's coming home. Just by thinking about it already given Natsume headache, what more if it was already actually happening? "She can never forgive me," he said sadly.

Yuka shook her head, waving her pointing finger in midair. "You know what I think? I think you two will find a way to settle this and finally, after so many years, you'll be happy." It sounded so impossible at the moment but Yuka believed in what she said.

"Sounds like a fairytale to me," Natsume commented, already hating the feeling that his hope was peaking again.

"To me, it's reality."

"I don't want to get my hopes up," he said.

Yuka looked at him like he was a reminder of Izumi years ago. She understood the situation very well and whatever she was saying, she knew the implication of it. She had always considered Natsume for Mikan and in all honesty, she wanted him for her daughter. This was the first time Natsume talked to her as his second mother. Yuka had always thought Natsume was too strong and could take anything but now she was happy to know that Natsume was able to realize that he needed help. That was brave and admirable on his part.

"From my experience I can confidently say that anything can happen."

Indeed, when Mikan comes back, anything could happen.

* * *

><p>Los Angeles was very different from Tokyo at day but at night, it almost looked the same. Mikan was more than grateful that her room had a wide window that could be opened and take a sit on the wooden foundation. With this, she could admire the evening scene more and think deeper. Today was a long day. Shopping with cousins was fun, Mikan would admit anytime, but it was also tiring because when they shop, they shop like there was no tomorrow. They walked and walked and walked and ate lots of food which was the best part. Her baggage when she came here would be tripled when she comes back to Japan.<p>

She was being more outgoing every day, discovering new places in a blink, and wishing she could stay longer. But, sooner or later, she would have to come back to her home. This vacation was the best form of distraction and also gave her time to think like what she was doing now. Being here made her realize that she could be ready for the world and could be anywhere. Travelling would never be boring for her and she would do this if time would permit her. Clutching the cup of hot chocolate in her hand, she realized that she had not cry since her confrontation with Izumi. She was improving every day and could control her emotions well.

Her cousins were always up for girl talks and parties. Mikan liked the girl talks but the parties…not so much. Girl talks were fun when talking about fashion, embarrassing moments, reasons for being insecure, and boys. Though she was not participating well when it comes to boy topics because she was not comfortable talking about her zero love life and failed friendship but she enjoyed listening to her cousins' stories because they were so different from hers or from anything she heard before. Being surrounded by a various kind of people could really make you discover the world in a different point of view.

"Mikan?"

The brunette glanced at her side to see her father standing on the door. "Hey, Dad."

"Something wrong?" he asked, approaching her.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking about the past few weeks."

Izumi joined Mikan on the free space beside her, doing it easily like he had done it back when he was a kid. "What about them?" he asked, staring at the lights illuminating the whole area.

Mikan blushed at the fact that what she was about to say was dramatic and cheesy. "I never thought I can enjoy this much. I feel a whole lot better."

"You're still not telling me what made you sad," Izumi reminded her.

Mikan smiled because she did not know that she could do this girl talk with her father. Months ago, she had never imagined that she could accept her father like this. He had always insisted on telling him what's wrong but she dismissed him. Now, her father came to her again and she had no choice but to really talk to him. All Mikan was hoping now is that Izumi could give her an answer.

"Why is love so complicated? Why do the people we love cannot love us back? Why do we still care for them? Love is supposed to be full of happiness but with all the things that happened I can't seem to imagine love without feeling bitter about it."

Izumi stayed silent for a while, looking far like he was still absorbing Mikan's questions. He was surprised that his daughter had so many things in mind that concerned love. "Do you still love him?" he asked.

Mikan flinched. "I don't know. After with what he did."

"So, do you?"

Mikan bit her lip, desperately looking at her father as if asking his permission to feel this way. "I'm trying not to but I still do," she admitted, hating the truth. "Well, that's perfectly acceptable since this won't go away in a flash."

"True but if you could just go deeper in your heart. If he apologizes and explains to you why he did what he did, would you forgive him?" He was giving her a very possible scenario. Izumi was not entirely naïve about this issue going on Mikan because, well, he had Yuka to fill him the details so he already had prepared what to say to his daughter.

"It depends."

The answer Mikan had given was almost synonymous with yes.

"So you would if the explanation is acceptable?"

Mikan scratched her head because it felt like aching with all these Natsume questions floating inside her head. She was not ready to answer but she knew the answer. "I can forgive him, yes. But we can never be friends again."

Izumi patted his daughter's head. "Still, that's better than with all this hate surrounding you two."

"But he should work for it. Work harder than what I did."

Izumi chuckled, remembering that she said the same to him. "Don't be too hard on him," he advised, still chuckling. Mikan was not easily forgiving but she was forgiving no matter what. She had always wanted to see effort before judging. Just like what she did to him. As her father, he worked hard to gain this status and he knew that Mikan had not completely forgiven him but at least she was trying to.

"Maybe you are just like him, Dad."

"Maybe, Mikan. Maybe we're just both scared."

"Scared of what?" she asked like a child.

Izumi inwardly smiled with the thought of Mikan had so much to learn and discover. "Scared of losing more than what we imagined. You see, sometimes we need to hurt the person so that we could avoid making more damages."

"I don't understand," she said sleepily.

"You don't always have to. Most of the times, it will just hit you like a stray ball. Surprising and painful but then all worth it."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>School has started already so that means I failed! Haha, I didn't get to publish this chapter before November 5. Chasing You has celebrated its first anniversary last November 3 so for those who have read this from the very first chapter up to now, thank you so much! Thank you for giving me those awesome reviews. I'm glad to be with you for more than a year now. <strong>

**Have a good day! **


	25. Because I Can

**A/N: **Please don't kill me! : )

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Twenty-five**

_**Because I Can**_

The flight was long because of the delay. She didn't ask for someone to pick her up because that would be too much effort in her opinion. Though her bags were doubled compared to before, she had no problems carrying them and besides it was easy to ride on a cab. Mikan checked her phone, also looking for the date today and smiled at the fact that she did come back on the day she told Koko. Her summer vacation abroad ended too fast that it was like just a blink to her. Just when she was adjusted fully and having fun with no more barriers, she had to go back in Japan. Mikan could not stay longer there because of the impending resume of classes. Time flew so fast that starting next week she'll be in her senior year.

Setting her feet again in Japan became a different feeling and to think the place that made an impact to her heart was just an airplane away. The summer heat was greeting her like she ought to feel it even how late she would come back home. Getting off on the cab with the kind driver, she smiled as she left her payment. She was here again. Mikan did not care who can see her across their house because she knew better than caring about him. The past months were enough to ignore the feeling which never faded but it would never be enough to completely forget about him. In short, she was just being bitter.

Mikan also stopped remembering about him, about their past moments, their promises, their failures and success together. It was all a memory now that she did not want to relive. For sure, her friends had so much expectation because she did have the time to unwind so they expect her to be back like before. Mikan hated change and no matter what happened, she did not want to change herself for a boy who broke her heart and trust. She took the steps towards her home wherein Yuka must be waiting. Opening the door slowly, she saw how much the house did not modify. She placed her things on the side and smelled the pie Yuka was baking.

"I'm home!" she yelled.

Like a whirlwind, Yuka came in front of her and hugged her tightly. This was a very normal scene for a mother who hadn't seen her daughter for two months. Mikan did the same to her Mom whom she missed so much. Sending e-mails everyday will never be enough to cover up the distance between them.

"I've missed you!" Yuka breathed.

"Me too, Mom."

Mikan wanted to cry at that moment. Maybe because the number of reasons was flooding her mind or she really missed Yuka with all her heart. She was back to reality, to her home, with her friends and with her mother. Tomorrow she would meet up with them and even though there was lots of uncertainty, she was ready to face it. Yuka broke the hug with a mischievous smile.

"Guess who came to visit me?"

The brunette was at lost with zero idea who was her mother talking about.

* * *

><p>"Mikan!"<p>

That voice. It was Anna.

"Oh my, Mikan! We're here!"

And that one was Nonoko.

Mikan waved at them excitedly with a very big grin. If the two were running towards her, she too ran. Mikan engulfed her two fiends in a hug with the thought of how much she had missed them. Behind them, Hotaru came.

"This is surprising. When did you come back?" Hotaru was wearing a small smile as she talked to the brunette.

"Can't I have a more cheerful greeting than that, Hotaru?"

"No."

Mikan pouted. "I knew it," she said, acting like she was very disappointed.

Anna suggested that they should have their last week of vacation spent in their rest house far from the city and pretty much located on the inside part of the district. There were trees and flowers which Mikan never seen before and she also noted that it was less hot here compared to Tokyo. With a few train rides and short walks, she successfully found the place. Travelling alone was fun but Mikan didn't have the intention of making it a habit. It would always be more fun to go to a place together with your friends because sometimes the travel was the happiest time.

Seven days were left before they come back to reality namely school. Spending three days here was already enough for them to bond but Mikan felt that time is running and sadly, she had no control over it. No one could. But if she would continuously think that time is running, she wouldn't be able to break out and enjoy with her friends. At the side of the house, she took a glimpse of Natsume's car. So, he was here. Natsume was not doing a good job of avoiding her. Maybe he was not avoiding her because he decided to treat her like a nonexistent human being after all. Will Nobara be here also?

"Nobara's here!" Anna just answered her question. "And Yuu! Can you believe that?" she added and Mikan knew Anna intentionally did not mention Natsume's name.

"Mikan!" a familiar voice called her.

"Koko!" she greeted, turning around to see her virtual best friend for two months. "So nice to see you again."

He simply nodded. "We have a surprise for you."

Koko looked passed by her so that would mean there was a person behind her. Mikan looked curious and speedily turned around. She was expecting for Aoi to come in view because that would already be a surprise but it happened to be Tsubasa.

"Tsubasa!" she yelled, hugging him in excitement and choking him.

"I'm basically here to share you the bad things I've learned from travelling around Japan," was Tsubasa's prelude that made Mikan laugh because the words were very alien coming from him.

"You sound crazy," she commented.

Ruka yelled from the small house making Koko and the three girls to come for his help. Mikan was about to do the same when Tsubasa stopped her by grabbing her arm. It was obvious that he missed talking to Mikan whom he considered his sister. When Tsubasa heard the fatal news about Mikan and Natsume, he could not wait for an opportunity to meet the two but with Mikan going abroad and Natsume being his usual self, it was impossible until now.

"I'm telling you…if there is one crazy person here that would be Natsume."

Mikan gulped and changed the topic. "Let's eat!"

Tsubasa smiled and joined her. "Yey!"

They looked like childish idiots coming for food. Mikan's focus was all in food when Tsubasa decided to be serious and went brother on her again.

"If there is a perfect time for you to slap my cousin in the face or profess your undying love for him, that time is now."

"Tsubasa, do you know nothing?"

"Impossible. Aoi always keeps me updated."

Mikan frowned, not liking where this talk was heading. People around her were persuading her to talk to him but Mikan had no plans to interact with Natsume except for the times they needed to have a short conversation for convenience. "Then you should stop with this me and him getting together because it will never happen and besides he threw me. That is one mistake that I'll never forgive."

"Do you drink?" Tsubasa asked randomly like he hadn't heard what she just said.

"I don't."

"Then this is the perfect time. Drink all your problems and it will go away."

The dramatic gestures of Tsubasa made her more worried than his actual proposition to drink. Mikan dismissed the idea quickly because she did not want to succumb to peer pressure although this was hardly peer pressure but still. She did not want to drink and go haywire.

"Don't be stupid, Tsubasa."

"We have lots to celebrate for! You coming back, you guys being in your last year of high school, and you developing a backbone to be actually angry at my cousin."

Mikan looked down and stopped on her tracks. "I was stupid, wasn't I?" she sounded remorseful.

Tsubasa patted her head lightly with a kind smile on his face. "Don't fret. We need those moments for us to realize that we are capable of being independent."

"Ever since he left me, I learned to be on my own."

Her eyes widened when she said that. Sometimes, Mikan would think that the actual reason Natsume pushed her away was because of that.

"What? Having an epiphany?"

"I'm afraid so," Mikan said in honesty, biting her lip for realizing things like this in a not so good time.

Tsubasa led the walk again. He reminisced the days when he was as young as them. "Enjoy every day you spend with your friends, Mikan. I'm telling you this out of experience. High school is the best time of my life and my friends are a big part of that but ever since we graduated, I barely see them and every time I see them, it's like we have never been closed." He paused with the sad truth. Before graduation, they promised to keep in touch with others always but that never happened. "That should never happen to you guys."

"We can't always keep them." Mikan was referring to friends and her experience with Natsume proved that.

Tsubasa did not straightly agree to her. It actually took him a few seconds before answering again. "Yes. Because of many reasons. It's either they chose to stay away or they needed to stay away."

"Why the heck would they need to stay away from a friend?" Mikan asked angrily.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe to teach them a lesson?"

"They have a weird way of doing it." She knew she was already referring to what Natsume had done to her.

Tsubasa chuckled and said, "I agree."

* * *

><p>Mikan was choosing what song should be played next on her iPod. She was watching her friends from afar because she didn't feel like joining them yet when they are sober. It would be a lot funnier if she would make fun of them when they are already drunk. Ruka was dancing like a freak earning tease from the crowd. He seemed to have a low tolerance in alcohol judging from the way he was interacting with Hotaru now. Yuu, on the other hand, was still acting like the class president. From the looks of it, Tsubasa was the mastermind of everything. Mikan was glad that she did not agree to him.<p>

She was satisfied with sitting for now and observing them. The music playing on her ears was rather entertaining and it added to the fun scenery she was watching. Mikan was about to be engrossed on watching when Koko just came from the door.

"Koko," she called.

"Hey!"

"Are you going to join them?"

Koko glanced at the little part happening. "Aren't you?"

"Later."

"Okay," he replied lifelessly.

Mikan began to wonder what was up on Koko's unenergetic mood all day. He was barely talking and was unusually helping everyone out. Mikan decided to go inside to get some water when she saw Nobara and Natsume on the kitchen and from then, they looked like they were watching the mini party from the window. She flinched at the sight and regretted coming to the kitchen.

"Nobara," the brunette greeted.

Nobara snapped from the intent watching and greeted back. "Mikan!" she sounded excited and like she was really glad to see Mikan, "Natsume invited me. I hope you don't mind."

"Why would I?" Mikan replied with a hint of annoyance.

Then, Nobara started to make her exit. "Are you looking for him? Well, I'll leave you two."

Mikan glanced shortly at him and resumed her mission of getting a glass of water. She could tell that he was watching her.

"It's good to see you again," he said, breaking the silence.

"I'm sorry that I disturbed you," she replied casually. "I'm going now."

Mikan ran as fast she can to get to the drinking session that was happening. It was still there, the feelings didn't fade. She still felt jealousy upon seeing them and simply looking at him made her want to hug him. She missed having a friend like him who was always there and knew the right things to say. No one could change Natsume's place in her stupid heart. She was angry at herself for not making a single development. All this time she deceived herself.

Taking a seat beside Tsubasa who was just laughing at Ruka's charade, Mikan stole a glass.

"Are you okay, Mikan?" he asked as she watched Mikan drink a glass in one go.

"Yes," she lied.

Tsubasa's vision was already blurred and he did not have enough energy to ask her further so he just made a reminder. "Okay but don't drink too much. You got that?"

Mikan nodded. "Got it."

Hotaru was busy watching Mikan drown herself in alcohol. She did not want to stop her though because that would mean killing the fun. She was looking forward on the mayhem this irresponsible act Mikan was pulling. Still, she had to show that she was genuinely concerned so that when tomorrow comes and someone will point a person to blame, she was safe.

"Can you even handle alcohol?" Hotaru asked, sitting beside Mikan who just had her fifth glass.

Mikan's speech was already slurry when she answered. "I've handled things worse than this."

"That doesn't answer the question."

Mikan smiled but that did not assure Hotaru but stopping the brunette now would be pointless. "Don't worry, Hotaru."

"Koko," Anna called to the person just in front of her. "Koko!" she repeated.

"Yes?" he replied

"Are you alright?"

Koko looked from afar. "Yes, I think so."

Anna's eyes connected at Yuu who just shrugged his shoulders. Tonight was going to be a long night.

* * *

><p>Mikan was laughing hard as she was making her way back to the house. Hotaru left early even though she did not drink. Anna, Nonoko, Yuu and Koko had to sleep on the outside but Tsubasa played hero and carried them one by one to get inside. After successfully putting Koko and Yuu on the couch, Tsubasa practically shut down. The last time Mikan tasted alcohol was back in the Winter Dance and that barely counted as a glass and now she really did drink. She began hating herself for feeling jealous seeing Nobara and Natsume together. What the heck? She was so stupid.<p>

When she opened the door, she stumbled down because Tsubasa was blocking the way making her tripped. She just laughed at herself, wiping her tiny tears. She did not even bother to make an effort to get up. Mikan enjoyed the pain. She then hit Tsubasa on the head, blaming him for being such a bad influence. Good thing she was with her friends or else she could have been in a much worse condition right now. After a few seconds of making fun of herself, she stood up with the idea of sleeping on the free couch. It was past midnight and the lights were all out but she wouldn't be mistaken on the fact that Natsume was standing a few feet away.

"It's you," she said.

"You're drunk."

Mikan smirked. "I'm not."

Natsume walked to her direction, scanning the living room that was full of drunkards. "They all say that."

Mikan successfully took her place on the couch. "Well, I must be really drunk because I'm talking to you."

"Seems like you officially threw me out of your life."

"Yes, yes, yes."

She did not even notice that he sat on the other end of the couch. Mikan simply stared at the window, her feet were relaxed on the soft seat. Her mind was blank for a moment and she liked the peace. It was already late and yet Natsume was awake. She could not help but wonder what he was doing with Nobara all night but then she had no right to know. Gulping her thoughts away, she glanced at him only to find out that he was looking at her all this time.

"Let's go back to being friends," he mumbled randomly but Mikan heard it clearly. Her eyes widened and she knew her hear beat became faster. "Sorry," Natsume added which disappointed Mikan a little.

Everything came back to the both of them like a bullet train. From that fateful encounter they had when they were still little children and then to the next years they became the best of friends. The happy days, the painful rejection, their sweet moments, the sad moments, their bad days, their good and best days, their separation. For the longest time, she wondered what could have changed if they were actually together. For the longest time, she imagined what could be the feeling of being loved by him without being bounded by their friendship.

Mikan stared at him with teary eyes. They wiped them first and sat closer to him.

"Run," she said but she actually didn't give him the chance to do so.

She gripped the collar of his shirt, gulping to the belief that it will give her more confidence. Honestly, she had no idea if she would remember this night or not but she would really die if she would keep her feelings any longer. She hated him since that day but the longing did not vanish. She cried more, knowing that Natsume would not reciprocate her feelings again. More tears for knowing that tomorrow everything would return to its original state. Her, the miserable one. This could be the first and last time she would be able to do something like this. It seemed like there was no one around. No Nobara. No Koko. No Hotaru. No Ruka. No Anna. No Nonoko. No Yuu. No Tsubasa. Perfect. Just the two of them.

She was a little tipsy but that did not stop her from pulling Natsume for a kiss. It was quick, faint, and her first time. Mikan did not regret kissing him although anytime she could fall asleep now. Her grip loosened but Natsume grabbed her wrists and all of a sudden his hand on her back.

"You should not have done that."

"Right."

"Now, you have to deal with what you started."

"What?"

He kissed her for the second time. Fiercer, more passionate, less awkward. Their lips showed all the longing they felt for each other. His hands ran from her back to her hair, giving her a sense of belongingness. Natsume's physical presence was a blur to her but she could feel him entirely. He deepened the kiss making her fall back a little but he caught her. Mikan did not expect to get a reply like this from a sober Natsume. They broke apart for a second but kissed again. Her hands on his chest while his on her back. They totally crossed the line.

She missed his soft hair, his face, his strong shoulders, and his voice. Although he made it clear that he did not love her, she still wanted him. But she will never force herself again to the person who wanted somebody else. This goodbye kiss would never fade in her memory. At least, she knew the feeling of kissing him. Mikan would not spend the rest of her life wondering how it will go if she kissed Natsume. Tomorrow would be another day.

* * *

><p>"Koko, wake up!"<p>

Koko slowly opened his eyes. He scanned the room and realized he didn't make it to his actual bedroom. Quickly getting up, he almost screamed when he saw almost everyone was lying on the floor. That was when he felt the pain on his back. He silently cursed the hard wood before paying attention to his human alarm clock. "What the hell, Mikan?" he muttered.

"Get up."

"Why are you awake so early? I thought from the amount of alcohol you drank last night you'll be sleeping until evening."

"It doesn't happen to everybody. Now, get up."

"Okay, okay. Fine." Koko reluctantly stood and got scared at the view of Yuu who was just beside him. They all lost it last night. "But why are we getting up so early?" he asked.

"Just. Get. Up."

Mikan pushed him to the bathroom to get his teeth brushed and his face washed. He agreed because he was stinking of alcohol. After a quick wash, Koko was then dragged by Mikan. He had a hunch that the brunette didn't sleep well but her smile had hidden it well. He just followed her lead with no more complaints until she pushed him on the ground making her wince. He was about to say something but Mikan was quicker with shushing him. Koko felt special because of all the people in there, Mikan chose to disturb his sleep. Yeah, he felt oh so special. He had no idea what was his purpose in all of this because sitting hardly counts as doing something.

The brunette was intently staring at the view before them and that was when Koko realized why she woke up so early despite of being in a state of drunk last night.

"You want to watch the sunrise?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Well, it's beautiful."

"Yes."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Stop answering with yes, Mikan."

"I'm fine, Koko."

"Did something happen?"

Mikan shook her head. "I'm just uncomfortable being with everyone again. I still think that my overreaction is not yet forgiven. I'm scared that one wrong move and everyone will leave me."

Koko frowned, snorting at her stupid thought. "Whatever gave you that idea, Mikan. Just trust us. Accepting strengths and weaknesses comes with friendship. Yes, Natsume is wrong for doing that to you but I can see that he has a pretty good reason."

"The reason that I'm becoming too much intoxicated with him?" she asked mockingly.

"Yes, you can call it like that." Koko replied without flinching from her tease. "From what I see, you're better now than when you were on the state of depression."

"Two years or more, right?" Mikan reminded him. It was their due date for moving on.

"If fate will let it, you will forget about him. But if fate forbids it, then you are meant for each other."

Mikan looked defeated so she lowered her head. "Why do you always know what to say?" she asked in a whisper.

Koko simply smiled and feeling a little proud of himself. "You make me think harder than usual."

She looked up to him, sincerity evident in her eyes. "Thank you for giving me a reason to get up early and sit here." The gratitude was for everything. Koko was her backbone for many months now and considering him as her closest friend was safe.

"What happened, Mikan?" he asked again, having a stronger feeling that something happened.

"Two years, Koko."

Koko's face hardened because he knew that this two years thing was nothing but a big joke. He also had enough of the repetitive effort to move on but Mikan didn't need that. What she needed was to talk to Natsume and let those feelings out.

"No, Mikan."

"What?"

"Don't give a deadline for something you can't do," he said sharply.

"Don't you trust me?" Mikan retorted, tone rising up.

Koko stood up wearing an angry expression. It was funny to think that they were so calm before and now they were fighting. This was also the first time he stepped up from being the adviser friend to the friend that will shout at you so you could learn your lesson.

"This is not an issue about trust. Stop forcing yourself into this. Talk to him. Talk to Natsume."

Mikan gave him a disappointed look. "Not you too," she upsettingly remarked, shaking her head.

"You still love him, right? And I'm more than sure that he loves you."

The look of Mikan proved that she was disagreeing greatly on the idea. "I have my pride, that's why."

"From what I see, you could just kiss and make up."

"Kiss?!" She panicked hearing the word and suddenly remembered what happened last night.

"Is something wrong?"

Mikan calmed herself and cursing for being so worked up. "Nothing."

Koko pouted in disappointment with her answer. Mikan started walking towards the house so he had no choice but to follow her. He could already see that his unconscious friends were brought back to life. The brunette was stomping her feet all the way while he silently walked.

"What did you two do in an early morning?" Nonoko inquired.

Koko watched Mikan go straight on the house. He sighed and answered Nonoko's question. "What do you think?"

Anna cupped her mouth. "Oh my gosh, Koko is answering back."

"What? What have I done?" Koko asked, panicking.

"It's true," Nonoko interrupted, "You were silent all day yesterday."

Koko scratched his chin, thinking of yesterday. "I didn't notice."

Anan giggled, eyeing Nonoko. "Classic," she said.

Meanwhile, Mikan went straight to the kitchen again just to get a glass of water. She found Hotaru and Ruka in there making breakfast. Later on, Nobara went in carrying a tray of eggs. Mikan asked if she could help but they all vanished when Natsume entered the room. The brunette had the feeling that they were all planning it. Even Nobara, his girlfriend! Mikan was more than sure that Natsume was here to talk about the K word and even though she wanted to avoid it, she had no more escape.

"Don't act like nothing happened."

"You sure can clear a kitchen," she said to avoid his statement.

Mikan turned her back and gulped the remaining water. She even washed it to have some distraction and to have a reason not to face Natsume. When she placed the glass on the container, Natsume calmly rested his back on the wall and simply watched her make a move.

"We kissed."

Mikan almost fell from her composure. "Out of intoxication!" she excused.

"Not for me and I'll bet all the money in the world that it's not for you too," he said with a smirk.

"I don't want to talk about this," she insisted, facing him.

"I don't want to forget."

Mikan did not believe him even a bit. "Your girlfriend will explode if she happens to hear that."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"What?"

Natsume was about to explain further what he meant by that was all ready to explain Mikan everything but then again, fate was cruel.

"Mikan! Oh God. Help!" Koko yelled, running into the kitchen.

At first, Mikan thought Koko was just bluffing but then when she saw him sweaty, dirty and scared, she began to worry. "What happened to you, Koko?" she asked.

"Tell me never to argue with girls again coz I'll never win," he managed to mutter even when panting hard and then turned to Natsume, hoping to get a help from him. "Natsume, there you are! Please remind me always."

"You're so funny, Koko. Let's get you cleaned up."

Mikan assisted him to get out from the kitchen and go to his temporary bedroom. When Koko was already stable, Mikan came back to the crime scene wherein she heard loud voices. She could not help but laugh at all the commotion happening and it was still morning. She found Anna and Ruka on the room.

"Nonoko is throwing a fit," was Anna's prologue to her.

"Why?"

"Koko insulted her sense of fashion."

Mikan smiled. "What a funny argument."

"It led to a pretty fun food fight," Anna proudly narrated.

MIkan's ears perked up hearing the two words. "I miss food fight!" she enthusiastically declared.

"You've done it?" Ruka's curiosity perked up because he could not remember such thing happened on school or their hang outs as group.

"Yes!"

"When?" was his follow up question.

That was when Mikan remembered the only food fight she had was back on Natsume's birthday and no one got the news of it because she didn't tell anyone. "Oh, I can't remember." She just reasoned out to avoid anymore talks.

Ruka knew something was more in the story but decided to let Mikan slide. "Right."

Mikan looked uncomfortably at him. "Stop with the look, Ruka."

Ruka shrugged and started moving. "Very well then. I suggest you start packing. We'll leave after lunch."

"Aye."

* * *

><p>Nobara just finished putting her bag on the back of the car. Natsume came from checking the engine and with the back door open, they both decided to sit and talk. From the car, they could see the others preparing to leave. Tsubasa was just sitting pretty earning a smack from Mikan. And then, Anna called the brunette to consume their remaining food specifically the cookies. Mikan gladly grabbed a few pieces and gave them to Tsubasa and Koko. A few seconds later, Hotaru came out and gave the car key to Tsubasa. In less than an hour, they would leave their summer getaway place for Tokyo. Before that happens, Natsume wished that he could have a talk with her.<p>

"Your friends are so likeable." Nobara's words rang into his ear.

Natsume stared at his friends and agreed to Nobara instantly. "Do you find them entertaining?"

"Yes," she answered with a laugh, "You are a lucky guy to have all them."

"Yes, I am."

Nobara noticed that Natsume continued looking at them and that was when he realized who he was staring at specifically. She made a sad smile for the feeling that the person she loved was just here and yet he was far away. Things were going better with Rei now but still…Natsume made her loved him. She was hurt, too. But no one would even care to notice.

"School starts in a week so you can stop looking at them."

Natsume looked away as a result. "I'm not."

"You'll have all the time in the world to be with her again."

"Easier said than done."

Sadly it was true. Nobara had the feeling that Mikan would have the heart of a stone by now and the brunette had every right to be so. The path towards forgiveness was rocky and hard but love conquers all so putting all trust to Natsume's feeling would not be fatal. Looking at his eyes now and knowing the resolve he had, Nobara wanted to believe that a happy ending was feasible.

"I know it would be hard on your part but it's hard on her part, too. Trust is easy to get but once you lost it, it will be one hell of a journey to win it back."

"I deserve this," he remorsefully said.

"It's essential. Or else you'll get stuck on fearing that she'll be gone and she'll be stuck on the idea of you being her whole life," Nobara said aloud her point of view in all of this. "Koko is a pretty good competition. He's making you feel jealous every single second he's with Mikan."

Natsume didn't know what to say at Nobara's observation. His primary plan was to deny it but then again it would be nonsense because Nobara looked so convinced. So what if he was jealous? Koko became close to Mikan in a way Natsume had never imagined and the truth that it was irritating him like an allergy sucked. He was jealous because he loved her and his reaction was pretty normal. When you see a person you like getting close to another person, you couldn't help but feel jealous. It didn't matter if Koko was his friend or the fact that Koko and Mikan seemed to be oblivious to the stares they were receiving. This was his very own feeling.

"He's my friend," he still said.

"Not an excuse though," Nobara playfully warned. She stared at his handsome face for a moment before looking away due to intense blushing. "I'm glad on what we have become now. I like it more this way. Even though I have lots to apologize for, you still accepted me. Mikan is a good catch, Natsume. I always knew it since I first met her in front of your locker. If she ever given you the chance, don't lose it."

Natsume nodded. "I won't."

"Do you want to try and tell her how you feel?" she suggested.

"I want to," he answered and added, "And I will definitely do it."

* * *

><p>There was another delay today and Tsubasa was the culprit. He developed a terrible diarrhea which made Ruka and Yuu ran to the nearest drug store. But something told Mikan that Tsubasa was just bluffing because he only acted in diarrhea when he saw Natsume approaching their location. Mikan just rolled her eyes and simultaneous that, her other friends were gone as well. She saw a glimpse of Anna and Nonoko trying to take a look from the window but then Hotaru dragged them. But still, Mikan was unsure of the privacy and in the first place, she was against to this whole set up thing. They were ganging up on her as if Natsume commanded them to do so. This trip was planned for this. How wrong was she to look forward on bonding with them when it all ended to her and Natsume talking.<p>

She was staring at him like he was staring at her. The kiss they shared last night crossed her mind, making her blush and step back. The heat was changing again and it was so funny to think how many seasons had passed since she and Natsume got all complicated. As his former best friend, she couldn't help think how the issue was between him and his father. She had solved her problem with Izumi recently so in her opinion, Natsume should do the same. For all the learning she attained, imparting it with Natsume would be good. If only they remained friends.

Natsume reached her and stood so close from her position. He bent down to level his face with hers and he could already sense the awkwardness Mikan was feeling.

"What?" Mikan spat.

"Let's talk."

Mikan stepped back as he stood normally. "You lost that right a long time ago, actually."

True but that fact would never stop him now. A reply from her was not that important as of the moment. What he just wanted to do was to tell his side of story or at least give Mikan an idea on the reason why he had to be separated from her. There was no good rationale behind this action but he was still willing to do it. Maybe for the reason that he loved her so much or maybe because everyone made an effort for this to happen. Natsume didn't know and he couldn't care less of those.

"Can you just listen then?"

Mikan glared at him. "Why would I?"

He had no answer for that. He could feel her hatred and sadness. He was lost. She was lost. He wanted to find her. And he will. He definitely will.

"I…there was this boy who thought life was perfect. He had everything anyone could ask for and he thought it would last forever until his father slowly changed. He met an annoying, little brat on a normal school day. It all started as a joke but he never knew how much it will mean to him when the time comes. He hated the girl at first, finding her extremely nosy but that all changed through time because one day, he just realized that he could not live without the girl."

"Where is this leading to, huh? Do you think I care on your story?"

"They grew together and the girl confessed her love for him on a bright, sunny day. He rejected her because accepting her feelings would be futile. He could not risk their friendship for a love that has no assurance. He saw what love did to his sister and he did not want to experience the same. She continued to love him though and he continued on being the jerk. It was a one-sided love for the majority of people but they didn't know the truth. There was more than that. Years passed and he realized that the girl was starting to be dependent on him."

Mikan cringed at hearing his story. "Is this why you did all of this?" she asked, trying to ignore his indirect confession.

Natsume did not answer him but resumed his story. "He hoped to set her free from him because he wasn't worth it. He said things that weren't right. He hurt her and he broke their friendship like a glass. He wanted to believe he had a reason and he wanted to believe that it was worth the shot."

Mikan burst into tears. Natsume was so stupid to think that way. He was always worth it! She didn't need to remind him that every second. They went all this sadness because he thought he wouldn't make her happy. She wanted to punch him, and hurt him, and strangle him, and throw him on the ground. Slowly, he was convincing her that he did the right thing which wasn't supposed to happen. Was this the reason why everyone wanted them to talk? So that she could realize that he had a reason.

"Screw you, Natsume! I don't need this crap! Stop messing with me. It hurts. Everything you said, I can remember it clearly. Stop this. Stop coming to our house. Stop sulking. Stop showing me signs that you want me back. Stop, please."

"I'm sorry." He went down to help her. Gladly, Mikan didn't push him that he was able to wipe her tears.

"You are not forgiven."

Thinking about it, did Natsume succeed? Did she learn to be independent? Did she learn to live a life without him? She did but she was not fully happy. Now, where was the point in living if you were just miserable? But it seemed like fate forbade it and she just had to continue loving him behind all this hatred. Was a happy ending near? Was it still possible? Was it just that easy? Natsume didn't deserve a second chance.

He nodded, accepting the fact that she couldn't forgive him now. "I messed up, I know."

"You didn't just mess up. You ended it."

"I hope you learned your lesson," he said like a prayer.

Mikan smirked, pushing him and making them both sit in the ground. "How about you?"

"More than you can imagine," he answered while staring into space.

"Good then." Mikan felt like a sadist.

"I like kissing you," he said randomly and still staring into space. Mikan blushed as a reaction.

She gulped, thinking of what to answer on that confession. "That was a mistake. Let's forget about it and please, don't get near to me again. I don't think I can tolerate your presence."

"I understand." His voice was sad and defeated.

Mikan stood up and was ready to leave him on the ground. She only made a few steps but halted to turn the boy who was still sitting on the ground, unmoved. "Natsume," she called and he looked up to her, "You see, life is a mixture of success and failure. If you just told me what you really feel a long time ago then everything would have been perfect now. Even if we fight and break up, I think that's easier to solve than this friendship you are trying to save which vanished a long time ago."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>Let me live!<strong>


	26. Worth Equals Forgiveness

**A/N: **I'm alive! And I'm not talking about doomsday. : )

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Twenty-six**

_**Worth Equals Forgiveness**_

The bulletin board was already full of announcements courtesy of their committee and Mikan was trying to look at them one by one, making sure that everything was clear. Classes started three days ago and Mikan didn't know that teachers liked to emphasize the fact that they will be spending their last year in high school. She did not like to think about the limited time she had with her friends. For her, it was sad. Mikan walked away from the bulletin board when she was convinced that everything was alright. Taking a view of the students, that's when she felt that time went by so fast that they were now almost in control of everything. They could now take the highest positions because of their seniority.

She smiled at the idea and quickly dismissed it.

"If you're not meant to be, then why do you still love each other?" a voice behind Mikan said.

"Huh?" Mikan asked, stopping at her place.

Sumire laughed while taking a few advance steps from Mikan. "Nothing," she said.

Initially, Mikan thought that Sumire was reciting a song but then when she realized that Sumire was talking about her and Natsume, she changed the subject before it occurred. "So how does it feel to move a level higher?" she asked.

Sumire gave her a look that the person who should be asked was her. "Tell me about it. It's your last year in high school."

"Don't remind me!" Mikan exclaimed, tired of hearing those words again.

"Sucks, right? One day, you'll leave this hallway for another school. Even if you don't want to leave, you must."

Mikan was staring carefully at Sumire and was thinking how correct she was. "Maybe I want to leave. I mean, life is about moving forward."

"I'll just agree to you," Sumire said dismissively so that the topic wouldn't go any further.

"You seem busy," Mikan said, referring to the pile of posters Sumire had in her hands.

The sophomore sighed, looking restless even though the day was just starting. "I need to finish these posters before my first class starts. Apparently, we are recruiting new members since half of the student journalists here already graduated."

"For a school like Alice Academy, I'm sure finding them won't be hard."

"I'll agree on that too."

Mikan hoped that the encouragement she made was enough. "I need to go. I already came early so I don't want to be late."

Sumire already nodded as a sign that she can go but then a very familiar and popular figure was caught by her sharp eyes. Looking at Natsume Hyuuga would make you adore his gorgeous features but then again you heart will be broken after that for the absolute truth that he was owned by Mikan. Even if the news that Natsume and Mikan were already living separate lives, the truth remained. Everybody still believed that they were meant for each other because it was very obvious that they love one another.

Sumire held her wrist, making her stop. "Mikan, how are things going with you and Natsume?"

The brunette gave her a small smile. "Sumire, let's not talk about that right now. See you around."

Sumire had a theory that Mikan did not know how much girls envied her for having a Natsume Hyuuga for a best friend and a very possible lover. He already won the hearts of Alice Academy students and he even was popular with other schools including Sumire's former school. He was smart, rich, and charming in his own way. But he never had any girlfriends before and Sumire found this odd but that was before she knew the existence of Mikan in Natsume's life. She was a witness to the ups and downs of their friendship and now she was witnessing the actual downfall. Although, the look in Natsume Hyuuga's eyes told her that this has not end yet and the juicy fact that they went to an out of town outing before school started. Surely, something happened there.

"Natsume Hyuuga," she whispered with a smile.

* * *

><p>"Happy first week of classes!" Mikan greeted, holding a box that was full of paper. She placed it on a table and crinkled her nose on how dusty it was even leaving a mark on her arms.<p>

This was the first time Koko got to talk to Mikan since classes started. "I didn't know that is something we should be happy about," he said sadly. Senior year meant pressuring you to get to a good college or find a good job and certainly not Koko's forte.

"Really?" Mikan asked with amusement in her face.

In a few days, new members will grace their office and the responsibility to orient them was in their hands. A few months from now, what happened last year will happen again. The Organization Ball was already in the calendar and so was the Winter Dance. Their office that was left dusty during the summer holidays will come back to its operation. With a big breath, Koko decided on what he wanted to do with the office. He explained the design to Mikan and she quickly agreed to it. The purpose was to make the office spacious even with its limited space.

"We will be the one leading this committee now," Mikan said.

"Sounds a lot of pressure."

Mikan shook her head. "Sounds a lot of fun," she corrected him.

After two hours of sorting things outs, they managed to have six bags to throw in the garbage. Cleaning an office regardless of how small was indeed tough but productive because they already had a plan on how to improve their committee. Koko grabbed their drinks and sandwiches. They chose an old bench in the garden to munch their lunch. It seemed like the heat of summer was still with the winds and the surroundings. Lunch was quiet not only for the fact that their mouths were busy digesting food but also because they were enjoying the quiet environment.

"I was secretly hoping to be in Hotaru's class this year but there had not been much changes on the sectioning," Mikan started the topic. She was finish with her lunch.

Koko sipped his drink until the last drop making a sound before throwing it in the trash. He found it typical of Mikan to wish something like that. "They thought it was better that way," he tried to reason out.

"Maybe because we already knew each other."

"But, isn't that great? Even if we're not classmates, we could still be good friends."

"Good thing, right?" Mikan asked for confirmation.

Koko did not reply anymore because he was unsure of the answer also. But if independency was something Natsume would like Mikan to learn then this was one way of teaching it to her. The hallway was filled with students and the stand out of them all was Natsume who was reading a book. Koko found it weird that he was reading rather than sketching. Natsume didn't seem to notice their presence unlike them but still Mikan did not even react.

"Mikan, how long do you plan on avoiding Natsume?" he asked with full concern.

"And suddenly we are talking about him."

"It's just that…"

"What, Koko?" she snapped.

Koko ran out of excuses at that moment but suddenly thought a common denominator between the two. "You're both my friends and I have been a witness in everything you went through," he said.

Mikan continued to look pissed but surprisingly turned her head to Natsume's direction and to her surprise he was already looking at her. It was not a staring contest but they sure looked at each other longer than a glance. She was the one who cut the stare and resumed walking.

"Is he worth it?" she asked quietly but her tone was desperate for answer.

Koko knew that whatever his answer would be, that will set a direction for Mikan. "Yes," he breathed out, willing to take responsibility for his answer.

"Why?"

"Don't ask me. Ask yourself." Koko chuckled at himself. So much for taking responsibility. In a serious note, he really wanted Mikan to realize the answer to her own questions because she could learn better that way.

Mikan pouted and stopped from walking. She leaned in to a wall with arms crossed and head slightly down. "He doesn't deserve it. Simply because I am over chasing him."

"Why can't you just get together?" Koko wailed.

"Why can't you stop mentioning about him? Aren't you the one who should tell me that I should move on?" she fought back.

Koko clenched his fists, his teeth gritting, and he was fed up of everything. He was fed up of the cycle, of the stubbornness, of the fight, of the cold shoulder, of everything. He dragged Mikan quickly so that if he would shout at her, people would not notice. He could feel the struggle and he could hear her complain but he ignored it all. Koko didn't even care to the fact that Natsume must have saw them and he would have to face his wrath later. When Koko found a private place, he let go of Mikan.

"Because you can't. You will never move on. You can't do something like that!"

"Koko, don't raise your voice on me."

"Why are you both so stubborn?"

Mikan couldn't take the surprise reaction Koko was giving her. "This is not the type of relationship that can be saved. We should leave it like that."

Koko shook Mikan with all his might, hoping that it would make her finally realize that they were taking a wrong path. "And live the rest of your life avoiding each other? Whatever you do, your life is already connected. No matter how you avoid him, you'll get to encounter him even without your consent."

"Koko, stop. We're in school. There are lots of places where that talk is appropriate."

"No."

"Did Natsume ask you to do this?"

"No!"

Mikan hit the wall with her fist, releasing the anger building inside. "Koko, why?"

Koko sat down to at least lessen the emotions he was feeling right now. He was glad that Mikan did the same since they both needed to calm down at the moment. "I hate seeing you guys sad. I want to get back to those days when we could just have fun and not think about anything."

"You think that forgiving Natsume would do the trick?" she asked as if considering the idea.

"Yes," was his consistent answer.

"Of course not," Mikan stubbornly disagreed.

Koko sighed. "Why is it so hard to convince you now?"

"Because that's what happens when the heart learns," Mikan answered with a smile.

"I didn't know you could become such a cold-hearted person after a heart break."

"It's not funny, Koko."

"I'm not saying that it is funny. What I'm trying to tell you is—"

"Make up with him. Right?"

"Yes."

"It's not that simple," Mikan replied, "If you were in my place, what will you do? You see, it is not easy. Forgiving a person and being together with him are the two hardest things to do in my life right now."

"What should I do to convince you?" he desperately asked.

Mikan shook her head and with a smile, she answered, "There's nothing you can do, Koko. It is all up to Natsume on how he could convince me that he's worth the forgiveness."

"So despite all your stubbornness and cold demeanor, there is this tiny spot in your heart that will forgive him?" Koko asked, hopeful and wishful.

"Yes," Mikan confirmed and added, "Everyone deserves that."

"Good."

* * *

><p>Eating nuts while sketching was certainly one of Natsume's ways of doing things. He had a deadline to reach but with the way things were going now, he could finish this in an instant. As an artist, his emotion could guide him very well just like now but he could not let out this heaviness he was feeling and this was not just about Mikan. It was a lot of things. And his friends approaching his table was something he could not decide if helpful or not.<p>

"She says she'll forgive you," Koko greeted with a grin.

"Cool," Ruka cheered.

Natsume hated that his peace was destroyed. "What are you two up to?" he asked, already guessing the fact that it had everything to do with Mikan.

"We're back to getting you and Mikan together. But now, we're an army!" Koko explained.

"You're both stupid."

Ruka frowned. "Didn't you hear what Koko said? Mikan is willing to forgive you."

Koko nodded like a child. "Yes. As long as you are worth it."

Natsume grinned, sighing in the process. "That's the thing. I'm not worth it."

Koko frowned and faced Ruka. "Translation? He's giving up."

"What more could I do? I explained to her everything."

Natsume was disappointed that it sounded like that. He was not giving up and was just giving Mikan the thing she only wanted from him and that was freedom. His friends were looking at him in a way they were not pleased. Natsume couldn't believe that his friends could make him feel helpless and useless. He thought of every possible way in order for Mikan to forgive him. He thought of giving her flowers, chocolates, and a romantic dinner but he figured that Mikan would just walk out. Proving to her that he was sorry would take a lot more than words. Natsume also wanted to know what else was lacking in his actions and that was why he reached a decision.

Ruka was not satisfied with his answer that was lacking in every way possible, "Simply because that is not enough. Natsume, why don't you do what you were supposed to do a thousand years ago?"

"What's that?" Koko asked ridiculously and when Ruka gave him a sharp look, he automatically understood it. "Oh! I agree with Ruka."

This conversation had happened so many times before that Natsume could easily get out of it. He would think about Mikan later since he had an important thing to settle now.

"Whatever. I need to be somewhere."

"Where?" Koko asked, alarmed.

Natsume wanted to answer to his worst nightmare but he couldn't seem to say it. His father once gave him hope and smiled to him like nothing would go wrong. Ioran was a good father until recently. If there was something Natsume wanted to remember on his father, it would be good memories. He was not that cold and he wanted to clear that issue out with Kaoru and Aoi but never got the time until now. Painful memories seemed to block out all the good ones and Natsume feared that this happened to Mikan. He did not want Mikan to remember him as the guy who inflicted her immeasurable plain. At least, he wanted to be the guy who used to be her best friend.

"To meet my old man," Natsume dryly answered, as if it was not a big deal. "It's the first step on being worth it, you know?"

Ruka and Koko did not talk anymore. They just watched Natsume's retreating figure with proud smiles plastered on their faces. Their raven-haired friend always took them by surprise. It was also very good news that Natsume was trying to make up with Ioran now. That was a really big move especially in Natsume's part. Their information about the Natsume-Ioran fight might be inadequate but whatever happened, they hoped for the best.

"That Natsume. He knew what to do from the very start."

"I wish everything will go well," Koko prayed.

Ruka patted his pal on the shoulder. "Let's hope for the best, Yome."

Koko slowly nodded before he realized what Ruka just called him. "Hey! What's with the last name? We're super close and yet—"

"And yet we have to go to class so shut it."

"Mean!"

* * *

><p>Desks were for writing, studying, and leaning your arms on. It was clearly not a chair so Mikan sitting on it was a total defeat of a desk's purpose. Her feet rested on the wooden chair while her right elbow was leaning on her right knee and as for her left hand, it was busy holding her phone. Free period sucked when you have nothing in mind worth doing. Actually, everyone was experiencing the benefits of free period now because of the annual faculty meeting every start of the semester. Mikan was attracting attention since she was not in her classroom. She figured out that it would be more fun to spend it with her friends and luckily they were just in their assigned room.<p>

Even with the free time, this did not stop Mikan friends from doing schoolwork. She also had schoolwork to do but she can do it later. She was busy thinking about how unfair Alice Academy was to her to make Anna, Nonoko, Yuu, and Hotaru classmates while she was left out on the other side of the world. Complaining about it would just result to unwanted attention so as long she could spend time with them like the usual, she would be fine with it. Students were hanging out everywhere in the hope of finding a peaceful environment to finish the task and the reason why the room was not filled with so many students, giving Mikan the liberty to sit on a desk and rest her feet on the chair.

"We barely got back to school and yet we have piles of school work," Anna wailed, throwing a piece of paper in her bag.

"Tell me about it," Mikan added, though it was only to make them feel that she was also having a hard time.

Nonoko scanned the notes she took for the whole week and groaned after realizing how many things were undone and yet time was insufficient. "I bet Hotaru is the only one who would never complain of homework and school projects," she said, a little jealous of Hotaru's calmness.

"Why would I? It's the best way to learn." Hotaru answered in the way Anna and Nonoko would feel more pressure.

"Woah," Mikan gasped, amazement filled her.

Nonoko simply shook her head in frustration. "I'll never think like Hotaru."

"Me too," Anna said.

Mikan watched them silently working hard while she just listened to the songs in her iPod. Somehow, seeing her friends made her relax a bit. It would be harder than usual to ask for their time. But they survived in the previous years so they would survive now. Besides, it would be selfish of her to take up all their free time just to hang out. She suddenly got bored of listening so she took a pen and paper to write something. At first, she repeatedly wrote her signature and then the words that she heard before but didn't know the meaning. Later on, she wrote things she liked about school and life and love. Mikan stopped when she felt a presence behind her.

"Nobara," said Anna, recognizing the presence of an unlikely person to visit them.

Nobara never minded approaching a person first in which Mikan never got a hang to. Her surprise visits always astounded the brunette. "Can we talk? In private?" she asked in a low voice, aware that the people around them thought that she was insinuating a catfight.

Mikan placed the paper on her pocket. Her eyes fixed on Natsume's ex-girlfriend. "Sure."

Nobara led her to the empty Art Room. It was neat, opposite to the last sight Mikan had on it. In case they shouted at each other, no one would hear them. But, of course, they would never end up on violence. It was both out of their leagues. Mikan did not worry on how the conversation will start because she had a good idea on what it was about. The only business Mikan had with Nobara was Natsume.

"I'm assuming this is about Natsume," Mikan began. Her eyes travelled around the room to look for some of Natsume's works and she was not disappointed because most of the paintings were his creation.

Nobara sat on the stool and was looking very relaxed. She had every reason to be calm since they were in her territory. She was happy enough that it did not take too much convincing to bring Mikan here. She promised to do something for Natsume and this was it. The only thing she was worrying about now was the success rate of this move.

"Actually, this is about you and Natsume."

Mikan smirked, not liking the way it sounded. "The way you say it, it's like we're a tandem."

"You were. You were best friends for heaven's sake. I know how everyone is persuading you to forgive him and I'm adding to them."

Instantly, Mikan looked irritated. What could she expect? This topic with Natsume was getting repetitive, making her want to gag. "Why are you all ganging up on me? Nobara, of all people, why are you doing this?" she asked with voice raised.

"I can relate."

Mikan laughed and then her face became serious. "You do?"

"I had a relationship just like your and Natsume. He left me, I was devastated. I refused to believe that real love exists and Natsume came but unfortunately, he cannot love me back. Rei came back and this time he was better, more organized, his life finally is taking the right direction. I accepted his apology and explanation and to think I was so scared of welcoming him back to my life but now, I think it was one of the best decisions I made in my life."

Mikan felt stupid. Nobara was right about the relate thing. "What if you go to the cycle again? You know? He'll hurt you again, and again, and again."

Nobara smiled. "I can understand the trauma but we learn a lesson in every pain. If that happens again, then that's the time you should take him out of your life. But, Mikan Sakura, knowing Natsume and how much he wants you in his life, I doubt if he'll hurt you this severe again."

"It's hard to trust him," Mikan firmly said.

"Yes, that is just a natural reaction with what happened but you love him nonetheless. Right?"

Mikan met Nobara's gaze and replied, "Yes."

The honesty overwhelmed Nobara. It was like Mikan was just admitting it for the first time. She could feel that Mikan's love remained after all this time. Nobara wanted to tell her all the things she and Natsume talked about but she thought it was his responsibility to tell Mikan how much he love he had for the brunette.

"And he loves you, too. Meaning, the only problem you have to resolve now is the problem you two have."

"Everyone's waiting for my next move, I presume."

Nobara nodded, amused at the fact that Mikan was fully aware of their want to end their story. "You always keep us guessing and waiting."

"Right."

"But, don't let us tell you what to do. Think of it. Is he worth it?"

Mikan bit her lip. "Yes."

"Do you understand his reasons now?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he loves you?"

"Ever since."

It was the perfect answer. Natsume loved Mikan ever since.

"Will it make you happy to be with him?"

"Yes."

The only thing Mikan should be doing now was to go to Natsume and tell him that everything would be alright but knowing Mikan, that would not be the scenario. At least, there was an assurance that these two would make a big comeback. It was the only thing everybody's waiting for. Finally.

"Then make the next move, Mikan."

"Thanks, Nobara."

After the meaningful conversation she had with her former rival, Mikan came back with a different radiance in her face. She was travelling the hallway when she saw her three friends waiting for her. Anna and Nonoko were laughing and looked like cheering each other while Hotaru had an unusual happy look.

"That was an enlightening talk, wasn't it?" Hotaru asked with a smile.

Mikan looked alarmed. "Did you listen?" she asked rapidly.

Anna dove in between Hotaru and Mikan and with a cheerful face, she said, "We planned it, sort of."

"And why did you think she could do it of all people?" Mikan asked, confused and curious.

Hotaru simply smirked. "That's the beauty of rivalry."

* * *

><p>They could not remember the last time they ate together. Even the happy memories were slowly fading now. It was in the middle of afternoon and yet they were going to have lunch but the truth that they were going to eat together was weirder. They used to do this but now the feeling was so foreign. Kaoru was trying her best to smile, Aoi looked like she wanted to say something, Natsume was busy gazing at the window, and Ioran was eyeing his son carefully. He secretly hoped that Natsume would let him deliver his full explanation since that was the point of this gathering.<p>

"This is a very unusual family gathering," Natsume remarked, hating the awkward silence enveloping their table and seats.

Kaoru found her voice. "Well, this is a family matter that is why it's good for everyone to be here."

Natsume nodded at his mother before paying attention to his father. "All I want is your explanation. I'll take it from there."

It was like he was in a hot seat, waiting for questions to bombard him but that did not happen. No one asked so all that's left was his golden explanation. Ioran hoped he chose the right time to face his family. He did not know if words would ever convince them especially Natsume who did great while he was away. He made mistakes and sadly the biggest mistakes he made were directed to his family.

"Family will always be one of the greatest things in life. I lost grasp of that fact. When Aoi was growing up, I didn't want her to be away that was why I was forcing her to handle the company and I did the same to you, my son. Kaoru was busy. I was busy. It felt empty going home when spending your time with your family should be scheduled now."

"That's why you chose to have an affair with another woman?" Natsume coldly added for him.

"Natsume!" yelled Kaoru.

"I didn't have an affair," Ioran cleared, looking at Natsume's eyes.

The boy shrugged. "Still—"

"It's not an affair for the hundredth time!" Ioran yelled and thankful that they were in a private room. "And I don't think I have to explain further because it is not an affair. When I was gone, I didn't come to her. When we were all miserable and confused, I never contacted her. Simply because we didn't have an affair."

"I'm not blind," Natsume defended.

Ioran looked heartbroken. Actually, he looked weary and older than his age. It was the effect of being miserable when you had the choice not to be. He clenched his fist and looked down. "But your heart is. For me. You thought that the mistake I've occurred to Aoi will be passed on forever."

Natsume shot his father an angry look. He did not like the sound of that sentence. "Are you blaming me on this?" he asked with his tone raising.

"I know how scary it was. Making the mistake and then regretting it because you feel a thousand times worse. I wanted to be a good father to you two. I wanted to be a good husband to Kaoru. I wanted us to be the ideal family. I still want that now. If you could just give me a second chance."

The drama was too heavy for them to handle. Kaoru started sobbing and they could very well tell that Ioran was crying also. Aoi was trying her best to not let the tears spill. The image was so new to Natsume that he felt his heart clenched in pain. This was the result of that one change. Everyone was acting normal and fine but in reality they were all broken. All this crying made Natsume feel like this was his responsibility.

He stood up and was about to leave the room when Aoi speedily blocked his way.

"Natsume, of all people, you should know what Dad is going through. Asking for an another opportunity takes a lot of guts and the sinking feeling that anytime that person or people might not give you that is dreadful. I don't want a broken family and I know I can forgive him."

"What does Mom wants?" he asked, looking at Kaoru who was consoling Ioran already.

"Mom wants you to make your own decision."

"Then I'll choose the right one."

Love was known to be blind. It could only see the beautiful things. When love was mixed with pain that was when you ought to realize that everything was not sweet and fluffy. It could destroy all dreams you built with your special person. Natsume was slowly understanding why his mother, despite of the bad things Ioran did, wanted to accept him still. She loved him. She needed him. Since he was willing to change, there was no use to be a hindrance.

* * *

><p>"Did you hear?" Yuka asked while making her infamous chicken sandwich.<p>

Mikan was currently scanning her favorite teenage magazine's past issues. "Hear what?" she asked and totally uninterested. She was already munching Yuka's first batch of sandwich.

Yuka clapped at the amount of sandwich she was making. It was more than what she estimated. "Ioran is back. Apparently, they all made up."

Mikan stopped from eating, her whole body tensed. "Natsume accepted him?" she asked.

"Ahmm, it's the whole family's decision I think?" Yuka replied.

Mikan smiled at the good news. She actually wanted to jump in joy and tell the Hyuugas that they made a fine decision. She could tell basing on her experience with her own father. But, when she realized that she was not that close to the Hyuugas now, she regained her composure.

"Okay, that's good to know. At least, they are trying to be complete again."

Yuka sighed and paused from finishing her creation. She wiped her hands with the use of her apron and approached her daughter. "Mikan, I know how important this is to you so you can run to him and ask him anything you want."

Mikan tensed again. "That's. Not. Possible."

"Honey, I believe that everything in this world is possible. You can run to him and talk, that's a very easy thing to do."

The brunette glanced at the home of the Hyuugas. "Thanks, Mom."

"Good luck, Mikan."

She ran as fast she can, even surprising the household with her appearance. Ioran Hyuuga was the one who welcomed her, much to her surprise and happiness. Her Aunt Kaoru pointed upstairs, signifying that Natsume was indeed upstairs. Aoi hugged her for a moment and finally resumed her running to get to Natsume's room. There was no hesitation in her part whether she was welcome or not. She was not even worried if she would disturb Natsume in the most awkward situation like just getting out of the shower. She blushed but then shook her head. This scene happened before and the end was heartbreaking. Mikan hoped that the same would not happen again.

She almost hit the door when she opened it and was glad to see a fine Natsume. The way he was sitting in his bed, sketching as always was a scene she tremendously missed. Her courage earlier seemed to fade because right now she didn't know what to say.

"Mikan," said Natsume, finally acknowledging her presence and still surprised at her visit.

"Hi."

"Why are you here?"

Mikan completely entered the room but let go of the door which automatically closed. "I heard about your father. At first, I couldn't believe it but then seeing him downstairs proved me wrong," she said in a way she was building up her courage. "I can guess it was a very hard decision."

"It was. Even in a little way, I can relate to you."

"Did you hate your father that much?" she asked.

"Yes."

"To the point you wanted him out of your life completely?"

"Is that the way you feel towards me?" Natsume asked with a smirk.

"Can you blame me?" Mikan retorted playfully.

Natsume frowned. "No. I perfectly deserve to be hated."

Mikan shook her head. "I don't think so. Because I know you, somehow. Forgetting about our friendship is one of the hardest parts of our separation and every time I get back to that, I can tell you are a good person."

"Thanks. Thanks for coming here."

Natsume almost forgot the feeling of happiness but this day was definitely making it to his list of the happiest days of his life. Mikan came for him and he could not ask for more. This was a good sign that she didn't hate him that much or she just cared so much of their family being a family again. He took a few more steps to be near her, hoping that she wouldn't mind the distance.

"Congratulations for making another step in your life," Mikan said.

Natsume heart leapt for a moment. "I want to be worth it."

"I know."

"Thank you for always recognizing my efforts, Mikan."

"You're welcome."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>How was your Christmas and New Year celebration? I updated. Yey! I don't want to surprise you with a final chapter so I'll say now that CY will end on the 28<strong>**th**** chapter. Thank you for giving me your wonderful reviews from last chapter. I thought you'll all criticize me for the kiss but that didn't happen so I was glad to take the risk. I have few more days before classes begin again so hopefully I can do something productive within those days. **

**Thank you for waiting, by the way. It's been more than a month. I hope I can update the next chapter soon since it is almost finished but school is just around the corner but still, I'll do my best. I hope you'll reward me with your mercy reading Chapter 27. Just kidding. **

**Thank you for reading the 26****th**** chapter of Chasing You. **


	27. A Love That Saves

**A/N: **Kinda like the last chapter. Listening to Napa while writing this.

**Chasing You**

**Chapter Twenty-seven**

_**A Love That Saves**_

_You're not lost. You just want to be found._

Another busy day at Alice Academy started. Students were racing to get to the main door so that they'll be just in time for the bell. Noise erupted in the wide and newly-painted hallways but they barely noticed it since they were busy with their own gossip and discussion. Suddenly, everyone had their eyes fixed on the main entrance since the eternal duo entered the vicinity of flocking students. Some were confused because no news that they made up came but here they were, came to school at the same time and walking in the same pace. Some saw it a normal circumstance since they believed that they were meant for each other anyway but some were speechlessly surprised.

The locker was where Hotaru and the others were. At the exact moment she turned to face her friends, Natsume Hyuuga passed by with a silly smile on his face that she thought already forgot how to smile. Nonoko seemed to have noticed it judging by her squeals and jumpiness. Just after a few seconds, the gossip erupted in the hallway taking the form of the noise earlier. Hotaru knew that at any second now Mikan would display her face in front of them and deny that anything happened. She had been bugging her brunette friend to spill the beans but always answered with "None". Hotaru was never satisfied with a one-word answer, moreover a lie. After their mysterious disappearances at the same time a few months ago, she knew something was off.

Not that Hotaru was against it. She was supporting the idea wholeheartedly but if only Mikan would become more honest. She didn't know that heartbreaks could make a person secretive.

"Natsume looks better. Did something happen?" asked Nonoko.

"How should I know?" Hotaru replied. Natsume Hyuuga was none of her business. What Natsume Hyuuga does to Mikan Sakura would be her business.

Nonoko pouted, facing the Ice Queen. "Oh come on Hotaru. Mikan always tells you first."

Hotaru simply rolled her eyes and wanted to tell them that circumstances changed. She was not even sure if Mikan would tell anyone about everything. "I already told you that I have no idea," she replied and this time with a colder tone.

Nonoko shrugged her shoulders in defeat. "Well, we will know sooner or later."

"Guys!" a loud voice yelled behind them.

"Hey, Anna."

"I have news," Anna delivered with much energy.

Nonoko looked interested. As always, gossip was their common denominator. "What, Anna?"

Anna paused for a moment and squealed even before revealing the information. Absentmindedly, Nonoko squealed with her. "Natsume and Mikan came in school together," she finally said.

The brief silence was a normal reaction but Nonoko's jaw dropped since she really was surprised. "For real?" she asked, her voice was rising on every letter.

"What the…" mumbled Hotaru.

"Look, Mikan's here!" Anna pointed behind them.

Mikan paused from walking, inspecting the look of her friends then she could already tell what they were thinking. She continued walking and this time with head slightly down. Mikan was not pleased at the interpretation people gathered by simply getting at school on the same time. Even so, she was ready to explain the truth to her friends.

"Whatever you three are thinking, it's not correct. We just merely got in the same time at the door."

"Defensive are we?" Hotaru teased.

"Hotaru, I know how fast gossip is and I know that this has already reached the elementary school building or worse the faculty room."

Mikan, being the drama queen, only made Hotaru roll her eyes. That gossip would not even make it to the bad category and yet Mikan was overreacting. Seriously, everything about them had the potential of being a big deal even though most of the times it was nonsense.

Anna laughed at the brunette's explanation and refused to believe it. "But you can't deny that you are in better terms now. Heck, he even smiled at me when I bumped into him yesterday!"

Mikan looked incredulous. "Stop exaggerating, Anna."

"I am so not!"

"What happened, Mikan?" asked Hotaru and this time in a more serious note.

Mikan shook her head. "Nothing significant."

"I fail to believe that."

Mikan was pressured from the stares her friends gave her and finally opened her mouth. "Fine. I kinda congratulated him for mending things with his father."

They were all relieved and even Hotaru added, "Good to know."

"What? You guys are not angry?"

Anna shook her head. "No, of course not. It was the perfect thing to do. I'm glad you with what you did."

"Wait. Don't tell me that you three believe that we can still be together."

Nonoko giggled and glanced at Hotaru and Nonoko. "Face the reality, Mikan. We all believe that."

"The heck," Mikan mumbled in disbelief.

They were expecting so much from her. She thought they just wanted them to be in good terms again but being together was an absurd idea. Very absurd. It could be a very nice idea months ago but now it was just an impossible thing to happen.

"Good morning, Mikan!"

Hotaru was kinda relieved that Koko was here to keep Mikan company. "Now that Yome is here, we might as well leave."

Mikan didn't even say anything and they just left. Koko came to her as if something divine happened. She remembered the look he had months ago but couldn't remember why he had that look.

"I think today is one of those miraculous days when you stepped on Natsume Hyuuga's holy foot and he said it was nothing. His good mood is the best!"

Mikan rolled her eyes, leaning on her locker. "Not you too," she mumbled.

"We can all notice that," Ruka said, appearing from the crowd.

"Ruka, please. How many people should describe me how good Natsume's mood is?"

Ruka just laughed. He liked this kind of scene. There was no bitterness or sadness at all. "Really? I don't know. I came here to drag Koko with me."

"Whatever," Mikan replied, annoyed.

Ruka dragged Koko by the shoulders and as they were already leaving, he stopped. Mikan expectantly looked at her. "But if a lot of people say so, then it must be real."

"I'm going to class," Mikan excused, refusing to believe their perception.

Koko and Ruka simply watched her disappear in the crowd. So early in the morning and yet a significant thing already happened. The two acted like nothing was happening at first but then Ruka chose to ask a question.

"Sooo, Natsume in a good mood?" he asked with a voice like he was leading somewhere.

Koko smiled and tried his best not to laugh. "Yes."

Ruka thought of a good idea. "We should trick him into treating us a good lunch."

"Great idea," Koko agreed with one thumb up and was ready for his exit.

"Wait, Koko."

Koko turned around. "Yes?"

Ruka smiled at his friend's kindness and innocence. "You do know that if they ever get back together, it was most of your effort."

Ruka wanted to relay a message to Koko. He was not as oblivious as the others. He was almost sure that with all those months Koko comforted Mikan, his friend felt something. Maybe Koko was all supportive and everything but Ruka wondered if Koko really wanted this. He watched Koko thought about the statement he just released. Ruka really did hit a spot.

"I wouldn't worry about that," Koko replied.

Ruka nodded, convincing himself that Koko was telling the truth. "Funny how you became this close to Mikan Sakura."

Koko smiled. "Yeah, it's funny. Come one. We have a Natsume Hyuuga to trick."

The corners of the lips, the eyes, and other movements of the body couldn't hide a person's true feeling. Ruka proved that today. Koko's feelings may be left unknown but knowing it did not harm his friendship with Natsume made Ruka relieved. It only meant that Koko had a larger understanding for everyone than any of them. It was painful enough that someone you cared for will never notice you that way and still Koko chose to make a way for Mikan and Natsume to make up. Today, his respect for Koko heightened up and Ruka was sure that one day his friend's efforts will pay up. Good guys deserved their happiness, too.

* * *

><p>Mikan was travelling the hallway to get to her next class when she saw someone waving to get her attention. In her mind, she immediately counted how long it had been since she last saw him and was surprised that it was very recent. She immediately ran to him and greeted him with a big hug. She almost thought she was seeing an illusion but actually feeling his physical presence proved her wrong.<p>

"Oh my gosh, Tsubasa!" she exclaimed with a smile on her face. She really was surprised to see him. Before, it would take almost a year just to see Tsubasa.

"Mikan! Long time no see."

"What are you doing here?"

Tsubasa looked from left to right, wanting to be careful and he was thankful that there weren't so many students around. "I want to take you out for lunch," he said.

Mikan was not comfortable at the idea. "I have school," she said. She did not want to miss the classes she had for the day.

"Missing the rest of the day wouldn't put you in trouble, right?" Tsubasa tried to convince.

Mikan thought of what he just said and placed a suspicious look. "The last time we met you made me drink alcohol and now you are influencing me to cut school."

Tsubasa knew that getting Mikan out of school would be the hardest part of the mission. But he was good at convincing her so a little pushover and he knew the next step will commence. It was just that today he needed to do something significant for Mikan before he will leave and see her again when there is time. A few days ago, he received a request to come to Tokyo to help in settling an issue and now he was here, trying to help.

"Look, you're not the only one and there is a first time for everything so do it now. I'm going back to my crib after a few hours. Please, just have lunch with me?"

Mikan was already convinced. "Fine."

Tsubasa smiled in satisfaction and slightly shoved Mikan towards their vehicle. The second sensitive part of the plan was starting. Tsubasa hoped for the best and that Mikan would not run away. If she would run, that would defeat all the effort he put just to make this happen.

"This isn't your car," Mikan said.

Tsubasa's worry was evident in his expression but then he tried to act as if nothing was wrong. "You take the passenger seat and I'll take the back seat," he said, ignoring her observation.

"Aren't you going to drive?" Mikan asked once again and this time she was really suspicious.

"We have a special someone to do that?" Tsubasa replied, obviously nervous.

"Who?" Mikan asked, opening the door and saw someone she was not expecting. "Natsume?" she greeted.

Tsubasa quickly got into the car. "Told you. You're not the only one."

She had no choice but to get in. Mikan shook her head because she fell into Tsubasa's trap again. She turned her head backwards just to glare at him with all her might. "Tsubasa, you sly fox. Don't tell me you drove all the way here to set us up."

He almost drowned on his seat. "Oh ho ho. Don't be too full of yourself, my dear."

"Where to, Imbeciles?" Natsume asked, interrupting their conversation.

"To my favorite place," Tsubasa answered, gulping. He knew that Natsume was angry at him at the moment but might thank him in the future.

* * *

><p>Mikan shook her head in disbelief. "The train station is your favorite place? You're kidding me."<p>

"I told you that I have only a few hours left," Tsubasa answered and exited the car.

Mikan's eyes widened and in alarm, she also got off the car. "Tsubasa! I thought it was at least five hours."

Tsubasa simply shrugged as he readied his things. He hated lying to Mikan but desperate times required desperate measures. He didn't care about the fact that he was hours away to a place where he was needed, his cousin and his almost-little sister needed him also. He started walking to board the train but then Mikan was demanding for an explanation. He could see the confusion in her eyes. Tsubasa chuckled inwardly. It seemed like Mikan forgot that he was their number one fan. He even went as far to make Natsume jealous to push him to make a move.

"Shush, Mikan. I want to do something good here and I really hate being flooded by calls courtesy of Aoi Hyuuga and company so just spend the rest of the day with your best friend and love of your life."

"He's not—"

"Just do it," Tsubasa ordered. "I'll say goodbye for now and I hope when I get home good news will flood me and not Aoi's whining."

Mikan was about to argue with him. She was lost whenever Natsume's near. What they were asking of her was impossible. But she thought about their efforts and they even made Tsubasa come here to trick her because they knew she would listen to him. She saw the assurance on his face and she couldn't help but take a look at Natsume's figure inside the car. Her gaze returned to Tsubasa whose expression was telling her that nothing would go wrong. She nodded, earning a smile from her big brother.

"Goodbye, Tsubasa."

He waved at her and then he was gone. Mikan walked back to the car with slow steps. She even sighed before reentering. Natsume started the engine but they did not move yet. She thought he was waiting for her to say something. When she was about to talk, Natsume said something.

"You don't have to do this. We can go back to school."

Mikan shook her head and starting to realize that this could be a good idea of fun. "We don't have to. Maybe this is a good idea."

"If you say so," Natsume said and started driving.

"Besides, I missed spending time with you."

Mikan mentally slapped herself for saying that abruptly. She was really easy to get. No wonder she got lost in words whenever Natsume was around. His presence alone could make her stutter and alter her thought process.

Natsume smirked. "You just missed it while I am desperate to spend time with you."

The brunette faked a cough and focused on the road. She even made a little stretching to relax herself. In the past, whenever she went out with Natsume , he was usually the one who decides where to go but this time she was aiming to lead on. "Come on. Let's go somewhere far."

They were currently on an expressway. Mikan was busy with her phone, waiting for Yuka to reply on her text. What she was doing now would make her Mom worry for sure so before Yuka would go frantic, she would already inform her. Actually, her phone was a lifesaver. It kept her distracted from Natsume's quiet presence. He would ask her casual questions and she would just reply shortly. She was worried that Natsume might think she was regretting her decision to spend the day with him so she needed to start a conversation quickly.

"I just got my mother's permission," Mikan informed.

"Good then."

"It must be nice that you don't need to ask your parents' permission to go somewhere this far."

"It would be sadder if I do," he replied arrogantly.

Mikan's eyes narrowed and her lips formed a smile. His arrogance never failed to amuse her in every way possible. It had been long since she became a subject of his arrogant attitude. Some things could never change, really. But Mikan preferred a Natsume like that. She did not want to see him stress himself. It was so out of his character.

"Yeah, you the mighty one."

"And you the good girl," was his retort.

Mikan did not want to be labeled the good girl so she had the urge to be defensive. "Me cutting classes doesn't match with my good girl attitude."

"You are a good girl if you can tolerate my presence now," he said.

Mikan wanted to agree with him because she took it as a joke but then again it seemed like Natsume was serious when he said that. She could not say something funny after that so she planned not to continue the attempt.

"Remember when I said that the last thing I can do in this world is to hate you?" she asked to remind him. "I'm afraid that is coming true."

Natsume smiled a little but he made sure Mikan didn't see it. He felt genuinely happy hearing that. At least, he had a proof that Mikan didn't hate him. It was like the atmosphere changed and the tension faded. Suddenly, he took it as a sign that he was allowed to tell some stories now just to update Mikan on what was happening on his life now. He also wanted to her to lead the conversation afterwards.

"Kaoru is better. She's never been this radiant before."

"It's a proof that she really loves your father and from what I heard, your father feels the same."

"What's more amazing is the fact that she has forgiven him," Natsume sounded really amazed.

"Maybe because he's worth it," Mikan said silently.

Before, he was full of hatred with his father but now Natsume considered him as someone to look up to when it comes to convincing the person you love that you are worth it. He had no idea where they were heading but he felt completely fine with money on his pocket and Mikan acting alright. The only thing he needed to do now was to prove that he deserved a second chance. Mikan chasing him was over long ago. If he had to wait for another ten years, he would. He couldn't stand seeing Mikan with another guy and he couldn't fathom the idea that he could be with someone else for forever other than Mikan. Just by thinking that she wouldn't be able to forgive made his heart clench.

"I wonder how I can live up with your expectations."

Mikan found it odd that such statements would come from Natsume himself. It was like he was begging to be heard and understood. A few kilometers away from their location, she could already see the seaside. She glanced at Natsume and knew that he was planning to make a stop, finally. Just a moment and Natsume found a parking space. They both got off the car and started walking. There were so many people and most of them were couples hanging out on the side. Absentmindedly, Mikan looked at Natsume who seemed to be unaware of her awkwardness. She felt ugly beside him. He was tall, good-looking, and in any angle you look, smart.

Confidence was something she needed to develop especially when she was with him. Mikan then remembered that she had yet to reply on Natsume's last sentence. He was a few steps away when she took the liberty of holding his wrist which surprised him. The wind blew hard and for a moment there, she felt confident.

"Maybe just be yourself and tell the truth always," she said.

Natsume did not follow her at first but immediately knew what she was saying. "It's nice to pretend that everything is okay between us."

"They all believe we can fix this."

Natsume looked at her eye and with a determined voice, he said, "I want to fix this."

Mikan gulped, not knowing what to say. She nervously turned her head, breaking their eye contact. She pointed at a seafood restaurant. "Why don't we eat?" she asked with a smile and didn't even wait for his reply, she just dragged him.

They entered the restaurant which had not many people dining in. It obviously served seafood because of the different sea creatures as decorations. Even the chairs were shaped like a fish and the tables looked like weeds. Mikan chose the one near the window. She let Natsume ordered for her main course but she was the one who added the desserts. She already discussed the payment terms to Natsume and when they almost quarrel about whose gonna pay, they both decided they will share. She missed arguing with him about little things.

Natsume watched her consume all the food they ordered. As usual, her stomach couldn't fail to amaze him. He took it as a good sign that Mikan could still eat that much even when he was in front of her. He figured that she would act different but that did not happen and he was glad. He loved this outing with her so far. It had been so long since he last spent time alone with her. She finished her food like she was still hungry. He was too busy observing her that his food was still half full.

"I was so hungry to the point my stomach is absolutely growling," Mikan exclaimed, eating the dessert.

"Eat slowly. You have all the time in the world."

Mikan smiled with food on her mouth. "I don't know about that since tomorrow is definitely coming."

"Just shut up and eat," he commanded.

He was playing with food when he heard her say. "Being with my father has made me smarter. Aren't you proud of me?"

"Oh, you're smart in the first place?" he teased.

"Not everyone can be as excellent as you," Mikan replied, pouting.

"So I've been told."

Mikan paused from eating when she remembered he was talking about her. "Just eat will you?" she ordered. "I swear this is the best coffee jelly I've tasted! We should bring some back to my fridge."

He loved that she was acting natural. He couldn't even trace the anger she felt because of his decisions. They just came out from the restaurant and he could already guess that Mikan was up for more food. He wanted to talk to her already. He did not want to miss that opportunity today especially after his most hated cousin did him a favor. Music was playing a dew meters away from them and Natsume figured that he did not want to talk near that place. Time was running out and the sun was setting.

"I'm so full!" Mikan said, stretching her arms upward.

Natsume looked at the opposite direction from the music and where people barely reached. "Come."

"Where?"

"We will walk."

"Oh, time flies so fast. We're eating for almost two hours."

Mikan did not receive a reply from that. They were just walking slowly like they were careful at every step they made. She couldn't figure out what he was thinking and she knew that he was just waiting for the right time to talk. Since Mikan already decided that she would lead this trip and she promised Nobara that she would make the next move, she would do it today. Mikan went past Natsume and faced him, just a few inches away from where he was standing.

"You said it's nice to pretend that everything is fine between us. If we are in good terms, what will you do with me now?" She sounded desperate but she didn't care anymore.

Nastume smirked. "You wouldn't wanna know."

She didn't get it at first but then she blushed. "Pervert!"

Natsume refrained from laughing and then his expression turned more serious. "Maybe holding your hand. How about you?"

"That also and I'll be using your fine arm to lean my head to," Mikan thought aloud.

Natsume smiled knowing what she was thinking. "Sounds good to me."

Mikan nodded. She already figured that Natsume would say something like that. She sat on top of the seawall while Nastume just leaned his shoulders on it. "Do you know how your minions are trying their hardest to convince me to forgive you?" she asked.

"Tell me about it." He sounded annoyed.

"Even Nobara is involved now."

"Those idiots," Natsume mumbled.

Mikan eyed him and he started back with his mesmerizing red eyes. "Don't you feel a little thankful that they are helping you with this?" she asked, almost stuttering.

"I'm more than grateful," he admitted.

Mikan automatically smiled at Natsume's honesty. She loved it more when he was telling the truth. "My Dad will visit Japan next break. You two should meet up since he always wanted to be introduced to the boy who broke my heart."

"My heart is broken too."

"Woah. Did I just hear that from you? Amazing."

He ignored the teasing and told her, straight-faced, "Let's be back to being friends again."

Mikan felt pressured replying to that. She was still afraid at getting hurt by him. Nobara said it was normal and she only needed to fight it. Her heartbeat increased and she felt like floating. Natsume must have noticed her nervousness that's why he looked away. Mikan jumped from her seat and dragged Natsume.

"I'm hungry! Let's go get some ice cream!"

Mikan needed lots of sugar in order to gain her confidence again and good thing there was an ice cream shop around. She consumed two cones before she talked to him again. The waiting must have frustrated him but Mikan thought that would be fine. If she had waited for him, the he must do the same.

"About being friends again, you should give me more time."

"I understand," Natsume said. "Honestly, I don't think I even deserve your consideration."

"What happened made me stronger and smarter, I told you that earlier. I was wrong also for pushing myself to you that far without even thinking what you had in mind."

"Thank you for spending the day with me," was what he said.

Mikan glanced at her watch. "Oh, it's already evening. Time really did fly so fast. Our first year anniversary of separation is fast approaching."

"That fast, huh?"

"Natsume?" she called out. "Can we pretend that everything is okay now?"

"Why?"

Mikan stepped back, thinking that she wanted to be selfish now. "I really want to hold hands with you, lean on your shoulder, hug you, and tell you that we can be more than friends."

Natsume looked at her, surprised at what she said. He was not expecting so much emotion from Mikan in one day. "I want to kiss you."

Mikan's gaze was fixed at him. "You can," she said and he kissed her.

They kissed like no one was around. They kissed like nothing miserable happened before. They kissed like lovers would do. The feeling was infinite, absolute, and unthinkable. They loved each other. Their relationship messed up at some points but here they were now, proving that love could conquer all. Their relationship was not always full of smiles. They went through the hardest parts a relationship could go. They both went back to the first time they met and how they never imagined they would become like this. It was so clear that they were meant for each other. Fate just tested them. They would forever be friends and they would forever be with each other.

They both knew it would take time but they were willing to wait. In the end, it could be worth it.

"I want to be the girl who will walk you home. Just like before. Every day."

Natsume smiled, kissing her forehead and hugged her tightly after. "And I just want to love you."

**End of Chapter**

* * *

><p><strong>I'll be saving my note for the epilogue and I know this story has no prologue(though I did write one but might as well not published it) but still I'm writing an epilogue. I hope this chapter is to your liking. I don't want to add more coz I'll be saving it for 28<strong>**th****. **

**Thank you for reading the 27****th**** chapter of Chasing You. Thank you for all your reviews last chapter. : ) **


	28. Epilogue

**Chasing You**

**Epilogue**

_Every ending is another beginning._

Closing Ceremony started at exactly three in the afternoon. It was the biggest event that marked the end of the school year. It was the day when outstanding students finally received their most-awaited awards for all the extra hard work they put on the past year. Trees were memorable to look at because of their beauty and uniqueness. The way trees complement the entirety of Alice Academy's buildings was remarkable today. Every corner of Alice Academy looked intensified, like it had been polished and beautified. The classrooms' looked empty, with no noisy and running students in the hallways and the picture made Mikan sad. She never liked Closing Ceremonies. It's like ending a very wonderful thing just because it was required to. She carefully studied Alice Academy like she had been studying for her final exams. It saddened her that she had to grow up and move on.

Everyone was asked to stand up. The sun was setting and time was running out. A few words from the principal and they would be all clapping and hugging each other. Mikan compared this year's Opening and Closing ceremonies and they were completely different specifically in the feelings part. One day, you had so much to look forward to and now it was about to end. She looked up and saw the stage packed with faculty and staff. She would miss her two favorite teachers Narumi and Serina and even Jinno who had been cruel to her. She would miss every late night study session, outing with classmates, those random days when you just wanted to sleep at class, the cafeteria food, every laugh, every fight, every memory.

The crowd applauded and Mikan involuntarily followed. Suddenly, everyone was hugging and this was it. Congratulatory greetings were most of the conversations she heard. Mikan started walking toward her classmates and started hugging each one of them. Her tears were slowly flowing but she could not help it since she hated being separated with them. After hugging them farewell, she went to her closest friends. Anna's make-up was smudged because she had been crying also. Mikan smiled at the fact that she was not the only one taking this graduation emotionally. Yuu came after Anna and gave her a handshake. Somehow, Mikan wanted everything to be stored in her memory. From her point of view, everything moved slowly but time was fast.

Ruka came in full view and they hugged each other shortly. High school was such an adventure. Mikan was more than lucky to experience every side of it and lived it to the fullest. A few moments passed and Hotaru called her from behind. Mikan's immediate reaction was run to her and engulfed her with a massive hug. That's when Mikan's tears exploded.

"What a crybaby," Hotaru mumbled and caressed Mikan's hair.

Mikan's hug tightened. "So sad," she whispered.

Hotaru broke the contact. "Everyone is happy, Mikan. Cheer up. Don't be too sad. This is not the last."

Mikan sniffed, feeling ashamed of her actions for once. "I'm not." Still, she defended her emotion in the end.

Thirty minutes had passed and still the academy was very much alive. Mikan made her way to her classroom and just stared at it. She was trying to recover from all the crying she did. Two months to go and she really had to go. She needed to stop acting like a child and just accept the facts. Looking from the window, she could see almost everyone on the school ground. Lights were working on the hallways but not inside the rooms. She just sat from one of the desks, silent and thinking.

"You are still crying," a voice coming from the door said which frightened her a bit.

Mikan shrugged and followed Koko'as pace as he walked towards her. "I just hate goodbyes, Koko."

Koko smiled as if he felt the same. He observed from the window also and suddenly the smile faded. He hated goodbyes, too. "Same here. High school is my life."

"It's just so funny to think that we are now either hunting for a job or going to a good college. It was also sad at the same time. Gosh, I will miss this place."

Koko faced Mikan again. "Me too. More than anything."

"High school will always be the best," Mikan said, looking so determined.

"Yes, always."

The brunette shifted position, enabling her to see Koko closer. "I hate this part of growing up. It doesn't feel right. There so many things I want to do and I want to do it here. In Alice Academy, with you guys."

Hearing Mikan's feelings was not new to Koko. But he could only appreciate it, on how she never wanted to part from everyone. She was so attached that made it hard to let go. Koko crossed his arms, thinking hard on how he would say it to Mikan. "That's not really feasible right now, to tell you the truth. But, hey, we never know. Maybe tomorrow is such a good place to be."

If time travel was possible, they would be willing to go back again and again. Imagine if you could correct or redo something that happened in the past. The consequences were hazy but the adventure would always make it worthwhile. Mikan looked outside, thinking that it was improper for her to say goodbye to high school in this way. For her to be so emotional was normal but for her to hate what could happen tomorrow or the next month and the coming years was certainly not good. Her lips curved up. She was thinking so hard about this when today was supposed to be full of happy memories.

There was silence and contemplation until Anna came and invited them out. "Hey! What are you two doing here? Come on outside and let's take gazillion of photos."

"Just a second," Koko replied, standing up. He felt that Mikan remained in her place so he took the liberty to give her hope.

"Mikan," he called out.

She was pre-occupied for a moment but still answered Koko. "Yes?"

"We still have one summer vacation left. Let's all spend that together."

Mikan nodded at the idea with the feeling that this year's going to be different. "I'm sure, Koko."

Koko smiled at her but she did not see it anymore. Before he could completely leave the room, he turned around and said, "And there's someone who wants to talk to you."

"Who?" asked Mikan with curiosity and then behind Koko appeared him. "Natsume," she whispered.

Koko patted twice Natsume's shoulders before completely leaving. The silent communication they had was oblivious to Mikan even though it was all about her. Natsume still looked fresh and handsome. He dragged a desk and placed it parallel to Mikan's. He was waiting for the perfect time to be alone with her since he had been busy receiving the awards he got this year which he never wanted. He even insisted not to include it to the ceremony but teachers were more persistent than he was.

"Happy graduation, Miss Sakura."

Natsume noticed the stain of tears in her face so he immediately wiped it. Mikan felt touched at the action.

"I'm not exactly happy about this, you know. This day is dreadful and sad and not my type of ending."

Natsume knew she would say something like that. Mikan always thought she was not ready for a bigger picture even if she had the capabilities of succeeding.

"This also means that there is a larger world waiting for us," he explained, wanting her to see beyond what she was seeing.

Mikan nudged him in the shoulder. "Easy for you to say. You're smart and can do anything. Tokyo U should be ready for you."

He took the opportunity to hold her hand and ask her, "You still want to become a doctor?"

"Yes, I want to. But since I still have a pre-med course to take, I have enough time to think about it."

Her doubts, he wanted to erase it. "You should do it."

Mikan made a mischievous smile. "I can't exactly promise anything since my mind can change anytime."

"Ruka will become a vet," Natsume stated the possibility but when he was the one saying it, it's like it will really happen.

Mikan's eyes squinted, figuring out where the talk will lead to. "Hotaru will be a researcher," she said in a proud tone, proud for Hotaru.

Natsume did not look amaze. He was still on the stage of getting used to Hotaru Imai's way of thinking and capabilities that could level his. "That's not really surprising. But Koko is our future engineer."

Suddenly, their future looked so ideal. Like it it was really going to happen, no doubt it would be amazing. Mikan was having fun reciting the futures of her friends. "Anna, the future chef. Nonoko, the future chemist."

"Yuu will be an accountant."

Mikan thought hard and pinched Natsume's cheeks, much to his dismay. "Natsume Hyuuga will become richer than ever. He would be amazing. He will reach his dreams."

Of course she would think like that. Mikan always believed in him, that he was capable of doing the impossible. For her, he was the greatest one. But Natsume only thought of himself as a normal guy with a great Mikan Sakura who was always there for him. Mikan was her best friend for life and she made it possible for him to love for forever. For him, Mikan was the amazing one.

"Doctor Mikan Sakura," he said and added, "Not bad, Polka."

Mikan could not think of a good reaction for that. "The future looks cool and scary at the same time."

"It will always be," Natsume said.

"But it looks brighter with you there," Mikan said confidently.

Natsume smirked, trying his best not to show that his feelings for her were overwhelming him but Mikan knew better based on her extra happy look. In the end, they worked out their friendship and love for each other. They were best friends and at the same time the love of their respective lives. Soon, they would be separated and time would always be limited but they could do it. Nothing was impossible now.

"For me, it looks the brightest with you here."

**End of Chasing You**

* * *

><p><strong>I have so many things to say.<strong>

**First. I hope you enjoyed reading CY from the very first chapter up to here. It's been such a rollercoaster ride. I didn't know that the idea inside my head will actually become a story. I know that the idea of one-sided love between best friends is cliché but still you guys read it and gave positive feedbacks regarding the plot.**

**Second. Thank you for sharing your stories. Your own stories proved me right that this story is the closest thing to reality that I have written so far. Thank you for taking the time to type them down and entrust me with those personal experiences.**

**Third. I know that not everyone will like the ending but I have to thank you guys for reading and somehow giving your time to review and tell me that you don't like it. It's entirely fine. Also, for the criticisms I've faced throughout this process, I would like to say thank you. If it weren't for those, I won't be realizing my faults. **

**Fourth. Words are not enough to express how much I want to thank all of you who supported CY all the way. For those who are very enthusiastic every update, thank you. For those who reviewed every chapter, thank you. For those who didn't let go, thank you. Everyone had done such a good job putting a smile on my face. I look forward to every reviews and PMs.**

**Fifth. Somehow, I hope you learned a lesson while reading this story. Love can be simple and complicated. It all depends on how you will handle things. Love doesn't destroy things. Thank you for the love you made me feel for more than a year now.**

**It was such an amazing experience. Thank you for reading Chasing You. **

**-keaRy ance**


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